


The Fire in my Veins.

by tearsandholdme



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Bad Boy Derek, Bottom Stiles, Drug Use, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Marking, Miscommunication, Possessive Behavior, Protectiveness, Romance, Top Derek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-16
Updated: 2013-10-06
Packaged: 2017-12-23 17:34:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 25
Words: 128,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/929232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tearsandholdme/pseuds/tearsandholdme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek Hale is the resident bad boy that everyone warns Stiles about. They judge him but they don't know him, not the real him, and it doesn't stop Stiles from wanting and falling for Derek anyway. He's got underneath his skin for both of them and no amount of warning is about to keep him away from Derek. Stiles can't imagine his life without him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I took a prompt from TWKM requesting a badboy!Derek and bossy bottom!Stiles. Here it is. 
> 
> Additional warnings - biting, rough consensual sex, under-age drinking, sex, drug use, and violence. 
> 
> It is unbeta'd unfortunately but please point out any mistakes. 
> 
> If you like, please leave your kudos and comments, feedback would be awesome.

Stiles sighed deeply as the alarm clock beeped insistently next to his ear. The groan that escaped his lips was needed when he reached out slamming his hand down on the off button before rolling onto his back. His mouth tasted like ass when he licked his lips and sat up with a groan. Monday’s were the worst. It was the start of the week and he sighed deeply when he looked out of the window to see a cloudy day. January was also the worst month and he grumbled under his breath when he climbed out of bed to pull on his clothes. He missed the warmth of a hot Californian summer. 

He pulled on a black t-shirt before pulling on one of his many plaid shirts to go over it and his jacket for layers. His jeans fit him snugly when he stood looking in the mirror, his grown out hair a mess when he carded a hand through it, and he shrugged his shoulders letting it be.  
Stiles hummed when he ran downstairs jumping down the last three before heading to the kitchen for his morning coffee. His dad was already gone when he picked up the note from him. 

_“Need milk. Take money from the jar. Don’t be late for school!!!”_

Stiles tossed his head back with a heavy groan realising he wouldn’t be getting his morning coffee after all. He snatched his bottle of Adderall taking three tablets and gulping them down with juice instead of water. His eyes itched with tiredness when he nosed in the fridge before slamming it closed. There was no food in his opinion. He brushed his teeth and sat on the edge of his bed when he checked his phone to see nothing new before setting off to school. 

His hands stroked the top of his Jeep and he pouted when he spotted rust along the rim of his wheels. It was already becoming the worst day ever when he climbed in throwing his bag in the back and pushing the key into the ignition. It was worse that he had Mr. Harris for first lesson and was in no mood for his sneers and taunts directly at him. The roads were mostly clear when he drove to school and fiddled with his radio trying to get some music to cheer him up. It wasn’t his fault like he didn’t see the speeding Camaro trying to get past him. 

Stiles fumbled slamming on the break when it sped past him angry and he knew the driver well, everyone knew the owner of that car, and he swore slamming his fist when he drove on. Derek Hale was the owner and ever since he was fourteen years old he’s been told to keep away from him. It was his dad who told him first after arresting Derek for disorderly behaviour when he got drunk and high leading into a serious bar fight. The “bad-boy” persona stuck to him and there was no peeling it off. 

Stiles arrived in school, parked in his usual spot, and hopped out with a sigh. The school loomed over him and he couldn’t match the million watt smile Scott flashed at him. Stiles clapped him on the arm wordlessly when he hefted his bag on his shoulder and followed him up the path towards the school doors. 

“Are you okay?” Scott said in concern when they bustled around the people to get to their lockers.

“Fine, why, do I look like ass?” he muttered opening the locker door and looking at him. 

“No, just look like you’ve got something on your mind…” he murmured trailing off when he spotted her. 

Stiles sighed deeply slamming it shut and leaning against it when Allison and Lydia walked past them unaware of their existence. The queen and her knight. The queen who was Lydia no longer with her king since her and the on – off boyfriend that was Jackson was being a total douche with her. Scott was like a puppy when she passed and he groaned smacking his forehead hard against the locker next to him.

“How many months have you pined for this girl?” Stiles questioned pouting his lips and raising an eyebrow at him. 

“Too many, she’s…perfect! Look at her, that hair, those eyes, those lips, her legs, and…everything,” Scott rambled on giving him his best puppy dog expression. “You can’t say anything! How long with the crush on Lydia?”

“Lydia Martin is a goddess sent to us poor folk to adore and lust after,” Stiles replied with a shrug. “It’s sort of gone anyway. I would never, ever, have a chance with a girl like that! I have bigger fish to look at now.”

“Stiles, come on,” Scott muttered with a sigh of his own when he turned his head to look at him. “What is it with you and people you can never ever have?”

“I’m a healthy seventeen year old boy who is curious about both sexes! Boys, girls, I don’t care, I just want to lose my virginity is that too much to ask for!?” he demanded striking his shoulder. 

“Yes, when that fascination is fixated on Derek freaking Hale, Stiles, you know what he’s like!” Scott hissed gripping his elbow and dragging him with him when they walked down the corridor. “He drinks endlessly, he smokes, takes drugs, and is insane with that car and his little gang!”

“Those are rumours,” Stiles protested and ignored the look Scott shot at him. “That one time we saw him didn’t count.”

“He threw a bottle at someone staring at him!”

“Well wouldn’t you! He was majorly creepy staring at him and he did mouth off at him.”

“He’s bad news, he’s so not good enough for you, Stiles, and you don’t even know the guy, not really.”

“I know his sister though!” Stiles hissed pointing down the corridor to see Cora Hale walking up and glaring at the people in her way. Cora was a force to be reckoned with and even though like Derek they had never spoken she was both terrifying and beautiful. 

“She’d eat you alive!”

“I don’t want her though, I’m more curious about the guys then I am the girls at the moment.”

“You’re an idiot,” Scott said innocently and looked up when the school bell rang. “Class, come on.” 

Stiles trailed after him dragging his feet and walked into the classroom smelling the chemicals and sitting at his desk with Scott. It was routine when Mr. Harris glared at him for one moment before looking at the rest of them. There was no way this man wanted to be a teacher with the way he treated them all. His hand found his way to his chin when he stared gloomily forward watching him rant at them. Scott shifted next to him looking over his shoulder to stare at Allison throughout the lesson. It was nauseating in the worst way when he realised his best friend was possessed by her. 

It dragged on like it always did and he was glad for lunch time when he could shove food into his mouth and feel better at himself. It didn’t when a chip got caught in the back of his throat and he coughed spluttering his food everywhere. Scott thumped his back and it got so much worse when he realised a disgusted Lydia and Allison were looking at them both when he wheezed and covered his face.

“That couldn’t get any worse, could it?” Stiles muttered looking at Scott with watery eyes. 

“No,” Scott said with a roll of his eyes and shook his head. 

Stiles wanted to die in mortification and hid his face in Scott’s arm the best he could dying for the end of the day. It was horrendous and when the final lesson dawned and the heavens opened up lashing them with rain he gave up there and then. It was the worse day and he hated everything. He said his goodbyes to Scott with a promise to Skype him later when he got into the car and took one look at his gas with a sigh.

“Great, just…fucking great,” he muttered starting the car up and heading to the gas station.

It wasn’t busy when he got there thankfully and got out circling the car and checking his pockets for money before he filled it up. His eyes were on the numbers when the familiar black Camaro appeared and he watched it intrigued. Stiles swallowed when he got out wearing a leather jacket, tight jeans that left nothing to the imagination, and sunglasses covering his eyes. His mouth seemed to dry up at the sight of him, his mysterious vibe, the attractiveness of him, and the whole bad-boy persona worked really well on him. 

He was jerked out of his staring when Derek looked over him and even though he couldn’t see his eyes he could tell they were accusing. Stiles jerked away yanking the pump out and groaned realising he went over and closed his eyes feeling like an ass. It meant going into his secret stash of money and he couldn’t resist sneaking glances over to Derek filling his own car up and raised an eyebrow at his ass in those jeans. It should be a sin to look that good. 

The only problem was that everyone judged him, it wasn’t nice to be looked down upon and judged, but Derek didn’t make it any easier on himself. Stiles has been thirteen years old when an eighteen year old Derek came back into Beacon Hills with his kid sister, Cora. He had the money from life insurance and bought himself a loft apartment in town. Derek drank though, they speculated he took drugs and smoked on a daily basis, and with his friends he got into fights and acted like a nuisance. 

There was the pity though. Stiles had been eight years old when the Hale family passed away tragically in a house fire. It wasn’t suspicious and was accidental according to reports that Stiles looked into when his dad wasn’t looking. Derek and two sisters survived, Laura and Cora, an uncle survived too apparently but was badly burnt and hospitalised in a coma. It was horrifically awful and the three of them had moved out of Beacon Hills to somewhere unknown only to return years later without Laura. The question had never been raised by him, he couldn’t speak for anyone else. 

“Pump seven,” he said to the cashier with a fake smile before rubbing his head feeling a headache coming on. He handed over the cash and mourned the dip in the secret stash. He was saving for a new game. Stiles accepted the change and turned bumping into a solid wall of chest and stepped back staring at Derek suddenly behind him.

“Um, oh my god, I’m sorry, um, I didn’t see you there!” Stiles said eyeing him carefully before inhaling deeply and smelling a musky cologne that filled his senses. In all honesty he wanted to roll in it, demand his grey henley top from him, and curl up with it.

“What a surprise since you’ve not stopped staring at me since I’ve got here,” he said cocking an eyebrow at him.

“What? No, I wasn’t!” Stiles lied and faltered a little at the disbelieving snort Derek gave him. 

“Sure, you’re in my way,” Derek pointed out nodding at the impatient cashier staring at them.

“Oh, shit, sorry,” he mumbled dodging around him and looking over his shoulder at him before hurrying out to his car. 

“Oh my god, this day is the fucking worst,” he hissed smacking his forehead with his palm feeling like a complete fool and opened the car door to get in. Stiles paused when Derek walked out sans sunglasses and his skin prickled with heat when Derek glanced over at him with a smirk before getting in. He should just get into the car and leave but felt rooted to the spot watching him get in and drive away in blacked out windows. 

He sighed deeply pressing his forehead to the window before getting in, heading to the grocery store to get the milk, and heading home. His jeans were damp when he got into smell the food his dad was cooking. 

“Hey kiddo,” his dad called him to him when he walked in and put the milk in the fridge. “How was school?”

“Hell, I quit,” Stiles answered honestly heading into the living room. “School should be illegal and today was crap. I hate everything.” 

The Sheriff contemplated him as he stood leaning against the door. “Burger and fries in ten minutes?”

“Did you use the burgers I got?”

“Yes,” he replied with a sigh. “The healthier kind.”

“It sounds good,” he admitted lying back and kicking his feet up. It sounded like the best thing in the world right now when he turned the television on and chose to relax. The chance encounter with Derek left him tingly and on edge when he thought back over it feeling embarrassed and curious. He wanted to know more, he actually wanted more, he wanted to wrap his arms and legs around him, trail his fingers into his hair, and feel his stubble against his lips and cheek. 

It was an overwhelming need that he couldn’t tell anyone about. The Sheriff’s son liking and even talking with the one and only Derek Hale? The scandal. Stiles hummed when his dad called him and they sat at the dining room table to eat. The silence was somewhat tense, it always was, and he ate quickly so he could get upstairs and scream into his pillow. 

“Is everything okay?” he said softly, his forehead bunched in concern.

“Fine, why do you ask?” Stiles muttered taking a big gulp juice and forcing it down.

“Just seem a little off.”

“Bad day, dad,” Stiles admitted honestly putting his fork and knife on the plate and pushing back. “I have homework to do.”

“Sure, sure, just remember lights out at half eleven,” he warned pointing his fork at him before Stiles nodded heading upstairs and kicking his door shut. The bed was inviting when he flopped down on it like a fish listening to the protesting springs. His laptop stared at him as well as his school bag on the floor and he wondered when his life got boring. It was predictable now like everything. Go to sleep, go to school, suffer through school, come home and eat, do homework, watch Netflix, and go into an unpredictable sleep. 

There was times when he wished he was daring, he wished he could go out and do things, flirt with people, hell even lose his pesky virginity. His fingers drummed on the mattress before he stood up and headed to his window looking out. It was frustrating and his mind wandered to Derek wondering what he was doing right now and a part of him wanted to be there. Screw not knowing him, Stiles wanted a chunk out of that. 

~*~

Derek trailed his tongue over the skin of the roll up before finishing it and popping it into his mouth to smoke it happily enough. He inhaled deeply feeling the smoke swirl deep into his lungs before exhaling and watching the smoke rise. 

“That stuff stinks! Are you trying to kill yourself?” Cora demanded walking in and staring at him with her arms across her chest. 

“Not yet,” he muttered with a fake smirk looking at her. “Haven’t you got homework to do?”

“No, I’m done and I’m heading out before you reek the place out with cigarettes and whatever you want. You suffer here,” she snapped turning on her heel and walking out. Derek watched her go without a retort and sucked the end with a sigh before going to the window to smoke there. He watched as Cora walked down the street, her hands wrapped around her body when she fought the cold wind, and felt a pinch of guilt.

They moved back here for a fresh start but the outlook wasn’t too good at the moment. New York failed for all of them big time and it wasn’t till the disaster that he knew they had to come back here. The grief burnt in his chest when he thought of her, thought of them all, and he inhaled deeply before tossing it away. Derek licked his lips before turning around and heading to the fridge for beer. 

It was halfway gone when his cell chimed with a message and he saw one new message from Boyd asking him to come out for a few drinks. Derek agreed shooting him a message back and got ready. He was twenty when he met them, Vernon Boyd, Erica Reyes, and Isaac Lahey, a small group of three in college and he met them in a bar of all places. It was easy to click with them and two years later here they still were. 

The bar was semi busy when he walked in nodding at the barman who scowled at him. They all judged but they were all wrong, every single one of them, but who was he to correct them? 

“Oh well don’t you look handsome,” Erica leered at him from their seat in the corner, her long legs draped over Boyd’s and her red lips around a bottle of beer. “Come join us, we’re here celebrating Isaac’s new job.”

“Where?” he said sitting down and looking at Isaac glaring but blushing in the corner. 

“Vets, a helping hand, I have the qualifications,” he said with a shrug.

“Deaton’s place, yeah, he’s a nice guy,” Derek said with a nod of approval looking over to him. “You can finally pay me back all the money you owe.”

“I will, I’ll pay you all back!” he protested scowling at him and slouching back. 

“How is it that wonder boy over there can get a job but we can’t?” Erica demanded with a huff. “My resume is amazing and yet no one will take me on! I scrounge off this one here.”

Boyd gave her a look before meeting her lips with a quick kiss. Derek watched them and felt a knot of his own bitterness and loneliness tug desperately. They’d been on and off for years but finally after six months were on and staying on. His eyes flickered to Isaac who met his eye contact before looking away. They had their fair share of fun, a very vague sense of friends with benefits when they fucked quickly and dirty in the toilets or shared blow jobs in alley ways and backs of cars. It was fun and nothing more. 

“I’ll get a round in,” Derek said standing up and leaving them talking when he walked to the bar. 

“Three of our usual and red wine for the lady over there,” Derek said with a quick smile.

“I don’t want any trouble here, Hale, not like last time, you have one shot and you blow it…you’ll be barred from the only pub who’ll let you in,” he warned pouring the beers and looking at him sternly.

“You have a sweet heart, Frank,” Derek said clapping his chest and letting his smile falter when he handed over the money. “Thanks.”

He walked back to the table to see Erica debating something heavy and rolled his eyes when he settled taking a drink. 

“I say we get a camper van, the four of us get our shit together, and go travelling! It’ll be fun, better than Beacon Hills and bad memories and people who hate us,” she said looking at them all in turn. 

“I’ve just got a job,” Isaac protested.

“I have a sister,” Derek said honestly and smirked when she pouted at them all.

“Ruin my dream guys!”

“Why don’t you guys do it?” Isaac pointed out licking his lips after taking a big gulp of his drink. “Late night fucks underneath the stars, tons of alcohol, and a measly hundred dollars to get you going.”

Erica hummed looking at Boyd who shook his head once. “No.”

“Where’s your sense of adventure?!”

“It died a long time ago when I met you,” Boyd muttered and grunted when Erica punched him hard in the shoulder. “I wouldn’t want to go anywhere that’s not with you but we belong here, Erica, you know we do.”

Conversation spread out between them as more drinks were drank between them and he was feeling the edge of his beers. Erica was tipsy as she giggled coaxing Boyd into kisses that grew a little too much for him when she straddled his lap and Boyd palmed her ass. 

“Do you want to get out of here?” Isaac hissed at him jerking a thumb at the two of them. 

Derek nodded downing the rest of his drink before they headed outside. The wind was bitter when it blew around them and he shoved his hands into his jacket with a sigh. Isaac stood by his side looking up and down before focusing on him.

“I have an empty apartment, roommate is out for the night,” Isaac said with suggestion laced into his tone. “It’s better than being alone all night.”

Derek inhaled the cold air deeply scanning around the area and was about to agree when he saw him. He was huddled in a jacket walking down the street looking awkward and on edge like he was waiting to be caught. He stopped outside the local twenty four hour store selling alcohol fiddling with what looked like fake ID. The smile that inched to his lips was well needed when he watched the Sheriff’s son contemplate buying alcohol. 

“No, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he answered watching Isaac look at him in surprise before shrugging his shoulders and walking away. 

Everyone knew who Stiles was. The Sheriff’s son, annoying, hyperactive, nosy, but clever, very clever when he wanted to be. It seemed tonight wasn’t that night.

“You think that’s going to work?” Derek called to him watching him jump out of his skin and face him with wide eyes. “Everyone knows who you are.”

“Not the ones who’ll turn a blind eye once in a while,” he replied breathlessly eyeing him and straightening his back to meet his eyes. 

“Shouldn’t you be tucked in bed?”

“Cute, I’m not a kid, and I needed a walk,” Stiles muttered with a roll of his eyes shoving the card into his jacket. 

“It’s…quarter to eleven, does the Sheriff know you’re out for a walk?” 

“No, are you going to tell him?”

“Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know, you’re the one who said it,” Stiles protested with a hard swallow. “I had a bad day and I wanted some release. My dad never checks on me, he’d be out looking for me if he really knew.”

Derek narrowed his eyes at him thoughtfully when Stiles crossed his arms over his chest watching him, his tongue flicking out to wet his chapped lips, and he nodded.

“I know the feeling, give it here,” he said walking over to him and holding out his hand. 

“What?”

“Your money,” he said nodding at his hand.

“Wait, are you serious?” Stiles demanded staring up at him with open shock. “What do you want to do with it?”

“What do you think?” Derek said slowly looking at the shop and back at him raising an eyebrow at him. 

Stiles spluttered before reaching into his jacket and passing him the money. Derek knew what he was about to do was probably one of the worst decisions but he didn’t care when he ordered Stiles to wait by his car. The bottle of vodka wasn’t expensive but it would do the job when he walked out and walked to his car. Stiles was trailing his fingers down the exterior of it and jumped again nervously when he appeared next to him. 

“You have a knack for doing that,” Stiles said awkwardly and his mouth fell open when Derek pushed the bottle into his hands. “You – you actually got me this?”

“Do you want me to take it back?”

“No!” he protested shaking his head. “No, um, wow, thanks.”

“Get in the car,” Derek ordered circling around it and getting in as Stiles scrambled to get inside. He looked around, his amber brown eyes looking dark in the dim light, and his posture speaking nervousness and confusion. 

“Why are you out walking around?”

“Whatever happens in Beacon Hills? The last murder was over a year ago and no one is going to come near me and attempt rape now are they?” he muttered opening the cap and sniffing it gingerly. Derek watched out of the corner of his eye when Stiles knocked it back with a big gulp before gagging. The snort of laughter escaped him before he realised and frowned staring forward. 

“Hey! It’s strong and who the hell buys vodka straight?!” Stiles demanded looking at him. “Are you taking me home?”

“Yes, I don’t want to be arrested for soliciting a minor with a bottle of vodka. You might want to slow down,” Derek answered watching him drink it like water. 

“You’re the one who bought it,” Stiles replied with a soft snort. “I just wanted to get out, go for a walk, and distract myself for thinking about the shitty day. It’s better than sitting with my laptop watching reruns of Breaking Bad and eating too many Doritos.” 

“So vodka is the alternative,” Derek muttered feeling amusement tickle him inside when he parked further down the street and looked at him. “Get out, get into bed, and go to sleep, Stiles. That can be used daily.” 

Stiles answered by taking another swig of his bottle and glaring at him before getting out. Derek stopped him though when he noticed the small bead of it still on his lip and reached out slowly stroking his thumb across his bottom lip. He wasn’t foolish when he noticed the way Stiles’ breathing grew shallower when he looked at him up through his lashes. 

“You missed a spot,” he muttered before slipping his thumb in between his own lips and sucking. 

Derek resisted the urge to smirk when Stiles gulped watching him and fumbled nearly falling out of the car. 

“T – Thanks for the…you know,” Stiles said gesturing at the car before staring at him. “You didn’t have to.”

“I could never leave the Sheriff’s kid out in the cold.”

“It’s not just that though,” Stiles admitted shaking his head back and forth slowly. 

Derek pressed his tongue against his bottom teeth considering him before leaning forward and pointing at the house. “You’re welcome, now go, before a search party is called.” 

Stiles nodded quickly as he stepped back with a slight stumble in his step when he slammed the car door behind him. Derek watched and waited silently when Stiles walked to the house stopping only once to look back at him before walking around the side of his house. He pulled away driving back home still smelling the lingering smells of vodka and his axe deodorant. It probably wasn’t the best decision making and instead of probably being fucked into the mattress right now he was buying a teenager alcohol and taking him home. 

Derek sighed deeply as he pressed the pedal down harder speeding through the streets and prayed he wasn’t pulled over. He was in no mood for spending another night in the cells for drinking whilst driving. 

~*~

Stiles sat on his bed reeling when he kept the vodka bottle between his legs, his lips touching his tingling lip, and listening to his dad’s snores downstairs. His cock was half hard and aching to be touched when he fell back against the cushions. It had been a spontaneous decision when he got out of the house after his dad fell asleep on the couch. It was cold when he walked down the streets and headed in any direction. That direction remarkably led him to Derek and now here he was tipsy and horny. He gingerly placed the bottle on the floor before closing his eyes and unbuttoning his jeans.

His hands were cold when he shoved them down to his knees with his underwear and slid his fingers over his cock teasing it and stroking it till he was hard. Stiles thought of Derek, he thought of the way he looked tonight in leather and a purple top, his eyes amused and thoughtful when they looked at him, and his thumb on his lip. Stiles brought his legs up when he spread his legs wide slowly stroking his hand up and down his cock slowly, his fingers teasing the head feeling moisture. 

His breathing came out raggedy when his other hand moved down to stroke over his hole and quickly reached under his pillow for the lube. The first lubricated finger was the burn he needed when he gasped imagining Derek pinning him to the bed, his stubble burning his cheeks and lips in the best way, his hands stroking over his skin and bringing him to the brink. Stiles moaned working his hand up and down his shaft faster whilst working his other fingers inside of him. The heat intense when sweat covered his back and inner thighs in a thin sheen. His mind bringing him over when he imagined Derek’s cock breaching him, filling him up, and completing him. 

It was intense in the best way when he crooked the two fingers inside of him and gasped throwing back his head when he climaxed. Come splattered his chest when his legs and thighs shook, his eyes clenched closed as he moaned quietly, and removed his fingers. The wet squelch filled the bedroom when he wiped them on the bed cover and breathed hearing his heartbeat in his ears. The come settled and cooled on his chest and stomach when he looked down and winced standing up to pull on his underwear and get a towel from the bathroom. 

There was that sense of comfort and tiredness when he got back into the bedroom and climbed under the covers feeling better. Derek’s face filled his version when sleep welcomed him and despite the release longed for the real thing. Time would tell in the end.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for comments and kudos. Feedback would be awesome.
> 
> I apologise for any mistakes, if there are any, please tell me. 
> 
> Enjoy. :)

Stiles’ eyes burned when he stare at the laptop screen and sighed deeply as he tossed his head back to stare at the ceiling. It was tiring and he pouted looking into his drawer to find the stashed bottle of vodka and pulled it out to see it still empty. The small part of him wishing it was full died and he stared out of the window feeling that itch of boredom and loneliness. It had been four days since he last saw Derek and he wanted to find him again. It was difficult when they didn’t know each other and he couldn’t just walk up and say hello like a normal person. 

It wasn’t like he could talk to anyone about this and Scott was no help at all at the moment. His little “love story” was up and going and it all started when Scott crashed into her by accident and books went _everywhere _. Hands brushed, eye contact was shared, and Stiles gagged throughout the whole story when Scott recited it with heart eyes. In reality though he was happy for him. Scott deserved a little happiness and they were a suited couple. His love life was at zero point and it frustrated him to the max. There was only so much enjoyment you got out of your right hand and he sighed deeply standing up to look out of his window.__

His dad was out, a late night shift, and walking around outside seemed a bad idea when anyone could come across him. His eyes went to his stash of money on the desk and energy drinks and candy despite the late hour seemed a great idea. It was Friday in the end and Scott was no help since this was his official date night with Allison. It was a late night movie for the two of them. Stiles made the decision when he got his money and car keys heading downstairs. His eyes went to the clock informing him it was half past ten. 

“Come on, baby,” he murmured climbing into the car after locking up and heading to the local store. The cashier looked bored when he looked up at him before turning his attention to the book he was currently reading. Stiles hummed when he trailed up and down the aisles looking for something that could distract him and lingered in the alcohol section. He’d never ever get away with it here, the manager was a bitch. 

Stiles turned away heading to the candy side of the aisle to get some crap and jumped when he heard a familiar voice. 

“Why do I always find you out in the middle of the night?”

“Derek,” he muttered dropping the bag of chips he had on the floor staring at him. “One, it’s a Friday night, and two, I can do what I want.”

“Sure,” Derek murmured in reply nodding his head and watched when he scooped the bag off the floor. 

Stiles looked at the basket in his hand before meeting his eyes. “Hey, um, thanks…you know for buying it and not telling my dad.”

“Why would I do that?” 

“I don’t know, being a good citizen or in your case not being a good citizen,” he mumbled and closed his eyes fighting the waves of embarrassment striking him. “It came in handy.”

“Is it all gone?”

“I had a bad day on Wednesday.”

“What happened?”

“My best friend got a love life and I got milkshake all over my favourite t-shirt,” Stiles explained with a hard swallow. 

Derek nodded once looking up and down the aisle, his forehead wrinkled in concentration before holding up his basket.

“Want to help me with this?”

“Seriously?” 

“Yes,” Derek said simply with a nod in his direction. 

“You want to drink that with…me?” Stiles questioned staring into it feeling confused and elated all at once. 

“Yes, Stiles, it shouldn’t come much of a shock.”

“When it’s you asking, yes it is, you have that gang of yours and your sister…and it’s a shock and a surprise all rolled into a big ball of confusion,” he ranted watching him raise an eyebrow in his direction. “Fine, I’ll drink it with you.” 

Stiles swallowed the lump in his throat when Derek brushed past him to go and pay for it all. It was interesting to watch the cashier straighten and see a hint of fear in his eyes when he served Derek. There was a cool and calm demeanour that surrounded Derek in this moment but also a sense of darkness and mystery. The shiver that ran up his spine was involuntary and he watched him leave before paying for his own stuff. 

“You know that guy?” the cashier said taking his stuff off him.

“Kind of, not really, he doesn’t seem like a talkative guy,” Stiles said honestly.

“He’s a creep, got that look in his eyes like he’s going to murder you,” the cashier muttered putting it all in a bag for him and accepting the cash. “I’d be wary of him.”

“Coming from the guy who leers at everyone behind a glass and picks his nose,” Stiles said slowly watching the guy’s cheeks flush before snatching his bag. “I think I should be more wary of you.”

Stiles left quickly after that to see Derek leaning against his car waiting for him. 

“What about my car?”

“Lock it up, no one’s going to rob that thing.”

“Rude,” Stiles cried pointing a finger at him before doing exactly that and locking it up. “Where are we going?”

“My place,” Derek said getting into the car and Stiles took that as his cue to get in and get comfortable. His eyes trailed over the exterior inside and he felt a pang of jealously. He loved his car more than anything but sometimes he wished it was a little nicer. 

Derek was silent when he drove them to the block of apartments and the tyres squealed when he parked and got out. Stiles was nervous when he got out also slamming the door behind him and trailed after him when Derek led him upstairs and into his apartment.

“Wait, is Cora in?” he hissed putting his hand on his arm. 

“No, she’s out for the night,” Derek murmured looking down at his hand before opening the door and letting them in.

Stiles looked around in surprise. It had a sort of gloomy feeling to it when he looked at the sofa, the rug and table in the middle, a bookcase pressed against his wall filled with books, DVD’s, a stereo, and albums, and a double bed.

“I’m guessing Cora lives up there,” he said pointing to the stairs.

“We flipped a coin, she won,” Derek said heading to the kitchen and putting the bag down. 

“Cool,” Stiles said heading to the bookcase to have a nose. “Lot of Stephen King books here.”

“Nothing wrong with a little horror.”

“Yeah, you say that now, but it’s a different story when you’re all alone and hear a noise in the house. It’s scary,” Stiles murmured pulling out the different films. “You have Avengers, my opinion of you just went rocket high.”

Derek was quiet when he approached him with a glass. Stiles took it and sniffed it suspiciously.

“Whiskey, I’m not going to kill you, have you had it before?”

“Yeah!” Stiles lied taking a gulp and swallowing it down hard fighting back the urge to wince and cough because it burnt and hurt. “It wouldn’t surprise me though, luring me here with your sexiness, your mystery, and you kill me before stuffing my body into a hole in your wall.”

“You have a vivid imagination.”

“My dad calls me special,” Stiles muttered breathlessly before thumping his chest and coughing. “This stuff is strong.”

“Take it easy,” Derek muttered with a smirk heading to the sofa and sitting down heavily. “I don’t want you throwing up on me.”

“I don’t throw up, not after the last time when Scott and I stole his mom’s vodka and…we went a little wild. We were grounded for a month.” 

“I remember that, well I remember hearing about it from…well your mom,” Derek said softly reaching into his pocket to get something out.

There was a punch to his chest when he thought of her and he knew Derek could see that when he pushed a cigarette in between his lips lighting it. There shouldn’t be anything attractive about smoking but watching him was arousing and his teeth sank into the soft flesh of his bottom lip.

“Here,” Derek said handing it to him with a challenge shining in his eyes. 

Stiles took it gingerly as he inhaled it slowly and breathed out watching the grey smoke rise and disappear. 

“You’ve done that before,” Derek commented taking it off him.

“Scott,” Stiles explained with a shrug. “We wanted to try everything once. It didn’t end well.”

“You talk about him a lot, Scott…McCall, right?”

“Yeah, he’s my best friend, my only friend actually, and he’s gone got himself a girlfriend,” Stiles murmured moving to sit down beside him swirling his glass. “I’m happy for him but at the same time it reminds me of how lonely I am and how so far at the bottom I am that it sucks! I’m sorry, I’m moaning, you don’t want to hear this from someone you don’t even know.” 

“I don’t mind.”

Stiles huffed out a laugh and drank down the rest of it not caring about the burn and breathed out shakily. 

“If I start talking I won’t shut up.”

“I gathered that.” 

“No, seriously, can I have more of this?” Stiles said holding up his glass and moving to pour another glass of it when Derek nodded. “I’ll talk and talk till you kick me out of that…huge window, why do you need a window that big? Do you spy on people?”

“No,” Derek replied with a shake of his head watching him. 

Stiles pursued his lips with a nod and chuckled out of nervousness. “I feel awkward and I don’t know what to say. Why did you bring me here?”

“Company,” Derek said with a hint of a smile.

“So you’re lonely?”

Derek was silent for a long minute before answering him. “Maybe.”

“But you have those friends, I’ve seen them around, Erica, Boyd and Isaac, you’re not alone,” Stiles said shaking his head. “Not really.” 

“You don’t think that you can have the company of so many people around you and in the end still feel completely alone?”

Stiles exhaled harshly turning and getting the bottle before walking back towards him and sitting down heavily next to him. 

“I think this conversation needs so much more of this!” he insisted holding it up and pouring some into his glass. “But yeah, I know that feeling.” 

There was an unspoken agreement between them when they drank more of the bottle of whiskey and Stiles was starting to really it. His body felt warm whilst his mind felt cloudy and his vision blurry meaning he was well onto his way to being drunk. 

“I – I love him, like I do, he’s my best friend but he’s an idiot sometimes you know, like fixated on her and I hate it! I hate that one way…or the other, she’s going to take him away from me and then there’s me…unattractive, annoying and all alone!” Stiles said throwing his hands out and looking over at Derek watching him bemused when he smoked. “There’s Lydia, beautiful, smart, popular Lydia Martin who doesn’t give a damn about me and it’s not like I really care but then…then there’s Danny and he’s just…”

Stiles flexed his arms and pulled up his own top to reveal his stomach. 

“He has muscles and a six pack! I – I have nothing!”

He’d be a fool if he didn’t notice the way Derek trailed his eyes up and down him, his eyes lingering on his stomach and hips with an interest. It left heat pooling in his stomach when he tugged it down and tossed his head back with a sigh. 

“I wasn’t meant to be born into the world sexy and desirable…not like you,” Stiles murmured giving him a sidelong glance.

“Me?”

“Don’t be naïve, you know how you look! You have all the girls and hell even some of the guys falling for your ass because you’re gorgeous and hot and act all mysterious and angry. You’re the hottest guy here,” Stiles ranted and stopped feeling his cheeks flush with colour when he realised what his mouth had spouted out. “Oh my god, ignore that, please ignore that.” 

“I don’t think I want to,” Derek murmured softly leaning forward and into his personal space.

“I’m drunk, so, so drunk, and you smell so good,” Stiles muttered and cursed his mouth, his words, and everything he held dear to look at his lips. “It’s nice, musky, but not overwhelming like – like in your face and choking me. It’s so good and your mouth looks awesome.”

“Stiles, shut up,” Derek murmured meeting his eyes.

“I told you I talked a lot, like so much, my dad bought ear plugs once and put them in when I was talking and just nodded his head along with me. My dad would murder me if he knew I was here, they all tell me to stay away but…here I am,” Stiles murmured turning his head to look away from him and picking up the bottle with a shaky hand to drink it. “I think I burnt my throat away. Why are you staring at me like that?”

“I’ve never met anyone like you, I know you from afar, annoying, talkative, tiresome, but you’re a lot more than I imagined.”

“How much more?”

Stiles squeaked embarrassingly when Derek grabbed his wrist yanking him till he was near enough straddling his thighs and waist. His stomach was doing flips meaning he was either excited or about to vomit all over his pretty face. 

“You called yourself unattractive before, you’re wrong,” Derek muttered trailing his fingers slowly up his right thigh. 

It tickled in the right way when he stifled the groan threatening to come out. It was the surrealist thing when he was here in his lap when he should be at home sleeping alone or masturbating. He knew where he’d rather me though and placed two hands on Derek’s shoulders when the fingers crept higher pushing under his top to the pale skin underneath. Stiles was also ninety nine per cent sure that the alcohol was affecting them both and the half empty bottle of whiskey was a witness of that. The small whimper that escaped his lips was the result when Derek scratched his nails down his stomach slowly and his cock took a great interest when it hardened. 

“Oh my god,” Stiles whispered aching to kiss him when Derek trailed his hands up his chest and back, his nails pressing into skin hard enough to leave red trails that stung a little in the aftermath. Derek watched him with wide open eyes looking much more control then he was when he leaned into him and stared at his lips. 

“Fuck,” he whispered urgently.

“Maybe one day,” Derek whispered in return moving his hand up to press his fingers against his lips. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Stiles muttered feeling confused and dizzy when he removed his fingers slowly stroking down his neck. 

Derek didn’t reply to his frustration and carefully moved his fingers down him so he shuddered shaking his head.

“Don’t tease me, don’t fucking tease me,” Stiles warned gripping the back of his neck and moaned desperately when Derek surged up kissing him hard. His lips were soft but insistent against his when they moved against it each other. Derek’s tongue pressed into his mouth when it deepened in the best way. It was the wet hot heat he needed when Derek shifted licking and biting into his mouth when he flipped them. 

Stiles back hit the sofa with a muffled groan against his lips when he opened his mouth wider needing to be kissed within an inch of his life. Derek’s body was warm, solid, and a constant pressure in between his thighs when they parted for breath. His cock ached within his jeans, desperate for touch and release but was for now ignored when Derek coaxed him back into it. 

His stubble burnt against his cheeks in the best way and he swore loudly when Derek trailed his lips down his jaw before nosing at his neck. Stiles wasn’t drunk enough to not realise what was going on and hissed in pleasure and pain when Derek sucked a mark into his pale skin. His teeth and tongue stroking over the mark and Stiles wasn’t about to let him have all the fun when he shoved at his shoulders. Derek moved in surprise and Stiles smirked against his neck when he moaned low when Stiles bit into the skin hard. 

“We shouldn’t be doing this, should we be doing this?” Stiles whispered breathlessly when Derek kissed his throat.

“Stiles, _shut up _,” Derek muttered kissing him hard and silencing him instantly. His stomach churned inside of him when he slid his hands into his hair gripping it tight and pulled away panting.__

“You’re an amazing kisser, like seriously,” he whispered rocking his hips against him and groaning louder when his cock protested. “But you know what’ll be better? The bed.”

The lights in Derek’s eyes were flamed when he seemed to agree pulling Stiles arms around his neck before lifting him up. Stiles swore against his lips when his hands gripped his ass tight when he carried him to the bed dropping him on it. 

“That was the hottest thing that has ever happened to –” Stiles muttered only to be cut off by Derek’s lips insistent on shutting him up. His fingers worked at his jeans when he yanked them down hard before stroking over his clothed cock slowly. Stiles jerked against them biting into his bottom lip till he tasted Derek’s blood and gripped his hips.

“Oh god, touch me, please, Derek,” he pleaded thrusting them towards him eagerly. Derek’s smirk constant when he pulled his jeans all the way down so his legs were free. Stiles watched when he spread his thighs wider and trailed his nose down his groin slowly. 

“Do you want me to suck you?”

“Oh my god,” Stiles breathed closing his eyes and attempting to get a clear head and not feel sicker than he felt. “Yes, I want your mouth, your tongue, your stupid hands, anything!”

Derek huffed a laugh against his inner thigh when he kissed down one of them before hooking his fingers into the band of his underwear pulling them down. Stiles closed his eyes desperately when Derek made a small sound above him, his fingers stroking the underside of his cock so he jumped and hissed. His feet planted into the mattress when Derek replaced his fingers with his mouth and tongue licking upwards till he reached the head. 

“Fuck, Derek!” Stiles shouted when Derek swirled his tongue over the head sucking the pre-come cooling there. He knew he was being loud, he couldn’t help it, and he whimpered when Derek’s other hand caressed his balls. The warm wet feeling of his mouth covered his cock when Derek sucked him down, his head cleverly bobbing, and it only hit him when he clenched the pillow underneath his head that he was halfway losing his virginity. This was oral sex and the reality of it made his eyes flash open when he realised. 

His sexual stamina wasn’t very good and it wasn’t long before his orgasm reached its peak and he cried out coming into his mouth. His back arching off the bed for a good couple of seconds when Derek swallowed him till he was satisfied and breathing hard on the sheets. Stiles looked down at Derek who came off him slowly licking him clean until he whined about his sensitivity. 

“What about you?” Stiles murmured when Derek hovered over him kissing him softly this time. His lips were salty with the remnants of his come and it should be disgusting but it wasn’t. It was arousing in the best way.

“I’m good,” Derek murmured staring into his eyes before rolling onto his back next to him. Stiles’ eyes burnt with tiredness from the alcohol when he rolled to the side to get his underwear and pulled them on. There was silence when they lay together and something niggled in the back of Stiles’ mind when his eyes drifted closed but he just couldn’t put his finger on it. 

~*~

Stiles’ dreams were a mixture of nightmares and something hidden when he attempted to claw his way to consciousness. He knew something was wrong and forced his eyes open feeling warm but his head protested something fierce along with his bladder. There was also something warm and solid next to him when he looked over his shoulder to see Derek fast asleep. The place was dark apart from the street lights outside lighting the place enough for him to see. 

“Oh my god,” he breathed as he sat up and groaned despite his protesting head. “Oh shit!” 

“Oh this is not happening! This can’t be happening,” Stiles hissed picking up his fallen cell phone to see two missed phone calls from Scott and his dad, two messages from his dad asking him where he was. It also informed him it was seven thirty and his bladder was protesting awfully. He hurried away to the bathroom staring into the bowl as he pissed and massaged his temples. 

Stiles didn’t want to look in the mirror and kept his head down when he stepped out to see Derek now awake staring at him with narrowed eyes. 

“Oh yeah,” he muttered with a sniff looking around.

“I stayed over, my dad is going to kill me, I’m dead, I’m so, so, so, dead,” he muttered sitting on the end of the bed when he grabbed his jeans and discarded shoes. “Why didn’t you wake me up and send me home?!”

Derek didn’t answer and instead slapped his hand over his mouth. “Please, please, shut up, I have a headache and your talking is forbidden.” 

Stiles glared at him as he stood yanking them on and doing them up with his converse. It was too early, his head and body ached in the worst way, and his eyes couldn’t stop looking at the mark on Derek’s neck. It was his mark on him and the worst thing in the world was how good he looked in the morning. There was no care in Derek’s world when he stretched out on the bed whilst Stiles fussed and worried. 

“I’m going to go,” Stiles muttered jerking his thumb over his shoulder backing away to collect his forgotten bag of candy and chips. 

“Sure,” Derek murmured watching him leave. “Come here first.”

Stiles swallowed when he walked over him half confused half curious when Derek grunted sitting up and reached into his front pocket for his cell phone. Derek typed on it before handing it back to him. 

“It saves me bumping into you in the nights,” he murmured lying back down. 

There was a squeeze in his chest when he nodded and backed up heading to the door. Stiles took the stairs when he practically ran down them till he reached the main door and shivered in the wind of the morning. It was a long walk to the store to collect the Jeep he prayed was still there.

His prayers were answered when he instantly saw it when he arrived and opened her up climbing in. His first visit would be to go to Scott’s waking him up to get an alibi for why he wasn’t home. Melissa’s car wasn’t in the driveway when he arrived and he breathed out his relief when he got out his own key to open the door. The house was silent when he hurried up the stairs and barged into Scott’s bedroom to see him sprawled across it.

“Yo!” he shouted kicking the bed so he jumped spitting his comforter out of his mouth and reached over turning on his lamp. The bedroom was filled with an orange yellow light. 

“Stiles?” he croaked staring at him with bleary eyes. “What the hell dude?”

“I need you to be my alibi, I did – I did something stupid and I need you to cover my ass,” Stiles pleaded staring at him when Scott woke up looking him up and sown. 

“Dude, what the hell happened to you? Have you seen yourself?”

“No, why?” Stiles whispered and headed to his mirror. “Holy shit!”

His cheeks were red in the worst way from stubble burn, his neck dotted with the odd hickey, and he looked rough as hell. It looked like he’d been screwing someone all night along and it was only half the truth when he thought back to the blow job. 

“Stiles?!” Scott demanded much more alert. 

“I, um, I don’t know how to explain this but you need to trust me,” Stiles pleaded turning towards him. 

“I tried calling you last night but all I got was voicemail…where were you? No, who were you with?!”

“In…Narnia, literally, I was in a place I thought I would never, ever, be, and did things I never, ever, thought I would,” he muttered staring at the wall before glancing at Scott staring at him confused. “Look! I will explain all of this later, just…if my dad asks questions I was here all night and this…this is from…your carpet! We wrestled.”

“What? Stiles, wait!” Scott called after him when he hurried downstairs and out of the front door. He climbed into his Jeep starting her up and driving her home. The groan that escaped him when he saw his dad’s car in the driveway made his stomach twist in the worst way. 

“Shit, shit, shit,” he chanted stepping out and locking the door quietly enough when he opened the front door carefully and quietly. The house was quiet in the way he didn’t like when he kicked off his shoes quietly and headed to the stairs.

“Stiles,” his dad said from the living room scaring him when he stumbled nearly falling over. 

“Oh, hey, what you doing up you should be in bed?” Stiles said licking his lip and looking at his dad sat on the sofa, the television on mute, and a cup in his hands. 

“Cut the small talk, where have you been?”

“Scott’s, his, um, his date didn’t go well. He needed his bro,” Stiles lied with a shrug. “I woke up early but not early enough it seems. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“I was worried when your car wasn’t there and your bed was unslept in,” he scolded looking at him. “Are you okay? You look pale but your cheeks are pink.”

“Yeah, dad, I’m fine, I just need some sleep,” he muttered keeping in the darkness of the hallway. It was still dark outside and he saw his dad grunt in agreement when he stood up turning off the television. Stiles kept his head down when he climbed the stairs and shut the door behind him in relief. He breathed out shakily switching on the light when he looked in the mirror and turned his head side to side inspecting the damage. It wasn’t too bad. 

Stiles knew he smelt. He could smell the whiskey, Derek’s cologne all over him, and could still taste him on his tongue and lips. He stripped out of his clothes when he lied down in his bed and wrapped himself up tight feeling exhausted. This was the start of something big for the both of them and without a doubt he couldn’t wait to find out what.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos!
> 
> I'm so 50/50 with this story and I just want to know I'm doing an okay job with it. So thank you for the support.
> 
> Enjoy :)

Stiles was never the self-conscious type but going to school that Monday with nothing to hide them with people stared. In the end he told Scott he went to a bar using his fake ID and slept over at the strange guys house. It gained a telling off from Scott who scolded him for being stupid. He kept the truth with him and he liked that. It was his secret to bear and he slapped at Allison’s fingers when she poked at them that lunchtime.

“Tramp stamp,” she said with a smirk. “He did his number on you, are you going to see him again?”

“Hopefully,” Stiles muttered stroking his hand over his neck and checking his phone for the hundredth time that day to see if he texted him back. There was no luck and he sighed deeply pocketing it. 

“Are you ever going to tell me who it was?” Scott questioned staring at Allison instead of him. 

“Who? Stiles new guy,” a new voice said and Stiles looked up when Lydia appeared like an old friend sliding into the seat opposite him.

“You know my name? I’m flattered!” Sties said in mock joy patting his chest. “You also know my story, does this mean we’re friends now?”

Lydia gave him a single look that felt like his balls had gone back into his body. Stiles sniffed as he grabbed his bottle of water and chugged it down. 

“Are you going to tell us then?” Scott said striking his shoulder gently.

“It was no one, it was just some guy! Can we drop it now, please?” he pleaded looking at the three of them as they glanced at each other and gave in. 

Conversation split between the three of them when it was eventually dropped and Stiles picked at his sandwich. His mind wandered back to the Friday night and he felt another punch of longing to his gut. He hadn’t seen Derek since that night but they shared the odd text now and again. It didn’t feel like a mistake or even a drunken mistake but he guessed that Derek did. It hurt in a way that anyone with a longstanding fascination and interest with someone would feel when the unexpected happened. 

Stiles knew he was pining for Derek and in the worst way. He jumped out of his skin when the bell rang and he followed after the others when they went to math. It wasn’t what he needed right now when he sat at his desk and fiddled with his pen listening to the drones of their teacher, Mr Hughes. He looked like an overcooked potato and the thought was hard to push down when laughter bubbled to the surface. 

He was distracted enough to barely feel when a crumpled piece of paper hit the back of his head and he turned to see Lydia behind him looking sheepish whilst doodling on her pad. Stiles frowned as he picked it up and unfolded it to see five words. 

**“I know who it is”**

Stiles felt his stomach plummet as he turned to look at her but got no response. 

“Mr Stilinski!” Mr Hughes shouted so everyone glanced at him. “Is there a problem?”

“No sir!” he called back with a wave of his hand and slumped in his chair feeling agitated and with the need to talk to her right now. The clock inched forward slowly to his distress and frustration when he chewed on the pen waiting for the bell to ring. It was not only his relief when the bell rang and he went for Lydia gripping her arm and tugging her away from the crowd.

“What the hell was that?” he hissed before straightening and stiffening slightly when he saw Cora walking towards them to walk past. Her eyes were calculating when she looked over them, her eyes lingering on his neck with narrowed eyes, before she swept past.

Lydia was looking at him with a raised eyebrow and a knowing smile on her lips. Stiles cleared his throat choosing to stare down at his shoes instead. 

“I’m no idiot, you walked into this school with hickeys on your neck, and the remains of what looks like stubble burn on those cheeks of yours, and you’re walking like the cat got the cream. It’s also no secret about your little crush on Derek Hale.”

“It’s not a crush, I’m not a twelve year old girl!” he hissed at her. “It’s also no secret that I well…”

“Stiles, I know,” she said simply.

Stiles felt his cheeks and neck flush and he coughed trying desperately to rid the feeling of embarrassment.

“That’s old news now though and I know we’ve not spoken, hell I’ve ignored you, I admit that, but now that your best friend is dating my best friend…we all have to come together and hold hands.”

“You really have a way of wording things,” he mumbled rubbing a hand through his hair.

“I’m right aren’t I? I never thought you’d have it in you.”

“Fine, yes, it’s true, your very smart guess is right but…it’s early, like premature labour early, okay?! Just…drop it,” he muttered looking at her with pleading eyes. 

Lydia stared at him for a long moment before huffing and nodding. “Okay, but if anything happens…”

“I swear on everything I own I will come to you! It’s kind of…nice in a way to know that I have someone to turn to. No one can know though, no one, Lydia.”

Stiles watched with a heavy weight in his chest when she drew her fingers across her lips miming zipping them and smirked before walking away. He watched her leave and still felt that lust prickle underneath his skin. She was gorgeous, clever, and that wasn’t about to change any time soon. His fingers reached into his cell and he sent Derek another message. 

_“Ignoring me is not cool dude, we need to talk.”_

School ended soon after that and it was custom to drive to Scott’s where they played on his Xbox. Killing zombies was fun enough to distract you for an hour or two but not with a best friend who was head over heels in love already. 

“She wants to take me camping, well we both do, but it’ll give us time to get out and you know…” he said with a suggestive look.

“Oh dude, please, I don’t want to hear about your sex life!”

“What I can’t talk about it but you can flaunt it?” Scott cried kicking at him gently.

“Still a virgin dude, it was…half of it,” he murmured looking at Scott who frowned in confusion. “Oral, Scotty.” 

“Oh god!” Scott muttered in disgust. “I still can’t believe you did that. What if he raped you?”

“Can we not have this argument again? It was fine, I’m fine, it was good, really good actually, it was good enough that I fell asleep in his bed, Scott, and it’s the best thing to happen to me in…forever! You got a girlfriend and I…I get drunk on weekends.” 

“That’s not a good thing.”

“It is for me,” he murmured and whooped when he killed Scott and smirked when Scott pouted at him. “Want to order food? Dad won’t be back to eight.”

Scott agreed as he got the takeout menu and they ordered pizza, fries, with a side of garlic bread. It was times like these that he loved and relished. It was easy and comfortable and he jumped when his cell phone beeped with a message. 

_“You don’t give up do you?” – Grumpy. 7.24pm._

It was one message that brought a smile to his lips when he sent him a message back.

_“Nope! Please???”_

Stiles hated that he had to beg the guy to get him to meet up and talk to him but he was stubborn when he wanted to be and was so not about to back down. It wasn’t like he could go around to his apartment not with Cora living there. His cell phone remained quiet when they played two more games before their food came. Derek didn’t text back at all when he eventually went home full and satisfied to find his dad home.

“Hey kiddo,” he called to him when he slammed the door shut and pulled off his coat and gloves but kept his scarf on. It had been difficult explaining it to his dad who questioned him about them and Stiles had yet to give an answer. He didn’t want to lie but he had to for the sake of protecting himself and Derek.

“Hey, I sent you that text about the takeaway.”

“Yeah I got it, how was your day?”

“Fine, solve any murders?”

The Sheriff gave him a look that shut him up as he grabbed his bag and headed upstairs to do essays he couldn’t care less about. His cell which remained silent bugged him to no end when he tossed it to the floor with a heavy sigh. It was frustrating as hell and he turned pressing his face into the pillow to groan loudly. His mind drifted back to it yet again and his cock twitched in interest remembering the rough but kind of gentle way he handled him. He was pining desperately but without a doubt it was Derek who had to make that first move to talk. 

~*~

Derek turned his head to the side and stroked his fingers over the mark Stiles had left him with a small sigh. It was red with a hint of purple and it would stand out for days until it faded. It had already raised questions within Cora and his group. Erica had been curious and prodded him about who the man or woman was whilst Isaac and Boyd remained unaffected for the most part. How could he tell them that he got drunk with a seventeen year old before they drunkenly made out and he gave him a blow job? It wouldn’t be the easiest conversation to have with them. It had been four days since he saw him last and his cell phone had blown up with texts from him. 

Derek responded back to him when he wanted to of course but they were short, almost snappy in words, and he didn’t know how to face him, not yet. His thoughts were distracted from him when the front door opened and Cora walked in looking troubled and confused. 

“Good day at school?” he called to her watching her expression tighten when she looked over to him. 

“No,” she replied dumping her bag on the floor and walking towards him. “I wanted to talk to you since you were gone all day yesterday. I saw something interesting yesterday as well, it could be coincidence, could not be, but I’m thinking that the Stilinski kid walking around school with similar hickeys to yours might be the answer.”

Derek cleared his throat as he looked away and turned heading into the kitchen instead of answering her.

“Tell me you didn’t,” she cried staring at him in outrage. 

“Why do you care?”

“Are you fucking stupid?!” she shouted at him instead of answering him. “He’s the Sheriff’s kid, he’s not just that he’s seventeen! That’s underage, Derek, if you don’t know that because your teeny tiny brain can’t figure that out.”

Derek clenched his jaw as he got a beer out of the fridge and uncapped it. “I don’t think you should interfere with my life when I don’t interfere in yours. You don’t think I don’t know that you sneak out at three am, I don’t question where you go at the weekends and come back reeking of sex and booze, Cora. I know what I’m doing…so don’t you have homework to do?”

Cora scoffed shaking her head at him and looked down at the hardwood floors before looking up to meet his eyes. 

“You told me when we moved here it would be a fresh start. This isn’t a fresh start. I’m doing what any other teenager would do but you? When are you going to stop loosing yourself in drugs, sex, and booze because you can’t forgive yourself for something that wasn’t your fault…both times? Acting like someone who isn’t you! Acting like you’re the new mister bad in this stupid town. If Laura knew…” 

Derek felt something snap inside of him when he gritted his teeth and threw the only thing in his hand hard at the wall. He saw out of the corner of his eye Cora flinch back when the glass shattered onto the floor and the beer soaked the bricks and floor. 

“She’d be disappointed,” Cora whispered before turning her back on him and walking upstairs. Derek swallowed hard watching her walk upstairs and tried his best to ignore the fact that there was hidden tears in her eyes. He hadn’t seen Cora cry in years and it left a painful hole in his chest when he stared down at the ground. 

There was a chime from his bed signalling a text message and he walked over to it to see one new message from Stiles. 

_“I want to see you again. It’s been four days dude. We need to talk!!!” – Stiles. 4.16pm._

Derek contemplated it as he tapped his phone against his hand before sending him a message back.

_“You’re right. Meet me at the old park bench right now.”_

_“Really??? Great! Okay.” – Stiles. 4.19pm._

Derek glanced up at where Cora was blasting music and grabbed his jacket and scarf to wrap around his neck before leaving the loft. It was remote where he wanted to meet, no witnesses, and he drove there instead of walked. The anger and pain bubbled in his chest and his hands clutched the wheel until he got there. He was agitated and impatient waiting for Stiles to arrive and after fifteen minutes he finally did. 

“Sorry it took so long, my dad…anyways,” Stiles said shaking his head and looking at him. “You…you look like crap, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he muttered facing him and feeling his throat tighten at the sight of him. It looked like they both had the same idea wearing scarves and he shoved his hands deep into his pockets. “You were right about needing to talk. What happened between us was a mistake, a drunken mistake, Stiles.” 

Stiles smiled at him sadly for a moment before nodding. “I knew you’d say that. I knew you’d call it a mistake, Derek, because why wouldn’t you? It didn’t feel like a mistake though, it felt really, really right and I don’t want to give up on that. I know you don’t either, not really.” 

“You’re seventeen.”

“You didn’t care about it when you bought me alcohol, you gave a cigarette, and then made out with me. You were my first,” Stiles admitted with a heavy sigh.

His stomach dropped at the four words when he looked up from where he was staring at the ground.

“What?”

“You were my first in…everything really. The kiss, the blow job, it was all my first. Well I had a kiss previous but it was with Scott in like fifth grade as a trial and it so, so, so didn’t count and a dare with a girl at some party I went to.”

Derek felt his mouth dry at that realisation and he walked a couple of feet away and licked his dry lips. Stiles sighed deeply as he tossed back his head to look at the sky before walking to stand in front of him. 

“I don’t want to give this up.”

“You’re not giving anything up when there’s nothing to give up!” he snapped glaring at him and pulling a packet out of his pocket desperately needing a cigarette. “It was a mistake, Stiles, I shouldn’t have done it.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Derek clenched his teeth together for a moment before lighting it and inhaling it deeply. It felt good to get his fix and he tensed when Stiles appeared in front of him invading his personal space and stared into his eyes. 

“You’re scared,” Stiles murmured. 

“I’m not scared of anything.”

“Liar, yes you are, I don’t have to know you well enough to know this scares the shit out of you. I don’t care about age, I don’t care what anyone says about you, and I only care about what I know.”

“That’s the problem, Stiles, you don’t know anything about me, not really, and you got drunk with me once and think you know me because we drunkenly made out? You’re just a kid living in a fascination,” he whispered stabbing at his head with his finger. 

Stiles flinched back from him, his eyes reflecting his hurt, but stubbornly stood his ground in front of him. 

“I know you’re living a complete fucking lie about who you really are. Hiding behind lie after lie after lie because you’d rather live like that.”

“Why does it matter to you?” he hissed pushing into his personal space. “We don’t even know each other.”

“We don’t have to! It’s called getting to know each other! Do you want my life story because I’ll happily give it to you, Derek!” 

“I don’t want anything from you,” he muttered looking into his eyes and wished he didn’t when he lost himself in them. “Just go, stop texting me, and move on with your life, Stiles.”

“That’s hilarious,” Stiles murmured before moving that extra step forward and tugging down his scarf to show him the marks on his neck. “You certainly weren’t holding back when you gave me these were you? You were practically screaming to the world that I’m yours!”

“I was drunk! You’re seventeen, you’re young, it was a drunken fumble, get over it,” Derek argued pushing him back so he stumbled glaring at him. “Stop texting me every fifteen minutes with the same useless shit! This is nothing, do you get that now?”

Derek didn’t bother waiting for a reply when he turned and walked away from him. He walked away from the hurt eyes shining back at him, the determined twitch in his jaw, and despite his words he knew Stiles wouldn’t give up. He brought out his cell and sent a text to Erica needing to drink and smoke till he forgot everything. His phone rang immediately after he sent the text.

“You disturbed us,” she said sounding a little breathless.

“I don’t really want to know, look can you come out or not?”

“Why? Are you not with that new lover boy of yours?”

“I don’t have a lover boy, I don’t have anyone.”

“Shame, you really need someone that’s not Isaac or some random guy or girl bouncing up and down on that dick of yours,” Erica muttered. “You need someone, stability.”

“Coming from the girl who fucked half the swim team in college?”

“I changed my ways, I met Boyd, and I’m no longer a teenager needing a quick fuck in the locker room or back of a car. What about you, have you changed your ways?”

Derek reached his car getting inside and stared out of the window reminding himself he didn’t hit women. “I don’t need to explain myself to you.” 

“You’re the one who text me! We can meet you at the pub and then we can go to town, I could do with a night out,” Erica muttered. “Boyd is up for it, we can get Isaac as well because he’s working so hard lately. The poor baby.”

“Fine, I’ll see you soon,” he said ending the call and tossing the cell into the passenger seat when he sped away from there. He was halfway home when his cell chimed with a message and he stared at it for a long moment before snatching it up. 

_“You’re like a Katy Perry song dude! Hot and cold. Plus you’re a terrible liar.” – Stiles. 5.15pm._

Derek hovered his thumb over the reply button before giving up and pocketing it instead. What use would it be if he replied after telling him not to text him anymore? The music was still blasting when he walked in to get changed and he sighed deeply shredding his clothes and pulling out the drawer under his bed. He pulled on everything black from his jeans, his t-shirt, and leather jacket. 

The bar wasn’t full when he got there but there was the regulars dotted around. They stared at him, the men watched him, the women whispered, and each one of them held their own opinion. It was funny really. They saw what he wore, his car, and what he did of a night and a weekend and he was the bad guy. Derek grinned at the women sitting in the corner watching him with narrowed eyes. He ordered three vodka shots and downed them all enjoying the burn. In the end though it didn’t get Stiles eye’s out of his head, the scent of his deodorant, his lips pink and kissable and the marks on his neck from no one else but him.

He was relieved when the doors blew open revealing Erica wearing skin tight jeans, heels, and a red top revealing her breasts in the best and honest way. There was a cat call from the drunken men that earned a scowl from Boyd and a wink from Erica. 

“What? It’s not like I’m playing into it!” Erica protested jabbing him in the side before reaching Derek and kissing his cheek. “You look gorgeous, I love you wearing that t-shirt, it shows off those abs and muscles. Where’s Isaac?”

“He said he’d be late,” Boyd answered for them shaking his cell before leaning against the bar and ordering their drinks. 

“So, really, what happened with that guy or was it just another drunken fuck?” she said sitting on the bar stool and tapping his hand with her nails.

“Drunken fuck,” he answered with a sniff refusing to meet her eye contact.

“Was there nothing you liked about him? Hell I’ve seen all of them and they have never left their mark even when you were drunk,” she said flicking his neck and pulling them back with a grin when he went to slap her hand. 

Derek looked at her unable to answer but the truth was he was everything he didn’t know he wanted. He was annoying, persistent, gorgeous, witty and clever, but a nightmare to keep up with half the time. He was everything Derek could want and could never have in the end. It was only right to push him away sooner rather than later. Erica sighed next to him knowing she wasn’t going to get her answer but perked up when her red wine arrived and kissed Boyd in thanks. Boyd smiled at her openly, a love just for her in his eyes when they parted, and he fought down the urge to punch something. 

“So I think drinks here and then we get a cab into town and get wasted!” she said licking her lips gently so not to smear her lipstick. 

“Sure,” Derek answered up for that and turned looking over his shoulder when the door opened and Isaac finally arrived. He looked flustered when he came over and leaned next to Erica. 

“I had a hard day, two sick cats, dog shat over me, and thankfully Deaton gave me the day off tomorrow so can we please, please, get seriously drunk?”

“Of course we can!” Erica cried kissing his cheek. “Drinks here and then we go. I say screw that it’s Tuesday!” 

Derek heartily agreed with that when drinks were ordered again and he drank his whiskey till his mind felt fuzzy around the edges. Erica was in charge as per usual when she ran the cab and they got in splitting the fare between them. The time passed when they walked to and fro looking for different clubs and bars before finding one that suited Erica and the others. 

“I had a pregnancy scare,” Erica whispered to him when they seated in the corner of the club they were currently in. The music was loud, the air sticky, and he looked at her in surprise. 

“What?”

“It was negative! Don’t worry, I’m not about to make you babysitter number one in our lives but it made me think…it’s serious with us!” she said looking over at Boyd and Isaac getting them drinks to see them talking. “One day we could have a family.”

“I thought that was what you wanted?”

“It is, you know it is, I love him, and I want a family with him but it’s just…scary.”

Derek hummed looking around. “Weren’t you the one pressuring me to get into a relationship?”

“I stick by that, relationships are awesome, sex, hanging out with each other, leaning something new, making each other laugh, smile, and we fight like a married couple but the makeup sex? It’s so much better than a one night stand,” Erica said honestly patting his cheek. “Ah there you are!”

Derek turned to see the others approaching them and went along with it when they did tequila shots and drank beer. His eyes travelled over the dozens of people and one caught his eyes. He was tall, slim but well built, and okay looking if he had to give an opinion. The guy noticed him looking and there was obvious interest there when he gave him a small smile before looking away.

“Oh look, he’s chosen his next victim,” Erica mock whispered leaning over to him with a grin. “He’s cute, a little dorky, but cute! Not your usual type.” 

“Yeah,” he muttered staring down at his drink before downing it. 

“Hey, want to share one?” Isaac muttered holding up a joint. 

Derek nodded as they got up and headed outside, his eyes lingering on the strange guy before they stepped out into the cold. Isaac lit it up taking a drag before handing it to him.

“Where did you get it?”

“Favour from a friend and I think we need it,” Isaac admitted blinking and looking up at the night sky. 

Derek agreed when they shared it till it burnt out and he felt calmer, more relaxed, and Isaac looked buzzed when he practically bounced back inside. The effects were different for everyone and he inhaled deeply when he walked back inside smelling sweat, booze, and the remnants of weed in the air. He bought a beer and stood at the bar with his eyes closed and turned when he felt someone knock into his arm. 

“Hey, I’m Ritchie,” a cool voice said with an edge of nervousness in his voice. It was the guy from before and Derek trailed his eyes up and down his body with what he hoped was a suggestive look. 

“Derek, should we go outside?” he said straight to the point and smirked when he nodded quickly. He led them outside and away from the crowd when they found a dark alleyway, the smell of the garbage penetrating the air. Derek didn’t waste any time when he kissed him hard shoving him against the wall. Ritchie’s fingers dug into his shoulders and back before he spun them around and Derek grunted hitting the wall. His long fingers opened his jeans to tug them down halfway before stroking his cock so it was hard for him.

His eyes squeezed close and his hands gripped his hair tight when he sucked him down. Everything felt amazing with the weed and alcohol in his system and he bit into his lip hard trying to fight back the one image of Stiles he didn’t want. His climax hit him unexpectedly when he spilled into Ritchie’s mouth and he sniffed deeply watching him spit next to him. 

“That was –” Ritchie started to say but was cut off when Derek covered his mouth with his hand giving him a hand job instead. He fisted him till he brought him off and Ritchie slumped forward breathing hard.

“Wow!”

“Yeah,” Derek muttered wiping the hand against the wall. 

“We can bring this back to my place, if you want, I’m only out because of my friend’s promotion?”

“No thanks,” Derek murmured patting his arm before he walked away. 

“Are you serious?!” he called after him when he walked away heading back to the bar. Derek ignored the swearing that was currently coming from Ritchie and walked away from the bar deciding to head home. The cab back was what brought him down and he felt hungry and remorseful. 

He knew he stunk of everything bad and paid the cabbie extra for putting up with him when they arrived back at the loft. It was quiet when he got in kicking off his shoes and stripping off his jacket. Derek grabbed a bottle of water and drank it down before heading to the bathroom to wash up and brush his teeth. He felt queasy when he slipped under the covers and stared up at the ceiling. The calmness and side effects had faded quickly inside of him and he turned when a pad of footsteps came towards him. 

“I’m sorry,” Cora whispered perching on the end of the bed. 

“You were right.”

“No, I wasn’t, you’re right about interfering in each other’s personal lives, and I – I just want a fresh start, for us to be happy,” Cora admitted honestly. 

Derek swallowed hard tasting mint mixed with whiskey and pushed up to look at her.

“Do you like him?”

“I don’t even know him.”

“Yes you do, he’s the Sheriff’s kid. Stiles Stilinski, he threw a paint bomb at dad’s car and it exploded everywhere. He burst into tears and wouldn’t stop crying until his dad came to pick up. I remember that well because mom was furious but she wouldn’t show it.”

“Yeah…” he whispered looking at the empty side of his bed. “I don’t know how I feel but all I know is I want sleep right now.” 

Cora nodded wrapping her arms around her body and tugging at her sweater as she stood up. “This is probably hypocritical from what I said before but he could be good for you. Stiles is...I’d say positive, happy, upbeat, and you…you’re not. He’s like the light to your dark.”

Derek raised an eyebrow at her when she shrugged walking away and heading back up the stairs to bed. His lips were dry when he licked them falling back into the mattress with a heavy sigh. Sleep looked far away for now and he hated the twisty feeling in his stomach when he thought of her words. Little sisters sucked. 

~*~

“You look seriously glum dude, is everything okay?” Scott said over Skype.

“I’m fine, shitty end to a shit day,” Stiles said honestly leaning against his headboard and glanced at his window. “Are you going to talk at me about Allison because dude I love you but I just…”

“No, hey, no, I’ll keep shut about her just once,” he replied with a smile. “We can talk about something else, no love, no relationships, but you could do something for me?”

“What?” Stiles questioned folding his arms over his chest. 

“Help me with my algebra?” he pleaded holding up two math books with a puppy dog pleading look. “Please? I’ll owe you!”

Stiles sighed deeply glancing at the time but relented hoping it would take everything off his mind to help him out. He wasn’t over aggravating when he said it had been a shitty day with a shitty end. He expected Derek to tell him it was a mistake but the harshness with him had been one brutal kick to the stomach. It left him feeling small and unwanted as he stood in the field watching him walk away from him. 

The problem was it hadn’t diverted him and he wasn’t expecting Derek to be so open about it. He wasn’t delusional and despite everything probably wanted him more than ever. 

“Okay, fine, let’s do algebra that will never ever help us in real life,” Stiles said with a mock smile straightening up and let himself for one night forget. He’d deal with it tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for comments and kudos. It means a lot. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

The branches whipped at him when he ran through the woods, the scent of ash and burning wood filling his nostrils when he ran away from it. Their screaming echoed in his ears when his feet hit the ground, the branches cracking, the leaves crackling, and he felt sick. Every time he turned he could see it, the fire roaring through his childhood home, the screams of his family burning inside there and doing nothing to get them out. There was a tugging at his hand when he turned to stare at it before looking up to see Laura staring at him, her eyes expressionless, her lips a pale blue, and pain written into her features. 

“It’s your fault,” she whispered over and over again so it slammed into him when he ripped his hand away running. “It’s your fault, Derek! _IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!”_

Her screaming echoed in his ears when he tripped falling to the ground only to open his eyes breathing hard and instead of seeing the forest floor he saw the ceiling. Derek panted as he sat up staring around and moving the damp covers off him when he sat on the edge of the bed. His head was cradled in his hands when he tried to breathe and blinked away the tears in his eyes. Nightmares plagued him almost every night. It was near the beginning when he would wake up screaming and had a terrified Cora trying to calm him down. 

He swore never to do that again and most nights she never came to his aid. Derek wiped his face gingerly when he stood heading into the kitchen to get a drink. The cool air from the fridge swept over his bare skin and he uncapped a bottle drinking it down. His eyes shut and he could feel the itch of tiredness behind his eyes. It was two am when he glanced at the clock and headed back to the bed to pick up his cell and saw one new message from Stiles from midnight. 

_“Day from hell! I know you said not to text you but I still don’t care. I can’t sleep, too many Adderall, again, I’ll never learn. Hope you’re not dead.” – Persistent Ass. 12.03am._

Derek sighed deeply as he laid back and stared at it for a long moment. It had been a total of five days now since he pushed him away in the park and he hadn’t seen him since. He chose to stay indoors, eat, drink, workout, and read the books he had been pushing back. In reality he craved company that others would not give. Isaac was too busy working, Erica and Boyd were a couple and acted like a couple too busy to do anything but each other, and Cora had her own life. 

_“Why would I be dead?”_

Derek regretted the moment he sent it and sighed deeply tossing it onto the opposite pillow and closed his eyes. The message chime stunned him when he looked at his phone and saw one new message from him. 

_“You’re alive! No, before you ask you didn’t wake me up, pulling an all-nighter and reading up on myths and legends is fun! Why are you awake???” – Persistent Ass. 2.34am._

_“Nightmares.”_

The reply took longer this time and he glanced at his cell continuously till it grew annoying. He was actually relieved when it chimed.

_“Want to talk about it? I have nightmares as well.” – Persistent Ass. 2.46am._

Derek didn’t but he almost kind of did at the same time. His eyes flew to the clock as he sat up and dwelled on the constant and niggling thought in his mind. It would be hypocritical of him and Stiles may call him out on it but he was one for spontaneous doings. 

_“Not like this. How good are you at sneaking out unnoticed?”_

_“Are you asking me to get out of the house to meet you? I can totally do that!” – Persistent Ass. 3.01am._

_“Yes, I am asking you to do that. I want you to meet me at the corner of your street. Wrap up warm.”_

Derek sighed softly as he climbed out of the bed and pulled on warm clothes, a t-shirt, jeans, and pulled on a warm sweater over it. It was from Cora who bought it for him and he swore to never wear it but in this cold weather it was needed. He crept up the metal stairs and peered over the top to see her still in bed and fast asleep to his relief. The door was locked behind him when he walked downstairs and walked outside. It was freezing in the worst way when he got into the car shivering. 

The drive to Stiles street didn’t take long when he pulled up and noticed the figure jumping up and down on the spot before getting in. Stiles glanced at him when he buckled up and Derek drove them away. 

“It’s been what…five days since I saw you. This is one hell of a way to see each other again.”

“You’re the one who suggested it.”

“No, you’re the one who said can I sneak out! It was easy by the way, my dad is a heavy sleeper when he’s had a drink. He’s also got an early morning shift at six so won’t even notice I’m gone. I put pillows under the cover just in case.” 

Derek kept his silence when Stiles fiddled glancing at him and away again. 

“Why did you ask me? You’ve barely spoken to me all week and you told me I was a drunken mistake and to stay away.”

“You didn’t listen.”

“Why would I? I know what I want,” Stiles admitted staring at the side of his face. “You have nightmares?”

“Yes,” Derek muttered clenching the wheel harder. 

“So do I, I’ve had them since I was a kid, well since my mom died, what about you?”

“Since my family died.”

“What are your nightmares?” Stiles murmured turning his body towards him. 

“What are yours?” he asked instead looking over at him. 

Stiles swallowed hard before answering him. “I dream about my mom. I dream about the night she died. I was the one holding her hand and I’m holding it so tight, so, so, tight and when I look at her she’s staring at me with these cold dead eyes. I try and close them but they won’t and her hand grips mine back and she won’t let me go. She…she says the cancer ripping through her body is my fault and…well you get the basics. I wake up and I’m too scared to sleep.”

There was an uncomfortable feeling lodged in his chest when he stopped the car by the side of the road and turned his head to look at him. 

“You don’t believe it do you?”

“No, cancer is no one’s fault, but sometimes it feels like it when my dad looks at me. I look like her apparently and I know it hurts my dad to look.” 

“I remember her, I remember Claudia, she was nice, funny but sweet,” he murmured looking out of the side window. 

“What about you? Quid pro quo dude!”

Derek was silent for a long moment before stopping the car and getting out. He heard Stiles’ splutter when he joined him. 

“What are you doing?”

“Fancy coming for a walk?”

“What? In…in there?” Stiles muttered pointing in the woods. “Are you serious?”

“What you so scared of?” Derek teased raising an eyebrow at him and watching as he slammed the car door shut and moved to stand by his side.

“Nothing, just wondering when you became a freak who liked to walk in the woods in the middle of the night,” Stiles mumbled following after him when Derek started to walk forward. 

Derek was used to the woods and knew his way around and Stiles kept close enough as they walked to the place that he wanted. It took its time but he eventually found it and look out over Beacon Hills covered in lights.

“Whoa,” Stiles murmured by his side. “I’ve been here once or twice but never come across this. I guess I wasn’t looking.”

“It’s exactly like I remember it,” Derek muttered more to himself then to Stiles who looked up at him in interest. It was cold but he could barely feel it when he moved and sat down near the edge. He could feel Stiles’ eyes on him before he sat down close to him and stared out.

“It’s awesome,” he whispered in agreement. “Are you going to tell me now?”

“What do you know about me, Stiles?” he said after a long minute of silence. 

“Honestly? Not a lot. You’re like a closed book man. I know the little things, your family died in a fire, you moved away, you came back, and…everyone hates you enough to warn me away.” 

“Yet you ignore it.”

“Yep!” Stiles said with a bob of his head. “You’re a bad liar, you hide your true self.”

“You’re so sure of that.”

Stiles hummed in agreement nudging him. “So…your nightmares?”

“I dream about the fire, that’s all you need to know.”

“So you got me out of my warm bed at three am to drag me into the middle of the woods in minus temperatures I might add to tell me something I already know?! Who wouldn’t have nightmares of something so horrific happening to them?!” Stiles cried with a scoff hitting his shoulder. “I mean come on.”

“Yes,” Derek agreed. 

“Maybe if we do this often enough you’ll tell me the real reason of your nightmare.”

Derek blinked squinting at the lights and didn’t answer him. They stayed in somewhat comfortable silence staring out over Beacon Hills until Stiles yawned shifting closer to him and resting his head on his shoulder. The motion was small and innocent enough but it still made something deep within him curl up in warmth. He didn’t shrug him off though and let it happen when he stared out, Stiles’ body temperature warming him, and his breathing soft and soothing next to his ear. 

It felt comfortable and necessary to tilt his head towards him and rest his cheek on top of his hair. The smell of his shampoo, a mix of berries filled his senses, and he inhaled it deeply without complaint. His eyes felt heavy when he got comfortable and his eyes drifted close listening to the wind rustle the leaves on the ground, Stiles’ breathing next to him, and he let it overwhelm him. 

~*~

Stiles was comfortable, his dreams nothing more than a blank page, but his body felt stiff from the cold. He cursed himself for leaving the window open but something felt different, his pillow firmer, the smell of a familiar cologne clouding his senses, and birds tweeting in the distance. It was a shock to blink his eyes open to see trees ahead of him and his cheek pressed into the shoulder of Derek who was asleep also. Stiles was honestly speechless when he looked at Derek and himself in surprise. His body curled towards him, Derek’s arm holding him against his body, and they were currently sleeping outdoors. The sky already light meaning it must be around eight or nine in the morning. 

“What…” Stiles murmured shifting a little to sit up and stare around. “Derek!”

Derek grunted rubbing his face with his hand adorably before opening his eyes and staring at him in confusion. His eyes narrowed before he shot up looking around and sucked in a breath. 

“Oh…”

“We fell asleep,” Stiles murmured sniffing deeply and shivering when the cold settled into his bones now that Derek’s warmth disappeared. “I never imagined to be doing that with you. Fucking hell.”

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep, I just…rested my head,” Derek mumbled glancing at him and away looking guilty and uncomfortable. 

“Whatever it happened, we took a nap in the woods, fancy getting coffee?” Stiles mumbled as he stood up and groaned stretching out his body conscious of Derek watching him. 

“Sure,” he mumbled before doing the same. “Wait, come here.”

Stiles did as he asked and paused feeling him pick a dead leaf of out of his hair. It left a fuzzy feeling in him when Derek gave him a once over before walking away first. Their relationship was up and down at the moment and he honestly didn’t know if he was coming and going with him. One minute Derek was telling him to stay away and forget and the next they’re sitting in the woods and falling asleep there and then. 

Stiles was relieved to get into the car and the heater turned on when Derek drove them to a diner to get some coffee and hopefully breakfast. 

“Will your dad not be worried?”

“Nope, he never checks on me, he’ll never know I’m gone,” Stiles admitted looking at the time. “Thank god it’s Sunday, I’d be so late for school.”

Derek grunted in agreement which caused him to smile at him. 

“Not a fan of mornings?”

“Not a fan of people who constantly talk. I will kick you out of this car and leave you.”

Stiles mimed zipping his lips and leaned back into the seat and letting him drive them to a diner he didn’t know. Derek was frowning when they got out of the car to go inside. It was quiet inside apart from the odd customer. It smelt of coffee and batter to his surprise and the seats were a cherry red when he slid in and faced Derek. 

“I, um, you have a dirt mark…” Stiles pointed to his cheek before handing him a napkin so he could attack and clean it. “So romp in the woods and breakfast afterwards? You know how to treat a guy.”

“We didn’t romp in the woods.”

“Fine, cuddled, napped, fell asleep wrapped around each other like a burrito, it doesn’t matter!” 

“Stiles, please shut up,” Derek insisted handing him the menu with a glare. 

“So sexy,” Stiles whispered with a smug grin looking down at it when Derek huffed. 

The waitress took their orders for coffee and a round of bacon and toast. Stiles hummed as he leaned forward.

“That sleep was the best you know, I had no dreams.”

“Same,” Derek murmured wiping his hands. 

“We fixed each other.”

“You think?”

“I think for a few hours we did…yeah, I think so. You’re like a Katy Perry song you know, I wasn’t lying when I texted you that. You’re hot and cold and then you’re yes then you’re no.”

“Shut up,” Derek insisted tilting his head back and closing his eyes. 

“That’s never going to happen,” Stiles muttered and smiled when the waitress came over looking bored and tired herself putting down the coffees before walking away. He dropped three sugars into it before taking a sip. It was the explosion on his tongue that he needed as he moaned in pleasure. His eyes closed as he relished it and opened it to see Derek staring at him with a storm brewing in his eyes.

“What?” he questioned innocently.

“Do you have to moan like that?”

“What? It was a moan of pure ecstasy because I love coffee in the morning,” Stiles muttered leaning forward and smirking when Derek swallowed looking away. “You know I can moan louder than that for something that is not coffee.”

Stiles watched in keen interest when Derek licked his lips and exhaled shakily not looking at him. The smug pride lit up in his chest and he watched the seams that covered Derek as a protective shield slowly unravel just for him. His stomach rumbled when the bacon and toast arrived and he eagerly tucked into it.

“So, do you work?”

“What?”

“Work, you know nine to five, mediocre salary?” Stiles questioned chewing his food slowly.

“No, I have life insurance and a family inheritance to cover me off for a good few years.”

“Don’t you want to spend that on something meanwhile?”

“No, I have a loft, a car, and you really think someone is going to hire me in this town?” Derek muttered raising an eyebrow at him. “I have to support my sister, pay the rent, pay the bills, otherwise we’re out on our ass and I don’t have a job.” 

Stiles stared at him for a quiet moment before nodding and digging into his breakfast. It was silent between them when they ate and he was stuffed by the end when he sat back cupping his stomach.

“Shit, that was good,” he muttered drinking his coffee. “If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?”

“Why?”

“I want to get to know you,” Stiles admitted honestly. 

“Anywhere but here, somewhere that no one knows me, my own little island.”

“Why don’t you?”

“Because this isn’t a film or a fantasy or a programme about how dreams can come true. I need somewhere stable for my sister. We’ve got each other and that’s it.”

“Maybe one day?” 

Stiles let the smile slip from his lips when Derek narrowed his eyes and raised his hand to pay the bill. He breathed out slowly and stood up wiping his hands when Derek got his change and moved when Derek’s hand pressed into his lower back to move him along. The wind blew around them chilly when they stepped outside and headed to the car.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Stiles said turning towards him and halting when he went to open the car door. “I just want to…”

“What?”

Stiles’ courage must have come from hell when he leaned in and kissed him chastely. His hands resting against his stomach feeling Derek stiffen in surprise before he relaxed almost immediately kissing him back. He could have died there and then happy enough when he pushed him back against the car trailing his tongue across his bottom lip before pushing it into his mouth. He moaned when Derek’s fingers trailed over his lower back scratching into the skin. His mind felt like it was on cloud nine when they parted for breath, his lips tingling in the best way, and he stared into his eyes.

“Screw the rules, screw what’s right and wrong, screw everything,” Stiles muttered desperately bringing his hands up his chest slowly to cup his neck. “Just screw me.”

Derek didn’t say anything when he brought him back in, his hand cupping the back of his skull and into his hair. His lips a constant pressure against his was all he could have wanted. Stiles groaned against said lips when Derek hiked him up so he was sitting on the bonnet of his car. 

“Fuck,” Stiles whispered when he kissed him harder to the point that he thought his lips could bruise. It was their first sober kiss and Stiles couldn’t have wished for anything better when he pulled away to breathe. Derek kissing his neck when he looked up at the blue sky, the sun warm but not enough to make it hot, and he sensed someone watching them.

“Derek,” he whispered nodding at the diner as they both turned to see the waitress and the customers watching them make out. “Good job no one knows us otherwise we’d be screwed in this porn show.”

“Come on,” Derek insisted tugging him down as they got into the car. 

“I don’t want to go home.”

“You can come to the loft.”

“What about Cora?”

“She knows,” Derek answered as they drove out there, the wheels squealing as they went back to Beacon Hills. 

“What? Oh my god!” Stiles exclaimed staring at him. “What did she say?”

“What do you think?”

“Judgement?”

“Yes,” Derek answered with a nod. “But it’s changed. She can’t control me, I can’t control her, and it looks like I can’t even control myself.”

Stiles fought down the smile threatening to come out when he sat back and watched the passing sights until they got to the building. Stiles followed after him feeling a bubble of nervousness in his chest when Derek opened the door and slid it open. 

“Come on,” Derek urged pushing him gently inside.

“Hey, where the hell have you been?” Cora said from inside before pausing and raising an eyebrow at the pair of them. “I should have said who you’ve been with.”

“We took a nap in the woods,” Stiles explained with a shrug watching Derek walk away into the kitchen before looking at Cora wearing sweats and a jumper, her long hair pulled back, and despite the lack of expression there was amusement dancing in her eyes. 

“Sex in the woods? Seriously?” Cora questioned Derek who rolled his eyes at her.

“No, we didn’t,” he answered drinking from the bottle of juice. 

“Not yet,” Cora muttered with a smirk dodging when he went to kick her. “Whatever, try to keep it in your pants while I’m here, got it?”

Stiles felt like his heart was in her throat when she passed smirking at him before climbing up the stairs. 

“Why do I feel terrified?”

“She won’t say anything or better yet do anything.”

“You’re both terrifying,” Stiles muttered coming to a conclusion when he walked over to him and sat on his bed. “So what do we do now?”

“We keep it in our pants,” Derek muttered lifting his eyes to the ceiling when Cora started to blast music. Stiles pressed his lips together both in amusement and a hint of arousal when he shoved him into the bed.

“I can do that, I don’t know about you though,” he murmured trailing his eyes up and down him. “Sex in the woods? Is that something you’ve done before?”

“Why do you care?”

“Because I do, have you?” Stiles questioned pushing up onto his elbows when Derek knelt between his thighs, his fingers stroking down his t-shirt, and shook his head.

“No, I’ve never had sex in the woods.”

“Where’s the worst place?”

“Why are you so curious?”

“Because I am!” Stiles asked sitting up and invading his personal space. “Do I need to sing, The King and I, you know that song…getting to know you?”

“Please don’t,” Derek insisted.

“I have a beautiful singing voice!” Stiles lied and snorted when Derek rolled his eyes shoving him back down into the mattress. “Come on, tell me.”

“Back alleys, toilets in dirty bars that stink of piss and weed because all I want is a quick fuck. They’re the worst places.”

“The best place?” Stiles whispered.

“I don’t have one.”

“Neither do I,” he muttered gripping at his waist. “Do you reckon we can change that?”

“Not with our pants on,” Derek whispering kissing the shell of his ear and Stiles couldn’t stop the bubble of laughter which escaped him. 

“We should go back to the woods, return to our roots,” Stiles murmured and hummed when he kissed him. “Am I going to leave here and have you push me away again?”

Stiles searched his face when he pushed him back and waited for an answer. “Am I just a fuck and run again, well not fuck, but you get the idea?”

He watched as Derek straightened sitting back and Stiles sighed as he joined him sitting up. 

“I don’t know what you want from me.”

“I want you to stop treating me like a yo-yo,” Stiles said watching him stand up and stretch out. “When you want me you reel me in, when you don’t you throw me away. It’s not good for me. I know what I want and I’m not putting up with your bullshit.” 

Derek remained quiet and stoic in front of him till he huffed standing on the bed and wrapping his arms around his neck staring down at him. He paused when he heard Cora come down the stairs holding up her hands.

“I’m off out, try and not stink the place out,” she said taking her coat and slamming the door closed behind her. 

“Well?” Stiles murmured softly leaning into him and closing his eyes when his hands pushed up under his t-shirt to touch the skin underneath. “What’s the worst that can happen?”

It wasn’t answered and he wasn’t surprised when Derek pushed at his legs so he collapsed against the bed and groaned muffled when he kissed him hard. Stiles didn’t know if his mouth could open any wider when he gripped his shoulders tight when they kissed and Derek was a heavy warm weight against him. 

“Shit, fuck!” Stiles cried out when he kissed and bit his throat. “Derek, please.”

His begging was answered when yanked at his jeans tugging them down with his underwear and quickly did the same to his. Stiles watched fascinated when he wrapped his hand around both of their cocks fisting them at the same time.

“Oh fuck!” Stiles hissed before reaching up to grip the back of his neck and kiss him. His lips fitting against his and he panted eagerly when Derek jerked them both off quick and urgently. 

“Are you close?” Derek urged staring into his eyes.

“Yeah, fuck, yeah,” he whispered nodding eagerly and crying out when his climax hit. He watched in fascination when Derek hit it as well and felt his come splatter his t-shirt. 

“Wow,” Stiles muttered and kissed the corner of his mouth before Derek tucked him and himself away and rolled onto his back. 

He stared down at his t-shirt with a wrinkle of his nose trying to regain his breath and calm his heart down. He never had that before and it was intense enough to want it again. Stiles glanced over to him to see Derek staring up at the ceiling and rolled onto his side to watch him. 

“Don’t tell me this is it and to go home.”

“I’m not telling you to go home.” 

“Can I come back?”

Derek gave him a sidelong glance before nodding. Stiles smiled faintly before rolling off the bed and heading into the bathroom to get cleaned up. His top was ruined when he tugged it off and sighed before tossing it into the basket and walking out to see Derek on his feet. He didn’t even have to ask when a grey top was thrown at him and he pulled it on sniffing it interested. 

“You sure?”

“It suits you.”

“It’s a little big on me but who cares?” Stiles muttered pulling out his cell to see one new message from Scott asking him to come around. “I better go, if I text you will you text back?”

“I make no promises.”

“Asshole,” Stiles said with a nod moving into his personal space and press a kiss to his lips. Derek kissed him back before pulling back to nod in approval and push him gently away. Stiles left the loft with a smile permanent on his face and headed to Scott’s with a smug happiness within him. 

~*~

Derek sucked on the end of his cigarette as he relaxed on his bed and turned his head when the door slid open to reveal Cora.

“I’m amazed it doesn’t reek of sex in here,” she said hanging her coat up.

“We didn’t have sex.”

“Seriously?” Cora muttered in surprise grabbing a soda can and hopping onto the bed and sitting cross legged when she faced him. “You must really like him.”

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to say anything, it’s your actions that speak louder than your words. It’s more meaningful. You usually fuck them and it’s done,” she said popping the cap and taking a sip. “You do don’t you?”

Derek refused to answer her choosing the count the bricks up ahead instead. He grimaced when she pinched his foot and looked at her instead. 

“Tell me!”

“I don’t know how I feel about him, okay? I don’t know. He’s…he’s insistent and…Stiles is like – he’s…” he said trailing off and shaking his head.

“I get it, he’s the chilli to your fries, the sugar to your coffee.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Derek muttered raising an eyebrow at her in question. 

“Look it’s been a week, maybe more, right? You still haven’t had sex with him and I saw the way you looked at him.”

“You saw nothing.”

“I saw everything, I’m not stupid, and I want you to be happy. You’re a fucking idiot if you let this go,” she said smacking his leg hard before getting up to watch the television. 

Derek scrubbed his hands down his face before heading into the kitchen to make him some food for the both of them. His phone buzzed with a message and he blinked in surprise to see it was from Isaac, not Stiles. 

_“I’m coming around in ten! I need a pick me up. – Isaac. 3.25pm._

“Hey, can you do me a favour and go the store?” he called to Cora who sighed turning towards him.

“For what?”

Derek opened the fridge and cupboard. “Food.”

“Fine,” she muttered standing up and pulling on her coat and held her hand out for his card. Derek watched her leave and leaned back against the counter waiting for Isaac to arrive. The buzzer went signalling his arrival when he pulled open the door and raised an eyebrow when he brushed past taking off his jacket. 

“Pick me up?” Derek questioned folding his arms over his chest. 

“I didn’t mean drugs,” Isaac muttered with a snort of laughter before pulling him towards him and kissing him. 

Derek grunted kissing him back and moved with him when Isaac started to push his clothes off. His mind went into alarm bells to his horror and surprise before pulling away and pushing him back. 

“Whoa, what the hell?” Isaac demanded staring at him. 

“I, uh, I can’t, I can’t do this.”

“Why?” Isaac questioned with a laugh. “You’ve never turned me down before. It’s sex, it’s not serious.”

“That was then, this is now, and…there’s someone else.”

“You’re settling down?”

“No,” Derek protested shaking his head. “But I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do it to him.”

“It’s a guy? Why you’re growing up, Derek,” Isaac muttered adjusting his jacket and shrugging. “I guess I’ll have to move on elsewhere. Who is it?”

“No one you know.”

“He must be pretty special,” Isaac said with a smirk and turned heading to the door. “See you later then.”

Derek looked over his shoulder watching him leave before wiping his mouth and grabbing his cell. 

_“Think you can skip school tomorrow?”_

_“Think so, why???” – Persistent Ass. 3.40pm._

_“Wait and see, get here for nine thirty.”_

_“I think this is the first time you’ve text me first. Am I dreaming? Whatever, I’ll be there!” – Persistent Ass. 3.43pm._

He changed his name from his little nickname back to “Stiles” before dropping it on the side and a part of him hated that he let him change him bit by bit in just a week. He was fine a week ago and now he was pushing away an easy lay and letting Stiles into his life. It was frustrating as hell and it was only going to get so much worse.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos! You're awesome.

Stiles was without a doubt an excited but nervous mess when he sent a message to Scott telling him he wouldn’t be in and to cover his ass. He prayed the school didn’t contact his dad about him being missing that day when he drove to Derek’s and parked hiding the car from view. He got into the building easy enough and blinked in surprise when the door opened for him. 

“Are you psychic?” Stiles teased greeting him with a wave. “Plus I’m five minutes later, sorry, I woke up late.”

“It’s fine,” Derek said closing the door behind him and pulling him in to kiss him. Stiles squeaked his surprise but happily kissed him back tasting his mouthwash and pulling away with a small smile. 

“Exactly what I needed, hello,” Stiles murmured trailing his eyes up and down him before they parted and Derek headed into the kitchen before handing him a coffee. “You went out and got these? Plus doughnuts! Holy shit, did you get hit with some sort of spell?”

Stiles picked one out of the bag staring at him in surprise before biting into the iced doughnut with a hum. It was an explosion of sugar on his tongue when he chewed it hungrily enough.

“You really know how to spoil a guy!” he exclaimed finishing it in five bites before drinking his coffee. “So…where are we going or better yet what are we doing so I’m skipping school all day? Does it involve a bed and no clothing?” 

Derek smirked as he shook his head picking up his own coffee. “We have all the time in the world for sex, Stiles.”

“Says the non-virgin standing in front of me.”

“You’ll lose that, I promise you,” Derek murmured with intent in his eyes that made something in Stiles stomach flip and his heart beat in excitement for losing his virginity. “But for today, no, we’re going out.”

“Where?”

“Somewhere, you’ll have to wait and see.” 

“Spontaneity, I like it,” Stiles mused eyeing him carefully when he drank the coffee and watched Derek get ready pulling on his jacket and wrapped a blue scarf around his neck. Stiles reached out stroking the soft material between his fingers and leaned in when Derek kissed him. 

“Can we not just spend the day in bed?” Stiles murmured against his lips and closed his eyes with a weak moan when Derek huffed a laugh. 

“No, come on,” Derek muttered pulling completely away from him and leading him out of the loft. Stiles pouted trailing after him when they headed outside and got into his car and he drank the last drags of his coffee. 

“Did your dad say anything?”

“Nope he doesn’t know anything but Scott…Scott is suspicious. He knows something is up and I hate lying to him!” 

“Why don’t you tell him?”

“Are you kidding me? Scott is protective, he’s my best buddy, and if he knew I was…well not seeing you but like making out with you on occasion then he’d freak out. He thinks your bad news and not good enough for me.” 

“Him and the whole town,” Derek muttered with a dry snort. “I’m already defiling you.”

“Hey, my own decisions, one day of missing school is not going to kill me, and neither is some alcohol and cigarettes…well not yet.”

“They won’t think that, they’ll think I’m soliciting a minor, taking advantage of a bright, young, and vulnerable mind just waiting for college and I’m ruining you,” Derek muttered giving him a sidelong glance and smirking when Stiles flipped him off.

“My life, my choices, my body, and my mind. They can’t control me and you can’t control me. I’m here because I want to be, Derek, if I didn’t want to be I would have went to school. Now…are you going to tell me where you’re taking me?”

Derek was silent as he licked his lips and pressed the pedal down going faster and didn’t answer him. Stiles huffed as he sat back and fought down the urge to hit him for being a silent asshole but knew he had to get used to that. The drive was long when he stared out at the passing sights. The bare trees, winter in every corner from the dampness on the ground, to the bitter wind hitting the car, and Stiles had a niggling feeling in the back of his mind.

“Seriously, where are we going?”

“The beach.”

“What?” Stiles demanded straightening up and raising his eyebrows at him. “Are you…are you insane?! Who goes to the beach in January! It’s freezing out there.”

“Exactly, cold weather, no one will be around, and why not go to the beach in the winter? Why is the beach only for the summer?”

“For a suntan!” Stiles exclaimed looking out of the window and at Derek in surprise and confusion. “You’re – you’re mad.”

“You think?” Derek questioned looking calm and almost amused.

“Fuck,” Stiles breathed shaking his head and laughed shaking his head. “Well I guess it’s not the stupid cinema were we sit in silence for two hours and our hands brush in the popcorn.”

“There’s nothing on in the cinema.”

“Nice and normal isn’t in your vocabulary,” Stiles muttered turning his head to look at him and fighting down his grin. “Fine, the beach, are we going to roll around in the sand together?”

“It’ll get everywhere,” Derek murmured. “Sand in every hole of our body.”

“Bring it on,” Stiles muttered honestly looking up at the sun coming out and had to admit it wasn’t as bad as he thought. The drive there was long and boring until Derek found a parking spot and parked sitting back. Stiles hummed as he looked ahead and looked out at the beach. 

“So are we going to sit here twiddling our thumbs or…?” Stiles muttered and smirked when Derek rolled his eyes as they climbed out of the car. “Fuck! It’s cold, who goes to the beach in January, like seriously, no one does this but you. I know this is California but it’s ridiculous.”

“You’re wrapped up warm, stop complaining,” Derek said walking ahead but not fast enough to lose him when Stiles caught up to him. 

It wasn’t as a bad as he thought it would be when they eventually hit the sand and Stiles stared out at the ocean. It was blue, huge, and completely unknown. The wind was strong when it battled over them and he inhaled the smell of the sea water and wet sand. The nostalgia for summer hit him when he folded his arms over his chest and glanced at Derek doing the same when he stared out. 

“Do you come here a lot?”

“I’ve not been here in years,” Derek replied softly looking down to kick the soft sand. “The last time was when I was just a teenager. It was during summer.”

“With your family?”

“Yeah, we came for the day, took everyone, made a barbeque when the sun went down, and cooked meat. It was good,” Derek said wistfully before inhaling deeply and looking into the distance. “While it lasted.” 

“So this is memory road?”

“No, it’s the only beach I know, and it’s better than sitting in a park.”

“What no walks in the park holding hands and spouting love poems?” Stiles said feigning horror when he clasped his chest and grinned when Derek shoved him hard. “Look we’re here now and we have a whole day together so let’s make sand castles and go in the water.” 

“You think you’re funny but you’re not,” Derek said facing him with a look of indifference. 

“I think I’m hilarious and you like it so much you’re dying for more,” Stiles called over his shoulder when he walked down the length of the beach. Derek caught up to him eventually as they continued walking till they found a sand dune to sit down on. Stiles shivered when the wind blew over them but found warmth when he leaned into Derek and they shared a cigarette. 

“Favourite colour?” Stiles said glancing at him.

“What?”

“You heard me, don’t laugh! I want to get to know the real Derek Hale, so come on, tell me your favourite colour.”

“Black,” Derek answered passing him the cigarette.

“Like your soul?”

“Yes, like my soul, what about you?” Derek answered flatly when Stiles chuckled brushing the sand out of his eyes. 

“Mix between red, purple, and green. I have my odd days. What’s your favourite film?”

“I don’t know. I liked men in black when I was younger and…I guess the star wars films are okay.”

“Holy shit, we’re like soul mates, well apart from men in black because that was lame but star wars is awesome! Superhero films, Harry Potter films are just…the best! Plus…Lord of the Rings.”

“No,” Derek objected shaking his head.

“What?!” Stiles demanded staring at him. “You don’t like Lord of the Rings?!”

“No, I don’t, stop it,” he muttered shoving at his shoulder when Stiles grabbed a handful of sand throwing it at him. 

“What is wrong with you? We have to change that, lord of the rings is awesome, I think that’s when I had my first gay crush on Aragorn. He’s hot,” Stiles admitted honestly sucking on the end of the cigarette and staring up at the sky when he exhaled. “Okay, favourite food and drink?”

“Steak and beer.”

“Stereotypical man,” Stiles muttered with a smirk when Derek glared at him. “God, okay, well mine is curly fries because they’re sent from heaven and I have to say Mountain Dew is awesome. Do you have it rare, medium rare, or well done?”

“Medium rare, bit of blood gives it that little bit of kick,” Derek admitted with a satisfied nod.

“Oh my god, you animal!” Stiles mock whispered. “Favourite season?”

“Winter.”

“Autumn, not too hot, not too cold, just right.” 

“I thought you liked summer?” Derek questioned raising an eyebrow at him. 

“I do. It’s summer break meaning no school, beach, drinking, parties, and chilling all summer when I can sit around the house naked when my dad isn’t in and walk around without a top on giving everyone sun glare from my pasty chest.”

Stiles glanced over to him to see interest shining in his eyes and hid a smile when he passed it back to him. 

“Okay, favourite book?”

“I don’t read often.”

“Same. Well comic books and I really like mythology when I get the right books from the library. I practically live on my laptop.”

“Do you have Netflix?”

“We should have a movie night,” Stiles murmured digging his hands into the sand drawing shapes and glanced up when he didn’t get an answer. Derek was staring at him with an odd look in his eyes before bobbing his head in confirmation. He moved with instinct when he cupped the back of his neck and kissed him tasting salt and sand on his lips. Derek made a small sound when he gripped his wrists tight before pulling him onto his lap and kissing him back. They could kiss without fear out here, Derek’s lips moving against his and his tongue stroking against his so he shuddered wriggling closer to him. 

“Tell me something more about yourself,” Stiles breathed fingers tightening in his hair.

“What? What do you want to know?”

“Anything!” 

“I hate classical music, I hate cats but I like dogs, I hate public transport, and I love bacon,” Derek muttered kissing his collarbone and biting down so he cried out.

“Fuck, your mouth will kill me, wait, why do you hate cats?” Stiles muttered kissing him hard before they parted.

“Evil creatures, they scratch, they crave attention, and they have an evil look in their eyes. Laura owned one when I was little, it scratched me once, and I kicked it.”

“You kicked it?!” Stiles demanded pulling back to look at him. 

“It hissed at me! It loved everyone else but not me…I was grounded for a month after I kicked it.”

“Cruelty to animals? You’re pure evil,” Stiles whispered kissing him. 

“I didn’t hurt it, it was fine, and it clawed me, and then stayed away from me.” 

“Adorable. I love any music that can get me going, I’ve never had a serious girlfriend or boyfriend but I tend to like the wrong people, I had a pet hamster that my dad hoovered up when he didn’t know I let little Chewbacca out.”

“You – you called your hamster Chewbacca?” Derek whispered pressing his lips to his jaw with his eyes dancing in amusement. 

“It was hairy! I had a bad star wars phase when I wanted to be a Jedi and I wanted to be Han Solo travelling through the stars and my hamster was my Chewbacca. Well he was till he was sucked to death,” Stiles explained tilting his head to the side letting him kiss his neck. “It was a tragic day.”

Stiles smiled faintly feeling Derek smile against his neck before tilting his jaw up to kiss him softly. It was interrupted when Stiles’ stomach rumbled and they parted so Stiles could let out a weak chuckle.

“I get hungry easily enough, should we go find a diner and get food?”

“Yeah,” Derek agreed easily dislodging him from his lap so he squawked glaring at him from where he was sat in the sand. Stiles took his hands when he helped him up and they made their way back to the car. There was one close by to their surprise and Stiles hummed as he looked out of the window to see the sea in the distance. They made an order for burger and fries with a soda. 

Stiles pulled out his cell and bit his lip at the six messages he had all from Scott. 

_“Where are you today then?” – Scotty. 9:45am._

_“Stiles!” – Scotty. 10:23am._

_“People keep asking me where you are. It’s odd that you’re missed?” Scotty. 11:01am_

_“You’ve been acting weird for days. I’m worried!!!!” Scotty. 12:10pm._

_“Allison is taking me camping!” Scotty. 12:25pm._

_“When you get all these, please call me, I’m worried about you man. Is everything good???” Scotty. 12:45pm._

Stiles blinked and bit his lip when he put his phone aside and looked up to see Derek staring at him strangely. 

“Scott, he’s paranoid and questioning me,” Stiles explained and looked up when their sodas were brought over and took a big drag. The cold stung his gums, teeth, and throat when it went down before he settled leaning back. “Do your friends suspect anything?”

“No, they’re very self-centred most of the time but they’re good people. Erica and Boyd think about nothing else but themselves and their love life and Isaac…Isaac is a different story.” 

“I’ve seen them around. Erica is…well she’s beautiful.”

Derek wrinkled his nose licking his lips after taking a sip of his drink. Stiles followed the action and had half the idea to jump over the table and attack his mouth but thought better of it.

“Boyd seems very remote, quiet, and someone you don’t want to piss off. Isaac as well but he seems…different, like he’s hiding something. I heard…” Stiles muttered trailing off and thinking better of it. 

“What?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Stiles,” Derek insisted giving him a look. “What?”

“I heard a rumour that you and Isaac…you know,” Stiles gestured weakly staring at him, he watched the twitch in his jaw, and cursed himself. “Is it true?”

“Isaac and I?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled choosing to stare down at the glass instead of him. 

“Yeah, it was more of a friends with benefits situation but…not. It was just sex, a way to get off when there was no one else.”

“Oh,” Stiles murmured not knowing what to say when he gulped down his drink and rubbed his wet lips together. “Are you still –”

“No, that’s over,” Derek interrupted meeting his eyes when Stiles looked up in surprise. “It was over last night when he came around for what he called a pick me up and I turned him down.”

Stiles was speechless as he looked at him for a long time before their meals came and he was distracted away from the pleased buzzing in his mind. He hadn’t expected that at all and had no idea what the two of them were just yet. He didn’t think he would do that while they were getting to know each other but apparently Derek was more loyal than he imagined. He eagerly tucked into his burger and paused raising an eyebrow at Derek when a foot slid in between his legs linking them.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he muttered hiding his smile in his burger before continuing to eat and labelling this the best meal of his life. 

~*~

Derek stared out of the ocean watching the waves crash against the sand when it came closer to them and they sat on the dune together. Stiles sat between his legs and leaned against his chest when he played on his phone. It was drawing to the end of the day and a small part of him didn’t want to go back. Stiles was warm against him as the sun started to set reflecting on the ocean and he let his chin rest on top of head watching it. 

“Stupid thing,” Stiles muttered stabbing at his phone.

“What are you playing?”

“Candy crush, it’s infected me, it’s the worst invention ever but I can’t stop,” Stiles muttered with a tired sigh. “What time is it?”

“Nearly half four.”

“We have to head back soon don’t we?” Stiles mumbled ending his game and leaning further into him. 

“Yeah, your dad will start to notice you’re missing.”

Stiles sighed deeply and Derek knew how he felt when he looked down at him and Stiles looked up at him. He didn’t know what made him do it when he leaned in pressing his lips to Stiles’ forehead and felt him inhale in surprise. There was a softness in his eyes when he pulled back and he didn’t know what to say to explain it. 

“We need to go,” he said instead feeling the uncomfortable feeling tug at his stomach and chest when he stood up and helped him up. Stiles nodded in agreement when they headed to the car and brushed the sand off their bodies before getting in. The smell of the ocean wouldn’t leave his nostrils when he drove them back to Beacon Hills. Music from the radio filled the car and he glanced at Stiles to see him dozing. He left him to it and kept quiet when he got them back home driving to his street.

“Stiles,” he whispered shaking him awake so he jerked and inhaled sharply looking around.

“Oh, we’re back already?” he mumbled wiping his mouth and grimacing. “Don’t make me go in there.”

“You have to,” Derek murmured. 

“Can I come around tomorrow?”

“After school, yeah.” 

Stiles let out a huff and a nod unbuckling his seat belt and turned towards him before he got out. Derek knew what he wanted when he leaned in kissing him goodbye till Stiles was breathless and flushed.

“Okay, wow, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Stiles whispered patting his chest before climbing out and stumbling a little before he walked to his house. He watched till he knew Stiles was inside before driving back home. The loft was empty when he got home and turned the lights on. He picked the note up on the side informing him she was out with friends and would be back late. 

The loft was empty and too quiet when he looked around the place before sitting down heavily on the sofa to watch television. He was halfway through a bad film when his cell phone chimed with a message. 

_“Dad noticed nothing! He said I was flushed and was concerned for my health but all good in the hood. Now get here and be naked.” – Stiles. 6:53pm._

Derek couldn’t stop the snort of laughter when he looked at the television screen before sending him a text back. 

_“Are you permanently horny?”_

_“When you look like you do? I’m horny every day! You need to sort this out ASAP.” – Stiles. 7:01pm._

_“That can be arranged.”_

_“I’m serious, I want you, I know what I want, and I say screw the system!!!” – Stiles. 7:05pm._

Derek closed his eyes honestly wondering what the hell he had got himself into when he text him back telling him to calm down and it would happen soon enough. They shared texts throughout the night and he jumped straightening up when the door opened. Cora was beyond drunk when she stumbled in giggling, her hair a mess, dirt and a lipstick stain on her cheek when she looked at him. 

“Hello, brother!” she said opening her arms and he barely caught her in time when she fell forward laughing. 

“Cora, fuck,” he hissed hauling her to her feet before depositing her on the couch. “What the hell?”

“What?” she mumbled blinking up at him. “I – I’m fine, I just had a little – a little vodka, just a little bit.”

“More like the entire bottle,” he muttered helping her take off her shoes and jacket. 

“You – you – you can’t judge me, you’re…always drunk! Vomiting and…I can smell pizza, did you have pizza?”

“No, you need a drink of water,” he murmured touching the top of head when she swayed looking up at him. 

“Where’s your twink?” Cora teased with a giggle. “Have you fucked him yet?” 

Derek didn’t answer her as he returned with the bottle of water and handed it to her. “Drink.” 

“You got lucky,” she murmured pointing a finger at him. “Sti…Stiles is…he’s cute, bit of a dork, but you know…is he a wild one in bed? All loud noises and responsive as fuck. Is he, Derek?”

“Drink your water,” Derek ordered watching as she sighed deeply before chugging down the water. It didn’t last long when she gagged, the bottle of water flying out of her hand so it soaked the floor rolling away, and Cora vomited on the floor next to his shoes. Cora was on her hands and knees as she gagged and shuddered her way through it. 

“Oh no,” she whispered weakly staring up at him. 

Derek closed his eyes trying to gain the strength to do it when he helped her up and tugged her into the bathroom. He walked out leaving her to vomit into the toilets before grabbing a newspaper and putting it over the vomit before he attempted to clean it. It was karma for what he had put her through without a doubt. He wasn’t allowed to judge her from the number of times he came home drunk beyond words to wake up in the bath covered in sick. 

“Derek!” Cora whimpered pitifully. 

Derek finished up cleaning the water and vomit thanking whoever gave him a strong stomach before he walked into the bathroom to see her curled on her side. It was up to him to help her get dressed and averted her eyes when she pulled off her jeans to get sweatpants on. The bucket was put at the side when he put her in his bed.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Go to sleep,” he whispered back pressing a kiss to the top of her head before going to open the windows and air the place out. 

“I just miss them so much.”

Derek paused from where he was walking away and looked over his shoulder to see her eyes closed. There was a guilty punch to his chest when he moved away to open the windows and inhaled the cold air deeply. Laura would be able to handle this better. The guilt for her tore at his chest like claws and he grabbed his cell to see two new messages from Stiles. Time passed quickly when you were occupied. 

_“You’re ridiculous! How can you say Superman is better than Batman?! I give up on you.” – Stiles. 10:35pm._

_“I don’t really? I don’t think I could if I tried, not anymore, but you’re wrong. Just saying.” – Stiles. 11:15pm._

He smiled honestly before sending a text back and calling it a night. 

_“The feeling’s mutual.”_

Derek didn’t confirm what feeling he was mutual about to Stiles’ frustration when he text him twice demanding to know which one. Sleep that night was restless when he tossed and turned till he woke up that next morning exhausted. Cora slept by his side peacefully but he knew it wouldn’t be for long. She was prone to hangovers and he knew she wouldn’t be going to school today. Coffee was needed when he kicked the covers off and stretched out his muscles before switching on the coffee machine. He was sipping from his own mug when a small groan came from the bed.

“Fuck, shit, oh my god my head,” she muttered sitting up and looking around. “Oh…fuck.”

“Yeah,” Derek answered for her. “Coffee’s on.”

“I don’t think I can,” she murmured dropping back down on the bed. “I –I don’t…did I throw up? My mouth tastes like ass!”

“Yes, all over the floor,” he said nodding at the space near the couch and smiled faintly when she paled looking over at it and back to him.

“I’m sorry,” she admitted honestly. “We hit a few bars, a few clubs, and I mixed a lot.”

“It’s fine.”

“I’m not going to school.”

“I’m not expecting you too.”

Derek winced when she leaned over to the side and vomited hard into the bucket. He poured her a glass of water and pressed two tablets of Advil into her hand. He kept a close eye on her when she suffered through her hangover. He got two messages from Stiles throughout the day and hated school hours. They were long, tedious, and he hated how young he was but at the same time waiting gave him time to think. Time to think about what he wanted. 

~*~

Cora’s head was pounding with the headache from the depths of hell. It was horrendous and she hated how she felt when she watched Derek move around the loft. He was constantly checking his phone and even now after one week and a half she could see subtle changes in him. They were small but noticeable to her who knew him better than anyone. Stiles’ influence on him was working under him like a tattoo and she was watching it fall out before her eyes. 

It was five when the alarm went off and she flinched pulling the cover over her face when Derek slid open the door to reveal Stiles. Cora pulled down the blanket watching them curiously.

“Hey,” Stiles greeted looking around and holding up a hand to Cora sheepishly before meeting Derek’s eyes. “Ignoring my texts?”

“I text you once.” 

“Oh really, well let me just my cell to see no new –” Stiles ranted and was cut off when Derek kissed him. “That your new tactic to shut me up?”

“Yes when it’s the only way,” Derek muttered kissing him again. 

Cora raised an eyebrow watching slyly when Stiles pressed closer to him, his hands working up to cup his neck and into his hair and she felt a vague sense of disgust when Derek encouraged it. They were wrapped around each other like a puzzle until she got fed up and shifted to sit up.

“Hey!” she cried watching them jump and part staring at her like they forgotten she was here. “Yeah, as much as I appreciate the clothed porn show, that’s my brother. Yes, hello, Derek, it’s me.” 

“Sorry,” Stiles called with a grimace looking at Derek. “Do you have a soda?”

Derek nodded moving away and leaving Stiles to shift on his feet before coming over to her.

“Are you sick?”

“Hungover, I don’t handle well afterwards,” she admitted honestly eyeing him. “I didn’t know you cared.”

“I’m full of surprises!” Stiles said sitting on the end of the bed and smiling faintly at Derek who handed him the can before moving to the sofa. “I’m not the only one.”

“How the hell did you manage it?” Cora murmured softly stealing his can and taking a sip before handing it back. 

“Do what?” 

“Fly to the moon,” Cora muttered with a roll of her eyes. “Get my brother, one week ago you didn’t exist, not really, the sheriff’s kid and nothing more. One week and a half later you’re entwined like a pretzel eating his face.”

“He scared me on the street and bought me a bottle of vodka,” Stiles said with a hard swallow. “I on the other hand have liked him since I was fourteen.”

“Fourteen?”

“Crush and fascination.”

“Right,” Cora muttered in surprise glancing over to Derek who looked like he was trying his best not to listen in and watch the television. “So what’s going on now?”

“We’re getting to know each other.”

“Have you fucked?”

“Cora!” Derek snapped looking over his shoulder to glare at her.

“It’s a question!”

“No, not yet,” Stiles said with conviction looking at Derek and his cheeks were pink when he looked back at her. 

Cora met Derek’s eyes in surprise and smirked when he looked away. 

“Taking it slow. Well you’ve done a number on him,” she murmured thoughtfully. 

“I’m getting a shower!” Derek announced loudly heading into the bathroom. 

“Nope, you’re staying with me,” Cora said grabbing his wrist when Stiles went to follow him. “You went the beach yesterday, right?”

“Yeah, yesterday,” Stiles said with a confused twist to his mouth. “Why?”

“Am I hearing this right?” she murmured more to herself before looking at him. “Are you seriously telling me that you two could have spent the whole day…doing whatever but most probably fucking without me here or anyone else to go to the… beach?”

Stiles nodded shrugging his shoulders and twisting his hands together. 

“Fuck,” she whispered looking away.

“Is it bad?!” he hissed leaning into her. “Is there a reason he won’t fuck me?” 

“No, no, no, this is – this is interesting,” Cora muttered eyeing him. “Has he…told you anything about his past?”

“Nope, well not yet anyway, I’m hoping he might.”

Cora moved shifting to face him and stare him dead in the eyes. “I’m going to tell you one thing and you better listen to it. We haven’t had the best past. No one has, hell no one’s perfect, and definitely not my brother. Derek is not a version of perfection, all of his past relationships have been shit, complete crap, and I watched that happen. Derek doesn’t trust anymore, he fucks anything that catches his eyes, he drinks till he’s vomiting, and smokes drugs, cigarettes, and takes any pill he can get and you want to know why? He wants to _forget.”_

Stiles was pale and his eyes wide when he stared back at her and she looked over to the bathroom door with a sigh. 

“Derek doesn’t do relationships, he doesn’t do…settling down. That’s why I’m surprised because this is isn’t him, he doesn’t do taking people to the beach and in this weather, kissing you with an ease, not fucking you. I don’t know what you’ve done…but keep it up. I want my brother to be happy, he deserves it even though he doesn’t believe it, and I don’t think he ever will. I know it’s only been a week but get him to open up. There’s a lot you don’t know.” 

Her speech was cut off by the bathroom door opening and Derek coming out rubbing a towel through his hair and thankfully wearing clothes. Cora took that as her cue as she got out of his bed and headed to the stairs. Stiles was speechless when he watched her leave and head to the stairs. Cora didn’t go straight up when she hid from view from them but watched curiously. 

“Is everything okay?” Derek muttered.

“Yeah…yeah, sure, you smell good,” Stiles replied softly with a sniff looking up at him. “My dad’s on night shift tonight, it’s why I’m here.”

Derek nodded chucking the towel on the sofa and stood still when Stiles got up slowly before leaning in and kissing him. Cora watched them part and Stiles whisper something she couldn’t hear and Derek nod once. They stepped away from each to head to the sofa and settle down to watch some television. She wrapped her arms around her legs when they settled next to each other before Derek leaned back and Stiles took that as his cue to lean against his chest. It was the smallest things when she zeroed in on Derek’s hand hesitantly reaching up to comb through his hair, Stiles’ eyes closed when he either dozed or fell asleep, and there was a lost look in his expression. It was like he was scared but fascinated all at the same time. It was heart-breaking for her to see him like that, afraid to trust his feelings, his own judgement, and probably in time to love. 

Cora didn’t flinch when Derek turned his head to look at her. There was an emotion in his eyes that she honestly didn’t know, it was either turmoil or fear or even both. She pressed her lips together before standing up and leaving the stairs to drop on her own bed. Cora wanted him to be happy but she wanted it for herself too. It was just about how and when.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since Beacon Hills is a fictional town just imagine one of the many beaches in California and imagine there or even one that's made up! I couldn't pinpoint one since it's fiction.
> 
> :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are awesome, thank you for all the comments and kudos! 
> 
> I apologise for any mistakes and if you have any requests of what you would like to see happen in this then please leave a comment! I'm open to them. :)

There was sexual frustration and then there was desperation to the highest levels. It had been a total of two weeks since he had crashed into Derek’s life and Derek into his. The whole part of getting to know him was all well and good. Stiles couldn’t get enough him most of the time and spent half of his time in his company whether Cora was there or not but they had yet to have sex. It was maddening and there was only so much kissing and groping before he went insane. But somewhat dating Derek also had its difficulties. It meant lying to his dad and Scott about where he was most of the time. That was the frustrating part of being with Derek who was not just older than him but was on his dad’s list on terrible men in this town. Scott was already suspicious, questioning everything, eyeing his cell and neck when he came into school with new marks. 

It didn’t stop him from doing it though. It didn’t stop him from going to Derek and craving him like he never had before. It sucked hiding it but at the same time having a secret and having him to himself was a little worth it. It was finally the weekend to his relief and after barely seeing him because of homework, his dad being in, and Scott being all over his ass about spending time together now that’s he’s in a relationship he was glad to get a day with him tomorrow.

“Fancy coming out with us tomorrow?” Scott questioned as they walked down the corridor together.

“Nope, busy, and I don’t fancy being the third wheel to your little twosome.”

“You wouldn’t be a third wheel!” 

“I was last time! I was sat there whilst you two sucked face! I’m happy for you dude, I am, I love that you got the girl of your pretty little dreams but I can’t do it. I’m busy tomorrow, plans, and you two can suck face, do whatever,” Stiles reassured gripping his shoulder.

“What plans?”

“Just…plans!”

“With who? Lydia?”

“What? No, I don’t exist in her world unless she wants something or wants to know something,” Stiles protested with a sigh. “Just plans, okay? It’ll be good for us.”

Scott frowned at him as they continued walking before pausing and gripping his arm. 

“Is everything okay? You’ve been weird for days and I know you’re getting with someone, Stiles, the marks on your neck, your cheeks, and the fact you’re constantly on your cell. I thought we didn’t keep things from each other?”

The guilt punched through him when he met his eyes and looked away. “Well…maybe just this time we do.”

“What? Why?” he demanded pulling his hand away. “Who is it?”

“It’s…someone, okay, just its early days, Scott, and I’m trying to keep it on the down low.”

“Even from me? I’m your best friend!”

“Exactly! You’re…my best friend and it’s exactly why I can’t tell you, not yet,” Stiles said with a heavy sigh watching the hurt flood into Scott’s eyes before he took off. “Scott, wait! Scott!”

It was a punch and a half as he tried to breathe in and out and gave up turning his back to get the hell out of there. His mind felt fuzzy, the guilt and pain in his chest and heart like a hammer to his ribs when he snuck out of the school heading to his car.

_“Are you in???”_

He quickly sent the message as he started up the Jeep and headed away from the school knowing his destination and not caring who saw him. The message back to him was instant. 

_“Yes, why?” – Grumpy. 2:15pm._

Stiles didn’t reply and instead drove over there and parked running up the stairs. Derek opened the door for him confused before catching him when Stiles hugged him. They hardly ever hugged like this, they cuddled sure, Derek was a secret cuddle monster but he’d never call him out on it. He didn’t fancy being kicked out of bed again. Derek’s arms were strong and warm when they carefully wrapped around him holding him close when Stiles buried his face into his neck. 

“Stiles, what it is? What’s going on?”

“Had a fight with Scott. I can’t tell him about us, I can’t, he’ll freak out, warn me against you, and I don’t want that. He got upset when I said I couldn’t tell him about the person I was seeing,” Stiles explained muffled into his neck. “It sucks.” 

“Stiles, look at me,” Derek pleaded pulling him back so he could stare into his eyes. “I don’t want you to be fighting with your friends and lying to them for me. I don’t want that.” 

“I didn’t mean it too! He gets easily pissed and he hates me lying to him. Scott’s my brother, always has been, and he’s already warned me against you before this happened.”

“That doesn’t matter. He’s your best friend, keep it that way, and you need to stop skipping school.”

“You didn’t just say that,” Stiles muttered with a soft snort. “Like you care.”

“I care when people get suspicious and start looking for you,” Derek argued trailing his eyes up and down him thoughtfully. “Now that you’re here though…”

“We have a whole afternoon,” Stiles whispered feeling his stomach flip when he kissed him eagerly and his other hand slammed the door closed. Stiles gasped when his back hit it and he opened his mouth wider when Derek kissed him like he wanted to be. Screw the nice and gentle side of things. 

“I want you to fuck me,” Stiles whispered against his lips and raised an eyebrow when Derek pulled back to look at him with a hint of fear and surprise. “Why so surprised? I want to be naked, underneath you, I want you inside of me, Derek, fuck me till I can barely walk. Do you think you can do that? Do you think you have the strength to do that?”

Stiles smirked when Derek narrowed his eyes yanking his shirt off and lifting him up so he could wrap his legs around his waist.

“Oh my big strong man,” Stiles crooned wrapping his arms around his neck. “I want to feel you for days on end.”

“You’ve got a filthy mouth,” Derek whispered before dumping him on the bed. 

“You’ve seen nothing,” Stiles muttered when he dropped in between his spread legs and kissed his chest and collarbone. “I imagine you every night, all alone in my bed, naked as the day I was born with three fingers inside of me. I imagine you pressing me into this bed, doing exactly this, your cock pressing and fucking into me over and over again. I drown myself in lube it’s like I’m wet like a girl, can you imagine the sound?”

Derek was breathing heavily against his chest when he kissed over his right nipple so he hissed and arched underneath him. 

“Do you say my name?”

“Yeah, always your name, I breathe it, scream it into my pillow,” Stiles muttered with a desperate gasp when he kissed down his stomach to his bellybutton. “Can you live up to my expectations, Derek?”

Derek huffed against his abdomen before moving up cupping his jaw and chin with one hand and kissing him hard. “I’ll show you expectations, brat.” 

“Man of your word?” Stiles teased and bit his lip when Derek undid his jeans yanking them off and throwing them over his shoulder. He fought down his laughter when Derek took off his socks but kept his underwear on. “You’re too dressed, get naked.”

“I have to undress myself?” 

Stiles took that as his cue as he knelt on the mattress yanking his top up and over his head. He swore softly looking him up and down and smirked before kissing the centre of his chest. He didn’t have to see to hear the soft exhale Derek gave when he continued trailing his lips down his chest towards his abs. Stiles couldn’t resist flicking his tongue out licking one and grinning into his skin when he jumped. 

“You’re like a painting, it’s ridiculous, look at me compared to you,” Stiles muttered with a pout trailing his hand down his chest. 

“You’re fine, better than fine,” Derek murmured pulling him into a kiss when Stiles let his hands do the rest of his work when he unbuckled his belt to get his jeans off. Derek helped then when he pulled back yanking them off with his socks. The grin on his face wouldn’t fade when Derek returned trailing his nose down his slowly, carefully and pecked his lips. His heart was thumping wildly in his chest when he stared into his eyes and Derek’s hands slid down his back to cup his ass cheeks. 

“Are you sure?”

“Don’t pussy out on me,” Stiles whispered and groaned when Derek pushed him into the pillows kissing him. He couldn’t resist smiling into their kiss and panted softly when Derek nipped his throat and continued his path down over his collarbones, his clavicle, his chest, and stomach with kisses and biting the skin so he was pale and pink. His cock strained in his white cotton underwear enough so he was desperate. 

“You know as much as I love foreplay, I’ve been waiting for this for a long time,” Stiles muttered when Derek pulled back yanking his underwear down so he was exposed and naked. “Come on, big boy, fuck me.”

Derek raised his eyebrows at him before leaning over to his drawer and pulling it open when he pulled out a red tube of lube and a condom. Stiles picked it up and swallowed hard seeing the XXL on the packet and smirked.

“You think highly of yourself…” Stiles whispered and chuckled when Derek swatted his thigh. 

“You’re the one who has had it in your mouth.”

“True,” Stiles murmured when Derek removed his last piece of clothing and he honestly felt his mouth dry up at the sight of him. “You’re too awesome.”

“What?” Derek muttered pushing him back with a sigh. “Stop moving.” 

“Awesome for me is stupidly gorgeous, stupidly fit, and that’s just for you,” he whispered and exhaled shakily when their bodies pressed together. “Now, skip foreplay, come on, or do I need to go out there and find someone else who can fuck me like they mean it.” 

Stiles honestly felt like his mouth was bruised when Derek honest to god snapped at him before kissing and biting his lip. He swore louder when Derek grabbed the lube and popped it open to spill the gel over his fingers. It hit him when Derek pushed a first finger into him that he was about to lose his virginity to the hottest guy on the planet. 

“Fuck!” Stiles cried out muffled by his fingers when a second finger was pushed inside of him, his fingers much bigger than his own, and the burn was satisfactory. His nails dug into his shoulders and back and he smiled when Derek looked at him with lust flamed in his eyes. The third finger that pushed and wriggled inside of him was enough to get his back arching off the bed when he panted and nodded.

“Oh fuck! I’m good, I’m so good, please,” he pleaded fisting his other hand into Derek’s hair and kissing him eagerly. “Come on.” 

Sweat covered their bodies already bodies when Derek ripped the packet open with his teeth. Stiles swore softly because that was hot and Derek rolled the condom on before lining up. 

“Wrap your legs around me,” Derek urged. 

“Shouldn’t I be on my hands and knees?”

“No, I want to see your face,” he replied with a shake of his head before gently pushing into him. 

Stiles opened his mouth wordlessly, his arms wrapped around his neck when he felt Derek push into him slowly, and the pain was different. It hurt, it really did, but there was also a sense of fullness he had never felt before when he panted against Derek’s temple. His virginity had exploded into dust and he smiled faintly nodding. 

“What are you waiting for?” he whispered and half laughed half groaned when Derek huffed annoyed into his cheek before pulling out to thrust into him. It was like nothing he ever imagined in his head when Derek continued to thrust into him without abandon. The bed creaked underneath them and all Stiles could hear was their breathing intertwined when he groaned louder when he struck something inside of him. 

“Oh fuck!” Stiles groaned when Derek pulled back a little to look into his eyes. “Do that again, whatever that was, do it again!”

“So bossy,” Derek whispered with a smug smile driving forward so Stiles cried out clawing at his back when pleasure exploded all over him. His cock was hard and leaking against his stomach when he wrapped a hand around the shaft moving his hand up and down. He wanted his orgasm and clenched down when it hit him and he panted through it when the come hit the both of them.

“Messy,” Derek commented before continuing to thrust into him. Stiles felt exhausted and moaned kissing him and rocking with him when he brought Derek to climax. Derek’s mouth hot against his when he grunted thrusting into him till he stuttered to a halt. Stiles stared up at him and reached up catching the bead of sweat trailing down his forehead and winced when Derek pulled out of him. 

The condom was tossed in the bin when he walked naked to the kitchen. Stiles watched him feeling the sweat and come cool on his skin, his hole already protesting when he breathed in and out attempting to deal with the fact he just had sex for the first time. 

“I can still feel my legs,” Stiles called to him when he returned with a bottle of water and sat down next to him.

“You won’t when I’m done with you.”

Stiles felt a shiver of excitement when he watched Derek lean back against the headboard. He didn’t waste any time when he moved straddling his lap and grinned when Derek raised his eyebrows. 

“I’m sticky,” he murmured taking the bottle off him and taking a sip. “Do you have hot water?”

“Unlimited.”

“Fancy washing my back?” 

“Why? You’re just going to get dirty again.”

Stiles swallowed licking his lips his hands trailed down his thighs slowly. “Is that a promise?”

Derek didn’t answer when he took the bottle off him and Stiles moved to go and get a towel to wash his chest and forehead off. He was feeling better when he came back to him with a slight limp from his protesting ass. He glared at Derek’s smirk when he dropped back down on the bed. 

“Yeah, yeah, smug bastard,” Stiles mumbled lying down and closing his eyes when Derek kissed down his jaw. “Is it weird that I could do with another round?”

“Already?”

“Seventeen,” Stiles whispered with a small smirk. 

“The sexual stamina of one as well.” 

“Yeah, yeah, come on big boy,” Stiles whispered shoving at his shoulder when he climbed into his lap. “I don’t think that was your best effort.” 

Stiles felt his mind collapse in on its self the second time Derek pushed into him. His mouth insistent and his tongue stroking deep into his mouth when they rocked together. His hands finding its place on his shoulders and back, his nails leaving their mark and he enjoyed knowing that when stared into his eyes watching Derek climax for the second time. The pure pleasure in his face when he released inside of him and Stiles knew there and then he never wanted to let that go. 

~*~

The whole place reeked of sex. Derek knew it when he smoked a cigarette near the window and Stiles dozed in the bed after one of their many rounds. He honestly hadn’t expected to have sex with him so soon but Stiles could be persuasive when he was talking to him with a filthy mouth. His eyes strayed over to him flat on his back, the covers covering his lower body as he breathed in and out. Derek took his last drag before flicking it away and slamming the window closed. It was freezing when he moved into the bathroom to swill mouthwash around his mouth. 

He joined him in bed and trailed his eyes over the hickeys on his neck, the scratch marks on his stomach and if he rolled him onto his back they would be there as well. Derek inhaled deeply watching him breathe in and out and couldn’t help but lean over and brush his lips over his temple. The motion was enough to stir him and he mentally kicked himself for waking him up.

“Yo,” Stiles muttered weakly peering up at him. “What time is it?”

“Nearly five,” Derek replied watching him sit up and hiss in pain before glaring at him. 

“You certainly did your number didn’t you?”

Derek nodded and kissed him back instantly when he leaned in kissing him quickly. Stiles stretched out his arms and legs before looking at him lazily and had a satisfied glow about him. 

“How’s your back?”

“Oh from where you clawed me?” he said with a snort showing him and rolling his eyes when Stiles laughed openly.

“Sorry, I get excited easily, and I didn’t cut them,” he explained holding up his hands. “So…now that we’re all royally fucked out. Do you regret it?”

“Do I regret having sex with you?”

“Well we waited long enough to do it and I don’t regret it. You were my first and I…I couldn’t think of anyone else better to do it,” Stiles admitted throwing up his hands and shrugging his shoulders. 

“Stiles, I don’t regret having sex with you, I waited because I didn’t – I didn’t want it to be…meaningless.”

“So it was meaningful?”

He didn’t answer and simply nodded brushing his hair off his forehead. The smile that spread on his lips was wanted and needed when he climbed back into his lap like a monkey clinging to him. They shared kisses till the door opened and he pulled back from Stiles who swore. He thanked himself for putting on sweatpants beforehand.

“Oh my god!” Cora explained holding up her hands before slapping them over her face. “Are you kidding me!?”

“Sorry!” Stiles called to her grabbing the sheet before wrapping it around his body and laughing shakily. 

“This place reeks! Oh my god, did you have sex all afternoon?”

“Kind of,” Derek explained with a nod. 

“You’re horny animals,” she said looking at them both before heading into the kitchen. 

Derek glanced at Stiles who was blushing and staring down at his hands whilst Cora grumbled to herself in the kitchen.

“I better get dressed and go, no doubt the school called my dad. I’m in for an earful,” Stiles murmured indicating at him to get his clothes and got dressed under the covers. 

“Best not to tell him.”

“Do you think I’m stupid? I can imagine it now, “Where have you been, Stiles?” and I’ll reply with “Oh just having sex with Derek Hale, he took my virginity, and gave me the best lay of my life. When’s dinner?” I don’t think it’ll settle with him and you’ll have a bullet in your gut by the end of the night.”

Derek inhaled deeply shaking his head and brought him down to kiss him goodbye and shove him gently away.

“I’ll text you!” Stiles called to him with a grin when he limped out of the loft. Cora watched from the kitchen and snorted with laughter when the door closed behind him. 

“Did you wreck him?”

“It wasn’t gentle.”

“You really like him don’t you?” Cora teased biting into the apple she had. 

Derek didn’t answer her as he got clean clothes out and headed to the shower. The water was hot and perfect when it rained down on him, he tilted his face back getting the full spray of it, and had to admit that despite how hard he wanted to deny it he was the best thing to happen to him. Stiles came into his life unexpectedly and though his feelings were clouded and confusing for now he couldn’t deny not liking him. In little of fourteen days he had infected him with his smile, his laugh, the way he kissed him, the way he looked at him like nothing else mattered, and there was no judgement. 

In a way Stiles was too good for him, too honest and contained for someone like him, someone who ruins everything they touch and couldn’t love in return without fault. Derek sighed deeply as he shook his head from the excessive water droplets and stared forward. There was no regret inside of his body but his inner turmoil wouldn’t fade, it would never die down, and he found himself doubting whether he could continue this if a future wasn’t there. 

Cora was waiting for him with a coffee when he came out feeling fresher and took it out of her hands when he sat on the soda.

“First, did you have sex here?” she demanded.

“No, strictly the bed and…the floor,” he murmured taking a sip. 

“Good, no sex on here, no sex in the kitchen, and no sex in my bed. I will murder you. You can have sex anywhere but those three places.”

“Thank you for your permission,” Derek replied dryly. 

“Second, stop the internal freaking out right now!” 

“Why do you think I’m freaking out?” 

“I can tell, I’m your sister, and I know when you freak out. What’s done is done. Do not ruin this with stupid thoughts and judgements, Derek,” Cora warned drinking from her own cup before setting it on the table. “Stiles is good for you, more than good for you, and I don’t want you to start thinking crap about something so new.” 

“He’s too good for me.”

“Bullshit! He’s not too good for you and you’re not too good for him. You are two people who happened to meet and like each other. Don’t…fuck…this…up,” she warned pointing a finger at him. “What would you rather have, a warm mouth and a quick fuck or someone to kiss, hold, have sex with on a daily basis and eventually wake up knowing they aren’t going anywhere?” 

Derek licked his inner bottom lip before drinking his coffee. “The second one.”

“Exactly, so stop it, its fine, you’re fine, and everything is wrapped together in a big pink bow.” 

Derek breathed out shakily when she patted his knee and turned on the television to watch some of her programmes. It was a pain in the ass when she watched the stuff he hated. He sat with her and drank his coffee till his phone chimed with a new message. 

_“Drinks??? Come to my apartment. X” – Erica. 5:36pm._

It was better than watching bad soaps with Cora and he sent her a quick text back telling her he would be there in twenty. He changed into better clothes and ignored the concerned look Cora shot him when he said he would be back later. Erica lived fifteen minutes away from his loft and she lived in a one bedroom apartment on her own. It was all paid for by Boyd who supported her to her own guilt. 

“Need to get you wankers a key!” Erica sang when he buzzed and was let into the building. The door was open when he walked inhaling the smell of weed to see an already tipsy Erica waving at him.

“What the hell, Erica?”

“Boyd’s cheating on me!” she cried throwing out her arms. 

“What?” he questioned slamming the door closed behind him and moving to sit down next to her. “What do you mean?”

“What do you fucking think I mean!” she shouted glaring at him. “He came here…two…fucking…hours ago stinking of some sluts perfume and he passes it off as his co-workers perfume because she hugged him.” 

“Does that mean he’s cheating?”

“Yes!” she shouted grabbing the vodka bottle. “He’s always on his phone, he doesn’t seem interested in sex with me anymore and I know we’ve done it everywhere and in like every position but it’s so good with him.”

Derek wrinkled his nose when he sat next to her and she sniffed with tears building in her eyes when she looked at him. It was the scariest thing in the world and he half wished he could go back in time and text her saying no he was becoming a saint and never drinking again. 

“He’s not cheating on you.”

“How do you know? Has he said something!?” she demanded staring at him. 

“No, Erica, but he loves you.”

“No, he doesn’t, because he’s sleeping with some whore!” she spat drinking the bottle of vodka and pointing her finger at him. “You’ve had sex today haven’t you?”

Derek blinked in surprise before nodding and she snorted clapping her hands. 

“Tell me!” she said turning to face him. 

“How did you know?”

“Look in your eyes plus you’re walking like you won the lottery and that’s not happened so…it was a really good fuck. Who was the lucky man or woman?”

“It was the same one as before.”

“Oh! I thought you said you let him go?” she muttered with a frown. 

“It lasted a day.”

“Wow…you must really like him, so who is he?”

Derek eyed her carefully when she screwed the cap on the bottle and reached for her packet of cigarettes to get one out.

“Stiles Stilinski,” Derek answered turning his head to watch the cigarette drop out of her mouth when she looked at him stunned and equally horrified. 

“Stiles…Stilinski, the sheriff’s kid?” 

“Yeah,” he murmured with a nod. 

“The…sheriff’s kid who is not only still in high school, underage, and…the sheriff’s fucking kid,” she demanded. 

“Yes, Erica.”

“Okay,” she murmured looking away before pushing the cigarette in between her lips and offering him one. “Wow, you sure know how to pick them. So you two had sex before?”

“Yeah,” he muttered lighting it. “I, uh, I took his virginity.”

“Holy fu –” Erica said cutting herself off and shaking her head so her curls fell into her face. “Is it serious or a onetime thing?”

“It’s serious, we’ve been…getting to know each other for about two weeks.”

“That’s a well record for you!” she exclaimed with a chuckle. “Wow, Stiles, he’s cute, I’ve noticed that but a little young for me…but not for you! You do know if the Sheriff finds out then you’re going to prison and he’ll shoot you a couple of times.” 

“I figured that out for myself,” he muttered with a sniff taking a drag. 

“Wow,” she breathed. “Well at least he’s not cheating.”

Derek rolled his eyes and sat with her as they smoked and drank their way through a vodka bottle until she passed out. He was tipsy but had enough control to stand up, cover her with a comforter, and get out of there. His cell had one message from Stiles which he read stood on the sidewalk. 

_“I made up my excuses, dad gave me an earful but not grounded. I wish I was there instead of here, it sucks, and I’m still in achy pain btw. Ass.” – Stiles. 8:15pm._

Derek smiled despite everything and sent him a quick message back.

_“You wanted it, Stiles, did I meet your expectations? I’ll see you tomorrow.”_

Derek drove home with a smile itching in the corner of his lips. It was one filled with satisfaction and he prayed the night passed by quickly. 

~*~

John Stilinski was many things but one of them was not stupid. He knew something was up with his son but with no evidence he couldn’t question him. His job often came home with him when he dealt with Stiles. Stiles was different these days, happier but agitated, his neck riddled in hickey’s, his cheeks flushed with what looked like stubble burn, and there was an excited dance in his eyes. It was no doubt a man who had did this and he was no stranger to his son being bi-sexual. 

His worry for him though wouldn’t fade and he returned home that evening to an empty house and no Stiles. It had been another headache when the school rang to say Stiles had gone missing from his last lessons and he thanked them for telling him. There was no point ringing him and there had to be a good reason for Stiles skipping his last lessons. 

He put the dinner on not wanting to cause a fuss and looked up when Stiles came home. John watched as Stiles walked in and paused taking sight of him before smiling widely. 

“Dad, hey, you’re back already?” he said walking towards him with a slight limp in his step.

“Yeah…you hurt yourself?”

“What? Oh…yeah, tripped on my way out of the car,” Stiles said with a small chuckle. “So…”

“The school called me, what happened?” he demanded facing him.

“Sick,” Stiles lied. 

“Why didn’t you come home?”

“I did, I went out for to get a milkshake, and you know those things make me feel better!”

“Your bed is unslept in,” John said with a heavy sigh.

“I was on the couch dad!” Stiles cried gesturing at it. “Look, I skipped, I should have told the school, I know, but…”

“Yes, you should have, your education is important, Stiles, don’t you want to go to college? Harvard, Stanford, any college that can get you a degree better than high school.” 

Stiles swallowed twisting his hands together before nodding. “I know dad, I know.”

“I don’t think you do because this isn’t the first time is it?”

“Dad, I’m sorry, okay? It won’t happen again and if it does…I will tell the school where I’m going and I’ll tell you.”

John sighed deeply as he turned back to the stove and stirred the sauce for the paste. “Go do your homework, dinner will be done in ten.”

“Homework in ten minutes? I’m not a genius,” Stiles muttered leaving the room and running upstairs. 

John closed his eyes bracing himself against the counter before getting the whiskey bottle and pouring a glass. He dished up dinner and the meatballs before settling the table and calling him down. He kept his silence when Stiles came down in a loose t-shirt and sweatpants, his cheeks flushed in the light, and a new reddish hickey on his neck. Stiles was greedy when he shovelled food into his mouth and groaned nodding over and over again. 

“This is good, really good,” he murmured with his mouth full of food.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full of food,” John warned him. “Do you want to tell me anything?”

Stiles chewed slowly staring at him before swallowing hard and shaking his head. “No, um, no, why?”

“Your neck,” he said with a nod.

“It’s nothing, just…fooling around…with a friend,” Stiles said awkwardly. “It’s nothing, I promise you.”

“It doesn’t look like nothing,” he muttered spearing a meatball and putting it into his mouth to chew before asking. “Is it Scott? I know you two have always been close and you had all those sleepovers…”

“Whoa! No, no, no, don’t even finish that sentence!” Stiles protested. “He’s like my brother, dad, it’d be like incest plus he’s got himself a girlfriend. It’s no one you know, alright? It’s nothing, just…teenagers being teenagers!”

“Let me remind you of your age,” he warned giving him a look.

“Seventeen.”

“What is the law of underage sex?”

“Oh my god, dad, it’s all hands on clothing, okay?” Stiles replied anxiously staring down at his pasta. 

“Do we need to have the talk again?”

“No,” Stiles cried staring at him with wide eyes. “That still scars me.” 

“I want you to be careful. If, and I mean if, Stiles, sex happens please be safe and careful and use a condom no matter what…or who you’re with.”

John felt an uncomfortable tickle run down his spine when Stiles swallowed hard and bobbed his head in agreement. 

“Can I leave now?”

“After the dishes,” he said finishing off his own dinner and heading into the living room to settle in front of the television for the night.

John settled putting it on a programme he favoured and watched as Stiles did the dishes, his hand reaching into his pocket to bring out his cell. There was a small smile there and a brightness in his eyes he hadn’t seen in a long time when he text whoever it was back. Whoever it was ticked one box of the long list he mentally had if he could bring a smile out like that in his son. 

“Dishes are done, I’m going to do my history essay,” Stiles said giving him a small smile. “I’ll see you in a couple of hours.”

He nodded watching him run up the stairs and leaned back into his seat and swirled his whiskey around his glass. He’d learn the truth in time and when he did he’d be there for him. Just like he always was.


	7. Chapter 7

The problem with secrets is the truth will always come out in the end. It could take weeks, months, or even years but one way or the other it comes out. Stiles was waiting for this to happen with him and Derek. It was hard work liking someone more than you could ever imagine and keeping him a secret, keeping their visits frequent when he went around for two hours and they spent one hour of it having sex because they could. Stiles loved losing himself in those sheets, Derek’s mouth working itself across his skin, his fingers pushing into the hot warmth of his body, and his cock thrusting into him over and over again. It was in those moments he got to see the other side of Derek, the rough but gentle and sensitive side of him. 

Stiles loved it though, he loved getting to know him, he loved hiding him from the world sometimes, but hiding it from Scott was the worst. Scott was still bitter with him now even when they made up after their twenty four hour fight. He promised to wait for Stiles to tell him and wait he did but even after two weeks it was still tense between them. Scott spending more and more time with Allison and less with Stiles when he wasn’t with Derek. Their “bro nights” cancelled because either one or both of them were busy. It hurt him deeply but he never spoke about it. 

In total it had been a month and a week since everything started and Stiles hated the burden he had already. It was a Friday night and he stared up at the building holding his bag on his back before entering. He opened the door to pumping music and paused watching Derek in the middle of a workout. Derek was shirtless, his back covered in sweat when he did press ups. 

“Oh my god, can you get any hotter?” he shouted over the music and glared at him playfully when Derek paused and moved to stand. 

“I thought you were coming at seven,” he said turning off the music and grabbing a towel.

“What and miss this? Fuck, you look too good,” Stiles muttered eyeing him and dumping his bag on the floor.

“What’s that?”

“My dad’s on a night shift, I have no school tomorrow, so…I’m staying over.”

“Are you sure?”

“I want to wake up with you,” he whispered leaning in and stealing a kiss. “Go get a shower, you reek.”

Stiles slapped his ass hard to show his authority and smirked when Derek narrowed his eyes at him before walking into the bathroom. He hummed as he opened the windows letting the cold air in before stripping out of his jacket and coat to sit on the sofa. The running water filled the loft when he leaned back shutting his eyes to wait for him. His eyes opened when the door opened and he came out wearing nothing but a blue towel covering his waist.

“Wow,” he murmured looking at him. “Well this will not do.”

“What?” Derek questioned giving him a pointed look.

Stiles pursued his lips when he walked over and tugged the towel down so he was naked and staring at him with a bemused expression. 

“Nakedness is needed.”

“I’m the only one who is naked,” Derek responded softly.

“Yeah,” Stiles agreed before dropping down to his knees in front of him. “Yeah you are.”

It seemed dropping to his knees in front of him sparked his half hard cock to life when Stiles circled his lips over the head, his tongue pressing into slit taking the pre-come there into his mouth and swallowing it down. Derek groaned above him, his hands sliding into his hair and tugging at it none too gently. There was pain there but he ignored it when he took Derek further into his mouth. He enjoyed this too much to be healthy when he listened to Derek groaning and panting above him, his hands massaging his skull and hair, and his cock thrusting in and out of his mouth. It didn’t take long before he brought him to the orgasm and winced when Derek’s fingers tightened in his hair painfully, his come filling him mouth, and he swallowed it down greedily enough. 

“Shit,” Derek breathed out when Stiles pulled away and he was hauled to his feet by him and kissed him. Stiles hummed eagerly wrapping his arms around his neck and laughed breathlessly against his lips when he moved him back towards the bed.

“Did you enjoy that?” 

“You’ve got an evil mouth,” Derek whispered before shoving him down hard into the bed so he bounced a few times. 

“Wait, wait, is Cora coming back anytime soon?”

“No, I think she’s got a boyfriend or a girlfriend or whatever,” Derek muttered undressing him when Stiles held up his arms. “She’s been distant lately, lips bruised, constantly showering, it’s got to be someone new.”

“Good for her,” Stiles murmured more to himself and looked down at his now naked body amused. “You’re quick. Now that’s sorted, I want to ride you.”

The groan of want he got rippled down his spine when he knelt up shoving him down into the bed and straddling his thighs. His lips found their surface when he trailed them over his stubble, soft against his lips and tickling in the best way. Derek’s hands found their own purchase on his hips when he exposed his throat to him. Stiles took that as permission when he kissed and sucked the skin till it was red and exposed. It was satisfying to say the least drawing out the soft pants and muted groans from Derek. 

“You smell good,” Stiles whispered burying his nose into his neck inhaling soap before making his way down his chest. Derek hummed in agreement before gasping when Stiles circled his tongue over his nipple before sucking and kissing it. It stood to attention when he was done and flicked it with his fingers gently.

“Fuck, Stiles,” Derek breathed dragging his nails down his thighs so he jerked and smirked feeling Derek’s cock hard underneath him. 

“That’s the idea,” he whispered leaning down to kiss him softly before grabbing the lube and tossing it at him. “Let’s get it on the road, big boy.”

Derek pushed at his shoulder hard enough for him to fall onto his back with a moan of approval. The first lubricated finger penetrated him to his relief when he bore down in it needing more.

“Fuck, give me more,” Stiles pleaded and hissed gripping his own hair when Derek pushed a second inside of him stretching him open. “I’m ready, move.”

Derek moved wordlessly hitting the headboard when Stiles grabbed a condom slipping it on to his cock slowly. Stiles’ eyes trained on him when his eyes closed and he jerked biting his lip when Stiles held him in his hand. He moved smiling faintly at him before lining up and sinking down onto his cock with a long drawn out moan. It filled him perfectly when he took him down to the root, the pain and slow burning pleasure of it enough for him to rock slowly. Derek groaned gripping at his hips when Stiles rose up and down riding him hard and moaning louder when his cock hit his prostrate dead on. 

“Oh fuck, am I doing all the work here?!” Stiles demanded gripping his shoulders tight when rocked up and down feeling sweat trickle down his back.

“You’re doing a fine job,” Derek whispered gripping the back of his neck and pulling him into a kiss. His tongue stroking across his bottom lip before pushing into his mouth and owning it. Stiles swore softly against his lips wrapping a hand around his own cock fisting himself to orgasm until his own hand was knocked out of the way.

“You need to let me take care of that.”

“Not doing a fine job so far,” Stiles said goading him on and threw back his head when his hand stroked him the right way, the perfect way for his balls to tighten in anticipation. His orgasm was like fire burning inside of him when he continued to ride him hearing his heartbeat in his ears. 

“Oh shit, fuck!” Stiles cried out loudly when his climax hit, his body clenching around his cock when come hit between them. It was Derek’s cue then to flip them so Stiles was on his back, his legs in the air and his head dangling off the bed when he fucked into him. Derek groaned above him after pistoling his hips into him until he climaxed deep inside of him. 

“Wow,” Stiles breathed sitting up and blinking feeling vertigo hit him. “I love sex.”

Derek made a small sound of agreement when he tossed the used condom into bin next to his bed and Stiles couldn’t resist tackling him into the mattress. 

“Are you sure your dad won’t notice?” Derek murmured letting him settle between his legs when Stiles rested against his chest. They were sticky with sweat and come but he didn’t let it bother him staring down at him. 

“No he’ll do his night shift, come in, eat something, and then go straight to bed. I want to stay here tonight…it’ll be fun,” Stiles replied with a shrug and paused when Derek brushed his hair off his forehead. 

He watched as Derek leaned over grabbing his packet of cigarettes and putting one into his mouth. 

“You know you’re going to get lung cancer right?”

“One day,” Derek mumbled around it before lighting it. “Maybe I’ll get those patches.”

“Yeah, maybe hell will freeze over as well,” Stiles muttered stealing it off him and taking a drag. It felt amazing when he exhaled and Derek watched him with hungry eyes. 

“Do I make it sexy like you do?”

“Sexier,” Derek murmured in agreement pushing at him so he could sit up and they shared it between them. Stiles looked around the loft quiet apart from them breathing and the drip of water from the tap. His lips pursued as he considered something and glanced at Derek who raised his eyebrows in question. 

“Fancy getting a bath?”

“A bath?”

“Showers are quick, we have time to kill, and I feel icky,” Stiles murmured hopping up and not caring about his nakedness when he headed inside to look at the tub. It was big enough to fit them both when he put the plug in and started to run the hot water. 

“We’re getting baths together now?”

“If you can put your dick up inside of me then you can share a bath with me!” Stiles called back watching the water run. “Plus if you want to do it again in the near future you will.”

“Threatening me, Stiles?” Derek questioned with a raised eyebrow approaching him when he came into the bathroom.

“Just a little bit.”

“Do I need to wash your back?”

“If you want, I wouldn’t object!” Stiles teased putting in his foot and bringing it out with a hiss before turning on the cold water. 

Derek rolled his eyes at him and turned away heading back out as they waited for the bath to run to a perfect temperature before Stiles called in. 

“You’re getting in first, you’ll crush me, and now I am not calling you fat. You’re bigger, stronger, and I want to be little spoon,” Stiles exclaimed and admired his ass when he rolled his eyes climbing in. 

“I’m honestly surprised you have no bubbles.”

“You’re all man and have no bubble bath,” Stiles grumbled slipping into the warm water and sighing in bliss resting against his chest. “You need to let yourself go, get some candles.”

“This isn’t Friends.”

“Oh!” Stiles exclaimed hitting the water. “I love that episode, we should marathon it.”

Derek hummed behind him when he reached over grabbing the soap and wash cloth. Stiles wriggled when he started to wash his chest. 

“I didn’t think you would take it literally,” Stiles murmured with a small smile watching him wash his chest slowly. His fingers massaging the soap there before splashing the water over him. 

“Baths aren’t too bad when there’s a naked you lying on my chest,” Derek whispered into his ear stroking his hand down his chest till he got to his groin. His fingers playing with his treasure trail and over his pubes before wrapping around his cock. Stiles moaned feeling the blood rush there hardening his cock once again. His teeth worried his bottom lip when he pressed against him feeling his hand move up and down the shaft quickly His feet squeaked against the tub when he pressed further back into him, his fingers gripping into the acrylic when Derek rubbed his hand harder bringing him to the climax. He watched breathing hard when he spilled into the water and let his head fall back against his shoulder.

Derek smirked when he brushed his lips over his temple and Stiles made a small sound of gratitude. 

“Do you want me to…?”

“No, I’m good,” he whispered in return wrapping his arms around his body and keeping him there. The hot water surrounded them both when Stiles rested there in his arms, the moisture clinging to his skin when he breathed in the scent of soap and Derek’s cologne that still clung to his skin now. It was nice, easy, and he never wanted to move again. 

“Can we stay here?”

“The water will get cold, our skin wrinkly, and it’ll get boring,” Derek muttered. 

“So? It’s nice,” Stiles murmured hitting his knee in protest. 

“Whatever tickles your fancy,” Derek murmured with closed eyes. 

Stiles rolled his own resting against him but Derek was right in the end when the hot water turned lukewarm and it grown boring. He wriggled out of his grasp as he got out and grabbed a towel wrapping it around his waist. Derek washed himself before joining him and Stiles wandered around the kitchen in search of food.

“Dude, your fridge is…obscene!” he said picking out the mango yoghurt and carrot sticks with a wrinkle of his nose. 

“It’s good to stay healthy.”

“Rabbit food, where are your takeout menus?”

“Second drawer on the left.”

“We’re having good food, not your shit,” Stiles muttered walking over to him and gesturing it at him till he took with a sigh. 

“You’re ruining me,” Derek mumbled scanning through it.

“Ditto,” Stiles murmured meeting his eyes with a small smile. 

In the end they ordered one pizza, one garlic bread, two sets of fries, and a large coke for the pair of them when they settled on the couch. Stiles wore Derek’s spare sweatpants and clothes and smirked behind his hand when he eyed him with a lust in his eyes.

“You like it don’t you?”

“What?”

“Little old me wearing your clothes.”

“I don’t mind,” Derek muttered trying to remain nonchalant about it. 

Stiles ended putting on Iron Man and leant against his chest once again. He jumped up when the food arrived. It was a guy he recognised but never spoken to when he yanked open the door and handed over the money. 

“Greenburg, right?” he said grabbing the food off him. “I know you from school.”

“Yeah,” he said with a nod looking him up and down. “I’ve seen you in school and I’m on the team.”

“Oh yeah! You’re the guy who broke his nose and leg…sorry about Jackson dude. He’s a total asshole but…it didn’t ruin your looks,” Stiles complimented him waiting for the change and saw the flush on his cheeks when he handed it over to him. 

“Thanks, I guess, I didn’t know you lived here.”

“Oh! I don’t, just a friend,” Stiles lied looking over his shoulder to see Derek watching them with narrowed eyes. “So are you trying again this year?”

“Sure! Why not, not going to let Jackson or…the coach scare me away,” he muttered biting his lip and shrugging his shoulders. “Well I better go…got lots of pizzas to deliver. It was good seeing you.”

“Yeah you too, Greenburg, and I’m sure I’ll see you in school you –” he said cheerfully and looked up at Derek who appeared with a huff. 

“Bye!” Derek said staring at Greenburg who looked scared when the door slammed in front of his face. 

“What the hell was that?” Stiles demanded staring at him stunned. 

Derek didn’t answer when he grabbed the two boxes, white bag, and bottle of coke off him walking back towards the couch. 

“Was…that some jealous outburst!?” Stiles demanded with a snort of laughter.

“No that was you flirting with the pizza boy!”

“What?! No, I wasn’t, he’s from my school, and Greenburg is okay, a little odd, he has like the biggest crush ever on our coach. It’s the weirdest thing, they have an odd relationship. Why would I flirt when I have you?” Stiles said sitting down and looking over to him amused when Derek glared at him. 

“You think that’s reassuring?”

“I can’t believe you’re jealous! Do you know how adorable you are?”

“No, now shut up, before I make you,” Derek warned thrusting the carton of fries at him. 

Stiles grinned behind his hand before shutting up and eating the food because his stomach rumbled demanding it. Derek looked annoyed throughout the film playing and even when they were done and he crawled over to him it wouldn’t fade. 

“Come on, Derek, stop pouting like an eight year old girl. I wasn’t flirting and anyway flirting is harmless!” he said straddling his lap and wrapping his arms around his neck. Derek was focused on the screen though and wouldn’t turn his head to look at him. Stiles sighed deeply as he moved to climb out of it when his arms wrapped around him locking him in place. 

“I didn’t like it.”

“Jealously,” Stiles said with a nod.

“Not jealously, a dislike for you flirting with other guys.”

“One month and already claiming ownership?” Stiles teased but felt it falter at the conflict building in Derek’s eyes. 

“I can’t stop you, Stiles, I just don’t like it.”

“Hey, look at me, Derek I wasn’t, I was talking to him, just…talking. I wouldn’t flirt with anyone else, why would I!?” Stiles demanded cupping his jaw and made a small sound when Derek kissed him hard. He happily kissed him back and rolled with him when Derek pinned him to the sofa to do nothing more but kiss him. Stiles could deal with that, he could deal with his lips being kiss bruised, his stubble soft but burning his cheeks, and his tongue stroking against his gently until they parted for breath. He could deal with anything right now and pass out happily.

~*~

Derek opened his eyes that next morning feeling warm, a sense of contentment filling his heart, and a full bladder. His arm was wrapped around Stiles holding him to his chest when he snored softly and drooled into the pillow. It was endearing really when he pulled away padding into the bathroom and emptying his bladder before returning to see him in the same position. He returned to the warmth and glanced at the window to see it was raining. It was nice, comfortable, and he pressed himself against Stiles who snuffled in his sleep. His fingers trailed over his stomach slowly listening to the change of his breathing pattern.

“Derek, I will kill you,” Stiles mumbled. 

“No you won’t.”

“I will, no one wakes me up without consequences, sleep is good,” Stiles muttered slapping at his fingers and rolling away. “It’s…eight am, Derek, fuck…off!” 

Derek fought down his smirk when Stiles fought him off weakly to roll away. His protests were weak when he kissed his neck and behind his ear gently liking that he could smell his own scents on him from his detergent, his soap, and his cologne. 

“Oh I hate you, go away,” Stiles whined when he was rolled onto his back and glared at him. “We didn’t go to sleep till three dude!”

“So?” 

“Sleep time is good! It’s a Saturday,” Stiles protested staring up into his eyes. “Plus I have morning breath.”

“Everyone has morning breath, Stiles,” he murmured softly kissing his neck and continuing his path in his quest to have morning sex. 

“It’s raining, day inside…for sleep” Stiles murmured glancing at the window before looking at him and sighing when he closed his eyes. Derek kissed over his stomach and smiled into the skin of it when Stiles jerked humming his protest. His fingers hooked in his briefs yanking them down and he quickly glanced at Stiles frowning with his eyes closed. It was amusing for him when he trailed his lips over his cock.

“Derek!” 

“Yes?”

“Stop it,” Stiles hissed throwing his arm over his eyes. 

“You’re turning down sex?” Derek questioned softly looking at him when Stiles lifted his arm to look at him. 

“I never said that.”

“But you’re telling me to stop?”

“I’m tired…but not for sex,” Stiles murmured spreading his legs in an obscene way now that he knew what his intent was. Derek rose up ducking down to kiss him before hooking him closer. In all honesty, he hadn’t had morning sex in a very long time, the last time was in New York when the girl stayed over and he had another round with her before she left. This was different though, this was with Stiles. Stiles was still partly wet and loose from last night when he stretched and scissored three fingers inside of him before they removed. 

Stiles was responsive and mostly tired when he rocked into him, his hands finding purchase in his hair and back of his neck when he wrapped his legs around his waist. It was slow and gentle enough when he gently rocked into him. His own orgasm was drawn out whilst Stiles was fast when he clamped up with a soft moan, his legs tightening around him, and Derek soon followed after spilling into the condom. 

“Awesome,” Stiles breathed when Derek pulled out of his body and yanked the condom off. “Can we sleep now?”

“Sex and sleep, is that all you care about?”

“Hell no, sex, sleep, food, and video games,” Stiles mumbled sleepily turning on his stomach to sleep. “Plus you.”

Derek had to smile at that when he dropped next to him feeling tired himself. His eyes closed on their own accord and sleep washed over him. His dreams a mixture of good and evil when he dreamt of being in the woods, the fire roaring behind him, and his panic alight in his chest. It all stopped though when someone took his hand and he looked over not to see Laura but Stiles. There was a smile of trust there, his fingers locked into his hand, and he moved closer to him.

“I’m here, I’m here now, and you never have to look again,” he said cupping his cheek. 

There was a terrified gratitude for him there and then in his dream when all he could smell was the fire behind them. There was a crack of a branch behind him and he turned knowing who it was. The fear crippling him when Laura pale as snow turned towards him, her long hair brushing against her shoulders, and eyes sunken and black. 

“When are you going to tell him the truth, Derek?” Laura whispered to him in the wind. “The truth about me…about the fire…how it’s all your fault?”

“I tried,” he whispered looking away from her and staring into dream Stiles’ eyes. 

“You didn’t try hard enough,” Laura whispered in his ear so he shuddered shaking his head. “When are you going to tell him? When are you going to tell him how’s it’s all your fault?!”

“No,” he murmured closing his eyes and leaning into him when dream Stiles stepped closer. 

“Your fault, your fault, your fault,” Laura chanted over and over again getting louder. “YOUR FAULT, _YOUR FAULT!”_

Derek covered his ears desperately but heard it all the same and let out his own scream of despair. He was brought back to when a slap to his cheek woke him up and he blinked sitting up breathing hard and staring at Stiles staring at him in confused horror. 

“Are you okay?” Stiles whispered touching his arm gently. 

“Yeah,” he muttered with a hard swallow pushing the sheet off him and getting up to get a drink of water. 

“Derek, you were screaming, I couldn’t wake you up,” Stiles murmured wrapping his arms around his legs when he brought them up. “What were you dreaming about?”

“Nothing,” he muttered gulping down the water. “It was nothing.”

“That’s bullshit!” Stiles cried out and standing up when he pulled on his sweatpants. “You were screaming, you’re sweating like crazy, and I know when something is wrong.”

“It’s nothing!” Derek shouted at him bringing up his defence walls and glaring at him when Stiles flinched back. 

“What can’t you tell me?”

“Lots of things!” 

“Oh, really? So I’m telling you everything I can and you’re keeping secrets from me? Cora told me…” Stiles said and trailed off when Derek chucked the empty bottle on the floor walking towards him. 

“What did she say?”

“Nothing! She – she didn’t saying, she just…told me there was a lot I didn’t know. I’m not asking for your whole life story, I’m asking for the reason why I was woken up to you screaming, Derek, you scared the shit out of me.”

“Some things are better kept in the dark.”

“Well not with us, I want to know what’s going on!” Stiles demanded moving closer to him but Derek couldn’t take it as he stepped away. His defence walls were up, concrete, solid, and his secrets locked away until he was ready. 

“No,” he said instead watching Stiles expression stumble and break watching him. 

“What do you mean no?”

“I mean, I’m not telling you, Stiles, it’s not something I’m ready to tell you. We’ve known each a month and I’m supposed to spill my guts to you?”

“No, you’re supposed to be honest about what you’re dreaming about! I can help you…”

“You can’t help me.”

“You won’t let me!” Stiles protested gesturing at him. 

“I don’t want to!” Derek shouted back watching him flinch back. “I think you should go.”

“What?” 

“You heard,” he muttered seeing the confusion shining in Stiles’ eyes. 

“You’re chucking me out?!” 

“I’m asking you to go home, Stiles, do your homework, see your dad, I don’t care.”

“God if I knew you’d be this much of a fucking asshole I wouldn’t have bothered!” he shouted at him. 

Stiles’ jaw clenched when he glared at him before swallowing hard and getting his things together before leaving the loft. The door slammed behind him leaving Derek standing there as he stared at the floor with a heavy heart. The sweat left his skin feeling damp when he sat on the bed and scrubbed his hands down his face feeling like the asshole Stiles called him. His cigarettes were welcoming when he smoked one and did the stupid thing when instead of getting a bottle of water he got the whiskey. 

The minutes and hours passed by and by two in the afternoon he was drunk and lying on his bed spread eagle. Cora was nowhere to be seen and his phone quiet from texts when he grabbed it and went through his contacts till he found his number. His thumb pressed on the call button and waited hearing it ring and ring till he got his voicemail. 

_“Hey this is the one and only Stiles, leave some words and I may call you back!”_

Derek swallowed hard when the beep went off. “I’m sorry, Stiles.” 

He ended the call and tossed the phone to the side when his stomach churned. It only meant one thing when he rolled to the side and ran to the bathroom. His mouth burnt something rotten when he gagged and vomited into the toilet. His body convulsing and heaving by the time he was done and he had collapsed on the floor heavily. His mouth tasted of puke and whiskey when he swallowed hard and closed his eyes. He drifted in and out of sleep and grunted unimpressed when hands tugged at him.

“Fuck sake, Derek,” he heard familiar and annoyed when he opened his eyes to see Cora above him when he deposited on the bed. “What the hell have you done?”

“Go away,” he muttered turning on his side. 

“Where’s Stiles?”

“I shouted at him, told him to go away,” he murmured tugging the blanket over his shoulder. 

“Oh you…asshole,” she hissed at him before walking away to get him water and put it on the side. “I hope you wake up with a hangover. I then want you to call him and make it up to him. Whatever it was, it can be fixed.”

Cora left him alone when she headed up the stairs and he closed his eyes smelling Stiles on the pillow next to him. It was like a kick to his stomach when he closed his eyes and hated himself even more. It was the worst feeling in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh it all goes wrong and this is just the beginning of the medium angst. I promise...it gets so much worse. :)
> 
> Feedback is appreciated!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for comments and kudos.
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated!

Stiles sniffed glaring at the screen and at the characters of The Notebook with disdain. It was ridiculous and he hated how he was here instead of with Derek. His eyes automatically went to his side to see Lydia looking at him with a raised eyebrow. 

“What?” he said pushing his face into her pillow and inhaling the smell of jasmine and lavender. 

“Just wondering why you’re looking like someone ran over your dog. I know you don’t have one and the moment you got here you just said hello and stormed upstairs. The silence is boring now,” she said turning on her side to face him.

They were currently lying on her bed, one of her films playing in the background, and it didn’t feel weird. She was the only person who knew what was going on and he couldn’t go to Scott or Allison or anyone else to wallow. Stiles sighed deeply as he sat up and fiddled with the string on his pants. 

“I had nowhere else to go! Scott doesn’t know, I can’t tell my dad, and I can’t tell Allison or anyone else because they wouldn’t understand. You’re the only one who knows,” Stiles explained looking at her. “Derek and I had an argument, he had a nightmare, woke up screaming, and I couldn’t wake him up. I asked him to tell me what happened and he…he threw up his walls, shut me out, told me to leave. He was an asshole.”

“No relationship is perfect and everyone has their secrets,” Lydia said with a shrug. 

“I know we’re getting to know each other but I’ve got a feeling he’s keeping a lot from me. Cora warned me about it, that there’s a lot I don’t know about.”

“You think he’s going to tell you everything straight away?”

“No,” he protested with another heavy sigh. 

“It’s been what…a month? I have a longer relationship with my face cream, Stiles, you just need to be patient and realise how much of a mess Derek Hale is,” she said flicking her eyes to the television. “He’s like a closed book and you may have read the first chapter but you still have a long way to go. Derek Hale, the man who is an orphan, his family burnt to death in a fire, he left here with two sisters and only returned with one who hangs around on street corners acting like a crack whore.”

“Hey!” he protested glaring at her when she sat up and looked at him. “Cora is not a crack whore. I don’t want to know everything about him, what’s the fun of that? I just want to know why the nightmare had him screaming and…what he can’t tell me.”

“Well give him time,” Lydia said slapping his arm. “Fancy making margaritas?”

“Seriously?”

“Sure,” Stiles muttered with a shrug following her out when they went downstairs and he sat in the kitchen. “Where’s your mom?”

“Who knows,” she murmured with a shrug. “Shopping, pedicure, drinking till she vomits.” 

“Fun stuff, you sure you don’t mind me being here?”

Lydia gave him a look and he inhaled deeply with a nod. “Okay, margaritas it is then!”

The end result was the two of them back in her room whilst he sipped from a glass and she painted his toes black and red. It was the surrealist thing he could think of and he watched her thoughtfully when she worked silently. 

“How’s your love life? Don’t give me that look,” he said when her “I will kill you” eyes shot up at him. 

“My love life is none of your business.”

“So you and Jackson are…off?” he questioned smacking his lips together. “I’m letting you paint my toes! My morals have gone out of the window and exploded in the air. You have to tell me something, I told you about Derek and me.”

“You told me nothing, you told me you had an argument, you’ve me told me nothing else.”

“What? What else do you want, a detailed image of the two of us fucking against the bathroom wall?” he said with a scoff. 

“No but thanks for telling me you’re finally fucking,” she said with a smirk when he blushed slapping a hand over his eyes. “Jackson…is Jackson. He doesn’t know what he wants. He’d rather date a whore than me.”

“Then he’s a bigger idiot, asshole, and bastard then I thought he was. You deserve so much more,” he said softly watching her swallow and shrug her shoulders. 

“I’ve moved on.”

“Oh yeah, who?”

“Guys, freshman, juniors, seniors who cares?” she murmured moving onto his left foot. “It’s just fooling around and…sex at the end of the day.”

“You deserve _more,_ ” he said sitting up and looking her in the eyes. “So much more.”

“I could say the same for you. I get it with the looks and the sexy mysteriousness of him but…Derek Hale?” she said straightening up to get her own glass and taking a sip. 

“He’s more than what people say he is.”

“What did he do only hours ago?”

“Who’s the one said relationships aren’t perfect?” he argued raising an eyebrow at her so she huffed resuming to paint his nails. 

“We’re both in crappy relationships, if we can call them that, do you love him?”

Stiles paused for thought before taking a gulp and shrugged. “I don’t know. What the hell is love?”

“It’s that feeling…like being shot but you enjoy it,” she muttered and smirked when he stared at her incredulously. “Love is complicated, Stiles, it’s not like the films, all romance, bliss, sex continuously, and happily ever after. That’s more lust and when that’s over…it’s the hard gooey stuff left behind. It’s not as bad as people make out but it’s something you got to work at.”

“Are you speaking from experience?” 

“My own? I don’t know. My mom and dad’s? Yes.” 

“I don’t know if I love him, well not yet anyway, but maybe one day?” he murmured wiggling his toes when she was done. “For now, I just want to get to know him better, get underneath and see what he’s hiding. Whatever it is…he wants it hidden forever.”

“Have you told him everything?”

“Nope!” Stiles cried popping the “p” and meeting her judging eyes. “I will tell him!”

“Then you can’t judge him for not telling you. They’re done, can I do your nails?”

“Ha, no way, toes can be hidden, these babies cannot,” he said wriggling his fingers and looking at her television when she joined him sitting by his side. “We should just date instead.”

Lydia’s smile flicked to an amused smile when she gave him a sidelong glance. “I don’t think so.” 

“Rude,” he muttered giving her a glare when he downed the rest of his margarita and grimaced shaking his head. “Vile but satisfying.”

Lydia hummed in agreement pouring him another glass. It didn’t take long at all to feel a tipsy edge to him when he snuggled into the pillow and Lydia put on, The Vow, this time to watch instead. It was nice to sit here and talk with her without judgement and to know that she somewhat understood. There was a guilty pang to his chest when he thought of Scott still in the unknown but for now it was all good. 

~*~

Scott was doing his sit ups in his bedroom when a knock on the front door went. He frowned knowing it wasn’t Allison who was spending time with her parents for the day. His mind immediately jumped to Stiles and he eagerly ran down the stairs to open it and paused. 

“Sheriff?” he questioned in surprise.

“Hey, Scott, is Stiles there?”

“Um, no…” he said trailing off when he nodded stepping inside the house. 

“Your mom?”

“Nope, in work, is everything okay? Is Stiles okay?!” he demanded shutting the door.

“So I’m guessing you haven’t heard from him either,” he said turning towards him, his facial expression tired but determined, but his eyes spoke a different story. They were conflicted with too many emotions, anger, confusion, upset, and tiredness. 

“Not today, no, he’ll, um, he’ll be with...someone,” Scott said sitting down on the couch to see him sitting opposite him. 

“Do you know who it is?”

“Not a clue, he won’t tell me, and that’s a big thing for Stiles because he tells me everything. There are only…three times when he has kept something from me.”

“What are they?”

“The first one was…Claudia,” he said seeing John flinch back a little but nod. “He didn’t tell me for weeks that she was dying, I got it out of him when he broke down crying. The second time was when he broke my brand new Xbox and avoided me for days. The third time is this. He said he’ll me when he’s ready and I’m sure he will.”

“Right, I’m just…worried about him. Do you have any idea who it could be?”

Scott shrugged twisting his hands together. “No idea, I know it’s a guy, older than us by the looks of it because it’s no one in school.”

“How do you know it’s a guy?”

“Well it’s obvious, Sheriff, he has stubble burn, marks on his neck, and…walks with a limp some of the time.”

There was confusion there when John looked at him. “What do you mean a…limp?”

“Well…you know,” he said indicating his head. “Stiles is bi-sexual and…I don’t want to say it because…you know but…a limp from…”

Scott wanted to curl up in embarrassment gesturing with his hands and saw the realisation hit John who put a hand to his mouth and nodded. 

“He’s having sex.”

“I think so,” Scott murmured swallowing the lump. “I can’t be sure but a guy I know in school, Danny Mahealani, he’s gay and he was the one who clued me to the limp and everything else.” 

“He told me he wasn’t,” John muttered rubbing his forehead. “Oh…great, just great.”

“Stiles keeps things to himself for a reason, an important reason, I’m sure he’ll tell us soon who it is.” 

“Sure,” John murmured with a nod giving him a small sad smile before standing up and moving to leave the house. “Thanks, Scott, you’ve been a great help.”

Scott bit his lip hard and nodded feeling that he made things worse than better. John left the house heading to his car and it was up to Scott to run back upstairs and grab his cell. It rang twice before Stiles answered.

“Scotty!”

“Stiles? Are you drunk? It’s one in the afternoon!”

“I’m with Lydia, dude, old buddy old pal, you-you should come join us! Bring Ally Al!” he said with a loud laugh and Scott could faintly hear Lydia laughing in the background. 

“Stiles, listen to me dammit it! Your dad has just been here questioning me about your mystery fella,” Scott said closing his eyes and pacing the room.

“Wait, what? Oh shit, my dad!” Stiles cried loudly. “I just came straight here, oh he’s going to kill me. What – what did he say?” 

“Nothing much, questioned where you are, who the person is, and I may have told him that you’re…having sex.”

“WHAT!?” Stiles shouted deafening him. “Scott! Fuck!” 

“I’m sorry! He wanted to know! I told him it was some dude, it’s kind of obvious, and you walked with a limp sometimes! Unless a girl is pegging you,” Scott said in wonder and grimaced at Stiles drunken swearing. 

“Are you…Scott, fuck, you just told my dad I’m having sex after I convinced him I’m not! You also told him I’m with a guy, which is true, they both are, but…oh my god he’s going to roast me like a chicken! Lydia, stop laughing! Scott, I got to go!” Stiles cried before hanging up. 

“Shit,” Scott swore softly looking at the now dead call and tossing his phone on the bed. In the end he dropped on the bed lying down and closed his eyes with a sigh. Things had been strained between him and Stiles for a while now with the mystery guy coming in and snatching him up. He has his suspicions but couldn’t point it on anyone. It was Danny who clued him when he pinned him in the library one day. 

He wouldn’t deny that was worried about him and wished Stiles would just tell him who it was. The more he thought about it, the more he worried, and the more he wondered who it could be and how bad they could be not to tell him the truth. It was maddening and he sighed deeply staring up at the ceiling. Allison wouldn’t be free for hours leaving him hours to kill when he grabbed his 3DS and started up a new game. He was a good twenty minutes into it when someone hammered on his door. 

Scott ran down again and opened the door this time to the second member of the Stilinski clan when Stiles stumbled in reeking of tequila. 

“Shit, Stiles,” he muttered wrapping an arm around his waist keeping him steady when he hauled him to the kitchen. “What the hell?”

“Lydia, margaritas, good times, argument with…well…” he said indicating his head and leaning his body against the counter. “Did – did you really tell my dad I had sex?”

“Yeah, kind of, I’m sorry,” he pleaded when Stiles groaned covering his face.

“I’m seventeen! He’s the Sheriff, my dad, and he’s going to kill me! He’s all about the law and underage sex and showing me bananas and condoms,” Stiles mumbled into his hands.

Scott poured him a glass of water and sat him down when he slid it over. “You said you had a fight with the mystery guy?”

“Yeah, argument, it’s why I went to Lydia.”

“Why?”

“Just did,” Stiles murmured with a shrug. 

“Why? Why didn’t you come to me? I thought you and Lydia didn’t talk and she only wanted you when she wanted something or knew something.”

Stiles looked up at him guiltily before looking down at his glass and it hit him hard when he realised. 

“Wait, does Lydia know who it is?”

“She figured it out!”

“What?! So, wait, Lydia knows, but me, your best friend of like ten years and more doesn’t?!” Scott demanded glaring at him. “Stiles!”

“I’m sorry,” Stiles murmured with a pout. “Scott, please, just listen to me.”

“No, shut up,” Scott cried pointing a finger at him. “The only way you can redeem this is if you tell me who it is.”

“What! No, you – you just told my dad I’m having sex!” 

“It just slipped out!”

“Yeah, like a lot of things!” Stiles said gesturing at him. “You’ll freak.”

“Just tell me!”

“Fine!” Stiles shouted at him and inhaled deeply. “The person I’ve been seeing for a month, having sex with on a daily basis, and getting to know is…Derek Hale.”

The silence in the kitchen was deafening when Scott stared at him and Stiles burped silently looking down at his glass. 

“Derek Hale,” Scott repeated staring at him when he nodded. “Is this some sort of…diversion for the real person?”

“Why – why would I do that?” Stiles protested with a weak chuckle. “It’s Derek, he’s my mystery guy…I thought it was kind of obvious.”

“Well it is now!” he said closing his eyes in horrified realisation. “Derek fucking Hale, Stiles? Seriously?! The guy is a nut job!”

“Hey! No, no, he’s not, Scott, he’s not a nut job, he’s not this…psycho that the stupid people of this stupid town make him out to be!” Stiles said struggling up and moving to stand near him. “He’s…awesome, he’s moody and grumpy sometimes but he’s caring, he looks out for me, takes care of me, and he loves his sister. We argued before but…it was over secrets.” 

“Stiles, but of all people…”

“He’s the best, you know how long I’ve liked him, Scott, I liked him, you liked Allison, and we got them!”

“It’s not the same.”

“It’s exactly the same!”

“Allison and I are the same age, kind of, she was held back a year meaning she’s eighteen but we’re the same age. Derek is what…twenty five!?”

“No, dude, he’s twenty two and I’m seventeen but I’m eighteen in two months! That’s only a five year age difference.” 

Scott could feel the protests on the tip of his tongue but the earnest expression on Stiles’ expression stopped him. Stiles sighed deeply patting his shoulder before stepping away. 

“Can I nap on your couch? I can’t face my dad drunk.”

“Sure,” Scott mumbled watching him stumble away and hit head on the couch.

The conflict was like a burning in his chest when he checked on him after ten minutes to see him snoring on the couch. His overprotectiveness for him was like a flare gun in his heart when he watched him and knew that no matter what he said or even did that Stiles would still date him. It wasn’t like he wanted that for him at all to be honest. He’d be lying to himself if he denied that in the last five weeks Stiles had been happier, lighter, a general sense of excitement around him. Stiles was happy and who was he to take that away? 

Scott sighed softly sitting on the floor next to the couch and turned the television on keeping it quiet. He didn’t want him to choke on his vomit if he did and it gave him time to think when he listened to Stiles quiet snoring in his ear. 

~*~

The problem with being drunk is sleeping excessively and sleeping through an entire day. Derek was partly hungover when he woke up with a dry mouth that tasted of vomit, whiskey, and sleep, his eyes tired and dry, and his body one achy mess. It was seven am the next morning when he sat up and swore softly. His cell phone was empty of messages or missed phone calls. 

“Fuck,” he murmured pushing up to get some Advil and popped three in his mouth before swallowing them down with juice. He turned when Cora appeared staring at him, her arms folded over her chest, and a judging look on her face. 

“Don’t even start.”

“So it’s only been a month and you’ve gone and chucked him?”

Derek swallowed hard chucking the rest down the sink and shook his head. “No, I chucked him out of the loft, not my life, it was an argument. I – I had a stupid nightmare and he wanted to know what it was.”

“Did you tell him?”

“No, I chucked him out.”

“Why didn’t you tell him?” 

“Because I didn’t want to!”

“You have to tell him sometime,” Cora argued following him with her eyes. “Derek, you have to be honest with him.”

“I don’t have to do shit!” he protested grabbing his carton of cigarettes and pulling one out. “It’s been a month.”

“So? Do you want a future with him?”

“I don’t know!” he shouted at her watching her glare at him not taking his bullshit. “Why are you getting so involved?”

“I’m trying to stop you from being ignorant and an asshole and chucking away the one person in your life who apart from me gives a shit!” she shouted chucking a newspaper at his head. “Your lowlife friends don’t give a shit! They’re too wrapped up in their own lives to care about yours but Stiles does, he gives one, so realise that before you lose him.”

Derek frowned watching her pull back with a sharp exhale before moving away to make food. He felt sick when he continued smoking and stubbed it out before going to get a shower and brush his teeth. He felt fresher when he emerged later and got dressed into clothes that didn’t smell like sweat and vomit. Cora was gone with a simple note left on his bed.

**SORT YOUR SHIT OUT! ******  
Don’t lose him over something so stupid! ****  
I’ll see you later. ****  
C. X

She was right of course and he sighed deeply grabbing his phone and looking at the time. It was nearly nine and he’d hopefully be up. The phone rang over and over again always reaching voicemail till he rang the fourth time.

“Oh I hate you, I absolutely hate you, what the hell do you want?” Stiles hissed down the phone.

“I need to see you.”

“Oh do you now? Well yesterday you didn’t.”

“That was then, this is now, I need to see you,” Derek muttered looking out of the window.

“It’s Sunday!”

“Yes, well done.”

“Oh you fucking…” Stiles grumbled shifting around in bed from the shifting in the sheets. “The loft?”

“No, out, do you want to get breakfast?”

“Fine, but you’re paying, and I’m having two coffees! Come pick me up,” Stiles snapped before ending the call. 

Derek counted that as a win when he pocketed the cell before grabbing his jacket and heading out there. He parked down the street when he arrived sending him a message that he was here. He leaned back in the seat watching as Stiles walked down wearing a red hoodie, the hood over his head, and his hands stuffed into the pockets. 

“I’m surprised you rang.”

“Didn’t you get my message?”

“Stiles, I’m sorry, yeah, because that makes a difference,” Stiles muttered with a grunt. 

“I didn’t mean it.”

“Yes you did, you meant to chuck me out and shout at me.”

Derek kept his silence when he drove them out to get a McDonald’s breakfast this time. Stiles was quiet next to him when they got there and moved inside. Derek got them both a breakfast and a coffee each before sitting across from him and waiting till Stiles looked at him.

“What?”

“I’m sorry…for chucking you out, shouting at you, and keeping you out. I just wasn’t ready to tell you and I’m still not ready. But I will,” he said in what he hoped was a reassuring voice. 

“I know,” Stiles said chewing through his food before brushing his hands. “Two things happened last night. I told Scott about us and my dad found out that…well that I’m having sex and he’s pissed.”

Derek blinked attempting to digest that new information. “Um, okay.”

“Scott is a little wary but he’s not going to do anything or say anything. Dad is…pissed but I think the box of condoms on the kitchen table this morning is a summary of how he really feels.”

Derek choked on his coffee and narrowed his eyes at Stiles’ smirk. 

“Right, okay, does this mean I’m forgiven?”

“Nope,” Stiles muttered with a shake of his head. “You can make it up to me.”

“How?”

“Be creative,” Stiles muttered taking a sip of his coffee before eating the rest of his breakfast. 

The pain in his chest and guilt in his heart eased a little with that confirmation from Stiles and he ate slowly still feeling the effects of drinking last night. 

“I got drunk last night,” Stiles muttered.

“What? You did?” Derek said stunned. 

“Yeah! I guess you did as well from those bags and the fact you’re pale.”

“The moment you left I started drinking.”

Stiles looked surprised when he met his eyes and let out a long sigh. “I was on the margaritas with Lydia an hour later. You really know how to drive me to drink honey.”

Derek rolled his eyes when he sat back feeling queasy but drank his coffee all the same. Stiles looked a little better despite the early morning and they emptied their trays before walking back to the car. It was when they got in that Stiles grabbed his jacket yanking him towards him. Derek kissed him back almost immediately when he cupped the back of his neck and pulled back to stare into his eyes. 

“That’s better,” Stiles murmured and smiled when he pulled him back in. Derek breathed in his warm scent and his lungs ached a little for air when he pulled back from sharing soft kisses with him. Stiles was flushed and satisfied when he sat back in his seat and licked his lips. 

“That’s ten per cent of my forgiveness for you.”

“Ninety to go,” Derek muttered turning on the engine and driving them out of there. 

“Where are we going?” 

“Park,” he answered simply watching him jerk and look over to him. 

“Going to push me on the swing?” he teased and smirked when Derek frowned at him. 

“No, it saves going back to the loft.”

“Why? I hear make up sex is awesome!” 

Derek licked his lips and nodded in agreement glancing over to Stiles who straightened, a curious look in his eyes when he looked over to him, and pointed between them. 

“Is there a reason we’re going the park?” he muttered. “Are we going to romp in the bushes?”

“You have a crude way of putting things.”

“I’ve never had sex outdoors,” Stiles murmured softly tapping his nails on his thighs. “I’ve heard about it and…well got a detailed story of Scott and Allison’s trip. They got a little too playful and broke the tent.”

Derek didn’t reply as he drove them onwards and half listened to Stiles rambling next to him. In all honesty he was glad to get there and park so he could get out and breathe in the fresh air. It was early on a Sunday morning which meant no one was around and no one would be. The park wasn’t that open, boring, the play area ruined, and it was exactly what Derek liked about it. Stiles trailed after him when he locked the car after him. 

“So, seriously, why are we here? It’s boring, no one comes here.”

“Exactly.”

Stiles looked at him with a raised eyebrow before following after him when they cut across the grass. Derek watched as Stiles skipped ahead of him and made a beeline for the swing like an excited kid. There was an amused tickle to the back of his throat when he watched Stiles kick off the ground swinging back and forth grinning at him. 

“Do I get ice cream after this?”

“I’ll give you something to lick alright.”

“Was – was that an innuendo?!” Stiles mock whispered and laughed when Derek aimed a kick at him. “Oh so dirty, I’ll lick that if you want as well.” 

Stiles stopped swinging when he stood in front of him and kissed him back when he ducked down. His lips were warm against his in the cold weather and he happily kissed him till Stiles was breathless clinging to his hips. Derek hooked him closer when he pulled him off the swing and let him wrap his arms around his neck loosely. It was about reassuring him but also reassuring himself when he pressed his tongue into his mouth tasting his coffee from earlier. He was responsive and eager when he pressed closer to him and he wished he could take back yesterday. 

“Fuck the park, let’s go back to your loft,” he whispered against his lips meeting his eyes. 

“It’s too far,” Derek urged gripping his hand and tugging him with him. There was an excited gleam to Stiles’ eye when he walked with him and Derek dragged him somewhere hidden and better than an open park. There was no one around but who knows if someone running or walking their dog could pass by. 

He wanted it enough when he hauled Stiles against him when he squeaked in surprise and they tumbled to the ground. 

“Fuck!” Stiles said with a burst of laughter. “This ground is hard.”

“I have something else which is hard,” Derek murmured against his cheek and fought down his smile the best he could when Stiles chuckled seeking his lips. 

“Quick fuck in the dirt, true love,” Stiles whispered with another chuckle. 

The words made something inside of Derek halt for just a moment before he carried on kissing him hard as they worked at each other’s clothing. He thanked everything for bringing a condom and lube with him in his pocket when they removed the clothes they needed to. The air was still cold around them when he pressed Stiles into the ground. They were hidden by trees and the ground underneath them covered in grass when they moved against each other. 

Stiles panted underneath him when they made quick work with removing jeans and briefs and he pressed a finger up inside of him. He was hot around his fingers when he worked Stiles open enough for his cock and Stiles swore gripping the grass underneath him. 

“I swear if my grass stains don’t come out,” Stiles warned ripping open the condom with his teeth before doing the job and sliding it onto Derek’s cock. 

“I’ll pay the bill,” he whispered lining up when he cupped his ass, pulling his cheeks apart, and pushed inside of him. 

Stiles groaned squeezing his eyes shut and nodded appreciatively. “Oh god, yes, fuck me, just do it!”

Derek could obey to that when he pistoled his hips forward fucking into him relentlessly and relishing every moan and pant from Stiles. Stiles was greedy for him when his hands slapped against his ass forcing him in deeper and encouraging him. 

“Come on, harder!” Stiles hissed and bit into his lip exposing his throat for his teeth and lips. “God, you’re an animal! Do you need to mark me up?”

“Yes,” Derek murmured smugly snapping his hips forward striking his prostrate and smirking when Stiles cried out digging his nails into his ass cheeks. They rocked together perfectly and Derek could feel his impending orgasm building in his balls. His hands dug into the grass when he thrust into him harder till he felt it spike. Derek groaned pressing his mouth against his temple and cheek flooding the condom with his come. Stiles panted underneath him still hard and eager when he pulled out and immediately went for his cock. 

“Oh shit!” Stiles swore gripping his head and hair when Derek took him down to the root. Stiles didn’t last long when he bobbed his head up and down his cock, his tongue doing most of the work when he trailed it down the length, and sucked on the head. He gave his warning in a low guttural groan when he flooded his mouth with his come. 

Derek swallowed it all and eased off him to rip the condom off and toss it into the bushes. Stiles watched him amused as they adjusted pulling their clothes back on, sweat clinging to their hot and cold bodies. His eyes were light with amusement and lust when he pulled on his briefs and jeans to move up and kiss him. 

“Fifty per cent now.”

Derek smiled faintly staring at the ground before meeting his eyes. “I will tell you, just not yet.”

“That’s good enough for me, I just want the reassurance you will tell me. I know we’re getting to know each other and I’m keeping my own secrets as well but…it’s good to know that I have something to uncover,” Stiles said with a shrug. “You scared the shit out of me though. I’ve never saw that side of you and you can’t shoot me down when I worry about it.”

“You don’t have to worry about me.”

“Someone has to,” Stiles murmured meeting his eyes and smiling fondly for a second before patting his shoulder and standing up to brush himself down. “My dad is so going to kill me, look at this grass stain.” 

Derek did his belt feeling a lump in his throat he couldn’t force down when he stood up to brush himself down. The forgiveness, the open fondness and honesty in Stiles’ eyes when he looked at him, and the sincerity of caring for him made something inside Derek clench. It was the weirdest feeling and a small part of him was telling him to run and keep on running. This was dangerous and he didn’t quite know how to handle it. 

“Hey, you okay?” Stiles questioned pointing at his chest. 

“Yeah, fine,” he muttered desperately trying to shatter the ache in his chest and kissed him chastely before pulling back. “Let’s go.”


	9. Chapter 9

Stiles was like a thunderstorm in his life. That anticipation, the tinge of excitement and dread, the not knowing what was coming first. He had arrived and he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon and Derek half wanted it and half wished he gave up and left. It was insane from what was bumping into him on the street and buying him to alcohol to pushing him down into his bed to kiss him, hold him, have sex, and be consumed by him. It was scary and exciting but at the same time it was like he couldn’t breathe. Stiles was there all the time when he wasn’t in school, at home, or with Scott and it sometimes was a little overbearing. 

It had been a total of two months now since everything happened and March arrived bringing in the cusp of spring. Winter was slowly coming to an end and he was beginning to feel the heat of California he knew and loved. It was the weekend and he was relieved to get a text from Isaac informing him of a night out. It was exactly what he needed and he bit his lip when Stiles text him asking him if he could come round. He pressed the green button to call him. 

“Hey!” Stiles said in greeting.

“Hi, no plans tonight, well not for us, I’m going out with a few friends.”

“Oh,” Stiles muttered and sighed. “Friday night on my own. You suck.”

“I know,” he murmured turning towards the window. “I thought you liked that.”

“Don’t be cute, can I not come with?”

“Are you over twenty one?”

“No, but I got a good fake ID,” Stiles said slowly and teasingly. “Don’t leave me alone! My dad is talking to me about watching reruns of CSI. You can’t do this to me. He’s all about spending time with me and slyly questioning me about you and he doesn’t even know who you are yet!” 

“Where’s Scott?”

“He’s with Allison!” 

“Lydia?”

“Lydia goes out at the weekend, finds the first most attractive man, and fucks him!” Stiles protested with a long tiresome sigh. “Are you really going to leave me alone?”

“Yes, you can survive.” 

“I can’t,” Stiles whined sounding muffled. 

“Yes, you can, I’m going, but I’ll text you.”

Derek ended the call on Stiles’ weak protests and chucked it on the bed before he got ready. It was going to be good to get out for the first time in weeks. Everyone had been busy, Isaac with his work and lack of time, Erica and Boyd being separated with her suspicions and his denial over accusations of an affair and cheating. They were only recently back together and Derek rolled his eyes throughout the story of how they argued before coming together in a vicious kiss and fuck against the floor. It was the first time the four of them could be out together. 

Derek spent the hours waiting reading and watching television before getting ready at nine that evening. He dressed casually but nicely enough to out in a navy shirt and his tight jeans. It wasn’t like he was out to impress anyone. He brushed his toothbrush through his mouth and jumped when he looked up to see Cora there watching him. 

“You look nice, are you finally going to wine and dine, Stiles?”

“No, going out, not with him,” he answered dabbing at his mouth with a towel before sniffing deeply to clear his throat and stare at his reflection. “The others.”

“Is he not coming with you?” Cora questioned with a raised eyebrow watching him when he walked out and brushed past her. 

“He’s seventeen, he’d never get in, not even with a fake ID.” 

“So? Sneak him in!”

“I want one night away from him, he’s always here,” Derek argued looking up at her and sighed when she shot him a judging look. “One night, is that okay with you, little sister?”

“You’re such an asshole!”

“Yeah, right back at you,” he snapped grabbing his jacket, cell phone, and keys. 

“I’m just waiting for the moment Stiles realises it and leaves you, you fuck!” she shouted at his back when he slammed the door closed behind him. 

Derek was seething when he got outside and into his car slamming it behind him hard and breathing out slowly. He sped all the way to Erica’s ignoring the beep from cars he sped past and heard his wheels squeal when he got there and parked. Erica let him when he buzzed and immediately snatched the bottle of vodka out of her hand.

“Where’s the fire?”

He glared at her till she shrugged and turned on her red heels.

“Okay, bad joke, but seriously, what’s your problem?” she said facing him hands on her hips. She was wearing a low cut dress showing off her legs and emphasising her breasts. It did nothing to him as he sat down and unscrewed the cap to take a gulp. The burn was nice when he gasped and shook his head.

“My little sister being a bitch,” he muttered. 

“Cora? You two are always fighting.”

“She said something a little too close to home and…she’s probably right.” 

“Again, you two are always fighting, you’ll make it up to each other,” she said grabbing her mirror and red lipstick when she painted it on to her lips. “Now stop hogging the vodka.”

“Where are the others?”

“Boyd and Isaac are meeting us there, we’ll get a cab in.”

“I just want to get very, very, drunk,” he murmured rubbing a hand into his hair. “So I can forget everything.”

“Why? You and your lover boy had a fight as well?”

“Why do you care?” Derek questioned raising his head to look at her. 

“Just curious about why we are yet to meet him,” she said with a smirk looking over her shoulder at him. “Why didn’t you bring him?”

“Because he’s seventeen.”

Erica huffed out a cold laugh finishing her makeup and wiped her hands before standing up. Derek watched as she grabbed her black leather jacket and pulled it on before grabbing her clutch bag. The cab was ten minutes late to his frustration when he made sure his car was locked before getting in with her. They drove to town and chose the usual club to meet up in. It was early in the night for all of them when they got inside and Erica was smug with the looks from both women and men eyeing her up. 

Boyd wasn’t impressed when she finally reached him and ducked down kissing him softly. Isaac waved a hand when he slid into the seat next to him and slid over a beer. The first gulp of it was satisfying when the music thumped and he kicked at Erica disturbing her make out session.

“Do not that again and I’ll cut your dick off,” she said grabbing her own beer and taking a sip. “Isaac, baby, how’s the kittens and puppies?”

“Fine,” he answered with a shrug. 

“What about this new person you have?” she questioned coyly leaning forward. “Now that you’re not fucking with him?”

Derek frowned when she rolled her eyes to him with a smirk. 

“It’s no one, it’s simply…friends with benefits, again,” Isaac replied glancing at Derek away with pink cheeks. “Plus is Derek’s even real?”

“What?” Derek asked glancing at the three of them. “Of course he’s real.”

“He’s nothing more than a quick roll in the sheets!” Erica said with a snort of laughter. “Oh come on, Derek, don’t give me that look! He’s seventeen, young, agile, fit, and constantly horny. You’ve struck the lottery but do you really think it’s going to last?”

“It’s been two months,” he argued hand clenching around the bottle. 

“He’s seventeen?!” Boyd demanded looking at Erica and Derek with wide eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was angry with you.” 

“Yes, he’s seventeen, but he’s eighteen in two months.”

“That makes no difference, you do realise if you get caught out by the Sheriff or even the cops that you’re going to prison,” she said pointing a manicured finger at him. “You’ll be bending over for the men in there instead.”

Isaac snorted with laughter next to him and he faked a smile when she giggled. 

“My personal life is no business of yours.” 

“Of course it is! That’s what friends are for, we are here to cheer you on, correct your mistakes, and make you see the error in your ways. You need someone your own age and someone who isn’t a teenager still in the height of their puberty,” Erica said with a small smile. 

Derek’s jaw clenched when he glanced at the three of them seeing agreement in their eyes. 

“So you think I should throw him away, find someone here, and fuck someone new?” he said looking over at Isaac who paused staring at him with wide eyes. 

“I don’t know, I don’t really care about who you fuck and who you don’t fuck but…a seventeen year old? Is he even in senior year yet?”

“Not yet,” he answered with a tightness in his throat. 

“Are you feeling that need to get rid of him yet?” Erica said raising an eyebrow at him when he looked over to her and found himself unable to answer. 

There was a smug and knowing laugh from Erica when he shrugged instead and the knot in his chest and stomach tightened. Boyd moved heading to go and get more drinks when he stared down at his near enough empty bottle of beer. He hated them all but liked them at the same time. Derek hated that he knew they were right because in a way it was ridiculous but they were judgemental assholes sometimes. His hand moved into his jeans yanking out his cell to see two new messages there. 

_“You’ve left me with my dad and we’re watching CSI like I said. You’re an ass!!!! Call me tomorrow early???” – Stiles. 10:05pm._

_“Sorry for calling you an asshole and a fuck, which you are btw, but sorry. X” – Cora. 10:34pm._

He ignored them both when he pocketed his cell again and settled to watch as people mingled and he grabbed the new bottle of beer drinking it down. The shots that were bought were satisfying when he downed five of them and gagged shaking his head. He was already feeling the effects of it in his system. He sniffed deeply needing a cigarette. 

Derek left them as he pushed past the numerous people to stand outside and light a cigarette. The first inhale was the best feeling in the world when he exhaled staring up at the night sky. There was no stars tonight and he shivered in the cold of the night instead. He smoked till he was satisfied and chucked it on the ground grinding it under his foot. Erica was laughing hysterically when he returned and Isaac looked embarrassed as he glanced at Derek and away.

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” she said with a hitch in her breath and wiped under her eyes amused. “Just Isaac being Isaac, I do love you.”

“I don’t love you.”

“You adore me,” she said simply with a small smile. “Where the hell did you go? Hook up with someone?”

“In five minutes?”

“It’d be a record.”

“I had a cigarette,” he muttered grabbing his new beer and didn’t care where it came from when he took a gulp. “Where’s Boyd?”

“Over there, he bumped into an old college friend,” she said nodding over to Boyd standing near the bar with his head bowed talking to an unknown person. Derek eyed him curiously through the bad light to see dark hair, good looks, he was tall, lean, well built, and in any other case would take his interest. 

“I see he’s caught your eye,” Erica hissed over to him and she flashed him an innocent smile when he glared at her. “Oh come on, do you really see your sordid fling with Stiles lasting? He, no better yet, you will get bored of him soon. One ass and cock for too long just isn’t you.”

“I thought you wanted me to be in a relationship.”

“Yes, I do, but with someone who doesn’t have homework every night,” she whispered close to his face to stroke his cheek when she stood and waltzed over to the bar. 

Derek opened his mouth to argue that but the words wouldn’t come out when he looked over to see Isaac on his phone paying no attention to him. The knot in his chest tightened enough for him to fight for breath and his mind felt like cotton wool when he stood up needing to walk. The music was loud and sweat covered his back and collarbone when he looked around and moved past the loud talking people. 

“Hey, are you okay?” a warm unfamiliar voice said grabbing his wrist gently so he turned to see the guy Boyd had been talking to. “I saw you watching Boyd and I before, are you friends with him?”

“Yeah, occasionally,” he muttered with a hard swallow before looking down at his hand still covering his wrist with raised eyebrows. 

“Oh, sorry, you just look a little out of it,” he said taking it away and holding up his hands in mock surrender. “I’m Harry by the way.”

“Derek,” he said glancing around. “I’m fine.” 

“Sure, you look it when you look nervous and sweaty,” Harry said with a small chuckle. 

Derek eyed him carefully before giving up there and then when he turned his back on him heading into the toilets. They stunk of piss, old cigarette ash and old beer intermixed, and the smell was enough to make him gag slightly. It was vile and he hated it. The mirrors were grimy when he looked at his reflection and startled turning when Harry appeared behind him. 

“Do you often stalk people?” he spat frowning at him. 

“You just walked away, I wasn’t sure if it was a signal or you were just walking away from me. I was worried though, you don’t look good.”

“Just having a reality check,” he muttered turning on the tap when he washed his hands before splashing some of the water in his face. 

“Reality check?”

“My life, my love life, everything,” he murmured inhaling deeply before looking over his shoulder at him. “I didn’t give you a signal, I walked away, and I think you should do the same thing.”

Harry ignored that when he came closer leaning against the sinks next to him. “I think you’ll find I’m a good listener. I’m a psychiatrist.”

“Do you want a medal?” Derek muttered dryly glaring at him. 

“Nope, but I’m a strange with no judgement.”

“I don’t tell my problems to strangers.”

“You should try,” Harry murmured trailing his eyes up and down him. “You’re like a wet dream for this profession.”

Derek licked his lips slowly turning to face him and looked him in the eyes. “I’m a what?”

“I can tell, I can see them afar…it’s like a gift. You’re obviously troubled, let me guess…shit childhood? Troubled past? Bad relationships? You’ve got one at home right now, whilst you are debating whether or not to go out there and find someone to fuck those troubles away. The guilt won’t fade, Derek.”

Derek didn’t even hesitate when he punched Harry hard enough for his nose to explode red, his knuckles to ache something fierce when they caught and broke his nose. Harry grunted and fell hard against the floor when he clutched at his nose staring up at him. He shook his hand out staring at the blood there before turning his attention to Harry. 

“I didn’t ask for your opinion, Harry, and don’t start probing me for information I’m not going to give. You’re lucky I don’t break something else,” he hissed and yanked a paper towel of the wall chucking it down on his chest. “You better get your nose readjusted.”

Derek shoved the bathroom door open when he walked out and people walked inside. He didn’t linger in the club and left the club wanting and needing to be on his own. The bar he found further down wasn’t as busy when he walked in and found a spare seat on the bar. 

“Whiskey,” he said to the bartender who nodded at his hand.

“You okay?”

“Fine, it’s not mine, whiskey?” he said handing him the money and smiled faintly when no more questions were asked. The whiskey was a sharp taste in his mouth when he downed it quickly. Harry’s words burnt in his brain. Cora had sometimes since New York mentioned Derek going to see a psychiatrist. He hated them, he hated how they got into your head and scrambled things up. Every little thing he wanted to keep hidden seemed to want to bubble to the surface. His family, his bad past relationships, his doubts with Stiles, and his whole life in a whole ran through his mind like a freight train when he downed his second whiskey. 

There was times when he doubted the word happiness. Cora mentioned enough times, she wanted them to be a family again, wanted him to be happy, wanted herself to be happy. It looked so far out of reach for him that even the idea made him want to laugh and continue laughing. Happiness was within his grasp but he fought against it enough times to doubt he should have it. Stiles was that happiness sometimes.

Stiles was like a thunderstorm but he was also a light at the end of a dark tunnel most of the time. He hurt his eyes when he looked at him too long and was without a doubt far too good for him. His throat was burning and his mind swimming when he looked down at the bar. He took it easier when he ordered a beer and drank it slowly. Derek looked up when a guy a little older than Stiles appeared obviously drunk and stinking of tequila leered at him. 

“You’re the hottest guy in here.”

“Oh really?” he muttered leaning back to address him. 

“Yeah, like hot, hot, hot,” he said with a hard swallow. “What’s your name?”

Derek blinked feeling slightly overwhelmed and side eyed him when he ducked closer.

“I can scream it or whisper it later on if you like,” he drawled into his ear. 

His lips pressed together in a hard line when he glanced at him. “Excuse me.”

He moved away from the bar heading into the toilets needing to piss and closed his eyes letting out a shaky exhale. The door squeaked when it opened and closed behind him when he shook and zipped himself up. 

“You know playing hard to get is hot,” the guy said when he turned around and invaded his personal space. Derek stepped back alarmed and opened his mouth wordlessly when the guy attacked his neck kissing it. Stiles automatically came to his mind when his back hit the wall and the wave of shame washed over him. He couldn’t do that to him, he couldn’t imagine the look of hurt and betrayal if this went too far, and there was no way he could stomach it. 

Derek did the only thing he could when he shoved him back so the guy stumbled hitting the sinks. 

“What the hell man!” 

“Go home, you’re drunk, you don’t even look like you should be in here.”

“Hey, I’m twenty…three,” the guy slurred at him. “Come on, it’ll be good.”

“No, go home…now, before I make sure you’re banned from every bar and club within ten miles,” he threatened and watched when he swallowed stumbling when he left the bathroom. 

Derek grimaced when he looked in the mirror and turned on the tap to splash water on his neck to wipe away the spit and remains of alcohol on his neck. It was time to call it a night when he walked out and headed outside breathing in the fresh air. He frowned deeply when he pulled out his ringing cell to see Erica’s caller ID. 

“What the hell, Derek?! You punched Harry! Boyd’s just take him to the hospital because he was found cursing your name and covered in blood!” Erica screamed down the phone. 

Derek ended the call after that not wanting to hear anymore when he called a cab to get home. His fingers reached for his cell again when he scrolled down his contacts calling the only person he wanted right now. 

“Hey,” 

~*~

Stiles was bored. It had been the worst Friday night in a while since Derek was out and he wasn’t really complaining. Everyone needed a night out but it left him with his dad watching reruns of a show he hated and dodging questions about his mystery guy. When Scott let the cat out of the bag about his lack of virginity it had been nonstop probing about whoever the guy was and was he treating him right. It was frustrating and when eleven pm hit he was relieved when his dad passed out in his chair snoring. 

He retreated to his bedroom to strip off his clothes and climb into bed to watch some films before he went to sleep. His laptop was warming up when his cell phone vibrated. 

“Derek?”

“Hey,” he said with a softness in his voice.

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I was wondering if you could get to the loft. We need to talk.”

Stiles felt something tighten in his chest when he pushed the cover off and went to grab his jeans off the floor. 

“Yeah, dad’s asleep, is everything okay?”

“Yes, I’ll see you soon.”

The call ended leaving Stiles confused and scared. There was no words worse than “we need to talk” and it was always the worst outcome. He dressed quickly and snuck out of the house choosing to walk instead of take the car. Stiles needed the fresh air really. He wasn’t scared, nothing ever happened here, and he was quick on his journey over there. Stiles arrived staring up at the building before inhaling deeply.

“Stop being a pussy,” he murmured stepping inside and heading up to the loft. He knocked waiting instead of pulling the door open and stared at Derek standing there. 

“Hi,” he muttered holding up a hand awkwardly before dropping it and sighing. “Why am I here and before you say anything I am here so you break things off with me?”

“What?”

“You just called to say get over here and we need to talk. They’re the worst four words ever!” he exclaimed looking at him desperately. “Is it? Have you gone out and saw the other male humans of this world and realised what a loser I am?”

“No, Stiles, will you shut up now?”

“Okay, shutting up,” Stiles whispered pretending to zip his lips and watched as Derek came forward stinking of whiskey and cigarettes. 

“I had a lot to think about tonight, a lot to mull…over, and a lot had to do with you. It had to do with my so called friends calling you nothing but a fling and a fuck in the night, a man I barely know telling me I’d cheat on you without a second thought and resulting in a broken nose,” he said holding his hand to show him the blood still covering his knuckles.

“Jesus, Derek,” Stiles hissed walking over to him and taking hold of his hand. “Did he hurt you?”

“No,” he reassured taking his hand away. “I then had a guy in another bar…kiss my neck.”

Stiles felt his breath caught in his throat watching Derek grimace and rub the side of his neck. This was it. This was the moment he told him that he cheated on him and Stiles knew he wouldn’t be able to cope with that. 

“I – I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t…imagine hurting you like that. I do a lot of things, I’m not the nicest guy in the world and no saint but I’m not a cheat.”

“Wow,” Stiles breathed in surprise. “I was expecting you to tell me you cheated and we’re over. I’m honestly surprised.”

“You think so little of me?”

“No but I don’t even know what we are,” Stiles said honestly fiddling with the end of his sleeve. “It’s been two months…are we dating? Are we official? I keep wanting to ask but…never the right time. Now it seems it is.” 

“Do you want us to be official?”

“Yeah, god yeah, I mean after two months of getting to know you and sleeping with you…I’d like something official but this isn’t just about me, Derek, this is about you as well. You said you mulled things over about me a lot…do you want to be in a relationship?” Stiles pressed stepping closer to him and seeing the conflict burning in his eyes. “Or are those so called friends of yours right?”

“You’re insatiable,” Derek murmured shaking his head. 

“To you?”

“Yeah,” he agreed with a nod and tilted his head back with a sigh. “I still haven’t told you everything.”

“Ditto!” Stiles exclaimed.

“I’m older than you.”

“Five years, you have a reputation, my dad and my best friend don’t like you, and you’re a grumpy asshole most of the time but some of the time you’re not like everyone thinks you are. I don’t care about that, I care about the person who gets up at eight when we’re hungover and makes bacon and eggs for us. That person is you and I really, really, like him.” he admitted honestly. “I hate how honest I am being right now. I can’t stop talking, I’m rambling actually and I’m tired. My dad kept asking –”

Derek slapped a hand over his mouth hushing him so he nodded staring into his eyes. Stiles licked his hand and grinned when Derek tugged it away wrinkling his nose in disgust. 

“So, come on, are we…boyfriend and boyfriend?” Stiles said rocking back and forth slowly. “Or…not.”

Derek was quiet as he looked towards the window before inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly when he nodded. 

“We are.” 

“We’re official?”

“Yes,” Derek answered with a roll of his eyes. 

Stiles couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his cheeks when he stared at him and couldn’t resist gripping his shirt to yank him towards him. Derek was warm against him reeking of alcohol and sweat when they kissed. His mouth wet and hot against his when they gripped at each other. 

“Holy shit! You’re my boyfriend, you of all people, it feels weird calling you it! Hell, you’re my first relationship!” Stiles exclaimed breathing hard when they parted. “Oh my god…” 

Derek rolled his eyes when he shoved him backwards and he hit the bed kissing him back. He couldn’t even question where Cora was when clothes were stripped and he was heaving for breath and desperately horny for him. Stiles ended up lost in him when Derek stretched him open till he was begging and hitting his shoulders. The first push inside of him was heaven when he clenched tightly around his cock thrusting up inside of him. 

They didn’t need to talk, they had all the time in the world for that, and Stiles by the end of their second round was sweaty, exhausted, and spent in the best way. It was the strangest feeling to be wrapped up in arms when a drunken Derek slept away the alcohol in his system. Stiles looked at him sleeping and right there and then wanted to know all his secrets. He’d fallen hard, harder than he thought he would for him, and it was the single best but worst feeling in the world. 

His sleep was on and off that night when he woke up at eight to hear Cora come in looking rough but happy. Her eyes zeroed in on them and there was a small flicker of a smile before she climbed the stairs. Stiles looked over to Derek sleeping away from him on his back and climbed out of the warm sheets to pull on his underwear and paused looking at his clothes. There was an amused twist to his mouth when he pulled on Derek’s shirt from last night. It was big on him and brushed the top of his thighs when he done it partly up. 

The coffee machine was turned on when he stood in the kitchen folding his arms over his chest and waited till the pot warmed. His presence seemed to be missed though when Derek stirred in the bed and he walked over to him.

“Coffee?”

Derek’s eyes focused on him blinking a couple of times before he tilted his head in confusion and awe. 

“You’re my wearing my shirt.”

“I’m being like the films, a sexy non woman,” Stiles said with a smirk when he gestured up and down with his hands. 

“It is sexy, come here,” Derek muttered gesturing at him to come to the bed. 

Stiles walked over to him slowly kneeling on the bed and chuckled when he pinned him to the bed and yanked it open. 

“Hungover?”

“Nope, I think I’m used to it now,” he admitted honestly kissing his chest. 

“Hey, are you sure about what you said last night?” he whispered catching his attention. 

Derek paused resting his lips against his chest before raising his eyes and meeting his. There was a pause there before he nodded wordlessly and that was enough for Stiles. He pressed his lips against his in a soft kiss before getting up and making the coffee for them both. Stiles stood in the kitchen and felt that tickle of happiness that left him elated and fearful all at the same time. Good things rarely happen without consequence and he hoped that consequence didn’t come for ages yet.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos guys!

“We’re in a relationship!” Sties explained to Scott as they fought zombies on his Xbox. “Me, little old me in a relationship with Derek freaking Hale, Scott! How are you not freaking out about this?!”

“Maybe because you’ve told me three times already and I’m happy for you, Stiles, but…like you said this is Derek Hale. He’s older than you, he has the reputation of someone who would kill you and not bat an eyelid and your dad is going to kill you when he finds out,” Scott argued with a deep sigh.

“That’s - that’s nothing because I’m eighteen in April and be legal age and…” he said trailing off when Scott gave him a sad look. “It’s not the point! Derek is not like what people think.”

“You called him an asshole an hour ago.”

“Because he is some of the time but most of the time he’s awesome! He’s kind, sometimes, and considerate and he cares about me and hell he was the one who made this official between us! I’m in a relationship with him.” 

“I know!”

“You don’t get it though!”

“I do, Stiles, believe me!” Scott cried with a roll of his eyes. 

“No you don’t because this is so much worse than liking him, Scott, I think for the first time in seventeen years of my whole entire life I have fallen in love with someone and that someone is him!” he argued back breathing hard before pulling back and biting his lip. Scott looked stunned he paused the game and stared at him with stunned eyes. 

“You’re in love with him?”

“Stupidly, yes,” Stiles muttered leaning back to hit the back of his head against the wall. “How can I not be?”

“Many reasons,” Scott murmured honestly and smirked faintly when Stiles reached out hitting his arm. “No but seriously, you love him?”

“Yeah…I really think I do, Scott, and before you argue with me you don’t know him like I know him.”

“Yeah I’m not screwing him every day,” Scott muttered and dodged out of the way when Stiles went to hit him again. 

“It’s not about the sex! Which is the best by the way, like honest to god nearly burst my eyeballs yesterday when he did this thing with his tongue and…” he said trailing off amused when Scott stuck his fingers into his ears singing loudly. “Okay! Okay, but look it’s not about that or the fact he’s stupidly hot and sexy and everything along the lines of incredibly gorgeous. He’s…different, it’s the way he looks at me when he doesn’t think I’m looking or noticing him looking. He’s also an emotionally repressed mess still keeping secrets from me but…he’s everything I could want and more.”

“You really set your standards that low?”

“Hey!” Stiles protested glaring at him. 

“Sorry, I just don’t want you to get hurt, Stiles, and I know that you love him and you’re official but I’ve just got a bad feeling.”

“You always have a bad feeling and they’re usually nothing.”

“Not this time, this is serious and you’re my best friend. If he hurts you, I will kill him, I will hurt him in every way possible,” Scott threatened.

Stiles stared at him with affection blazing in his chest before dropping the controller and tackling him in a hug. Scott yelled when they hit the floor and he nuzzled the top of his head despite Scott’s protests and yells for help.

“The best friend in the whole world,” he said letting go of him grinning. “Defending my honour!” 

“That’s my job, Stiles, I look after you like I always have.”

“Bullshit, I look after you, not the other way around,” Stiles protested grabbing the controller again. “So how are things with Allison?”

“They’re okay, her mom likes me, her dad is wary, but it’s not like I’m surprised,” Scott replied with a sniff looking into his empty can of soda. “Want to make some pancakes?”

“Okay,” Stiles agreed when they abandoned the game and headed into the kitchen to make pancakes and drink more soda. It was nice to sit there with him when they made food and sat together in content silence. He was generous when he spilled syrup all over his pancakes before digging in. 

“Are you going to tell him?”

“What? No way, it took two months for him to confirm we’re official. If I turn around and tell him I love him then I’ll see a Derek shaped hole in the door,” he said and smirked when Scott snorted with laughter. 

“Point taken,” he agreed licking his fork. “I haven’t told Allison either.”

“You love her?” Stiles questioned and rolled his eyes when Scott him his puppy dog eye look that made his insides want to curl up and die. “Okay, stupid question, but have you told her?”

“No,” Scott muttered looking fearful. “I don’t know if she feels the same way.”

“She does, I can see it when she looks at you,” he muttered taking a sip of his drink and looking at him. 

“Did you get into a relationship and turn soppy?”

“Nope, just know what I’m talking about!”

“Whatever, eat your pancakes,” Scott ordered. 

They spent the rest of the afternoon eating crap food, drinking too many fizzy drinks, and playing game after game on the Xbox. It was ended though immediately when Allison came around and he left them to it when Scott gave him a pleading look. Stiles pulled out his cell and called Derek as he drove away from Scott’s.

“I thought this was “bro day” and I wasn’t allowed to disturb,” Derek answered in a bored tone. “I distinctively remember you calling me an asshole and not to disturb you or you’d withhold sex. You’re not very threatening when you’re the one who is always gagging for it.”

“Allison came around and I’m not sticking around to hear them have sex. I am threatening, I can withhold it if I want to! Can I see you anyway?”

“Yeah, the loft is empty, Cora is out.”

“Be there in ten,” Stiles sang before ending the call and tossing it in the seat. It was his routine now, if he wasn’t with Scott, his dad, or on a rare occasion Lydia, then he was with Derek. That was always the best time and he’d rather be with him than anyone else selfishly enough. Stiles parked and ran up the stairs to the loft and pulled it open to see him relaxing and smoking on the sofa. 

“I thought you were getting patches,” he said stripping off his jacket when he closed the door over and walked over to him. “Lung cancer is possible.”

“I know,” Derek said dryly looking up to meet his eyes and let out a small grunt when he straddled his lap stealing it off him. “You have something on your chin…”

“Oh, what?” he murmured pressing his thumb against it and drawing it away. “Oh syrup, we had pancakes.”

“You’re disgustingly messy,” Derek murmured putting his hands behind his head to watch him. Stiles hummed with a nod when he took a drag and exhaled passing it back to him to see lust shining in his eyes. 

“Any luck on finding out who Cora’s mystery person is? I feel like I’m surrounded in secrets most of the time,” Stiles questioned watching him shake his head and rest his hands on his thighs instead. 

“No, she told me to fuck off and mind my own business.”

“You two are so related,” he whispered leaning in and kissing him. “I told Scott that we’re official.”

“What did he say?” Derek murmured taking the final drag before stumping it out. 

“He was…okay?” he replied with a raised eyebrow pushing his hands up his top and scratched his nails gently against his stomach. Stiles fought down his laughter when he jumped underneath him and glared up at him. 

“You can’t deny you don’t like that, your cock is saying a whole different story.”

“I have you in my lap, it’s standing to attention,” Derek said grabbing his wrists and sitting up so he leaned into his personal space. 

“You did not just say that,” he mock whispered and chuckled when he pulled him in for a kiss. He happily kissed him back and moved willingly when he switched their position so Stiles was on his back staring up at him. 

“How do I always end up on my back with you?”

“Do you really need to question that?” Derek muttered brushing his nose against his before sealing their lips together. Stiles hummed cupping his jaw before pulling away with a nod. 

“Fancy watching Pirates of the Caribbean? I have a craving for Jack Sparrow.”

“Captain Jack Sparrow,” Derek muttered with an air of indifference when he sat back and Stiles couldn’t hold back his laugh of delight smacking his chest gently. 

“God, you’re awesome,” he muttered wriggling out and going to his bookcase. “I think we’ll watch them all.”

Stiles put on the first film and happily curled against his chest sitting between his legs. He listened to his heartbeat under his ear and liked the constant beat when the film started. In the end though he ended closing his eyes and dozing letting the voices of Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom wash over him. He ended up drifting off into a light sleep and woke up warm, his lower back aching and his leg dead lying against Derek’s chest. The television was showing the title menu and Cora was standing above them smirking. 

“This is adorable,” she said loudly so he flinched and Derek jerked out of his own sleep grumbling when he saw her and tugging Stiles up and closer to him. Stiles couldn’t hold back his smile when he tucked his face into his neck and Derek gave her the finger pressing his face into his hair. There was the distinctive click of her phone camera going off before she laughed softly walking away. 

Stiles sighed softly getting comfortable against him dozing and listening to Cora singing softly in the kitchen. Derek’s arms were tight around him when he breathed warm air into his hair so he shivered clinging to him. 

“Why do we always do that?”

“What?” Derek mumbled with his eyes closed. 

“Fall asleep when we watch a film, people usually end up having sex, but we sleep,” Stiles muttered glancing up at him. 

“Boredom.”

“Are you saying spending time with me is boring?” he whispered and poked him in the side with a mock gasp when Derek shrugged and opened his eyes glaring at him amused. 

“Rude!” 

“Exactly,” Derek muttered pressing a finger to his lips hushing him and resuming closing his eyes to sleep. 

Stiles huffed not liking being quiet but enjoyed being in his arms when they lay together. Derek fell asleep easily enough but Stiles couldn’t and his aching back protested enough for him to wriggle away and sit up. The movement stirred Derek for a second before he snorted pressing against the back of the couch. Coffee was his siren when he made a fresh batch and poured someone into his favourite mug. It didn’t take long to pick one and the blue and gold one forgotten in the back was now _his._

It was odd to think about it really but if he did he thought about the spare toothbrush in the bathroom that was his, the spare drawer under the bed that contained one of his hoodies, two tops, and new underwear from Derek in apology. Derek always somehow managed to rip them off him in sex and it was frustrating being commando and going home. In two months he had made his mark here and he loved it. The coffee warmed him when he put on the second film and sat with Derek’s feet in his lap watching it. 

The minutes ticked slowly by when he fell in love with Johnny Depp once again and looked over when Derek woke up slowly. His eyes narrowed in confusion before they zeroed in on him and he sat up rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hands. 

“You moved away?”

“My back was hurting me, I needed coffee, and staring at the title menu was pissing me off.” 

Derek hummed settling back and blinking away the sleep in his eyes. He couldn’t help but find that adorable as he set the empty mug down and moved over to him. Derek was quiet when he opened his arms for him almost questioningly and met his kiss with a soft questionable noise. 

“What was that for?”

“Do I have to have a reason?” Stiles whispered in return. 

“No, but that look in your eyes is a different story.”

“I wanted to kiss you, sue me,” Stiles argued softly trailing his fingers through his hair. 

Derek hummed before tilting his head back and narrowing his eyes at him. “When’s your birthday?”

“April eighth, why?” 

“Just wanted to know.”

“I’ll be eighteen, legal,” Stiles whispered pressing a kiss against his jaw. “It won’t matter to my dad though.”

“Your dad will figure it out sooner or later,” Derek murmured looking towards the window. 

“He won’t do anything, I won’t let him.”

“If he wants to arrest me, you’re going to let that happen.”

“What? I’m not going to let my dad arrest you!” Stiles protested pulling back. “No, it’s not happening so don’t give me that look, Derek.” 

Derek was quiet when he stared at him for a long quiet moment before nodding. Stiles was satisfied when he laid back down with him and took his hand linking their hands together. He wasn’t about to let him go so soon. 

~*~ 

Derek stood by the window sucking on the end of the forbidden cigarette he swore to quit and looked out at the morning sun. Spring was finally here and the weather warm outside meaning it was going to be a nice day. He liked that for once. It was finally April, four months since everything started with Stiles, and it was so far, so good. He had baffled Cora, Erica, Isaac, and Boyd with his determination to make this work. Cora was the most but he liked seeing the warm pride in her eyes that they were finally both getting somewhere. Her relationship was still a mystery but he an inkling of who it could be and the thought made his stomach turn. There was only one particular aftershave that Isaac wore and most of the time Cora stunk of that and sex. The question had never been asked and they continued with their lives. 

It was the same for the fact it had been four months now and the Sheriff didn’t know of his existence, not yet, Stiles often complained about the lying. They both knew they couldn’t tell him, not till his birthday, and that day was today. It had been secretive planning with Cora that he planned to take Stiles away to San Francisco for the day including staying over. He told Stiles yesterday that they were going somewhere and to pack an overnight bag. His excitement was a screech down his ear. 

“So does that mean I get the place to myself?” Cora said from the sofa sipping coffee and smirking at him. 

“Yes, no parties, I’ll burn all your clothes,” he said calmly chucking his cigarette away and going to brush his teeth. 

“You wouldn’t dare!” she shouted to him. 

“Oh I would!” he shouted back brushing the brush over his teeth and turned his head when he heard the buzzer. “Let him in would you?”

“Birthday boy!” Cora cried when Stiles arrived and he heard Stiles hum in approval.

“You sound like my dad, he’s not happy about this by the way,” Stiles said poking his head around the doorway.

“Why? What did he say?”

“Well he was pestering me for months about my eighteenth and I said no to a party, no to do anything, and I told him about this and well…” he said trailing off with a shrug. 

“You’re not fighting are you?”

“No he said he wanted me to enjoy myself and I’m going to enjoy my day…with you,” he finished with a nod. 

Derek frowned giving him a pointed look as he exited the bathroom and pointed at the bed. “Open the big envelope first.”

Stiles grinned as he went over sitting down and ripping it open as he pulled out the papers staring at them in confusion. 

“We’re going to San Francisco!?” Stiles demanded staring at him in shock.

“Plus staying over, I booked a nice hotel.”

“Yeah, so sleazy, like the films,” Cora injected and pressed her lips together with a roll of her eyes when Derek glared at her. 

“Oh my god,” Stiles whispered before grabbing the next envelope and ripping it open. “There’s – oh my god there is a thousand dollars in here!”

“Yes,” Derek said with a nod folding his arms over his chest. 

“You’re giving me a thousand dollars?!” Stiles cried looking up at him in horror and surprise. 

“Yes, Stiles, we’re going to San Francisco so you can shop or spend it on whatever you want.”

“You’re like his little woman,” Cora said with a chuckle and held up her hands walking to her bedroom when Derek turned his eyes on her and bared his teeth. 

Stiles opened and closed his mouth wordlessly before chucking it aside and running at him. He caught him easily enough when he jumped at him and kissed him hard. Stiles wrapped his legs around his waist whispering his endearments against his lips when Derek supported his weight. 

“You’re amazing,” Stiles whispered clutching the back of his hair with his fingers. “Are you serious right now? So you’re taking me to San Francisco, you’re giving me a thousand dollars to spend on whatever I want, and we’re staying in a nice hotel for the night?”

“Deadly serious,” he confirmed with a blank expression when Stiles made an excited sound kissing him again. 

“You two are disgustingly cute! Will you leave before I puke?!” Cora shouted from above. 

Derek rolled his eyes when he deposited Stiles back onto his feet and went to get their bags. Stiles was giddy when they left the loft and headed down to the car. 

“Has Scott not said anything?”

“I told him we’re going away for the night, he said be careful, handed me a new game for my PlayStation and wished me a happy birthday.” 

Derek made a noncommittal sound when he tossed the two bags into the back and climbed into the driver’s seat. Stiles took over the music when he chose the station and relaxed pressing the button for the window to let cool air in. It was a long drive over there and he relaxed leaning back into the chair when he drove. Stiles sung next to him and he grimaced when he attempted to do a high note. 

“What?” he demanded. 

“I don’t fancy paying for broken windows because of your shit singing.”

“Hey now! It’s my birthday, you have to be nice!”

“I don’t have to do anything,” Derek argued gently watching out of the corner of his eye when he huffed rolling his eyes. 

“Yes you do if you want me to be nice back,” he argued poking his head out of the window. “How long before we get there?”

“Half an hour, tops, sit back,” he ordered reaching over and tugging him in. “You’re like a dog panting for a walk.”

Stiles turned towards him raising an eyebrow but kept his silence surprisingly till they got there. The first stop was the hotel to get the car parked and bags into their room. It was a once time thing so he paid the heavy fee for the room on the top floor. Stiles was looking around the reception with a hum of approval as they checked in. The woman behind the desk with too much makeup and stinking heavily of Chanel eyed him with interest when she handed over the card keys. Her deep red nails lingering on his hand and he fought down the urge to laugh when Stiles noticed and tugged him away with a huff. 

“There was no need on that,” Stiles remarked when Derek raised his eyebrows at him when they stood in the lift. “I am not jealous before you say anything!” 

He didn’t respond to him and instead smirked when they reached their floor and they walked over to their room near the end of the floor. It beeped green when he pushed open the door and Stiles swore looking around the luxury suite he managed to claim. 

“You do realise this is for one night?” Stiles demanded dumping his bag on the floor as his eyes lingered on the double bed covered in royal blue and white linen, the wardrobe against the wall empty, the bathroom containing a large bathtub, and a cream white couch facing the television. There was a small balcony overlooking San Francisco that Stiles took great delight in when he unlocked the door and stepped outside. 

“This is insane!” he called to him. “You don’t have a job, how can you afford this?!”

“I’ve already told you,” Derek began. “Unlimited funds and this is your birthday, your eighteenth, its special. You won’t get another special one till you’re twenty one.” 

“Want to christen the bed?” Stiles muttered desperately kissing him. “I say we christen every inch in this room.”

Derek kissed him back nipping his bottom lip so he moaned grabbing him tightly. “No, we’re going out.”

“You’re withholding sex?”

“We have the whole night,” he whispered into his ear and felt satisfied when Stiles groaned weakly clinging to his top before letting go. 

“Pure evil!” Stiles hissed at him before going to use the toilet. 

Derek waited patiently for him letting his eyes drift around the room until he came out and stood in front of him expectedly. 

“Where are we going?”

“For a look around, come on,” he insisted turning on his heel and walking out. 

In the end Stiles relished his money load when Derek trailed after him when they found the shops and went store to store when he looked through clothes, games, DVD’s and bought a load.

“If I was a woman I’d be buying sexy lingerie for you,” Stiles said when they stood at the cashier desk and he smiled at the woman who looked up with wide eyes. 

Derek rolled his eyes when he handed over the money and held some of his bags for him. “I wouldn’t want that, I’d rather you be naked.” 

“If I could I would be all the time, nakedness is good,” Stiles said smugly. “I’m starving! Can we find somewhere to eat? McDonalds?”

“No, Stiles, we’ll find somewhere that doesn’t taste like too much salt and rank meat.”

“Spoilsport,” Stiles mumbled when they returned to the car putting the stuff in. They ended up finding a little restaurant under Stiles’ choosing as they got a table in the corner. Derek watched him when he opened the menu pouting before looking up at him through his lashes. 

“Why are you staring at me?”

“I’m not.”

“You’re awesome for doing this you know, you didn’t have to. I’m so going to rub this in Scott’s face.”

“I did have to do this,” Derek muttered looking over his own menu and could feel Stiles’ eyes on him when he chose what he wanted. 

“No, you didn’t, you could have given me a DVD and I would have been happy!” Stiles exclaimed closing his menu and leaning forward. “It’s the best birthday, ever, seriously. It beats last year.” 

“What happened?”

“My seventeenth? Scott and I went bowling, we ate too much, felt sick, Scott dropped the bowling ball on his foot, and then…vomited all over the lane,” Stiles explained with a small smirk. 

“Wow,” Derek muttered raising an eyebrow at him and hiding his own smile when Stiles laughed. 

“I’m being serious, it was a disaster, and my sixteenth was…worse. I had a party and, um, no one came.”

Derek stared at him stunned but was unable to question when their waiter came over taking their orders for drink and food before leaving. Stiles looked at him with a soft smile. 

“Is the part where we hold hand and play footsie under the table?”

“If you want.”

“You spoil me, literally,” he said with a hard swallow leaning back. “I feel like I don’t deserve you half the time.”

“That’s a lie, if anyone doesn’t deserve anyone, Stiles, it’s me. I wanted to do this for you because you deserve it…and now because your last two birthdays were shit.”

“You do deserve me, you know that right?” he questioned leaning forward to look into his eyes. 

Derek licked his lips feeling the words in the back of his throat but unable to say them. He had still yet to tell him the real truth of everything in his past. He knew Stiles was curious about it, curious about everything from his family to the mystery disappearance of Laura. It was like chewing gum through sticky around his throat and he felt unable to tell them. 

“Whatever, you do, now can we eat and drink till we burst please?” he pleaded and grinned when the waiter came over.

Their meal went well as they drank beer and ate steak to his satisfaction and left the restaurant heading back to the hotel. Stiles was content next to him when he grabbed his hand and linked their fingers together. It wasn’t like it was the first time but it still left a warm feeling in his heart to see their fingers intertwined. They held them together till they got into the hotel and into their room. Stiles let out a long sigh dropping on the bed like a star fish. 

“So…what do you want to do?” Stiles said suggestively patting the bed. 

Derek hummed as he stripped off his jacket and shoes before looking at the door in consideration. “Did you know there is a indoor pool here?”

“There is, where?”

“Let’s find out.”

“Wait, wouldn’t it be closed by now?” Stiles said looking at his cell.

“We sneak in,” Derek said giving him a suggestive look. 

“I haven’t got my swimming trunks,” he said walking towards him with amusement dancing in his eyes.

“We don’t need them.”

Stiles let out a small laugh before nodding and shoving at his shoulder. It wasn’t too hard to find it and slip the guy who was in some way guarding it a hundred to keep his mouth shut. He met his eyes when they walked in. 

“Did – did you just pay that guy off?”

“To keep his silence and make sure no one comes in? Yes,” he agreed stripping off his clothes until he was naked and jumped into the warm water. Derek rose up to see Stiles gaping at him as he wiped the water out of his face and kicked his feet. 

“I’ve never skinny dipped before.”

“It’s like a huge bath.”

“Funny,” Stiles muttered with a grin before stripping out of his own clothes and pressing two fingers to his nose when he jumped in. Derek watched as he rose up taking a gasp of breath before laughing and swam across the length of the pool. 

“Fuck, this is too cool,” Stiles muttered swimming closer to him and wrapping his arms around his neck when he kissed him softly. “Like seriously are you sure we’re not in some film?”

“I’m pretty sure this is reality,” Derek muttered pressing a kiss to his throat and pulling him closer so he could wrap his legs around his waist. 

“It doesn’t feel like it, I don’t know how this is my life,” he whispered staring up at the ceiling and let out a surprised sound when his back collided with the pool wall. “Oh hello, I think someone is standing to attention, Derek.”

“Shut up,” he muttered tilting his face towards him when he kissed him hard kneading his ass with his hands. Stiles breath was hot against his lips when his fingers delved in between his cheeks and he worked a finger up inside of him. He was hotter than the water and he caught the soft moan Stiles gave him. 

“Are we seriously doing this here?”

“Having sex in a public pool? Yes,” Derek answered for him when he managed to press a second finger inside of him. “It’s not the best and no lube.”

“No it’s fine, it doesn’t hurt, not really, did you go the clinic?”

“Two weeks ago, clean as a whistle,” he whispered into his ear.

“Brilliant, get inside of me, fuck me, come on,” Stiles insisted clinging to him harder and moaning when he worked the third finger up inside of him with the help of the water when he stretched him open. It was a difficult position but with the work of both of them he managed to push up and inside of him in one quick stroke. Stiles swore loudly echoing around the large area when he rolled his hips thrusting up inside of him. 

“Oh, I feel everything, every single inch of you,” Stiles muttered squeezing his eyes closed when he pushed down onto him and groaned. “Come on, fuck me! It’s my birthday, show me you’re the best I’ll ever have.”

Derek met his challenge when he pushed him harder up against the pool and captured his lips with his. His mouth opened for him willingly when he stroked his tongue over his pistoling his hips into him. The water lapped at his back as well as Stiles fingernails when they dug into his shoulders. 

“Oh fuck!” Stiles cried out wrapping a hand around his own cock jerking himself off. “I think I’m about to come into a pool.”

“Do it,” Derek insisted and watched him intently when Stiles clamped up with a groan climaxing between them. They both looked down to see it floating in the pool and Stiles laughed closing his eyes. 

“Oh my god,” he whispered breathing hard and Derek couldn’t hold back his own orgasm when let his lips rest against his throat when he climaxed. He shuddered his way through it and leaned into him basking in the afterglow.

“I can officially mark off having sex in a pool,” Stiles muttered when Derek pulled out of him and they shared a kiss. “Best…birthday…ever!”

Derek felt a sense of pride because of that and let him push off the wall when he swam around the pool. They spent another half an hour in there before climbing out and using spare towels to dry themselves off before going into the room. Stiles sat on the floor wearing nothing but his underwear when they ordered room service and he sorted through his clothes and gifts. It had been the best day for both of them and it felt good to know he had done it. 

It was later that night when Stiles was asleep after drinking too much beer and eating too much chocolate that he stood on the balcony smoking. San Francisco was beautiful at night and the wind was cool when it blew over him. It was too much like a good thing between them right now. It was comfortable, content, and it worried him more than he could tell anyone else. In the end he was going to have to tell Stiles the truth about everything and he honestly didn’t know if he would stick around after it. 

It wasn’t like he wanted him to leave, far from it, but the odds seemed against them back home. The cigarette touched his lips when he inhaled and heard soft footsteps walking towards him.

“Liar, liar, pants on fire,” Stiles muttered appearing at his side and taking it out of his hand taking a drag before handing it back. 

“Whatever,” he murmured trailing his eyes up and down him from his new superman underwear to Stiles wearing his top for comfort and warmth. 

“Why are you out here?”

“Thinking.”

“What about?”

“Everything, us, my life,” he explained with a sniff meeting his eyes.

Stiles licked his lips with a nod like he understood him. Derek opened his arm out and closed his eyes when Stiles came to him and pressed against his chest. 

“We’re going to be okay, right?” Stiles whispered looking up at him 

He didn’t answer him because he couldn’t. Derek instead sucked on the end of his cigarette to get that last hit before chucking it and wrapping his arms around him. He let his cheek rest in his hair feeling Stiles relax into him as they stared out at San Francisco and simply breathed.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for comments and kudos! They are what motivate me! :)

Stiles groaned when the alarm went off at seven that Friday morning shrill and demanding. He lifted his head to shut off his phone and rolled over colliding with Derek who grunted throwing his arm over his eyes. He didn’t mean to stay over. It’s what happens when they get too caught with each other and fall asleep after without care. His phone contained two messages and he swallowed blinking sleep out of his eyes to read them. 

_“You’re eighteen, I get this, but I set a curfew for a reason!!! We’ll talk more when you get home.” – Dad. 11:55pm._

_“I’m also going to assume you’re with this mystery man. You better be safe!” – Dad. 12:05am._

“Shit,” Stiles swore softly when he glanced at Derek with his arm thrown over his eyes sleeping. “Derek!”

Derek was having none of it though when he slapped a hand over his mouth hard. Stiles couldn’t back the wince when he shoved his hand off and grumbled moving out of the warm sheets to get dressed. 

“I can’t believe I did this…again! Why didn’t you send me home?!” he hissed smacking his stomach and smirking when Derek groaned removing his arm.

“You weren’t complaining when I was buried balls deep in you and you were begging for more. You’re the one who passed out, not me, don’t blame me because you’re lazy and sleep after sex,” Derek muttered in a sleepy voice glaring at him before flipping onto his front giving him an excellent view of his bare ass. 

Stiles licked his dry lips before pulling on yesterday’s clothes and reaching over to slap his right ass cheek hard. Derek yelped lifting his head to glare at him and flip him the finger. He was satisfied enough when he walked into the kitchen and made a coffee. It was going well till he looked down at his t-shirt to see stains from dinner and a come stain. 

“Derek, I need to borrow a top,” he whined walking over to the bed and pulling open the drawer. “The clothes I normally have are in the wash. Plus I get to wear your clothes.”

“Fine, take one, just shut…the…hell…up,” he murmured into the pillow. 

“Love your pillow talk, such a turn on,” he hissed at him before pulling a black one out and sighing. “Do you own anything of colour?!”

“Yes, a blood red one, I’ll have one when I gut you and dye my white t-shirt,” Derek muttered turning tired angry eyes onto him. 

“You’re not funny,” Stiles mumbled when he tugged it on and moved away to get his coffee and make his toast before school. Cora soon joined them looking tired and like her brother when she glared at him until he moved away and sat on the bed. Derek was asleep again when he sat cross legged next to him. 

“You stayed over?” Cora muttered looking at him with narrowed eyes.

“Clever observation, I fell asleep after…well,” he murmured indicating his head at Derek and smiling into his cup when Cora grimaced heading to get a shower. Stiles munched the toast and paused when Derek woke up again glaring at him. 

“If you get crumbs on my bed, I’m going to make you lick every single one up.”

Stiles was further amused when he put the cup down on the floor before moving in and capturing his lips. Derek sighed against his lips before wrapping his arm around his waist and hooking him in so he was lying down.

“I have school,” he whispered shutting his eyes when Derek kissed his throat and neck and left his marks. 

“You’re the one who woke me up and kissed me,” he whispered cupping his jaw and staring into his eyes. “Bad move.”

“Your sister is in the shower.”

“Better make this quick then,” he whispered against his collarbone.

“I can’t, I need to go!” Stiles muttered pushing at his shoulders trying to sit up but didn’t get far when Derek tucked his face into his neck and bit him. 

“Hoy fuck! Did you just bite me?” he cried in surprised horror and touched it gingerly. Stiles stared at the spots of blood on his fingertips before smacking him hard on the shoulder. 

“You deserved it.”

“You’re an animal!” Stiles hissed before standing up and brushing himself down. He waited for Cora to come out into the bathroom before going in and looking at his neck. Stiles opened his mouth in horror as he looked at the red bite mark there dotted with blood from his teeth. 

“You’re an asshole!”

“You’re annoying!”

“Yeah well at least I don’t bite people, you jerk!” Stiles cried standing in the doorway and glaring at him when Derek smirked giving him the finger again. 

“Go to school, brat,” Derek murmured rubbing his eyes. 

Stiles scoffed as he brushed his teeth and looked in the mirror with a grimace. “Cora! I need your help!”

Cora was prompt when she came into the bathroom with her makeup bag and laughed loudly when she turned his head to the side. 

“God he did his number on you,” she said opening it up. “Possessive, Derek?”

“Piss off,” he grumbled back.

“I don’t use this much but I think concealer is your best bet. It’s a good job you’re pale,” she said with a smirk putting it into his hand. “It should cover it up for school.”

Stiles applied it gingerly and surveyed it with a sigh. It would have to do. Derek was lounging in bed when he walked over to him and pulled him into a kiss goodbye. 

“Dick,” he murmured against his lips. 

“Brat,” Derek insulted him back when Stiles finished kissing him and stood heading out of the loft and to go to school. He wished he could take the day off but with school work heavy on him he couldn’t afford it. It was a warm day when he arrived and got out to go hunting for Scott. He once again found him and his tongue in Allison’s mouth and took great delight in jumping on them and scaring them.

“Stiles!”

“PDA’s dude,” Stiles argued pulling his bag straps over his shoulders. “There’s a time and a place.” 

“Says you, are you wearing concealer?” Allison said pointing at his neck with a grin. 

“Christ, did he maul you?” Scott said squinting at him when he flailed batting at her hands. 

“Bit me, he bit me, it was this morning.”

“You was with him?”

“I stayed over,” Stiles admitted biting the end of his thumb with a grimace when Scott rolled his eyes. “It was purely accident, we got carried away, I fell asleep, and I woke up. My dad sent me two messages.”

“He’s going to kill you.” 

“I’m eighteen!”

“Have you even told him you’re dating Derek yet?” Scott demanded. 

“No, not yet, I will tell him!” Stiles argued with a sigh glancing at them both. “You know I will, just need the right time.” 

“You said that four months ago,” he said giving him a look and took Allison’s hand when the bell rung for first lesson. 

Stiles pressed his lips together letting them walk ahead before trailing after them. He wasn’t looking forward to going back home and talking with his dad with the constant questioning. The first lesson was always a drag and he slid into the seat with a long sigh when he stared at the teacher beginning their lesson. He was thankful for break when he could eat to his heart’s content. 

“Hey, fancy coming out tomorrow?” Scott said appearing next to him. “I mean out – out like using our fake ID’s and getting drunk. Lydia invited us.”

“Wow, I feel honoured,” Stiles said with a roll of his eyes. “But yeah, sounds good!”

“Don’t get grounded, lie to your dad if you have to,” Scott said with a grin slapping him on the shoulder before he left him to it. 

“Easier said than done!” he called after him and sighed taking a swig from his bottle. 

The day went by quickly when he got his head down to take notes and do essays that were long overdue. The house was empty when the day ended and he walked inside feeling nervous and on edge when he looked around. There was no note from him when he raided the fridge for food and drink before collapsing on the couch. There was one message from Derek on his cell when he tugged it towards him. 

_“Are you coming tonight?” – Grumpy. 4:05pm._

_“Don’t know, need to talk to my dad first, I’ll text you.”_

Stiles attempted to do the dutiful son act by making dinner, healthy with salad because he worried about his blood pressure, and waited for him to come home. It was half five when the front door opened and Stiles braced himself when his dad came in glancing at him and away.

“Still alive then,” he muttered unzipping his coat and draping it over the kitchen chair. 

“Alive and kicking, its spaghetti bolognese, the healthy meat,” Stiles said with a small smile turning his back on him when he turned the sauce.

“Are we going to talk about how you didn’t come home last night?”

“I should have told you, I know, I’m sorry, I just fell asleep and didn’t wake up till seven the next morning. I didn’t mean to worry you but I was safe? That has to mean something.”

“Yes, safe, but safe with who, Stiles? I’m getting really tired of waiting for you to tell me who you’re dating and why you’re so scared to tell me,” he said folding his arms over his chest and looked tired and frustrated. 

“I want to tell you.”

“Just tell me, I’m your father, Stiles, why wouldn’t I understand?”

“Because it’s who it is,” Stiles muttered turning the burner off before facing him. “I don’t know if you’d understand and he means a lot to me dad! I’m in love with him, like…stupidly, like the cliché film of head over heels, and I need you to understand that.”

John unfolded his arms as he gripped the chair, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips, and he stared at the lino for a moment before nodding. 

“Okay, I can deal with that, like I dealt with you having underage sex, like you lying to me, and sneaking off with whoever this is. I’m getting tired, Stiles, tired of guessing, tired of sticking to the background and waiting for you to tell me. I want the truth and I want the truth now.” 

“I don’t –”

“I deserve the truth after worrying about you all night long! I deserve it when I come into check on you and your bed is empty! I want the _truth _, Stiles, and I want it now. Who is your boyfriend?” he said cutting him off.__

Stiles felt like his knees were about to give out when he walked to the kitchen table and pulled it out to sit down. 

“Can I explain first? I met him, officially, about four months ago. I, um, I went for a walk, bumped into him, we talked, and then things took off. We started talking more and before I know it we’re sort of dating, getting to know each other, and doing what any other couple would do. Yes, we had sex, but it was consented! You know all abroad the Stiles agrees to this train!” 

“Okay…”

“He’s not what everyone thinks he is, he’s really not dad, and I just…”

“Stiles,” he said pointedly. 

“It’s Derek, its Derek Hale,” he muttered with a hard swallow watching his eyes go wider at the statement and silence to fill the room. Stiles felt uneasy when he watched him digest the information he gave him before standing up to get the whiskey bottle.

“This conversation needs this,” he muttered pouring a glass and taking a gulp of it. “You’re dating Derek Hale?”

“Yes,” Stiles whispered with a nod. “I’m sorry I kept it so long.”

“The Derek Hale who I have arrested three times for various crimes such as speeding, assault, disturbances?”

“Yeah, kind of,” Stiles muttered with a hard swallow. “You’ve always warned me away from him, hell everyone has, but – but he’s not like that! He’s different than this stupid ‘bad boy’ persona that everyone gives him!” 

“He broke a bottle and used the broken end to threaten someone!” 

“Now that…that was a mistake! Dad, you have to trust me!”

“Trust you? You’ve lied to me for four months! I honestly couldn’t say I knew who it could be…but him?! He’s what twenty five?” 

“No! God sake dad, he’s twenty two, well twenty three in three months, but still not older than me by a lot of years! There’s a five year age gap,” Stiles protested watching him open the whiskey bottle again to take another drink. “If you got to know him…”

Stiles trailed off when his dad looked up and shot him a look. John sighed deeply pressing his fingers to his forehead. 

“Stiles, he took your virginity?”

It was that question that left a cold feeling in his chest when he clutched his hands together and nodded slowly. 

“Consented, completely consented,” he pleaded watching him stand up shaking his head.

“It’s illegal! There is a reason we have it Stiles and he broke that when he had sex with a minor. You were seventeen! How can I not know he tricked you into it? He could go to prison,” he shouted at him. 

“He didn’t trick me! He’s not like that!” Stiles yelled back at him. “My age doesn’t matter here, it didn’t happen for weeks after we met! He kept pushing it back, kept pushing me away, until we couldn’t anymore. We both wanted it, I consented, and it happened. I won’t let you.”

“You won’t let me what?”

“I – I won’t let you send him to prison, I love him,” Stiles said softly looking up to meet his eyes. 

“Love him? Do you even understand the meaning of that son?”

“Yes! What, you think I’m delusional and my young sex ridden mind is swept away? I – I can’t imagine my life without him now, I…can’t. He isn’t like what you think, what every jackass in this town thinks he is! I have – I’ve liked him a lot longer than now, when I was fourteen and he came back and I wanted him. You told me to stay away and I did until I couldn’t,” Stiles ranted standing up and realised he was breathing hard. 

“I don’t like this, I don’t like this at all,” John said shaking his head when he covered his mouth. “He’s an adult, you’re a child!”

“I am not a child! I’m eighteen, legal, an adult in the eyes of the law, dad! Just because we had sex earlier makes no difference when there is a programme on the TV about sixteen year olds getting pregnant!”

“It makes a difference when you are my son and I am the Sheriff of this town. It makes a difference when I realise my son is dating an older man who took advantage of a seventeen year old boy and had sex with him. If I want to arrest him I can, Stiles, I have the evidence for it.” 

Stiles could feel the tears building in the back of his throat and hated it. He hadn’t cried in months and he watched his dad gulp down the whiskey before walking into the living room. 

“Are you angry with me?” he whispered. 

“No, just disappointed,” John whispered back.

It was like a punch to his chest when he licked his lips to look at the ceiling. 

“I’m eighteen now, I have the right to choose who I am with whether you like it or not,” Stiles said walking slowly towards him. “Derek’s not going to hurt me.”

His dad snorted with laughter softly and looked up at him. “Yeah, my little boy all grown up. You think he’s not going to hurt you? I know his type, Stiles, and I know you said he’s not like what I think but he is. You think all those crimes, all those incidents, and the stereotypical name calling for him were by accident? They’re not. He is exactly what everyone thinks of him.”

“No, you’re wrong,” Stiles argued shaking his head. “He can be kind, considerate, he cares about me, I know he does, and wouldn’t you act up with the past he has?!”

“Has he told you about his past?” John questioned. 

“Not yet,” Stiles said with a break in his voice. “Talking about the past is hard! We can barely talk about mom.”

Stiles watched with a heavy heart when his dad flinched moving away from him to sit down. 

“She would have understood, you know she would have, she wanted what’s best for me…”

“What and I don’t?” he snapped looking up and staring at him with hard grief-ridden eyes. “I support everything you do, Stiles, as I have done since you were three years old and wanted to be a fireman, then a policeman, then an astronaut, and then a Jedi. I supported and looked after you when your mom passed away and I have always wanted what’s best for you.”

The guilt was like a bee sting when he sat down staring down at his hands. Silence filled the space between them when he took another drink and Stiles felt guilty about that too. He didn’t want to drive his dad to drink. 

“Why can’t you support this then?”

“It’s not about supporting it, Stiles, it’s about looking out for your best interests and I don’t think Derek Hale is in your best interests.”

“He is for me,” he whispered. “You can’t make me do anything I don’t want to. I want to be with him and I’m not giving up.”

“Christ, Stiles, you sound like a teenage girl in a television drama!”

“Those things can portray real life, like all those typical romantic cliché books which are ridiculous but still have some meaning into them! How old were you when you met mom?”

“This is not about Claudia and I!” 

“How is it any different?!”

“We grew up together! I loved her from the moment I seen her and we were the same age, I knew she was the one for me, and…and I knew I wanted to marry her. I also got you from us and…it’s just different. He’s not…he’s not good enough for you.”

“Don’t I get to decide that?” he whispered in a cracked voice feeling the tears threatening to come out break over the barrier. His vision was blurred when he stared at his dad. 

“I – I want you to do the right thing and end it,” he said slowly looking at him. 

Stiles blinked feeling the tears slide down his cheeks as he scoffed shaking his head and made the decision when he grabbed his keys heading to the door.

“Stiles,” John cried. “Stiles!”

He slammed the front door behind him when he got into the car and with a shaking hand he started her up. His bottom lip trembled when he felt the emotion burn in his chest when he drove to Derek’s. Stiles couldn’t even warn him after forgetting his cell and parked heading into the building. 

Stiles waited when he hammered on the door and Derek answered surprised.

“Stiles?”

He couldn’t hold himself back when he invaded his personal space and wrapped his arms around him in a clingy and desperate hug. Stiles could sense Derek’s confusion when he wrapped his arms around him holding him tight and he buried his face into his neck.

“Stiles, what’s happened?” he muttered cupping the back of his neck. 

Stiles sniffed deeply unable to answer and lingered there instead waiting till he calmed down enough to tell him. He could dimly hear movement behind him and knew it was Cora when she whispered to Derek about giving them time alone. The door slammed closed behind her and he waited a minute before pulling back. Derek stared at him in confusion and with his hand brushed away the tears under his eyes and on his cheeks.

“Tell me,” he whispered.

“My, uh, my dad knows, I told him about us, and he’s…he’s not very happy,” Stiles muttered biting into the flesh of his inner bottom lip. “He’s actually disappointed, he wants me to end things with you. He says you’re not good enough for me.” 

Derek looked drawn out and his eyes conflicted when he nodded slowly. “Okay.”

“He’s wrong!” Stiles protested moving out of his arms and inhaling deeply when he stood in the middle of the floor. “I’m eighteen, I can make my own decisions about…everything. My career, my life, my love life, and he can’t force me to do anything.” 

“He just wants to look out for you,” Derek replied softly lingering in the background. 

“My dad also said he’d support me in anything and he hasn’t.”

“Can you blame him?”

“I understand why he’s upset but telling me to end things with us? Yes, I do blame him.”

Derek sighed behind him before walking over and gripping his hand when he turned him around. “He’s your dad, he wants what’s best for you, like any parent would. This doesn’t surprise me.” 

“I’m not ending things!”

“I’m not asking you to, I wouldn’t want that either, but you need to understand where he’s coming from, Stiles.” 

Stiles stared into his eyes for a long moment before closing his eyes and sighing softly. 

“I know, I know,” he muttered looking at a spot on the wall. “He’s also fixated on you taking my virginity aged a lovely seventeen.”

Derek sighed softly and nodded again like he knew it was coming. “Again, can you blame him?”

“Does it matter though?”

“It matters when you’re the son of the Sheriff and I knew that.”

“It was consented! I wanted it just as much as you do,” Stiles argued weakly biting the skin around his thumb. 

“There’s still the law,” Derek said with a tilt of his head.

“Oh like you care about that!” Stiles protested shaking his head and moving in when Derek grabbed for him. “I can’t think about this anymore, make me forget.”  
“How?”

“I know one way,” he murmured softly claiming his lips and lingering there when his eyes widened slightly and he raised his eyebrows. “Just make me forget, just for an hour, two tops, just…please.” 

Stiles got his wish and groaned in gratitude when Derek pulled him closer deepening their kiss and moving him to the bed. His back collided with the mattress with Derek’s weight on top of him like he wanted when they quickly pulled off their clothes till he was naked. Stiles spread his legs letting him fit in and closed his eyes with a soft moan when he kissed his neck softly. There was a gentleness there that they often lacked during sex. His lips were soft when he moved across his collarbone and his cock took a great interest when it hardened and ached for release. 

It was the best distraction in the world when he kissed down his stomach and bit around his belly button so he jumped. Stiles glared at him playfully when he looked up at him with mischievous eyes. He was a tease really when he kissed around his pelvis and avoided his cock completely. 

“Derek, please,” he whined when he kissed his inner thighs slowly before sucking a hickey there, his fingers holding him tight and leaving their own marks, and everything felt so good. 

Derek was silent when he nosed at his cock before reaching over and getting the lube out from under the pillow. Stiles watched him and moaned loudly when a lubricated finger invaded him roughly. His other hand pressed against his stomach when he was worked and stretched open enough for Derek. Derek’s mouth was hot and wet against his when he leaned over to kiss him and lick into his mouth. 

“Come on, you asshole!” Stiles demanded thumping the mattress with his fist when he moved away and shoved a third finger up inside of him. “Fuck me!”

“You’re so loud, going to need to gag you,” Derek muttered shaking his head before lining up and pressing inside of him in one stroke. Stiles opened his mouth letting out a long groan when he wrapped his legs around his thighs. The position felt amazing when he rocked his hips and Derek began to thrust into him. 

“Oh come on, this is weak, make me feel it,” Stiles whispered and half laughed half groaned when Derek snapped his teeth at him before biting his neck. 

The bed groaned and creaked underneath him when Derek started to thrust into him harder, his hips pistoling into him so he cried out clinging to him. It was always better when he egged him on and could feel every bare inch of him slamming into him. Stiles wrapped a hand around his own when he stroked himself harder than normal liking the burn and could feel his orgasm already. His thumb stroked over the head feeling the wetness there when he smeared it and moaned when it swept over him. It was like a hot wave under his skin when he clutched Derek closer to him. 

“Stiles, I’m not –”

“I know, I know, do it, come inside of me,” Stiles breathed feeling his own come settle on his stomach when he rocked his hips forcing him deeper. He loved watching him when Derek climaxed inside of him, the pure pleasure and grunt of satisfaction he gave. It was wet and hotter when he felt it splatter his inner walls and caught him when Derek collapsed. Their bodies heaved together before he pulled out and Stiles felt the come trickle slowly out. 

Stiles watched when Derek cocked his head before moving in and lifting his legs to lick it up. He swore softly gripping the sheets when Derek’s tongue licked and sucked the come away with each stroke. It was the strangest sensation but he liked it when Derek finished. His lips pink and shiny, his chin in the same mess when he met his eyes.

“Come here,” Stiles insisted and kissed him hard tasting everything from the come and the sweat lingering there. He turned on his side when Derek moved dropping down next to him breathing hard before pressing up against his back. 

“You okay?” Derek whispered in his ear when Stiles grabbed his hand and linked them together so he could hold his hand. 

“I will be, eventually, just…don’t want to fight with my dad and lose him. I don’t want to lose you,” Stiles whispered. “I feel like we’ve been in the honeymoon period, that’s ended, and now we’re in for the shit storm. It’s not just my dad though.”

“What?”

“You,” he muttered turning to face him. “You promised you’d tell me.”

“It’s not as simple as that.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s my past and I was meant to keep it locked away.”

“Till when? Till it destroys you, you know can you trust me, you know that.”

Derek looked torn when he looked at him and moved to pull away until Stiles got a good grip on him pulling him back. 

“No, don’t, okay? Don’t push me away,” he pleaded squeezing his hand. 

Derek stared at him at him with a sad look before wrenching his hand away and walking away into the bathroom. Stiles swallowed as he sat up bringing his knees up and stared at the closed bathroom door with a heavy heart. It wasn’t like he was ignorant to it and he knew whatever it was that it was a big deal. He just wished he’d finally open up to him.

“So it begins,” he whispered with a soft sigh leaning his chin over his knee.


	12. Chapter 12

The benefits of being in a fight with your dad meant that he wasn’t grounded and he could get drunk with his friends. He spent the night with Derek instead of going home and to say things had been a little awkward between them was an understatement. Derek wasn’t ready to talk to him and he couldn’t force him despite how much he wanted to pin him down and get it out of him. Stiles wanted to know all of them but speaking about the past was difficult in any case. During the night he woke up in his arms and chose to watch him sleep like a creeper. There was a soft almost vulnerable expression on his face when he slept and he wanted to see it forever. He wanted to help him, be there for him, and help him move on from what he was hiding so well. Ever since that day months ago his nightmares were few and few. 

There was the odd time that Derek jerked out of his sleep with a gasp and Stiles pretended to sleep listening to him breathe in and out harshly. He would then always get out of the bed, get a glass of water, before climbing back in and cuddle him. Stiles would let it happen and let him hold him tight because he wanted to be that reassurance he needed. Stiles was desperate to know what they were about and wondered whether or not to ask Cora instead. He eventually decided against that and knew he had to wait it out. 

It was early in the morning that he woke up on Saturday to find himself in an empty bed and Derek already awake. Stiles looked at the time to see it was nearly half past eight. The smell of cigarette smoke hit him and he rolled his eyes as he walked over to him and stood by his side.

“Did you sleep?” he questioned noticing the bags under his eyes. 

“No,” Derek answered simply taking a drag and staring out of the window.

“I wish you’d quit these,” Stiles muttered nodding at the cigarette in his hand. “They’re not good for you.”

“They’re what I need in the morning when I’ve had no sleep,” he replied with a long sigh. “Coffee is in pot.”

He decided against arguing with him when he walked away and poured himself a cup adding sugar and milk. It was satisfying to him and he moaned his pleasure before walking back over to him. Derek looked distant when he simply stared out of the window instead of talking to him. Stiles knew he wasn’t much of a morning person but this was a first. 

“I –”

“I think you should go see your dad,” Derek said interrupting him. 

“I don’t want to, not yet, I don’t know if I’m ready to face him.”

“He’s your dad, your family, you need to talk to him about this. He’s only looking out for you, Stiles, and…you’re lucky to have him,” Derek argued looking at him and raising an eyebrow. 

“What if he’s dead against us?”

“Then there’s nothing we can do.”

Stiles felt something tug in his chest when he looked outside to see a blue sky. It was already a warm day and he liked that he didn’t feel cold in his briefs and Derek’s t-shirt. 

“If he forced me to end things…would you fight for me?” Stiles said softly not knowing why he asked but somehow needing to know the answer. 

Derek was silent as he took a drag before flicking the cigarette away. His silence was a knife to his stomach when he stared at him waiting for the answer. 

“Derek?”

“I wouldn’t win,” he answered walking away from him and heading into the bathroom. The door closed behind him leaving Stiles staring after him stunned and confused feeling an air of change in Derek he didn’t have last night. 

The only thing Stiles could do was wait when he dressed in clean clothes and sat on the bed waiting for him to emerge. Derek eventually did looking refreshed and wearing a towel when he silently dried himself and got dressed. 

“You’re being weird,” Stiles said playing with his fingers. 

“I thought you would have gone by now.”

“Without saying goodbye? What the hell is going on with you? I wake up and I’ve got a side of you that is shitty. I don’t like it,” Stiles argued slamming his hand on the bed and standing up. “Is this about my dad knowing or…the fact that I asked to know the truth and you slammed your walls right up?”

“It’s nothing, I just think you should go home and see your dad. He’s your dad, Stiles,” he said folding his arms over his chest. 

“I know who he is, Derek, he’s also the man threatening to arrest you and asking me to end this between us!”

“He just wants what’s best for you and what’s best for you could be right.”

Stiles was honestly speechless as he stared at him and pushed into his personal space to poke him hard in the chest. 

“Did you have a switch flipped last night or something?! One minute you’re telling me you wouldn’t want this to end and ten hours later you’re telling me you wouldn’t fight for me, that my best interest is to not be with you, and being a complete asshole.” 

“I’m being reasonable.”

“You’re being a dick!” Stiles argued stepping away from him. “What the hell, Derek?”

Derek’s jaw was tense when he looked at the ground instead of him. “Just go home, Stiles.” 

Stiles’ pain and upset was replaced with anger when he grabbed his keys. “Are these your true colours now? Goodbye the Derek I thought I knew?” 

“I don’t need to explain myself to you…” he said trailing off when he looked up at him

“Oh fuck you!” Stiles hissed at him before walking away and yanking open the door and not bothering to close it when he ran down. His anger was a ball of fire in his chest when he pulled open the car door and drove home knowing his dad would be in. He was on the night shift tonight and would hopefully be up and waiting for him. 

The house looked empty when he pulled up and parked. His fingers clutched the wheel for a moment feeling angry with Derek but he knew in an hour it would diminish. Stiles used his key when he opened the front door smelling bacon and lingered there for a moment before shutting the door. His dad was standing in the kitchen waiting for him when he dropped his keys on the table.

“You didn’t take your cell phone,” he said into the silence that stood between them. 

“I, um, I forgot it, you know rushing out and all that.”

“I was worried.”

“I was with Derek, I was safe,” Stiles replied looking up to look at him. “I know you hate this, I know you don’t support but…”

“I’ve had time to think, time to process everything…with a sober mind. I can understand why you didn’t tell me, Stiles, and I can understand your commitment to him. I just want you...happy, safe, and your best interests taken care of.”

“I am happy,” he said honestly. 

“I can’t say I like this at all and I’m still not about happy about the underage sex…”

“I know,” Stiles answered loudly holding up his hands. 

“I also said I would and always would support whatever you do, literally, and even though I don’t like this…I support you in every way,” John said with a nod. “You’re my son, I love you, and if he hurts you I will arrest him, I will torture him, and lock him up ten to twenty years.”

Stiles couldn’t hold back the smile and small burst of laughter as he looked at him. “Thanks dad.”

“I mean it, I know how to use a gun without killing him,” he warned. “Do you want a bacon toastie?”

“Yeah,” he whispered sitting down and felt lighter than he did before. It wasn’t like he was expecting his dad to like it, Scott didn’t like it, but like his dad was now doing he was supporting it. 

The only problem now was Derek who he previously just fought with and told to ‘fuck off’. He didn’t like arguing with him but the sudden switch in him was disturbing and it made his heart clench in worry. His dad looked better though when he handed him the bacon toastie and sat down opposite him. They ate in silence until he was finished and full. Stiles took the way out when he went upstairs and sat on his own bed when he brought out his cell debating whether to call him. His heart won though in the end when he pressed the call button. It rang five times before he answered with a gruff hello. 

“I spoke to my dad, he’s not happy with it, but he’s supporting me and my decision. It doesn’t surprise me since Scott is the same. It’s a bonus though and we’ve made up.” 

“That’s good,” he answered bluntly. 

“Of course it is! What is with you? Is it about last night?”

“No,” he said. 

“You’re a shit liar,” Stiles argued closing his eyes and pinching between his eyebrows. “Just tell me! Stop being an ass.”

“I’m sorry I am so disappointing to you.”

“What? You’re not disappointing to me! You’re being a confusing dick at the moment and I don’t understand why,” Stiles argued with a snap to his tone. “We were fine yesterday and somehow I’ve woken up in an alternative universe or something where everything is the same but you’re a dick.”

“I didn’t sleep, I had to think.”

“Think about what?”

“How your dad could be right about us.”

“What? He’s not! We’ve been doing this for four months, nearly five by the way, and the moment my dad finds out you’re choosing a way out? I don’t believe you,” Stiles argued feeling furious now when he paced. “What’s the real reason?!”

“I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“Well we are!” Stiles cried stopping near window. “Please?”

“I’ll talk to you later,” he said instead ending the call. 

Stiles was speechless when he stared at his cell and threw it on his phone with a groan of annoyance. This was the difficult side of things with him and Stiles couldn’t help but feel annoyed with him. He was anxious and took three of his tablets before laying on his bed and staring up at the ceiling. The one benefit was tonight and he planned to get very drunk with Scott. His hand reached for his cell and he pressed the call button listening to it ring. 

“Stiles, what the hell?” Scott grumbled down the phone sleepily. 

“Rise and shine, sleeping beauty,” he sang and smirked listening to him curse him. “Fancy getting breakfast? I’ve already had it but I need to moan and whine at you.”

“Why?”

“Derek’s being…Derek. We’ve kind of had a fight.” 

Scott sighed deeply shuffling around before answering. “Fine, come pick me up in fifteen minutes.”

“You’re my sun and stars,” he called to him before hanging up and kicking off the bed to stand up. 

He brushed his teeth before leaving and left the house to go pick Scott up and honked the horn waiting for him to emerge. Scott looked tired and annoyed when he climbed into the car and slumped in the seat. 

“It’s too early!”

“Stop moaning!” Stiles said with a small smile. 

“What’s this about you fighting then?”

“It’s not me, it’s him, he’s being weird…oh…yeah, um, I told my dad,” he said slowly watching it wake up Scott when he jolted up.

“What did he say?!”

“Well last night lost his cool, wanted me to break up with him, so I went to Derek’s and when I went back this morning he said he wasn’t happy but he’d support me. He’s basically like you.” 

“Doesn’t that make you realise something?”

“What?”

“That your best friend and your dad see something you’re refusing to not see? I have a bad feeling and you’ve just told me you argued.”

“Every couple argues!” Stiles protested driving them to a diner for coffee for him and food for Scott. 

“Whatever, Stiles, I have a bad feeling and I don’t want you to be hurt.”

“I’m a big boy, Scotty, so are we still on for tonight?” 

“Yeah, let’s hope our ID’s work.”

“Where are we going?” 

“Jungle,” Scott answered giving him a look. 

“The gay bar? Why?”

“Well I’m in a relationship, you’re in a relationship, and Lydia is cutting down…as she put it, also our ID’s will work and Danny will be there.”

“Danny? Since when are we friends with Danny?” Stiles demanded pulling into the car park and parking in an available spot. 

“We’re not, but he’s best friends with Jackson, Jackson dated Lydia and Lydia and him got close…look he’ll be there! It’s somewhere close as well, stop complaining,” Scott argued slapping his arm before getting out. 

Stiles was content and satisfied when they got a table and he got his second coffee of the day. Scott was a hungry animal when he got his breakfast and dug in like he’d been starved. His fingers itched around his cell before he grabbed it and sent a message to Derek. 

_“I don’t know what’s going on but we need to quit it!!! I’m going out tonight, Jungle, cheer the fuck up.”_

Scott was watching him when he put it on the side and he raised an eyebrow at him questioningly. 

“Relationships,” he said in answer when he shrugged. 

Scott chewed softly before letting it slide and continuing to eat his breakfast. His day was going to spend with Scott it seemed when they finished up and headed back to his. It was a day to spend playing video games actually and look at his cell phone to see no reply from Derek and tried to ignore the prickle of worry in his stomach. Eventually the evening came up and Stiles headed home to get ready. His dad was already gone when he got in and got dressed into clothes appropriate for a night out. He left a note for him in the morning telling him he was with Scott.

It was around half seven when he finally got a reply and dived for his phone when it vibrated praying it was from Derek.

_“Be careful.” – Grumpy 7:33pm._

_“It only took you all day! I will.”_

Stiles wanted to get very drunk and he was glad to get going later when he went to pick up Scott and meet the girls there. Their fake ID’s worked to their surprise but he honestly believed it was because the club needed it, the younger, the better, and especially with teenagers. 

“Tell me why we’re in a gay bar again?” Stiles questioned when they found Lydia and Allison inside with drinks already.

“Because they’re excellent,” Lydia answered handing him a blue shot which he automatically downed with a wince. 

“I guess,” he muttered looking around looking at the different men and women lingering, some catching his eyes and looking interested, but he didn’t linger. “Can we just get seriously drunk?”

“Yes,” Lydia agreed grabbing his hand and dragging him with her when they found somewhere to sit. 

“I’ve never been here before,” Allison said with a small smirk and nudged Scott and pointed to a guy. “Totally checking you out.”

“I’m not interested,” he hissed nudging her back. 

“He’s cute, I’m not opposed to threesomes,” she said casually. 

Stiles snorted into his hand when Scott stared at her stunned and a little bit aroused. 

“Fancy doing tequilas with me?” Lydia said turning towards him.

“Yes,” he said bluntly leaving Scott to invade Allison’s mouth and took her hand. 

His money from his birthday and his savings was about to blown away in the best way possible when they drank tequila, vodka, beer, sweet drinks that made him gag, and all of them were making him feeling tipsy and warm. 

“Stiles?”

“Danny!” he exclaimed stumbling a little wrapping his arm around his shoulder. “We’ve been looking for you.”

“I text you,” Lydia pouted pointing a manicured nail at him. 

“No signal in here, god it’s barely midnight and you two are hammered!” he said looking at them both amused. “Where’s Scott?”

Stiles’ vision was unfocused when he looked around and pointed over to the corner to see them practically having clothed sex. 

“Wow,” Danny muttered with wide eyes. “Well let’s get drunk, well drunker.”

Stiles couldn’t agree more of that as he decided to forget about the day, forget about Derek, and focused on the sambuca they were about to order. 

~*~

Derek glared at the television screen when he drank a beer and tried to ignore his heart shouting at him. His heart and mind were on different wavelengths. The truth was that learning Stiles had told his dad had been a shock and a relief to him. They no longer had to hide it but it terrified him also. In the beginning when everything began he didn’t honestly believe they would reach this point and when Stiles started to press him about his own secrets he couldn’t help but throw up the walls. 

Derek knew he was an ass to him this morning and ignoring his texts was a sure way to get Stiles to be pissed off with him. In his mind though it was easier to push him away instead of telling the truth, something Cora didn’t agree with. 

“Are you seriously telling me you let Stiles go to a gay bar?!” Cora demanded standing in front of the television. 

“Yes,” he answered meeting her eyes before looking away. “You hinting that I don’t trust him?”

“No, I’m thinking of the other losers in there who will take advantage of him!” 

“Maybe he’ll meet someone who’s better for him,” he mumbled standing up and heading into the kitchen.

“What?” she demanded watching him walk away. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about none of your business.”

“You’re my brother, you’re my business, what the hell is that supposed to mean? You’re hoping for him to meet someone who is better for him?” she cried glaring at him. “What happened last night?”

“Nothing!”

“Derek!”

“He told his dad and asked me about my past…again!” he shouted back at her. 

“Okay, how is this a bad thing? He deserves to know!”

“No, no, he doesn’t, he’s going to find out what I did…what I let happen…and he’ll leave anyway. It’s better to let him go sooner rather than later.”

“Are you kidding me?” she hissed stepping towards him. “It wasn’t your fault, Derek, it was hers, it was all of them, every single person who came into your life and hurt you. Stiles has never done that! You’re not only hurting yourself but him as well by doing and thinking this.”

“Why the hell do you care?” Derek snapped angrily glaring at her. “Don’t think I don’t know that you’re fucking one of my best friends, Cora, I should know…I’ve smelt that aftershave enough and know exactly what he’s like in bed. You’re my sister, I love you, but don’t interfere.”

Cora’s jaw clenched in upset and anger as she stared at him with betrayed eyes. “This, this is why you are a complete asshole. Fine, you push Stiles away, you push away the only family member you have, and then realise how alone you really are. How pathetic you can be…maybe he is better off without you…maybe we both are.” 

Derek’s throat felt cogged when he watched her sniff as she walked away and walked out of the loft. There was nothing he could say and he knew who she’d run to and who’s shoulder she’d cry on. He was about to turn to the bottle and get the weed he had in his drawer out when his cell phone rang with an unknown number. 

“Hello?”

“Hey, is this Derek?”

“Yes, who’s this?” he pressed uneasily. 

“Scott, Stiles’ best friend, he’s, um, he’s hammered right now and I can’t take him back to mine because my mom will kill me, I can’t take him home because the Sheriff, and he’s asking for you.”

Derek closed his eyes with a sigh. “Where are you?”

“On the corner near Jungle.”

“Stay there, I’ll be fifteen minutes,” he said ending the call and headed out to go get him. It was a semi warm night when he got into the car and drove to where he remembered where it was. He eventually found them with them both sitting on the sidewalk, Stiles’ head on Scott’s shoulder. 

“Derek!?” Stiles demanded when he got out. “D-Dude what are you – you doing here?”

“I’ve come for you, get up,” he ordered holding out his hands for him to take hold of when he hauled him onto his feet. Stiles reeked of alcohol when he pressed closer to him and wrapped his arms around his neck. 

“Aw, you came for me,” he muttered with a grin. “I – I don’t feel too well.”

“Did you drink the whole bar?”

“No! I’m not…I’m not drunk, I’m not, hey, hey, this is Scotty!” he whispered poking his cheek and pointing at Scott who was watching them with narrowed eyes. 

“I figured, come on,” he murmured attempting him to haul him into the car when his lips were on his. They were warm and tasted like tequila but he couldn’t help but kiss him back. His hands holding him up and the cough from Scott was enough to draw him away and support a near enough sleeping Stiles. He gingerly got him into the car and strapped him in before facing Scott who stepped forward. 

“I’ve been waiting to speak to you.”

“Oh really, I feel honoured,” he responded sarcastically slamming the door closed. 

“I’m going to get to the point because I need to get back and my girlfriend is waiting for me but…he’s my best friend, we’ve been friends for a long time and he’s like my brother, and I will always defend him. I don’t like this relationship but he likes you, really likes you, so don’t…don’t hurt him,” Scott said staring into his eyes. “Don’t.” 

The speech caught him off guard when he stared at him unable to reply to him. Derek nodded though watching Scott inhale deeply before taking off and walking down the sidewalk. He watched him leave before getting into the car and starting her up. Stiles was passed out in the passenger seat next to him he drove them back to the loft. 

He didn’t wake him up when they arrived and simply unbuckled him and carried him bridal style upstairs. The moment they got into the loft though his eyes opened and he gagged obviously needing to vomit. Derek got him there just in time when he gagged convulsing when he vomited into the bowel. The smell hit him when he rubbed his back gently when he whimpered emptying the contents of his stomach. 

“Derek,” he whined pitifully when he leaned against him. “What…where am I?”

“My home.”

“What?” Stiles mumbled confused blinking up at him. “Where’s…where’s Lydia?”

“No idea,” he muttered and winced when Stiles vomited into the bowel and slumped with his head inside of it. “You’re a mess, Stiles, how much did you drink?”

“Lydia’s…fault,” he muttered sleepily. 

“I think it was you.”

“She’s, she’s, not a woman, she’s the…the devil!” he whispered lifting his head to look at him. “Hey!” 

“What?” he murmured softly.

“I – I have to tell you something,” he whispered pulling him closer. 

Derek looked into his eyes and nodded instead of replying. 

“I…I love you,” he muttered gripping his shirt tight in his fist. “I do, I love you, like love you, Derek.”

Stiles was drunk and drunk men rambled nonsense but they always tell the truth in some way. The three words left him reeling when he stared into the clouded eyes and drunken eyes of him and he didn’t know how to answer. Stiles didn’t linger though when he moved away to vomit and left Derek to kneel there inhaling the smell of sweat, vomit, and alcohol lingering in the air. Stiles slumped against him when he was done flushing the toilet and he carefully wrapped his arms around his waist supporting him. 

His eyes closed and Stiles almost automatically fell asleep against him when he leaned against the wall staring into space. It was all he could do when he stayed in the bathroom and the minutes ticked by. His words, Cora’s words, and everything he felt pounding in his skull like a headache. His back and legs eventually protested and he hauled himself up with Stiles against him before dropping him onto the bed.

“You owe me big time,” he grumbled when he stripped him off and grabbed the bucket from the kitchen to put by his side. 

His eyes ached for sleep but he couldn’t do it when his head decided to think of everything all at once. It was frustrating as hell and he knew it was only going to get worse in the morning when Stiles woke up with a hangover and questions. 

Derek turned on his side looking over at Stiles breathing in and out and let that lull him into a sleep. It was uneasy and he found himself waking up throughout the night till morning time when he felt achy and Stiles woke up. The moan of protest was what registered him to open his eyes and look over to see him clutching his head. 

“Oh fuck,” he whispered before leaning over the side and vomiting yet again. “Oh fuck, fuck, fuck!”

“Hungover?”

“Fuck off,” Stiles protested weakly.

Derek smirked faintly as he climbed out of the bed and went to get him a glass of water and tablets. The whole place reeked of sweat and sick when he opened all the windows to let the fresh air in. 

“How the hell am I here?”

“Do you not remember?”

“I…I remember a lot of alcohol, Danny…Lydia…and Scott falling over. How am I here?”

“Scott called me, he couldn’t take you home or to his.”

Stiles swore again softly rubbing his forehead when he sipped the water. “I feel disgusting!” 

“You drank the contents of the bar it seemed, you spent half the night throwing up,” Derek said feeling smug and amused when Stiles grimaced covering his face. 

“Are you still an asshole?” he questioned uncovering his face to stare at him. “Want to explain to me why you turned into Mr Hyde yesterday?”

“My own reasons.”

“Shit reasons,” Stiles grumbled leaning back into his pillow. “I don’t like fighting. It sucks, my dad is okay with us, he’s not happy, but he’ll come around. I can wait as well, wait for you to tell me whatever you’re holding back.” 

“What if I never tell you?”

“What if I told you first?”

“Told me what?”

Stiles looked pale and shaky when he sat up leaning against the headboard. “I don’t have any major secrets…just my mom. I know what it’s like to lose a family member, Derek, I lost my mom when I was just a kid. She had cancer, a rare form, it was killing her, incurable, and I – I couldn’t do anything to save her. I was…I was the one to hold her hand when she died. I watched her hair fall out, her weight drop, her eyes become lifeless, and I blamed myself. I blamed myself for months.”

Derek was honestly shocked when he stopped in the middle of the floor and watched him twist the comforter in between his fingers. Stiles looked lost and small when he refused to meet his eyes. 

“She was my mom and I couldn’t help her. That’s my secret, my burden, the stuff that still gives me bad dreams when I dream of her! Why can’t you tell me?” Stiles demanded from him. 

“I just – I can’t, Stiles.”

“I just want to help.”

“I don’t need your help,” Derek muttered seeing the hurt flicker in Stiles’ eyes when he stared at him before he bowed his head. 

“Do you not trust me?”

“It’s not about trust.”

“Then what is it about?”

“Protecting myself,” Derek said honestly folding his arms over his chest. 

“From what? You think I’m going to judge you?!”

“I don’t know what you’re going to think!”

“Fuck, Derek, I’m not trying to force you here,” Stiles protested climbing out of the bed and facing him with pleading eyes. “I know how difficult this is for you…hell I’ve waited months for you to tell me! I’m not going to judge you, I just want you to tell me…what leaves you so scared.” 

Derek couldn’t look at him as he stared at a spot on the floor instead of him and closed his eyes when he came into his personal space suddenly. 

“I know I probably stink right now, I’m sorry, but you can trust me, you can,” he insisted reaching up to turn his face towards him. 

“I thought you weren’t forcing me.”

“I’m not!”

“Then do me a favour, Stiles, and back off,” he whispered tugging his hand away roughly and heading into the bathroom slamming the door behind him hard. His hands slammed into the wall with a grunt of frustration at the ache in his chest and stomach. 

Derek lingered there till he was fed up of the toilet and opened the door slowly. The loft was empty when he walked out, the door open, and Stiles gone. It was silent as he looked around and up at the ceiling were Cora lived. She wasn’t there and probably wouldn’t return for some time, he didn’t blame her, he didn’t blame Stiles for leaving. Derek inhaled deeply as he sat in the space that was still warm from Stiles and found the weed he stashed. 

It was one step forward, three steps back, and he placed the joint in his mouth and lit it inhaling deeply. The first hit was relaxing and he slumped into the mattress ready to forget everything and ease the ache in his chest and his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry!
> 
> It only gets worse! I swear it'll get better soon enough but for now...angst ahead. 
> 
> Thank you for comments, kudos, and the support, guys. I just keeping getting these out every 1-2 days now.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for kudos and comments guys!

Stiles hated how he felt, he hated how he felt clingy and desperate, and he hated how angry and upset he felt. School was a distraction but a bad distraction when all he wanted to do was run away and Scott and Allison were a pain in the ass with their perfect relationship. His texts to Derek were ignored, his phone calls declined and he had no idea what was happening. Their relationship wasn’t exactly perfect but he wanted to keep it that way. He wanted to keep their relationship and make it work. It was two days since Derek told him to back off and made him feel unwanted. 

He was fed up and the only way to get him to talk to him was to go to the loft. Cora hadn’t been in school for days and he knocked hastily and waited. The door opened and Cora stood there looking pale and stared at him. 

“I guess you’re looking for Derek.”

“Yeah, I haven’t heard from him in two days. He’s my boyfriend, it kind of sucks,” Stiles said with a tilt of his head. “Is he there?”

“No,” she muttered opening it wider to let him pass. “He left yesterday with Erica and Boyd. I think he’s off for an early weekend bender. I don’t know where he is before you ask. I can only guess it’s in town and they’re staying in town. Derek being classic Derek and blowing the inheritance money on booze and drugs.” 

Stiles felt sick as he watched her rant and moved to sit on the sofa. “I have to find him, talk to him, he’s ignoring my texts and calls.”

“You’re not the only one,” she admitted holding up her own cell phone and thumbing through it. “This is what he does, Stiles, he lets his guard down and when it’s get too scary he throws his walls right up and pushes away the ones he loves.” 

“Why?” he whispered sitting down next to her. 

“It’s easier, protects him, he keeps everything to himself till it becomes too much. You were a risk for him, always have been, and now that risk is trying to make him open up. Derek has a lot of stuff he keeps hidden from me, from everyone.” 

“Is there anything you can tell me?”

Cora turned her head to look at him and sighed deeply. “I don’t know.”

Stiles licked his lips feeling the rough skin with his tongue and had an inner debate with himself whilst Cora did the same next to him. 

“I can tell you one thing…because it affects us both really…even though Derek thinks it’s all his fault but…it was hers.”

“What is it?” he murmured turning his body towards her. 

“We survived the fire, Derek, Laura, and me, we survived, and the only thing we could do was leave. Derek was a mess, Laura was the anchor for us both, strong, determined, and holding in her grief. I was only ten at the time, I was confused, angry, scared, and Laura drove us out of Beacon Hills and we headed towards the airport, we dumped the car, and we got onto a plane to New York. It was all her, she got the apartment, she got us settled, but in reality it was a lot different,” Cora said standing up to walk around the room. 

“Grief hits us in different ways, it’s not the same for everyone, and Laura held back for a long time, years even. Derek lost himself in alcohol and what I didn’t know at the time was they both took drugs to forget. I knew, I was young but I knew, weed…pills…anything to numb the pain. Derek, back then, wasn’t too bad but Laura was a different story. Laura hit the hard stuff, cocaine, ecstasy, she’d go out for hours, even days sometimes.”

“Laura lost a lot of weight, she cared about nothing else but herself, and Derek…just stopped. He didn’t take drugs anymore, he looked after me, he took me to school, he did the shopping, and he did the laundry. It was like he wanted to redeem himself, he wanted to take over. Derek got better, Laura got worse, and he tried to help her.” 

“What did he do?” Stiles muttered softly. 

“He confronted her one night, he had done various times but this time was different, he called her out on her shit. She fought back and said they both as bad as each other but he was worse. It was a vicious fight, I was fifteen and listening from my bedroom. Laura was screaming at him, calling him all the names under the sun, and he called her disgusting and a disappointment and that maybe we’d be better off without her. Laura argued back that it was all his fault, his fault for the fire, the reason she was like how she was.” 

“What happened to her?”

Cora sighed deeply as she moved to sit next to him and brought her knees up to her chest. 

“The fight ended and she went out, Derek stayed behind, and we got a call at three am from the hospital that Laura had overdosed on pills, drugs, alcohol. We drove all the way there and Derek – he was hysterical, he was screaming at the doctors and nurses to let him see her, but they wouldn’t. We were forced to wait in this private room and…they couldn’t save her. Laura died at four am that night from an overdose.”

“He blames himself,” Stiles whispered in horrified realisation. 

“He always has, always will,” she said bitterly. “It was her fault, she knew what she was doing even it was an accident. We stayed in New York for a year before moving back here. I can tell you this because it happened to both of us. The other stuff isn’t for me to tell you.”

“I need to find him.”

“I don’t know where he is.”

“Isaac must know!” Stiles cried looking at her desperately. 

“Isaac doesn’t know anything,” she argued rubbing her forehead and standing up. 

“Can we not track his cell?”

“What?” Cora demanded spinning on her heel to face him. “What do you think we are? Agents? I wouldn’t know how.”

“If his GPS is on then…yeah!”

“You’re insane, just wait for him to come back.” 

“No, I need to talk to him…I think he’s going to end it,” he protested shaking his head. 

“End it?”

“Us,” he muttered gesturing at himself.

“Stiles, he wouldn’t.”

Stiles swallowed hard staring down at his hands instead of her. “Do you think he’d cheat?”

“No,” she said honestly. 

“I told him I loved him,” Stiles murmured softly noticing her surprise. “I was drunk at the time, I remember it, and I don’t know how since I can barely remember anything but I remember telling him.” 

“I think he loves you too,” she said and looked up meeting his eyes. “You doubt it?”

“He’s ignoring me!”

“He wouldn’t have done everything he’s done and doing if he didn’t love you, Stiles, he took you to San Francisco, he gave you a thousand dollars, he lets you stay over, he does everything for you. The reason he pushes people away is because he doesn’t believe he deserves to be happy! He doesn’t deserve to be loved and let me tell you…his last relationships were the something of nightmares and doubt.”

“Fuck,” Stiles muttered tilting his head back and heard her walk away when she headed into the kitchen. Cora hummed in agreement when she got him a beer and handed it over to him.

“Don’t go looking, wait for him, he’ll be back soon enough,” she murmured patting his shoulder when they sat down and drank their beers in silence. 

“I’m sorry about Laura, she was your sister,” he said softly.

“Yeah,” she murmured. “Well as nice as this was, really, I think you should go. If I hear anything, I’ll tell you.”

“Yeah, thanks,” he muttered taking the beer with him when he headed out and instead of going home got into his car for a drive. 

Stiles found himself in the park as he mulled everything over in his mind and attempted to deal with everything. He brought out his cell once again and dialled his number pressing it against his ear listening to it ring out till he got his voicemail.

“Hey, it’s me, again, for the hundredth time, I hate that you’re ignoring me! I also spoke to Cora, she explained a few things. I just want to talk, please, can you call me back or better come home? This sucks,” he said before ending the call and staring out at the park. 

He headed back home after that feeling crap and decided to lounge in front of the television eating chips and drinking a ton of soda. His dad came in later that evening and eyed him before sitting down in his chair. 

“You look miserable,” he commented. 

“I feel it!” he said with a nod. “How was work?”

“Tiring, what’s up?”

“It’s nothing,” he murmured with a shake of his head. “Just having a bad day.” 

“You sure?”

“Yeah dad, I’m sure,” he said trying to sound reassuring despite how he really felt. 

Stiles was glad to be left alone when he shoved his hand in the bag of chips and shoved them into his mouth. He wanted to be left alone to eat and watch everything crap. His attention was also on his silent cell phone and he knocked it to the floor with a sigh. It looked like an early night was on the cards when the hours passed and he climbed under the covers at ten that evening. His eyes were trained on the window and he jumped out of his skin when his cell vibrated to see a new message from Cora. 

_“Message from Isaac. I was right, they’re in town, apparently caused a disturbance. I’m giving you the address in the next text. Go to him.” – Cora. 10:22pm._

Stiles fumbled when he jerked out of the bed and fell onto the floor with a grunt when he grabbed his clothes yanking them on. His cell vibrated with the address and he dove for the door practically flying down the stairs. 

“Whoa, where’s the fire?” his dad said standing near the doorway. 

“Um, none at all, I need to go see Derek,” he explained with a hand gesture. “It’s kind of important and I need to do this.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, hopefully, I’ll call, text, the works, I have to go,” he pleaded with him. 

“I don’t like this, Stiles.”

“Neither do I,” he admitted before yanking the front door open and heading out. He knew the motel he was currently staying at and he gripped the steering wheel hard. 

It was either going to be the best decision he made or the worst when he travelled out of Beacon Hills heading into town. It took a good twenty minutes before he arrived looking at the flickering neon sign for rooms available and parked. Stiles got out looking around till he saw the car parked and looked around the many yellow doors wondering which one he was at. The reception was the best bet when he headed over there to see a young woman behind the desk. 

“Hey,” he said walking in and smiling brightly at her when she looked up and her eyes widened taking him in. “I need your help.”

“You looking for a room?”

“Yeah but not for me, I’m looking for someone who might be staying here, one of these names, Derek Hale, Erica Reyes, or Vernon Boyd?” he said propping his elbows on and continuing to smile when she got flustered tucking a brown strand of her hair behind her ear. 

“I can’t really give out personal information…”

“Oh no, they’re my friends! They gave me the address but not the door number, idiots, I know, and I know you can help me out. Please?” he said with tease in his tone and watched her bite her lip and look at the computer typing away. 

“Yes, one name here, Erica Reyes, she’s in room fifty,” she said meeting his eyes with a pink tinge on her cheeks. “So…are you staying the night or…”

“Who knows? Thanks!” he said brightly slapping the counter before he left. His eyes scanned the area before he found it and hammered on the door waiting till it opened. It was Erica who opened the door squinting at him confused. 

“Stilinski?” she croaked. 

“Hey, Derek there?” he demanded slamming his hand on the door. 

“No…he’s down in fifty three…what the hell…?” she murmured.

Stiles swallowed when he walked away from her and hammered on the door till he heard movement and the door opened. Derek looked rough as hell when he stared at him confused also.

“Stiles?”

“Hey honey, I’m home!” Stiles cried sarcastically as he pushed his way in and turned on the lights when he slammed the door closed. “Fuck, Derek, you look like shit.”

“What the fuck are you doing here?” he muttered sitting heavily on the bed. 

Stiles took a moment to look around the room, the walls a pale green, the carpet brown and crusted with stuff he didn’t want to imagine, and the bed was probably appalling. Derek looked like hell and there was no understatement. His stubble more potent on his cheeks, his eyes dark with bags underneath his eyes, and his hair a disarray. He stunk of sweat and vomit and it made Stiles want to run away. 

“You apparently made a disturbance?”

“We got chucked around, they called the cops, so we’re laying low.”

“I got a text from Cora, Cora got a text from Isaac, and they probably text him about what happened and where they were,” Stiles ranted walking to the bathroom and peering inside of it. “Two days, Derek, I call, I text, I feel like an overbearing boyfriend! I feel ridiculous and stupid for wanting to know you’re okay when you’re here…drinking and taking drugs.” 

“I didn’t ask you to do all those things,” he muttered looking up at him. 

“Yeah, I did them for myself, because I care!” 

Derek was quiet when he stared at the floor instead of him. Stiles sighed deeply when he scrubbed his hands down his face and walked over to him. 

“Cora told me, Derek.”

“Cora told you what?” Derek demanded standing up and invading his personal space. “Stiles!”

“Fuck, she just – just told me about Laura…” he muttered backing up and staring into his eyes. “She told me what I needed to know, Derek!”

Stiles couldn’t help but flinch when Derek turned with a clenched jaw and punched the wall hard. The wall paper along with the wallpaper cracked under his fist and it left Stiles reeling when he stared at him. 

“She shouldn’t have told you.”

“You shouldn’t be blaming yourself.” 

“It’s my fault!” he shouted turning grief ridden eyes towards him. Stiles could see the pain there, the raw emotion he hid well from him, and he couldn’t help but reach out for him. He couldn’t deny it hurt when he moved away. 

“Did you force the drugs and alcohol down her neck? Did you force her into it? No, I don’t think you did. It was an accident, Derek, an overdose –” Stiles argued and couldn’t hold back the grunt of pain when his back hit the wall when Derek slammed him against it. 

“You have no idea!” 

“I do, Cora told me!”

“No, you don’t, Stiles, you weren’t there! You have from Cora’s point of view and she was just a kid at the time,” Derek shouted into his face. “It is my fault, everything that happened is my fault, and I drove her away! 

“No, Derek, okay, no, people are aware of their own actions and Laura had to be aware of her own! You’re not…you’re not at blame for her death!”

“Yes I am! She wouldn’t have taken them if it wasn’t for me…if it wasn’t for the fire.” 

“Did you cause it?”

“No, but I’m to blame,” he argued stepping away from him. 

“How?” Stiles whispered pressing a hand to his own lower back feeling an ache there. 

“I can’t…” Derek muttered shaking his head and closing his eyes. 

“Derek, you can, okay, you can, why do you think you are to blame for the fire? It was arson, right? I read the report…family trapped in, fire burnt throughout the entire house, and the only survivors were you, Laura, Cora, and…your uncle who’s in a coma. He’s in Beacon Hills hospital, right?”

“Yes,” he replied through gritted teeth. “It’s how it happened.”

“How did it happen?”

“It was my fault,” Derek said with a soft sigh moving away. “I didn’t see the signs. I was sixteen, young, horny…desperate. She was beautiful, older than me, and took a great interest. Why wouldn’t I let her in?”

“Who was she?”

“Kate Argent.”

“Argent?” he whispered feeling a shiver ran down his spine when Allison’s face came into his mind. “I heard about her, I was only a kid, but I could read a newspaper. She was mad, sent to an asylum.”

“She thought we were monsters, wanted to kill us all, she called us abominations, and after taking…everything I had she killed my family. I let her in, I let her whisper in my ear, and her mad mind, her insanity killed them all,” he said staring at the wall instead of him. “I let her in, my family died, Laura couldn’t cope and took an overdose, and I drove her away.”

Stiles felt sick when he watched him turn towards him and narrow his eyes at him. 

“So, tell me, Stiles, how it’s not my fault?”

“It isn’t!” Stiles argued and swallowed when Derek let out a hollow chuckle.

“Sure, go home, Stiles, your dad is probably waiting for you.”

“You were manipulated by a woman who was mad, Derek, how was it your fault? You were sixteen!” 

“I should have known!”

“Well you didn’t!” Stiles said gripping his arm and turning towards him. “You’re not to blame for your family dying, I can understand why you’d blame yourself because who wouldn’t? They died in an arson attack from a woman who manipulated and seduced you when you were sixteen. Your sister died in an overdose from too many drugs and alcohol, an accident, something that happened and couldn’t be undone. _It’s not your fault.”_

Stiles grip on him tightened when Derek struggled against his. 

“Am I judging you, Derek?” 

Derek’s eyes were fierce when they met his and he ripped his arm away forcing him back. 

“Go home,” he whispered. 

“Derek…” 

“GO HOME!” Derek shouted at him so he jumped staring at him feeling his heart quicken in fear and anger. 

“You’re such a fucking dick!” Stiles argued back walking over to him and shoving him hard in the chest so he stumbled back. “Fucking hell, Derek, I know now, I know and I’m not judging you like you said I would! Why are you pushing me away?”

“Because you forced it out of me.”

“Bullshit!” he cried shaking his head. “I didn’t do anything, I didn’t force Cora, and I didn’t force you. I asked you to let me in and you said no and you ran away. I spent two days trying to talk to you whilst you ignored me and drank your weight in alcohol!” 

“I didn’t ask you to,” Derek replied weakly sitting on the bed and grabbing the bottle of vodka off the side. 

“I did it because, again, I care, stupidly enough. Oh, and I remember what I said,” Stiles said with a humourless laugh. “When I was drunk off everything and I told you I loved you.”

“You were drunk.”

“Does it matter?”

“Not really,” Derek murmured shaking his head once and meeting his eyes. “You were drunk, it didn’t mean anything, Stiles.” 

“What if I said it sober?” he questioned stepping towards him. 

“Don’t…”

“What if I said it sober?” he repeated louder. 

“Then I’d say I don’t want to hear it!” Derek shouted back at him standing up and moving to walk around the room. 

The sting of his words were like a knife to his gut when he watched him pull out a cigarette and pop it into his mouth. Stiles closed his eyes for a moment before swallowing and facing him. 

“You don’t think you deserve to be happy or even loved do you?”

“Not anymore.”

“So…what I can’t even do that for you?” Stiles said heading to the window and opening the pale yellow blind covering it. “Derek Hale, unloved, unhappy, I guess your gravestone will be excellent!” 

Derek shot him an unimpressed look when he looked over his shoulder at him and smiled sadly. 

“So I’m guessing I wasn’t enough, I got to the last chapter of you, and you hate it. I just wanted to help, Derek, it’s all I wanted. I thought we could help each other. I just…I just wanted to know you better. Four months, well…in a few days five months since everything began and now I know.”

“You couldn’t wait till I wanted to tell you, you had to force, push, and even go to my sister to learn the truth. If I wanted you to know, Stiles, about my sister, about Kate, then I would have told you in my own time. But no, not you, pushing, insistent, annoying, and always there demanding time and stupid little secrets. It’s like I couldn’t breathe half the time!” Derek said coldly. 

“You’re such an asshole.”

“Yeah,” Derek agreed with a nod taking a drag. 

Stiles bit his lip staring at the floor instead of him feeling the ache there in his chest. “So we’re over?”

“It was over when Cora told you,” Derek muttered after a long minute of silence. 

Stiles blinked and felt that ache in the back of your throat before you wanted to cry. The wobble of his bottom lip when he clenched his fists together and faced him. 

“So all of it for nothing? My birthday, everything,” Stiles muttered watching him stare at everything around the room but not him. “All because I asked to get to know you better?! Fuck you, Derek, seriously…Fuck. You. I told you about my mom! I wanted you to know! The only person who knows apart from you is Scott because he was there! I didn’t force anyone and I thought you were different.”

Derek didn’t speak as he stubbed the cigarette out before facing him. “What do you want me to say?”

“I shouldn’t have to tell you.”

“You should go,” Derek said softly looking at the carpet. 

“Derek Hale, unhappy, unloved…alone,” Stiles muttered with a hard swallow as he exited the room and slammed the door behind him when he headed to the car. He didn’t know how he hold his composure until he got to the car and pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he whispered before starting the car up and driving home. He got home in time before his curfew and his dad opened the door silently looking at him. Stiles shook his head when his dad opened his mouth and simply headed upstairs to his bed. 

The bed was cold and lumpy when he stared up at the ceiling feeling tears sting his eyes and a stray one run down his cheek slowly. His hand reached up brushing it away and he hated himself for how stupid he felt. 

~*~

Derek felt exhausted and his head ached from a headache when he opened the door to the loft needing food, a shower, and a good night sleep. The first thing that greeted him was a slap to the face from a furious Cora who invaded his personal space. 

“Hello to you too,” he muttered clutching his cheek. 

“I have nothing to say to you that doesn’t involve you being an absolute fucking idiot! Enjoy your fucking around, Derek?” she hissed at him when he moved away from her. 

“Yes, I did, thanks for asking.”

“Why did you do it?”

“Why did you tell Stiles about Laura?”

“He wanted to know, I told him, he deserved to know what makes you into this! To hate yourself so much that you have to do this every single time. To become what Laura became in the end…a fucking mess,” she said looking him up and down in disgust. “She was my sister too. Stiles wanted to know and I told him. It’s not like it’s the secret of the year.” 

“I would have told in time!”

“No you wouldn’t, you can barely tell it yourself.”

“You shouldn’t have told him.”

Cora rolled her eyes folding her arms over her chest. “Where is he?”

“Home, probably, I don’t know, I don’t care.”

“Yes you do,” she said with a smirk. 

“No, I don’t, we’re over.”

“What?” she whispered staring at him with wide eyes. “Seriously?”

“Yes, Cora,” he muttered looking through the fridge before pulling out the meat and ignoring the ache in his chest when he thought of Stiles’ face last night. He didn’t get any sleep last night and didn’t move from the window when he watched him drive away. 

“Why? Because he knows about Laura?”

“I told him about Kate.”

“It’s about time…” she murmured watching him in surprise. “I thought…in the end…this would be a good thing. He could help you realise that it’s not your fault and help you heal.”

“You sound like him.”

“We speak sense!”

“Just…leave me alone, Cora, I’ve got a headache and I need to sleep.”

“You’ve made the worst mistake by the way, he was probably the best thing to happen to you since her…since all those women and men you took to bed and not one of them satisfying. Let’s hope you realise it before it’s too late,” she said before she left putting on her sunglasses and leaving the loft. 

The loft was quiet yet again when he moved away to turn on the stove and start cooking the food he desperately craved. In the end it tasted like crap in his mouth and he ended up chucking it in the trash before heading to the shower. It was there that his mind decided to replay last night, every word shouted at him, the look of pain and betrayal on Stiles’ face when he argued with him. His heart and mind were on the same wavelength when they made him realise what an asshole that Stiles and Cora favoured calling him.

Sleep didn’t seem to agree with him either when he got into the bed and all he could smell was Stiles’ deodorant on the pillow next to him. It was hell and he turned over staring out across the floor before closing his eyes and letting it wash over him slowly. His dreams were mixed of screams and fire and Stiles watching him from the corner of his eye.

Derek woke up hours later with a foul mouth and desperately drank down the juice before sitting down. His cell phone was quiet and free from messages when he scanned through it and went to his messages. The ones from Stiles ignored and radiating his concern. The answerphone messages that he listened to whilst high and ignored when he tossed his phone aside. His phone calls declined not just by him but Erica who attempted to make him cheat. 

The thought made his stomach turn when he lay back and looked up in surprise when the door opened and Cora walked in holding a grocery bag. 

“You look surprised. Who else would it be?” she said raising an eyebrow at him. “It’s not going to be Stiles. You made sure of that.” 

“We have food.”

“Yes, you do, I don’t,” she said unpacking her stuff and looked over at him. “You’ve been gone for days and I’m not eating your crap. I’m going back out, Isaac’s taking me to see a film, and I say we make out in the back. What are you going to do? I hear Erica and Boyd have gone out to see her mom for a couple of weeks. Enjoy your night in alone.”

Derek glared at her when she smiled at him weakly before going up the stairs to get changed. He kept his mouth shut when he clutched at the comforter and watched her head towards the door and leave without a goodbye. There was an ache in chest that he hated being there when he went for the only thing that would give him release. The bottles of beer in the fridge were his salvation when he sat on the sofa opening one. 

The television screen shown some mindless programme when he stared at it and attempted not to think. Thinking brought nothing but angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for comments and kudos! :)

“You’re making me feel depressed. You literally look like an extra from a shit zombie film,” Lydia said slamming a hand onto his locker door when she closed it. “Five days, Stiles, five days of watching you walk around school looking gormless. Scott all worried, Allison being the supportive and doting girlfriend and it’s disgusting. Now tell me right now what’s happened.” 

“This is a weird hello.”

“Do not fuck with me,” she muttered pointing a finger at him. “I’m very intuitive when I want to be and I’m guessing argument with Derek or you’ve broken up.”

“Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner,” he muttered sarcastically facing her. “We broke up, five days ago. No, I don’t want to talk about it. Bye!”

Lydia gripped his wrist tugging him back when he went to walk away. “You really think that is going to work on me?”

“Where were you four days ago?”

“I had more important things.” 

“I have an important thing, I have a history essay due in, and I’m trying to avoid Scott and his constant questions over my own welfare!” 

Lydia gave him a look which he desperately tried to ignore. “You’re going to come to mine after school. I have the perfect remedy for broken hearts.”

“My heart is not broken!”

“Yes it is, you look like you’ve had five hours sleep, your clothes want to make me cry, and you reek of being recently single.”

Stiles huffed out a deep sigh before giving in and nodding. Lydia was smug when she patted his cheek before walking away. He rolled his eyes and headed to the library hoping to avoid Scott. It was pretty easy to tell him things had ended between him and Derek but he didn’t explain the details despite how many times he’s pressed for it. He was sympathetic but there was a part of Stiles that knew Scott was partly relieved they were over. The library was empty when he got in and found an empty table in the back. 

History was a dull affair but it was time to focus on his studies and hopefully get to final year with a focus. He was writing his notes down when someone scraped the chair backwards and sat down. Stiles paused recognising the perfume and looked up to see Cora staring at him. 

“Hey,” he said with a wave of his hand. “Need some help?”

“Why haven’t you been to see him?”

“Because we’ve broken up and it’d be weird.”

“He’s miserable, he’s worse than he’s ever been, and he needs you. He’ll never admit it, it’s not Derek to admit his feelings but I know he loves you.”

“Funny way of showing it when he breaks up with me,” he said pointing his pen at her before jotting down his notes again. 

“You opened up the floodgates! You got all the info and he freaked out like he usually does.”

“I pressed too hard, he was right, I should have waited,” Stiles muttered with a sigh flipping over the page in his text book. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t remember being pressured into telling you about Laura?”

“Okay, well maybe not you, but with Derek…I was. I just wanted to know…I should have realised he was like a bomb waiting to go off. It’s like…when someone has something to tell you and when you ask…they turn around and say they can’t now. It’s frustrating, you don’t want to question it but you kind of do when it gets too much. It was like that, I asked him in the beginning and he said he would tell me and I waited, I did, until it got too much.” 

Cora closed her eyes with a sigh before leaning forward to talk to him. “You look like shit.”

“Thanks,” he murmured with a small smile. “Look, he ended it, not me, he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. I’m not going to him, why should I?”

“Because you love each other.”

Stiles stared at the words seeing no sense and sighed leaning back into his chair with a shake of his head. 

“No, I love him, he loves drugs and alcohol and not me, can I get back to my history now?”

Cora looked at him sadly before pushing the chair back and leaving him to it. Stiles attempted to get back into his work but found himself throwing the bed down and scrubbing his hands down his face. In reality he missed him like crazy. His hand often strayed to his cell phone and he hovered over his number wanting to call or sent a text but something would always stop him. Their relationship breakdown was the worst thing to happen all year. 

History was a dead end when he packed away his things and pulled out his iPod choosing to listen to music and play Candy Crush. Stiles was relieved for the end of the day and Lydia was in his last lesson. 

“Tell me you have ice cream,” he pleaded when they walked to their cars. 

“Yes, plus alcohol, follow me,” she said getting into her car and he got into his. 

Stiles was relieved to get there and follow her into the kitchen when they got the supplies and headed to her bedroom. He sat on her bed and held out his hand for the spoon when she opened the lid. 

“Spill,” she said with a small smile. 

“There’s nothing to spill, not really, he ended it.”

“There had to be a reason, Stiles.”

“I was too much for him in bed,” he muttered licking the spoon and laughing for the first time all week when she raised an eyebrow at him. “Okay, maybe not, but I learnt about his past when I shouldn’t have. He told me to wait, I waited, I was too impatient, and went to Cora who told me what happened to Laura. I went to Derek, we argued, and he ended it. It was probably the worst thing to happen to me all year.”

“Wow,” Lydia muttered taking a scoop. “No hope then?”

Stiles looked up at her with a shrug. “Who knows, maybe? Maybe when enough time has passed. I still want him.”

“Do you love him?”

“Yeah,” he murmured reaching for the alcohol and pouted before drinking some of it. “It sucks ass. Oh my god…”

“What?”

“I’ve just got used to having sex on a daily basis! You know…like frequently and in many positions…I’m not having sex for ages!”

“Welcome to the world of single.”

“Says you, you’ve got a guy every weekend!” 

“It’s not as fun as I made it out to be,” she admitted meeting his eyes for a moment before looking away. “But you get to have sex.”

“Well I’m not doing that. I don’t want anyone else…how the hell am I meant to get someone better than him?!”

“Easily,” she murmured with a nod. 

“No, he may have been a dick some of the time but that dick made me fall in love with him. He took me to San Francisco, he took me to a park…and we had sex.”

Stiles saw the light shine in her eyes at that and he dismissed it with a wave of his hand getting more ice cream onto his spoon.

“It was the little things! It was looking after me when I was hungover and looking after me when I was feeling down. It was…everything,” he muttered licking his spoon and sighing. “Okay, maybe you’re right, I am heartbroken.”

“Little is an understatement.” 

“I don’t want to remind myself, can we do something else please?” he pleaded when she rolled her eyes and put on a film. 

“Rom-com’s? Seriously?”

“Yes,” she answered with a nod pressing play. 

Stiles was content to curl up with her and watch a film with her till he needed to go back home. His dad was waiting for him when he got in and he met his small smile with his own. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Dad, please, it’s a relationship breakup, no one’s died,” he said dumping his bag on the ground. “I’m fine.” 

“I was just asking…”

“Yeah, I know, but I get enough of that from Scott. I’ll be in my room.” 

His bed was a welcoming sight when he sat down and stared up at his ceiling with a sigh. He felt hot, his bedroom sticky with heat, and he longed for winter again. Summer was around the corner and May in the full height of spring. Stiles threw open his window when he stared out and glared at the garden below. It was in bloom and because he was miserable he hated it.

“Give me autumn, everything dying, everything orange and brown and yellow, it’s beautiful…because it’s dead!” he hissed slamming the wall with his palm before stepping back to sit in his chair. “Fucking hell, I’m morbid!”

His homework sat in his bag and stared at him till he sighed deeply and gave in. It was distracting for the most part when he worked and perked up when his dad called him down for dinner. The smell of food was the best thing in the world when he sat down and started to devour into the chips and steak. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, really.”

“You don’t look it.”

“Well sorry I’m not dancing around to show tunes and rejoicing over the fact that the guy I love dumped me because I got to know him a little better!” he said with a wave of his hands and hated the sad and disappointed look he got in return. “I’m fine, dad, seriously, I just…as Lydia calls it a little heartbroken at the moment. I’ll deal with it. I’m being good, I’m doing my homework, and I’m looking at colleges.”

He simply nodded in his direction and continued to eat his food whilst Stiles poked at it no longer feeling hungry. Stiles finished dumping half of it in the bin before going to do the dishes. 

“I’m off to work, I’ll see you later,” he said clapping him on the shoulder and squeezing it before he got his jacket and went out. 

Stiles swallowed pulling the plug on the drain before leaning against the counter exhaling harshly. It was another boring night in and with everyone busy it was like the beginning all over again. The lonely kick to his chest made him want to curl up and stay there. It was every teenager’s dream to have the house to himself but in reality he’d rather his dad be there. 

His homework stared at him when he walked into his bedroom and sighed sitting on the bed knocking to the floor. Sties grabbed his laptop instead turning it on and finding Netflix instead to watch the new films and shows out. 

“Snacks, I need snacks,” he muttered after an hour of watching Breaking Bad. 

He snatched his keys from the side and got money out of the jar before heading to the local store. Stiles hummed as he looked at the different sodas before shoving two into his basket and going to find snacks. He paused when he was passing an aisle and saw a familiar build and haircut. It was like good luck, karma, anything good wanted to kick him in the balls and watch him cry in agony.  
Stiles couldn’t help but stare down it and watch him look at packets of cookies with a frown. He couldn’t help but notice that Cora was right, he was wearing sweatpants, had a lot more stubble than usual, and it had only been five days. His eyes were trained on him and he felt shame when Derek seemed to notice eyes were on him and turned towards him with narrowed eyes. It was what got him moving when he hurried down the aisles. 

His heart was in his throat when he practically crashed into the candy and breathed out looking up and down. He felt on edge and jumped when he heard footsteps coming around the aisle. Stiles didn’t even have to turn around to know who it was. 

“You look like shit,” Stiles said turning towards him to see tired eyes looking back at him. 

“Tactful as always.”

“It’s been five days, six days in a few hours, not a lifetime,” he said with a nod. 

“So do you.”

“Not had a lot of sleep,” he said with a casual shrug looking at the chocolate before a chucking a couple in. “You here for your alcohol?”

“No, food, I’ve not been drinking.”

“Oh really?” Stiles muttered raising an eyebrow in his direction. 

“Trying to get on the right side of Cora…she got a taser gun yesterday and threatened me.”

Stiles pressed his lips together trying to hold back his laughter but couldn’t when he nodded his head and laughed at the floor. 

“Sounds like her, well…good for you,” he muttered trying to breathe and struggled when all he wanted to do was drop his basket and kiss him. Stiles inhaled smelling his cologne and wanted to drown it, roll in it, anything to linger it. 

“Well I better…” Derek murmured stepping back from him.

“Sure, me too…” Stiles said with a nod watching him hesitate before putting up a hand in goodbye and leaving. 

It was difficult to breathe and think when he shoved in anything before heading to the cash register to pay for it all. Stiles hurried outside looking at the car across the car park and bit his lip before getting into his own. His eyes closed when he rubbed his chest hard trying to ease the ache there before driving back home. His snacks were exactly what he needed when he dumped them on his bed and stripped down. 

Stiles bit the inside of bottle lip before opening his drawer and getting out one of Derek’s tops that he kept and pulled it on. 

“Just like the films, I’m such a girl,” he muttered putting it over his nose and inhaling deeply. His bed was warm and inviting when he stuffed chocolate into his mouth and pressed play on an episode. “This is my life now, getting fat in this bed watching reruns of Doctor Who and Breaking Bad. Plus talking to myself.”

~*~

Derek walked in to see Cora waiting for him when he got in with takeaway and dumped the stuff on the table.

“You look peeved, what’s happened?”

“I bumped into Stiles.”

“Oh dear, how unfortunate, the world is ending,” she said in mocking tone appearing at his side and giving him a sad smile. “I saw him today in school, made up a bunch of crap about you being awful and horrible when really the moment you dump him you turn a corner!” 

“I did it for you,” he answered with a roll of his eyes. 

“You did it for yourself and because I saw you go for the vodka bottle and brought out my secret weapon.”

“I did it because it brought back memories of…Laura. I don’t want to do something stupid.”

“I admire that, I do, I don’t want you to die. I want you to be healthy, happy, in love, and loved right back…but you won’t let yourself and I don’t think you will for a while.” 

“Will you get the plates out?” he said turning towards her to see her sigh and shake her head.

“Fine, deny it, ignore it, but when Stiles gets a new boyfriend or girlfriend don’t come crawling to me!” she said patting his cheek.

The thought left a pain in his stomach when he stared down at the table and couldn’t even think of that without feeling pain. The idea of someone else putting their hands on him, putting their lips on him, and making him moan in bed was enough to make his stomach turn. Cora handed him a plate which he took ignoring her smug smile when he handed her the food so she could sort it out. 

“I just wish you’d admit you love him.”

“I just wish you’d shut up.” 

“Oh you’re such a grump! Love isn’t a disease, Derek, you fell in love once when you were sixteen and she was crazy!”

“Shut up,” he muttered sitting next to her on the couch. 

“Now someone else loves you and what do you do? Chuck him aside. What’s that sound?” 

“What?” he muttered looking around before looking at her. 

“It’s,” she said with a mock gasp. “You being a complete asshole, the worst kind.” 

Derek rolled her eyes shoving her shoulder hard so she fell to the side and chuckled. 

“I’m serious. Stiles is young, eighteen, gorgeous, funny, he’s sometimes annoying, but’s he witty and sarcastic but the best kind most of the time. People out there are going to snatch that ass up and not care. He won’t care, it’s not like he’s in a relationship.”

“Maybe it’s for the best,” he murmured ignoring his heart screaming at him. 

“Yeah, okay, come back to me in a couple of months when you witness his tongue down another’s throat,” she muttered grabbing the remote control with a chuckle. 

Derek hated her in that moment and made that clear when he shoved her off the sofa so she squeaked and glared at him from the floor. 

“It’s where you belong.”

“Dick!” she said flicking a fry at him before knocking his legs away and sitting back down. 

He looked at her for a moment before looking over at the television and eating his food. His bed that night was lonely when he stretched out a hand to the other side and felt the heat of the spring touch his skin. It was heavy and he hated it. Alcohol and drugs were gone but his cigarettes were a must whether Cora liked it or not when he popped one into his mouth and headed to the window. 

The first drag was heaven when the cool wind blew on him and he had time to think when he stared out. It had been his decision in the end, he ended it, he cast him aside, and it was how it was. So why did it hurt so much to imagine him with someone else? Derek sighed deeply at that question shining in his eyes like a beacon and leaned his head and body out staring down at the street. It was nice, cool, and he smoked the rest feeling calmer before he returned to bed and turned on his side for sleep hoping it was dreamless. 

~*~

_Derek opened his eyes slowly to see the ceiling and felt movement next to him knowing exactly who it was when he rolled towards him._

_“Oh you’re up, make me coffee,” Stiles muttered with a small smile looking over to him._

_“Why? You’re the one who was awake first,” he whispered tugging him closer to him and pressing his lips to his tasting the mint of his toothpaste. “You brushed your teeth?”_

_“Morning breath, it was a killer. I say we make breakfast and stay in bed all day,” he suggested propping up on his elbow. “We can put music on in the background.”_

_“How romantic,” he said with a small smile._

_“Little bit of rock and roll!” he mock whispered and rolled onto his back with a laugh when Derek shoved him down with a roll of his eyes._

_“You’re an idiot.”_

_“I’m your idiot.”_

_“Yeah…you are,” he murmured kissing him again and feeling the warmth of him when he pressed closer before pulling away with a grin._

_“We should eat before our morning work out!”_

_“Morning work out?”_

_“Sex, lots of it,” he teased stealing a kiss before jumping out of bed naked as the day he was born and pulling on his top to cook in._

_The ache that used to be there had all but disappeared when he pressed his face into the pillow with a smile. It was how it was supposed to be. He was back in his arms and this time he wasn’t letting go. Derek jerked when he felt hands on him and looked up to see Stiles staring at him with a forlorn look on his face._

_“What is it?” he said in worry sitting up._

_“You know it’s not your fault right?”_

_“What isn’t?”_

_“You know,” Stiles whispered touching his cheek. “It’s not, it was never your fault, and I want to make you realise it. It’s all I wanted.”_

_“What…” he whispered and closed his eyes leaning into him when he kissed him softly._

_“I love you…always have, always will.”_

_“Stiles?” he whispered opening his eyes and sucking in a shocked breath._

~*~

Derek stared across the floor and couldn’t help but sit up looking around the room looking for him. His heart clenched and he clenched his teeth with a hard swallow swinging his legs over the side and exhaling harshly. It was why he hated his sleep and his dreams. It was a constant reminder.

“Day six,” he whispered before getting up and going to make his coffee for the day and braced himself against the counter. It felt so real and it made his stomach churn in want for it. He turned when he heard Cora come down on the phone and knew she was talking to Isaac. They were open now. Isaac being scared and timid when he came around the loft. It wasn’t like he could turn him away but when she was gone he did what any other big brother would. He threatened his life in vivid detail of how he would hurt him if he hurt her. 

“Yeah, sure, I’ll be over in a bit…you too,” she said with a small smile ending the call and looked happy in love when the call ended. 

Derek rolled his eyes sipping the coffee when she gave him a pointed look. 

“What, jealous?”

“Why would I feel such a thing?”

“I don’t know, you’re a robot,” she said with a small smirk brushing past him to get into the fridge. 

“Whatever,” he mumbled moving away to sit on the sofa. 

“I’m getting a shower and going out,” she said in dismal heading in there. 

Derek dismissed her with a wave of his hand. Cora showered, dressed, and was gone in half an hour leaving him alone with a cold cup of coffee. It was disturbed though when his cell phone rang and he wondered for one moment if it night be him but realised it was Erica. 

“Hey sexy,” she said in greeting. 

“What do you want?”

“Can I not call my best friend?”

“I’m not your best friend,” he said with a soft snort. 

“I think you fucking are, so how are you?”

“Fine,” he said with a sniff looking at the television which was currently off. 

“Liar, still moping about your toy boy being gone?”

“I dumped him remember?”

“Oh whatever, I can practically sense your misery,” Erica said with a soft laugh. “You should get out there again. There’s plenty of fish in the sea!”

“Don’t you think that’s cruel? To find somewhere else after six days?”

“You’re counting? You ended it.”

“I was reminded,” he murmured thinking of Stiles yesterday. He looked the same but more tired, less humourless, and in a way it was good to see him. 

“That’s so sad. Who cares? It’s not like he’ll know.”

“Why am I friends with you again? I thought you wanted me to be happy?”

“I do, it’s because I’m awesome.”

“You’re not and never have been. I can’t sleep with someone else, not yet, it’s too soon,” he muttered rubbing a hand through his hair. “Do you need anything?” 

“No, just wanted to see how you are.”

“I’m fine, always have been, always will be…” he murmured trailing off when his dream reflected on him.

“I love you…always have, always will.”

~*~ 

“We argued,” Scott whined pitifully. 

“Oh how my heart bleeds for you,” Stiles muttered with a roll of his eyes looking at him on the bed will his head under the pillow. “Will you get your sorry ass out of my pillow and do your work?”

“Says you! You’ve been pathetic for weeks!”

“One month and two weeks actually.”

“Since you broke up, we get it,” Scott mumbled and looked down with a pout when Stiles glared at him. 

“You argued with Allison over nothing and you’re crying in my pillow about it.”

“Okay, okay, it’s fine,” Scott said with a shake of his head. “You’re doing better though, this is a bonus. You’re not as bad as you were.”

“I haven’t seen him in weeks that’s why,” he murmured with a sigh.

He hadn’t seen him in weeks since he saw him in the car and he wasn’t alone. Stiles had been at the supermarket getting a few things when he seen him drive past. There was an attractive brunette sitting next to him and it wasn’t a question of what was about to happen. The feeling that was left there was like being punched in the chest realising he was finally moving on. The hope that lingered there at the idea of Derek realising he had made a mistake exploded into dust and he was left realising it was over. 

“We should do something,” Scott said instead sitting cross legged on his bed. “It’s the weekend! Let’s do something fun other than homework.”

“I’m not in the mood,” he murmured slamming his text book closed. “We could play that new game?”

“That’s not fun when I beat you.”

“Fuck off, I beat you!” Stiles said chucking a paper ball at him. “Where would we go?”

“Out, alcohol, anything!”

“The last time we went out we ended up in some park, I was drunk, you weren’t, and it sucked. Plus our fake ID’s failed us.”

“Because we tried a club we’ve never been too! Let’s go Jungle, Danny will hopefully there, and there will be guys for you.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready –” he said slowly.

“Stiles, it’s been a month, you’re young, and…Derek’s moved on. I think it’s time you did too.”

“After a month?”

“Plus two weeks.”

Stiles rolled his eyes when Scott put his hands together in pray prayer. 

“Fuck, fine! We’ll go Jungle, but I’m not hooking up. Derek may have moved on…but I can’t. I’m not ready,” he admitted watching Scott’s mouth twist before he understood and nodded. 

He told the truth and he tried to imagine kissing someone else, going further and having sex, but the thought made his stomach twist. Stiles hated with a passion the fact that Derek had moved on already but what could he do? 

“Let’s get ready and get me seriously drunk,” he said to Scott who grinned standing up to slap his back and agree with him. It was one way to be happy and forget.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for every comment and kudos! 
> 
> I wrote this in like eight hours. If it's not very good, I'm sorry. 
> 
> There is Stiles/Danny in this for people who don't like it, it's only brief, but I have to warn.

Stiles was ready to get drunk and not have a care in the world. Lydia took charge though when he text her about coming out and she came around trailing her eyes up and down his body before going to his bedroom. He never thought he’d see the day of Lydia Martin in his bedroom but for different reasons. Stiles stood like her little model when she rummaged through his clothes scowling in disgust before pulling out a pair of tight blue jeans and a fitting black top. He pulled them on reluctantly and stood in front of his floor length mirror in surprise.

“I look good,” he whispered before turning towards her when she fixed his hair with a little gel. “I don’t want to hook up though! I told Scott before, I’m not ready.”

“This isn’t about hooking up, this is about showing off what you got. You’ve got your looks, a great ass, and it’s about flaunting what he threw away,” she said with a small smile looking him up and down. “Plus I refuse to go out with someone looking a tramp.”

“Hey!” he protested weakly when she stood back and nodded satisfied. “What if someone hits on me?”

“Then you let them! You don’t have to have sex to have fun, a kiss, a look, drinks bought, and numbers exchanged.” 

Stiles licked his lips gingerly and nodded in agreement looking when she held up a bag. 

“I need to get ready, bathroom?”

“Down the hall,” he said with a wave of his hand pulling out his cell to text Scott to ask when he wanted to meet him. 

“Five minutes.”

He sighed deeply looking at himself before allowing it and sitting on the bed waiting for Lydia to get ready. He had never waited for a woman to get ready before and when they say five minutes they mean half an hour for their makeup and an additional hour to get ready. Stiles was bored playing Candy Crush when she was ready wearing a fitted purple dress that made his stomach drop.

“Holy shit,” he whispered when she stood with her arms out. 

“I know,” she said with a smug smile. 

“Are you sure there’s nothing between us?”

“We’d never work, you love another and so do I,” she said applying her lip gloss a second time. Stiles didn’t even have to question who she loved because it was obvious. It was also obvious that Jackson was a complete dumbass but one day he may realise what he’s lost.

“Damn,” he whispered with a mock punch to the ground. “It’s a little early to go isn’t?”

“Just a little but pre-drinks,” she said holding up a small bottle of vodka.

“You’re the devil!” he whispered with a grin taking it off her. 

Lydia hummed in agreement when they swapped the bottle. Stiles was beginning to feel a buzz under his skin and a little sick from having it straight. Scott soon text him asking him to pick him up. 

“Where’s your dad?”

“Shift, I said I was staying at Scott’s tonight anyway…should I be driving?” he muttered looking at her. 

“If we die, we die tipsy.”

Stiles shrugged climbing into the car and pushing the key into the ignition when he went to pick up Scott. He swapped with him leaving Scott to drive when he scolded him for driving and they drove to the club. Stiles played with his fake ID against his hand and wondered what the night would bring. There was a slight fear there and he couldn’t help but think of Derek and wondering what he was doing tonight. The line was semi full when they arrived and Stiles fidgeted nervously. He could hear Lydia behind him poking at Scott for what he was wearing and his dim protests. 

“I spoke to Allison,” Scott said tugging at his wrist. 

“What did she say?”

“She called me a fuck and hung up the phone.”

“Oh,” Stiles murmured biting his lip. “It’ll be okay.” 

“I guess,” he muttered miserably. 

“Let’s get drunk,” he said wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “It’ll make us happy until tomorrow.”

The line soon started moving and their fake ID’s worked when the bouncers waved them in. It was already thriving with people when he walked in looking around. 

“Come on,” Lydia encouraged taking his hand and pulling him with her when they headed to the bar. “I’ll get you your first drinks.”

Stiles hummed leaning against the bar and cast an eye around. It shouldn’t be logical that he had been barely there ten minutes and he was getting eyes from guys from across the bar. There was a heat in his stomach when he looked down at the sticky top before taking the glass off the bartender. The drink was cool when he took a gulp and jumped out of his skin turning around when someone appeared around them.

“Stiles, wow, you look good,” Danny said appearing out of nowhere when his eyes tracked down him. 

“Danny, you scared shit out of me,” he said flushing when he met his eyes. 

“You did something,” Lydia commented raising an eyebrow in his direction when he touched his cheeks with the back of his hand. 

“I spotted you two…and Scott,” he said nodding at Scott currently being chatted up and looking terrified. 

Lydia was amused when she walked away to act as the fake girlfriend leaving Stiles with Danny. 

“You here to score?”

“Not really, just a night out, this is not my work,” he said gesturing at himself.

“It’s good work, really good, you should wear it often,” Danny said with a small grin leaning on the bar next to him. “I heard a rumour, it’s a little one, not really talked about, but you’re dating Derek Hale.”

Stiles swallowed nervously and shook his head. “I was but not anymore.”

“Seriously?” he whispered in slight awe. “Wow, I never imagined that.”

“Why because I’m not his type?”

“No! No, no, I just…I never imagined it, but now I think about it,” Danny said with a cock of his neck and a small smile looking at him. “So what happened? Why did it end?”

Stiles sighed softly leaning next to him and shrugged his shoulders when he stared into his drink. “He dumped me, I got too close, pushed a little too hard, and it ended.”

Danny stared at the side of his face with a sad expression before touching his bicep and squeezing gently before leaning in and brushing his lips against his ear to whisper.

“His loss.”

He jumped when the bartender came over and pushed another beer over. “It’s from the man over there.”

Stiles stared across the bar to see a guy in his early twenties, good looking, and wearing no shirt raise his own and wink. He blushed glancing at Danny who laughed softly shaking his head. 

“You’re a hit, there’s guy all around looking at you, you’re young, you have a good body,” Danny complimented. 

“Is this coming from Danny Mahealani?” Stiles mock whispered taking a big gulp of his drink. “I’m flattered.” 

He was beginning to feel good when suddenly Scott and Lydia appeared next to him tugging his arm to get his attention.

“He’s here,” Scott said meeting his eyes. 

“Who?”

Lydia rolled her eyes before pulling him into the right direction when he seen him in the corner with Isaac Lahey. 

“Fuck!” he hissed staring at him in horror before looking at Lydia. “I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you fucking can, you’re going to stay in the same club as Derek fucking Hale and you’re going to make him realise what he’s missing,” she hissed gripping his hand tight. “Scott, am I right?”

Scott opened his mouth and closed it wordlessly before nodding. Lydia was satisfied when she met his eyes and nodded before ordering a round of shots. Stiles eyes strayed over to Derek currently near the back wall deep in conversation with Isaac and sighed deeply closing his eyes. He turned back to Danny who was looking at him in open concern. 

“I come to a club and my ex is here….what are the odds for that?”

“Not good, but it’s a small town, it happens.”

“It happens to me,” Stiles admitted with a roll of his eyes. 

“It happens to all of us, see that guy over there, the blond one currently kissing the black guy?” he said leaning in close and pointing at the dance floor. 

“Yeah?”

“My ex, I really liked him but…he was dating more than just me.”

“How many?”

“Three guys including me,” Danny admitted with a roll of his eyes turning back towards the bar whilst Stiles snorted into his hand. 

“Wow, I’m sorry, that’s shit.”

“I’m rid of him, it’s good!”

Stiles hummed in agreement and took a shot when Lydia handed the four of them out and they knocked it back. He coughed and laughed thumping his chest whilst Scott gagged slipping in next to him. 

“I’ll feel this tomorrow,” Lydia murmured with a sniff brushing her hair away from her face. 

“I think we all will,” Scott said coughing and glaring at Lydia who shoved him hard. 

Stiles hummed glancing around but keeping an eye on the back wall where Derek was and wondering if he noticed he was here yet. It didn’t seem like it and he didn’t notice the guy who appeared out of nowhere till he was in his personal space. 

“Whoa, shit,” Stiles said stepping back smelling sweat and alcohol when he looked up into his eyes. 

“I’ve not seen you around, I’m Paul.”

“Stiles, I’m here once in a blue moon,” he said with an awkward shrug.

“Funny and gorgeous, I like it, you dance?”

“Nope,” Stiles said with a nervous chuckle and let him take his hand when he pulled him forward. 

“I’ll teach you,” Paul murmured pulling him forward. 

Stiles looked behind him to see Lydia amused, Scott bemused, and Danny with a sort of blank expression but his eyes narrowed when Paul tugged him away. He was pulled into the writing bodies dancing on the dance floor and felt his stomach clench in his nervousness. He needed to be drunker for this and fell against him when Paul tugged him closer.

“Relax, you’re too tense,” he murmured into his ear. 

“I’m not much of a dancer,” he murmured in reply looking into pale blue eyes. “I just watch and drink and try to stay to the shadows.”

“You shouldn’t,” he muttered with a smirk before turning him around suddenly so his back collided with his chest. Stiles was breathless and closed his eyes for a moment listening to the beat of the music and feeling sweat cling to his skin feeling the hot warmth of him. 

“Loosen up, move your hips with mine,” he said gripping his hips in his hands and moving him with him. 

Stiles swallowed nodding and exhaled shakily when he felt lips warm and wet against his neck and hands slide over his ass. 

“Forward aren’t we?”

“I liked what I seen the moment you walked in.”

“Sure,” Stiles muttered and felt eyes on him when he pressed back and looked for the source. 

It should have been satisfying really when he saw Derek leaning against the railing and staring right at him. His eyes narrowed and his jaw tense from most probably clenching his teeth together in whatever emotion he was feeling. Stiles couldn’t hold back the smirk before he turned in Paul’s arms and met his eyes. 

“I’m a hot, I need a drink,” he whispered pressing his hands to his chest with a small smile. “Excuse me.”

Stiles pulled away from his wandering hands when he worked himself through the crowd back to the others. Danny perked when he saw him reaching out to get him. 

“You should be wary of him,” he muttered.

“Who, Paul?”

“He’s the male version of a womaniser.”

“I gathered by wandering hands,” Stiles murmured with a soft snort when two cocktails were pushed their way.

“I don’t know if this good new or bad news but Derek has finally noticed you’re here and he won’t stop staring at you.”

“I know.”

“It’s a good thing,” Lydia injected tugging Scott with her when they stood with them.

“Guys keep chatting me up! Do I look gay?” Scott hissed at him. 

“Yes, Scotty, you look gay,” he said amused when he looked around with wide eyes. “You have to save me if he comes for me again. He’s nice but I’m not looking for a fuck.”

“Stick with me,” Danny said with a small smile sipping from his cocktail. 

“My guardian angel,” he joked gulping his own down and wincing and hiccupped. “I need the toilet.”

“I’ll come with you, Paul favours toilets,” he said nodding towards the dance floor and he turned to see him in a group looking in their direction. 

The problem was to get to them he would have to pass Derek who was currently not looking at him when he talked with Isaac. Stiles had butterflies in his stomach when he moved to past keeping his eyes on the floor when he did with Danny close behind him. He inhaled softly when he passed smelling his cologne and pressing down a whimper when he burst into the toilets. 

“You okay?” Danny said when they found a urinal each. 

“Yeah,” he said with a fake smile and a nod. 

“I know it’s hard seeing an ex, it sucks, but it’ll get easier soon enough. You’ll move on.”

“Who says I’ve not moved on?” he demanded shaking and zipping himself up. 

“The way you look at him, your body language, I know the signs…trust me,” he said with a grin when they washed their hands and exited. Stiles couldn’t back his own smile when he shook his head following after him and feeling Derek’s eyes on him when he passed. 

Lydia was waiting for him when he got there and grabbed his wrist tugging him closer. 

“Danny?”

“Friendly conversation,” he murmured with a roll of his eyes.

“He could be good for you.”

Stiles met her eyes and shrugged ordering another drink. He felt tipsy, his body warm and sweat covering his back and forehead when the bartender winked at him handing over his drink. He wasn’t a fool when he saw people checking him out and had to thank Lydia for that. The back of his mind and his heart was on a different wavelength though for the person silent and watchful. Derek’s eyes were like hot heat on his back when he stared down at the bar top. 

“Come dance with me,” he said to Danny who blinked in surprise. 

“I thought you didn’t dance?”

“I can move my hips.”

Danny chuckled amused before following after him when he moved away onto the dance floor. Stiles felt a lot better out here with alcohol running through his veins when he attempted to dance and glared playfully when Danny laughed. He hooked him in by the waist and helped him out. 

“It’s dancing, not a sport, you’re good, loosen up though,” he instructed. 

“I had Paul all over me before…oh he moved on quick,” he said looking around to see him wrapped up in a different guy. 

“You’re with me that’s why.”

“You’ve never paid any attention to me in school,” he said narrowing his eyes at him. “I tried to catch your attention sometimes.”

“Exactly, I never paid attention.”

Stiles opened his mouth confused when suddenly his mouth was covered. It was a shock to his system when Danny kissed him before pulling back quick biting his lip in apology.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

He was breathless when he swallowed staring at him for a long moment trying to wrap his head around it. Stiles looked around to see Lydia and Scott at the bar doing tequila shots it seemed before his eyes went over to Derek staring at them. His eyes wide with an emotion he couldn’t decipher amongst everything, there was a paleness to his skin, and he knew Derek was stunned. 

“Yeah, you should have,” he whispered before hooking him back in and kissing him hard. Danny made a soft sound cupping the back of his hair as their lips moved against each other and he lost himself in the odd but welcoming movement. Danny’s mouth was hot and wet against his as pressed closer wrapping his arms around his neck. 

Stiles parted from him when they heaved for breath and Danny looked stunned and glassy eyed when he stared at him with a small chuckle. 

“Wow,” he muttered. “That was…wow.”

Stiles laughed nervously when he looked around to see Lydia and Scott staring at them. Lydia was shocked but pleased whilst Scott looked confused. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Derek to see his expression and was again distracted when Danny pulled him back in. His hands sliding up his top to press against his skin when he kissed him again and he let himself have this. 

~*~

Derek had not wanted to come here in the first place. It was Cora’s insistence that whilst she suffered in her words through “women’s problems” they go out. 

“I thought you didn’t want me drinking?”

“You can drink, Derek, just not excessively like you were!” she replied with a roll of her eyes. 

It’s how he ended up in Jungle with Isaac talking about his job and apologising for dating his sister. It was tedious and he had already rejected two guys who bought him drinks. Derek had already established that he was not ready to start moving on when he brought back a young woman from another night out previous. He hadn’t drank at all and when he brought her back it had been too much, not enough, and lack of what he really wanted. He sent her on her way despite how much she wanted it. It resulted in a slap and he was left feeling confused and helpless under it.  
“Hey, isn’t that the Stilinski kid?” Isaac said when he sipped his drink feeling bored and about to call it a night when he seen him. It was enough to make him still and stare at him in shock after seeing him for the first time in weeks. Stiles looked better, clothes fitting him, and he felt that kick of longing in his chest letting his eyes roam over him. 

“We can leave if you want?”

“No, why should we?” he said feeling a change of heart when he leaned against the railing watching a guy run his hands all over him, his lips against his jaw, and the jealously and longing was like a kick to his chest. The urge to go over there and rip him away soared through him but what right did he have? 

“Well maybe because that guy has his hands all over your ex,” Isaac pointed out raising an eyebrow at him. 

“Not anymore,” he murmured watching Stiles talk to him before pulling himself away and return to his friends. He recognised Scott but the other two were unfamiliar to him when he watched the attractive brunet grab for Stiles and whisper in his ear. Their movement familiar against each other. 

He couldn’t take his eyes off them when they talked and interacted with each other all. There was an ache in his chest when he realised Stiles was coming towards him with the stranger and he quickly looked at Isaac who stared back with a raised eyebrow. 

“I’m not your distraction, don’t look at me,” he said with a soft snort. 

Derek looked at him anyway when he passed hurrying into the toilets. It took everything he had not to reach out and grab and question him about why he was here, who was that, why did he let that guy put his hands all over him. Isaac shot him a knowing look when he glanced to him again before taking a big gulp of his drink. 

“Why did you end it again when you’re looking at him like that?”

Derek glared at him and kept his mouth shut not answering him. He was on edge waiting for him to come out, his mind going to various places wondering if they were fucking in there. It was almost like relief when the toilet door opened again and the stranger walked out first with Stiles grinning behind him. He watched him walk past back to the others and felt a strange sense of loss. 

In the past few weeks he had missed him, there was a loss there when he filled that spot in his life, he missed his smile, his laughter, his calming words, his sense of humour, and to put the cherry on top of his shit cake he missed sex. It wasn’t sex in general it was sex with him.  
His mind was away with him that he nearly missed Stiles enter the dance floor with the stranger. 

Derek moved closer to get a better look at what was happening when he watched Stiles awkwardly try to dance and smiled into his bottle. He was awkward in everything. 

“What was it you liked in him again?” Isaac said with a smirk. 

“Shut…up…before I make you.”

“Touchy, I think I know him by the way, his name is Danny Mahealani…he dated my friend from college for a while.”

“Why would I want to know that?” he muttered watching Danny put his hands on Stiles’ hips moving him fluidly. Stiles moved in way that made him ache and he inhaled deeply scanning the eyes over the crowd before looking back at them and feeling his heart squeeze. It was something to watch them dance but to see them kiss was a whole different story. The knife like feeling of being stabbed in the gut hit him hard when Danny quickly moved away saying a word to Stiles. 

“Oh…okay,” Isaac murmured leaning back and looking at him. 

Derek couldn’t tear his eyes away when he watched Stiles glance at his friends before looking over at him and meeting his eyes for the first time. There was an emotion in there that Derek couldn’t work out before he turned his head away to respond and pull him in. It was intimate, fiery, and enough for his breath to escape him when he stared down at the floor. 

“We’ve never been introduced, Lydia Martin,” a voice said causing him to look up to see her smiling at him. “You’re Derek Hale, no need for introductions.”

“What do you want?”

“Straight to the point, I like it,” she said with a coy smile and turned her body facing the dance floor he was desperately trying to avoid to still see them kissing. “You see that right there, I never thought it would happen. He was adamant on not moving on, not wanting to sleep with someone, and I support that. I told him he could have his fun though,”

“What. Do. You. Want?” he demanded facing her. 

“Do you see what you lost? What you threw away?” Lydia said nodding in their direction. “I’m here for one thing…you don’t deserve him. He’s loyal, he loves you, still, and I can’t fault him that but you, you do not deserve him. Not till you proved yourself anyway but for now I hope he kisses every single guy in here to make you realise…”

Derek heard enough as he brushed past her and headed towards the exit. 

“…what you lost!” she shouted after him. 

He pushed past people when he walked out and exhaled harshly before getting out a cigarette. Derek walked down till he was away from the crowd outside and lit it taking a deep inhale of it. Her words screamed in his mind along with the image of Stiles wrapped around Danny as they kissed in the centre. It was enough to make his heart burn and for him to stare up at the night sky. 

“What did she say to you?”

Derek jerked when he heard his voice and turned towards him to see his hair a mess, his lips a strawberry pink, and his chest heaving for breath. He was waiting expectedly staring at him. 

“Nothing,” he muttered softly.

“Liar, you ran out of there.”

“Do you blame me?”

“Do I blame you? Do you blame me for moving on like you have!?” he demanded stepping towards him. 

“What?”

“I saw you, weeks back, some brunette in your car…I know we ended but you couldn’t wait a few more weeks?” Stiles said with a scoff. 

Derek blinked realising who he meant and shook his head. “I went out that night to see if I could, Stiles, to see if I could sleep with someone else. I brought her back, she kissed me, it felt wrong, and I sent her home. What could have been a quick fuck ended in a slap and an insult.”

Stiles blinked staring at him confused before swallowing hard and looking down the street. 

“I’m supposed to believe that?” 

“Believe what you want. I didn’t sleep with her.” 

Derek took a drag looking away from him and Stiles exhaled harshly moving towards him and forcing him to meet his eyes. 

“You looked at me in there like I betrayed you, like I hurt you deeply,” he said staring into his eyes. 

Derek gritted his teeth unable to answer him when Stiles laughed shakily looking away. 

“You ended it! It’s been a month and a little bit more, Derek, and I’m only doing what I thought you’d want.”

“So what you’re trying to say is that you can be upset if I moved on but I can’t be upset that you moved on?” 

“You ended it!” Stiles shouted at him. 

“Because you didn’t wait for me to tell you!”

“What kind of reason is that? I’m sorry I pushed, I am, but all I wanted was to get to know you better. It’s all I wanted!” Stiles shouted back at him shoving at him so he stepped back. “I can’t even kiss a guy in there without feeling like complete shit!”

“How is it my fault?” he hissed stepping into his personal space. 

“Because you stared at me the whole time, I kissed him and you stared at me like I stabbed you or something! How even after all this all I want to do is slam you into the fucking wall and kiss you because it’s _you _who I really want to kiss. How I still love you but I fucking _hate you_. I am so fucking angry with you because you’ve treated me like shit and I can’t even kiss a guy I like in there without feeling guilty.” __

Derek couldn’t hold back when he grabbed his top yanking him towards him and kissing him bruisingly hard. Stiles made a small desperate sound clinging to him when he did and kissed away the remains of Danny that lingered there. It was intoxicating and everything he had denied himself for weeks when he pushed him against the wall. It ended too soon when Stiles pulled himself away shaking his head and pushing him away.

“No, you think you can do that and win me back?”

“Who knows?”

“You don’t care about anything else apart from yourself. Are you still taking drugs? Are you still drinking? Does the whole world resolve around you? Can you breathe now that someone annoying and persistent as me isn’t around anymore?” he said with a hard swallow. 

“I stopped, I did it for me and I did it for Cora.”

“You need real help, maybe therapy,” Stiles suggested. “I learnt the truth and the first thing you did was shove me aside like I meant nothing, Derek! I love you, you don’t love me.”

“You think you know I feel?!” 

“I don’t need to know, you prove it with words and actions.” 

“I did what I thought was right!”

“Dumping me!?” Stiles hissed staring at him in disbelief. “That was the right thing?”

“I did what my instinct told me.” 

“Well your instinct was wrong, you dump me in the worst way possible, you ignore me for weeks, you blame me for wanting to kiss another guy and try to move on, and you expect me to come back when you kiss me? Why would I want that?”

“You said you loved me,” Derek argued and wanted to kick himself for the weak argument when Stiles looked at him sadly. 

“Yeah, I went and fell in love with you, Derek, but you did what you thought was best and pushed me away. I’m sorry for pushing you to tell me about Kate and Laura but that’s what couples do, they help each other, they hold their hand and guide them through it,” Stiles argued with a crack in his voice pushing into his personal space. “You want me, really want me? Fight for it.” 

Derek had no chance to respond when Stiles walked away heading back into the club. His cigarette was burnt out when he leaned against the wall for a long moment before kicking off it and walking home to think. 

~*~

Cora cursed womanhood when she pressed a hot water bottle to her lower abdomen and watched her favourite soap. It was coming on midnight when the alarm went off and the door opened revealing Derek looking a little worse for wear. 

“Are you okay?” she said sitting up when he walked in tossing his jacket on the floor and walked over sitting next to her. “You reek of alcohol.”

“I’m not drunk.”

“I can tell,” she said looking at him up and down. “What’s happened?”

“I saw Stiles in Jungle, he kissed another guy, we argued outside, I kissed him, and he told me to fight for him.”

“Oh,” Cora murmured blinking for a short moment before rubbing her lips together contemplating. “He has a point. So is the part in this stupid saga when you realise you’re an absolute idiot for letting him go?”

“Oh shut up, why are you my sister?”

“Genetics.” 

“I may…may have made a mistake.”

“What was it like?” she said softly after a long minute of silence. “What was it like watching him kiss another guy?”

“It was like being knifed in the stomach…happy?”

“So it hurt, it emotionally hurt you to see him kiss someone else?”

“Yes!” he cried with a sigh looking up at the ceiling. 

“Didn’t I say this would happen?”

“Do you want a medal?” he snapped looking at her with narrowed eyes. 

“Yes plus chocolate and flowers and I give you a massive fucking told you so!” she said slapping his chest. “I said this would happen, who ignored me?” 

“Whatever.”

“You broke his trust, Derek, and his heart. You think kissing him will win him back?”

“No.”

“So why are you acting like he’s told you to swim across the Atlantic to win his heart back?” she demanded watching him roll his eyes at her before continuing to look at the ceiling. 

“So do it, fight for him, do whatever you can to win him back,” she said and paused before grabbing her cell phone. “I was going to use this for blackmail one day but it looks like it has a purpose.”

Derek stared at her with confused eyes when she went through her photos till she found it and handed it over to him. 

“Do you remember that time you fell asleep on the couch? I took this…you’re kind of cute together…this was only in the beginning as well.”

She watched as he took it away from her to stare at the photo and there was a sadness there in his eyes she hated seeing. 

“You pushed him away, you get him back,” she said squeezing his arm and moving to get more Advil from the cupboard for period pain. 

It was the best advice she could give him, what he did next was entirely up to him.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *frowns at chapter* This left me annoyed. 
> 
> Thank you for all comments and kudos guys! I love reading them. :)

Stiles was lying on his bed staring up at the ceiling as he and Scott topped and tailed. Scott inhaled deeply before sitting up pouting. 

“It’s actually over, like I’m single, like…you!” he said slapping him gently on the stomach so he groaned looking at him to see a sadness shining in Scott’s eyes.

“No hope?”

“I don’t think so, we kept arguing, Stiles, her dad hates me, her mom isn’t that fond of me, and that made Allison upset because she couldn’t stand that her parents didn’t like me. Our exams are coming up, studying is coming up, and…it was too stressful for both of us.” 

“Well…welcome to the single world! It sucks but there’s masturbation,” he said attempting to be reassuring and smirked when Scott scoffed in disgust shoving him away. 

“You won’t be single for long though, isn’t Derek going to try and win you back?”

“No idea! I haven’t seen him since Jungle that night. I’ve seen Cora but I get a simple look and then she walks straight by. It’s actually insulting,” he muttered fiddling with his phone. “I think it was a fit of jealously. I mean he saw me kiss another guy.”

“He ended it though?”

“I know,” Stiles agreed. “I don’t know though…that kiss though.”

Scott looked at him with a ‘please stop’ look and he grinned into his knee. Kissing your ex-boyfriend was bound to have consequences and they had brought out the worst in him. Feelings he had pushed down had rose to the surface and all he wanted to do was go to the loft and demand more from him. He didn’t know how to really feel though. It was up to Derek now. 

“Still…I love her.”

“I know you do, you’ll get her back, just…let things cool down first, wait it out, and maybe things can start again?” he said touching Scott’s arm gently so he nodded slowly in reply. 

“I need to head back, my mom’s expecting me,” he said standing up looking a little lost. 

“Okay, well I’m here if you need me.”

Scott nodded before heading off and leaving Stiles to his thoughts when he looked around his bedroom and fidgeted with his phone. He couldn’t count the amount of times he looked for a message or to see if he missed a call. His thumb often hovered over his number but he always backed out. He wasn’t meant to be the one crawling back so to speak. The anger and hurt was still there, the way he was treated, the way it ended, and the weeks that still continued to pass when they are broken up. He didn’t realise how much he missed him, missed the closeness of someone, and even sex till a relationship breakdown. 

It had been five days and no sign of him at all. It was enough to make that small hope in his heart flicker in and out wondering if he even would. His phone vibrated knocking him out of thought and he excitedly opened it to see a new message from Danny. 

_“I’m bored. Fancy meeting up?” – Danny. 7:15pm._

Stiles wouldn’t deny he was surprised and had a moment of doubt but he was bored and had nothing to do.

_“Sure, sounds good, where?”_

_“Do you think it’s too late for coffee?” – Danny. 7:22pm._

_“No, meet you in the local?”_

_“Sure :) see you there.” – Danny. 7:28pm._

Stiles hummed as he did a quick change, ran his fingers through his hair, and headed downstairs to see his dad laid out on the couch. 

“Danny’s invited me out, I’ll be back before curfew.”

“Sure, don’t get up to anything I can arrest you for,” he warned watching the television when he spoke to him. 

“Damn! Well there goes the drug spree!” he cried sarcastically as he walked out patting his pockets for his car keys before getting inside. 

He drove to their local coffee shop feeling good about getting out of the house and parked outside to see Danny already inside on his phone. Stiles did a quick glance around before pushing open to get the warm aroma of coffee hit him. It made something deep within him curl up in contentment. Danny smiled at him warmly when he sat opposite him. 

“It’s a good job this place is always open.”

“Yeah, how are you?”

“You saw me in school before,” Stiles said with a soft snort.

“Well I saw you comforting Scott…I heard about him and Allison.”

“It was going to happen, they just kept arguing constantly. He’s a little blue.”

“Who isn’t after a breakup?” 

Stiles hummed in agreement leaning back. “Coffee in the summer, are we insane?”

“No, they’re on me,” he said slapping the table gently giving him another warm smile when he walked to the counter to order them some coffees. He relaxed sitting back and looked out of the window to see the sun starting to set. Danny soon returned with two coffees and packets of sugar when they stirred them in. 

“So we kiss in a club five days ago and suddenly you want to get to know me?” he said watching Danny pause and his cheeks flush looking at him.

“I never paid attention.”

“You never did.” 

“I am now, you’re a good kisser, but not just that…I noticed more that night” he said softly.

Stiles felt his cheeks flush with heat when he stared down at the foam on his coffee instead of him. 

“I had a good teacher.”

“That teacher being…Derek Hale,” Danny said with a nod. “You still love him?”

“Yeah, stupidly enough, I can’t help it. I fell for him harder than I should have. I love him, I hate him as well, he can be an asshole, a dick, a jerk, but that’s one fifth of him. He’s…different than everyone thinks. He’s not…bad, he’s actually…amazing.”

“I get it,” Danny said with a low chuckle. “I’m not about to invade into something that I can’t win. He doesn’t know what he’s given up though, I bet you’ve heard this though over and over again.”

“Oh yeah, Scott, my dad, Lydia, but…I have a hope, it’s small, probably stupid and naïve but I cling to it.”

“That’s a good thing.”

“Is it though?” Stiles muttered circling his finger around the rim. “What if it’s a false hope? The worst kind of hope.”

“Is there any sign that…you know you could start again?”

Stiles met his eyes and shrugged lifting the cup and taking a sip before answering him. 

“I do and I don’t. He kissed me that night…you know after Jungle…and I told him if he wanted me, really wanted me, then he’d fight for it. That was five days ago, I haven’t seen him since.”

Danny opened his mouth to answer before giving up and grimacing. Stiles sighed at that lifting the cup back up to his lips before sitting back and looking outside. People passed by, cars drove past, and he felt his chest ache in an odd way. In a way he wished that he didn’t love and want Derek back. Danny could probably be good for him but he couldn’t do it. He’d only end up breaking his heart in the end. 

The subject of relationships and Derek was brushed aside when they began to talk more about themselves, school, and anything they could think of when they finished their coffees. It was half eight when they decided to head out and head home. The sun was setting and leaving the sky a beautiful blue, orange, and pink when he looked around. 

“This was fun, we should do it again,” Danny said with his hands in his pocket.

Stiles opened his mouth to respond when he heard his voice.

“Stiles.”

Fate was laughing at him when he turned to see Derek carrying a grocery bag and staring at him before looking at Danny behind him. His eyes narrowed only slightly and there was a coldness there that made his stomach clench. 

“I – I, um, I better go, Stiles, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Danny said touching his back gently before leaving. 

Stiles nodded absently staring at Derek stunned. “What are you doing here?”

“Muffins, Cora demanded them from here, they’re the best apparently.”

“Right,” he whispered squeezing his hands together. “If I said this is not what it looks like…would you believe me?”

“No,” Derek answered simply walking by and walking in to the shop. 

“Because it’s not what it looks like, he asked me out for coffee,” he said following him. “Wait, why am I explaining this to you? You’re the one who’s been absent for five days! It’s a trait of yours I think.”

“Absent?”

“Yes, since Jungle, I told you if you really wanted me back then you’d fight for it…but I guess it was a fit of jealously,” Stiles snapped at him. 

Derek stared at him for a moment before turning to the cashier and Stiles took that as his cue to leave when he walked out and headed to his car. 

“Are you dating him?” Derek called to him when he got the car door open and went to get inside. 

“Why would you care?”

“You know why,” Derek snapped at him looking down the street. “Are you going to answer my question?”

There were two answers he could give here, the truth or a lie, and his anger won. 

“Maybe we are, maybe after Jungle we hit it off, we kissed more, I went back to his, and I let him touch me, undress me, and we fucked whilst I could still taste you on my tongue,” he said slamming the door closed and found himself slammed against it when Derek invaded his personal space. 

“You’re a fucking liar!” he hissed into his face.

“What if I’m not? What if I let him touch me, kiss me, I whispered his name in his ear, I screamed for him when he fucked me into the mattress…” he whispered feeling cruel and breathed out shakily when his fist thumped against the window next to his head. 

Derek was furious with him, there was no doubt about that when he stared at him with cold angry eyes, and breathed out through his teeth. 

“How does that make you feel?” he pressed watching Derek pull away from him swallowing hard and obviously fighting an inner war inside of him. “Does it make you angry, jealous, feel every ugly feeling out there?”

“You call me an asshole,” he spat glaring at him. 

“We’re just as bad as each other then.”

Derek was quiet when he stared down at the pavement, his grocery bag dropped on the floor and left there when silence filled the gap between them. 

“Did you…” he said trailing off. 

“Did I what?”

“Did you fuck Danny?” Derek said through clenched teeth.

“No, Derek, it’s a lie! I can barely kiss him, you know that, you were there! I can’t even think of fucking someone else,” he said with a deep sigh leaning back into his car. “I could though…if I really wanted to. There’s nothing stopping me.” 

“You’re like a child having a tantrum, Stiles, not having your own way so you throw your toys out of your pram,” Derek said with a shake of his head looking at him. 

He tried not to feel offended but couldn’t help it when he looked at him to see Derek’s eyes still cold and furious, his whole posture tense and angry, and Stiles scoffed shaking his head. 

“Whatever, Derek, I asked you five days if you wanted this again you’d prove it but you haven’t so maybe I should be the one to do us both a favour and move on. Maybe not with Danny…but it’s not like you’re the only fish in the pond,” Stiles argued watching him look at him in defiance. “I’ll see you around.”

Stiles opened the car door only for Derek to intervene when he was dragged away from it and the car door yet again slammed behind him. 

“Why are you so difficult?!”

“Can you blame me?! Mixed signals are not a given, Derek!” Stiles shouted at him attracting attention around them but he ignored it to glare at him.

“I’m not good at this! I don’t – I don’t know how to do this, Stiles, I made a mistake, I made a mistake ending us, but you told me to fight for it but I don’t know how.” 

That was enough to stun Stiles into silence when he stared at him. Derek looked uncomfortable when he couldn’t meet his eyes properly and chose to look around them instead. It was enough to make sense and enough to make Stiles feel like an asshole when his anger deflated like a balloon inside of him. 

“You don’t believe you deserve to be loved,” he said softly looking at him. “Unhappy, unloved, and alone.” 

“I don’t want that.”

“Then what do you want?” Stiles said raising his eyebrows at him. “I mean it about mixed signals, Derek, one minute we’re in a relationship, the next I’m dumped for learning about Kate and Laura, we’ve been over for near enough two months now, I kiss someone else, you get jealous and you kiss me. I ask you to prove you want me back and you say you can’t because you don’t know how. What do you want?”

“I don’t know,” Derek whispered with a small shake of his head. 

“Then we’re at a crossroads,” Stiles said meeting his eyes. “Do you really think I’m going to come running back to you like nothing happened? You broke my heart, Derek. There are too many love stories out there when the person hurts the other and two chapters they’re back together like nothing happened. ‘Oh I forgive you sweetheart, I know you didn’t mean it’ and all that bullshit. I love you but I don’t think you love me. I think you fell in lust. You know the sex, the kissing, the going to San Francisco and having sex in a pool. But I don’t think you love me like I love you…and I don’t think you trust me either.” 

“You have no idea what I feel,” Derek argued.

“What do you feel then?” 

He waited but got no answer when Derek opened his mouth and nothing came out. Stiles smiled sadly looking at the darkening sky to get his bearings when fingers touched his chin and his lips pressed against his. Stiles couldn’t hold back the small whimper when he kissed him back moving his lips against his. The cool wind blew over him rising goosebumps on his skin when he cupped the sides of his neck. There was no rushing this when Derek backed him up moving him into the alleyway and out of view from others to kiss him agonisingly soft and gentle. 

They parted when they gasped for breath and Stiles pressed his forehead against his closing his eyes and breathing him in. 

“That’s how I feel.”

“Words, Derek, I need words,” he whispered. 

“Actions speak louder.” 

“Not always.”

Derek sighed closing his eyes and cupping the back of his head and neck with gentle fingers. Stiles smiled to himself sadly pressing his hands against his chest and forcing him to meet his eyes. 

“Maybe I’m not right for you at the moment, Derek, you have a lot of crap going on. You drink, you take drugs, and you can’t forgive yourself for your family’s death and your sister’s death. You don’t even have a job! How long do you think that money will last? Not that’s affecting us, it’s just reason.” 

“I’ve stopped drinking and taking drugs.”

“How long do you think you’ll last?” Stiles questioned in disbelief.

“I’ve stopped.” 

“I don’t think I’m good for you right now…” he said trailing off and shaking his head at Derek who looked at him conflicted. “I better go. You have muffins to give to Cora and I’ve got a curfew.” 

Stiles went to move when a warm hand circled his wrist and Derek kissed him again. It was harder, desperate, and Stiles in his moment of pure weakness clung to him for a long moment before pulling away. He walked away because he had to when he opened the car door not looking back. His mind and feelings were all over the place when he gripped the steering wheel tight and attempted not to cry. 

~*~

Derek opened the newspaper as he looked at the vacancies scanning through them thoughtfully. 

“Hey, what you doing?” Cora said when she came down the stairs playing on her phone. 

“Looking for jobs,” he answered picking up a pen when he circled the ones that looked possible from bartenders to customer service. He couldn’t really see himself on the phones though. People were too annoying.

“Why?” she said with a raised eyebrow. 

“Because I’m trying to sort my life out,” he admitted honestly. 

“Well you should always try therapy as well or maybe one of those groups for addicts.”

“I don’t need to talk to some stranger about my feelings.”

“Yeah, you lock them up till your mind is corrupted and what do you do for release? You take drugs and drink alcohol to forget,” Cora said sitting down next to him. “If you’re doing this for yourself and for Stiles then sort yourself out properly.”

Derek looked up meeting her eyes to see a kindness there reflected back on to him. Cora sighed as she dropped her phone on the table and leaned forward. 

“You’ve been miserable for days, I thought you were going to fight for him?”

“I don’t know how.”

“Well you’re on the right path, keep going down it, make him feel like you want him back, that dumping him was the worst mistake!” she said poking his hand gently.

“It’s not just me though, it’s him, he’s the one who’s given up on us,” Derek protested and rolled his eyes when Cora gave him an exasperated look in return. 

“Can you blame him?!”

“I don’t see why I have to put in all the work.”

“You don’t, you both have to, but someone has to make the first move and that has to be you and then you both work at it. You can’t blame him, Derek! I think I’d be the same with Isaac but unlike Stiles I would chop off his dick and feed it to him if he ever did this to me,” Cora argued and slammed her hand on the table when he looked down at the table. “Do you love him?”

“Cora…”

“Do. You. Love. Him?” she said stating every word until he nodded and she smiled at him satisfied. 

“Then tell him, prove it, and…don’t be scared. He’s not Kate and he never will be, you need to teach yourself that” she said startling him to swallow and watch as she stood up walking away. 

“Fuck,” he whispered shoving the paper away from him and bringing his hands to his face to massage his temples. It would probably be easier to give up now and let bygones be bygones and move on. The problem was his heart and mind had different ideas and they knew what and who they wanted. They always tell you to listen to them and he sighed deeply as he stood up collecting his sunglasses and keys. 

The problem with having a bad persona placed on you was that you were judged and getting a job in this town was going to be hard enough. Derek went to the only place that would even allow him a chance and he walked into the only bar in the place that would let him in. 

“Frank, just the man I wanted to see,” he said with a pleasant smile. 

“Not see you around here lately, Hale,” he said in his usual gruff tone eyeing him carefully. 

“Quitting the binge drinking. I need a favour, I need a job,” he said and watched him snort with laughter. 

“You’re looking in the wrong place.”

“I’m hopefully looking in the right place, I need a job to support myself, my sister, and you know no one in this fucking town will take me on.”

“Yeah, with reason, you’re a bad egg,” Frank argued wiping down the side. 

“Yeah and I’m trying to get better…I just need a chance, a trial, I won’t let you down,” Derek argued and pleaded at the same times. 

Frank sighed deeply as he threw down his cloth looking him up and down. “Well you’re an eye candy lad and you’ll certainly get the crowd in I guess for that. Fine, tonight, be here for five, you get one chance and if you screw up…you’re gone!” 

Derek nodded repressing the urge to smile when he walked out of there feeling a sense of positive. It had been three days since he had seen Stiles outside the coffee shop and he was kind of desperate to see him again. Thankfully it was a Saturday and there was no school for Stiles when he sent him a message asking to see him. 

_“Why?” – Stiles. 11:16am._

_“I need to see you. I’ll pick you up.”_

_“Fine.” – Stiles. 11:23am._

Derek smiled faintly before heading back to the apartment block and getting into his car to go to the house and instead of waiting he knocked. The door opened not revealing Stiles but the Sheriff who frowned at him confused. 

“Derek?”

“I’m here for Stiles, sir,” he said politely faintly hearing a crash upstairs before footsteps ran down and he met Stiles’ shocked eyes when he appeared. 

“I see that,” he said slowly looking between them. “Stiles didn’t say anything.”

“It was sudden,” he explained. 

“Well, before you both go running off…come in,” he said opening the door wider.

Derek felt a tickle of fear at the back of his neck before nodding once and stepping inside. Stiles eyes were wider than he had ever seen when he looked at him in question before glancing at the door. It was a hot day outside and his top clung to his skin when he walked through the hallway into the living room. His eyes went around the small space, it was cosy, well kept, and he couldn’t help but look at the mantelpiece to see the pictures. 

There was pictures of Stiles when he was a young, a picture of a young woman he remembered to be Claudia smiling and holding a baby Stiles. It made his heart clench when he tore his eyes away and turned to see the Sheriff staring at him. 

“Can I get you a drink, Derek?”

“No, I’m fine, thank you,” he said with a small smile before it faded quickly. 

Stiles followed behind still continuing to stare at him with confused question shining in his eyes when he got closer to him. 

“What the hell?” he hissed at him. 

“If I’m going to win you back then I need to prove myself not only to you but to your dad,” he whispered meeting his eyes for a moment. 

Stiles opened his mouth stunned but quickly closed it when the Sheriff walked back in from the kitchen with his own drink. 

“Sit down,” he said all politeness but Derek could sense a storm brewing when he sat down and Stiles fidgeted before sitting on the seat next to him. 

“So are you back together?”

“No.”

“Not yet,” Derek answered ignoring Stiles reply and watching the Sheriff nod thoughtfully. 

“Stiles, do you not want him back?”

“I, uh, I…don’t have a clue what’s going on but I do, I think, I don’t…” he said trailing off and throwing up his hands. 

“We’ve…gone through a little trouble. I’m trying to sort myself out, in every way possible, starting with a job.”

“You have a job?” the Sheriff said with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, recently as well, I’m working in Franks starting tonight.”

He didn’t have to look to feel Stiles staring at the side of his face shocked. 

“Franks bar? Nice place,” he said with a nod. “So how are you going to sort out breaking my son’s heart?”

“Dad!” Stiles hissed slapping a hand over his eyes. 

“I have every right to ask!” he protested and turned accusing eyes towards Derek who swallowed. “I could still have you arrested you know.”

“Dad…” Stiles whispered but pressed his lips together when his dad held up a hand and Derek squeezed his knee gently in reassurance. 

“I know.”

“He was seventeen, the only reason you’re not is because of Stiles and I wouldn’t want to hurt him like that because he’s my son.”

“I appreciate that, it…just happened. I should have waited till he was eighteen.”

“Hey! It was both of us, I wanted it just as much as he did. My age has nothing to do with it,” Stiles protested looking between them. “Can we not do this right now?”

“I think we are,” the Sheriff argued.

“Stiles, it’s okay,” he murmured in reassurance when he looked at him with a heavy sigh.

Derek looked at the Sheriff to see a fierce determination similar to Stiles. “I’ve made mistakes, one of them…was letting him go, and I pushed him away when I shouldn’t have. It’s only recently that I realised. I didn’t mean to hurt him.”

“But you did,” he said with a nod to Stiles who looked uncomfortable when he stared down at his hands. 

“I won’t do it again.”

“Can you assure that?”

“Without a doubt,” he agreed with a nod to the Sheriff when he stared at him thoughtfully. 

“Well…this is uncomfortable,” Stiles said loudly when silence followed. “Can we go now?” 

“You can, but you, you will come around weekly, and you’ll knock at the door first if you come to see him,” he said to Derek who nodded in agreement. 

They both watched as he got up leaving the room and leaving the two of them alone. Stiles breathed out slowly turning towards him and indicated his head for them to get up and leave. The sun beat down on them when they got out and Stiles walked till he was stood next to his car and looked at him. 

“Did you mean that in there?”

“What? I said a lot in there.”

“That you made a mistake of letting me go and you won’t do it again!” he cried shoving his chest gently.

“Yeah,” he said with a nod watching his body deflate when he leaned back into the car watching him. 

“It’s a change of heart from three days ago. I meant what I said as well, I don’t think I’m good for you just yet, Derek. You have a lot of crap you need to deal with.”

“I do but I want to deal with it with you. If we want this to work, we both have to work at it.”

Stiles’ eyes narrowed at him when he pushed off the car and pointed a finger at him. “Those…are not your words, they’re Cora’s aren’t they?”

“Maybe,” he replied coyly folding his arms over his chest when Stiles laughed shaking his head. 

“She’s right though, it takes two to make a relationship work.” 

“Is that what we have?”

“No…not yet,” Stiles said with a smirk looking up at the sky. “You have a job though. Well done! You’re all grown up now!”

“You’re not funny,” he said when Stiles pretend sniffed and wiped under his eyes for false tears. 

“No, really, one step forward in the right direction.” 

“So what do we do now?” he questioned watching him when he looked up at the sky and basked in the sunlight. 

“I don’t know, what do you want to do?”

“I want – I want you back,” Derek admitted honestly startling Stiles to look at him and suck in a deep breath. “You were wrong about just giving up on us and not needing you. I made a mistake, I’ve made a lot of them in the past few years, with…Kate, with Laura, with Cora…and I don’t want to make another one with you.” 

Derek was patient when he watched Stiles deliberate over that before nodding and pressing into his personal space. 

“Fine, okay, then let’s work on it. It’s not a relationship! But we can…we can work towards…it,” he said with a vague gesture and a grimace. 

“Works for me,” he said feeling that hollowed ache in his chest shatter piece by piece when Stiles smiled at him softly. 

“So…can we go get some lunch? You’re paying,” he said circling the car with a smirk before he got in. 

Derek rolled his eyes in good humour when he opened the car door getting in. It was the right path and he intended to stay on it no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want Stiles running back to him like he didn't do anything because he did. I also wanted Derek unsure and like a yo-yo going back and forth over what to do, wrong decisions, and basically they're both as bad as each other. It's not a relationship again, not yet, but in time it will be.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all comments and kudos!

The beauty of spring and summer plus it being June was that the sun was out, temperatures were up, and Stiles could go the beach happily enough. The benefits of “dating” your ex-boyfriend again were beneficial when he could convince him to take him there on the weekend. He was able to bask in the sunshine when he laid back on the dune and looked at Derek sat next to him looking around. His eyes hidden by sunglasses when he scanned the area. 

“You know guys use that as a tactic to watch girls in their bikinis or guys walking around in nothing but shorts,” he said propping up on his elbows and smirked faintly when he looked over. He bit his inner bottom lip when he looked up and down his body slowly before looking at his face.

“I don’t need to look at anyone else.” 

“Flattery will get you everywhere,” he said looking down at his chest that was pale in the worst way. “I look like a milk bottle though.”

“No, you don’t, you look good,” Derek said slowly reaching his hand over and trailing his fingers down his chest slowly, they travelled down to his stomach and over his hipbones making him jump. His cock took a great interest when it hardened under his shorts when he watched Derek remove his hand. 

“You don’t need to be tanned,” he said continuing to look around. 

“I can tell,” Stiles breathed sitting up and attempting to think unsexy thoughts otherwise he was about to push him into the sand and find a release. “God, it’s hot!” 

“You can call me Derek.”

Stiles paused staring out at the ocean before turning towards him and striking him on the arm. His lips twitched into a smile when Derek chuckled righting himself. 

“If anyone is God, I am,” Stiles said with a smirk grabbing his water bottle and taking a gulp. He couldn’t help but feel Derek’s gaze on him when he swallowed down the water. 

“You’re an idiot,” Derek muttered with a shake of his head. 

“I’m your idiot,” Stiles replied with a shrug and paused when Derek turned towards him stunned and didn’t speak for a long moment. “What is it?”

“Nothing, just…you’ve said that before but…not in reality.”

“What do you mean?”

“I dreamt you said that,” Derek said softly.

“Seriously!?” Stiles said in surprise. “That’s weird. What did you say in the dream?”

“I said…if I remember correctly…yeah, you are,” Derek said staring out across the beach. 

Stiles hummed finding it odd when he laid back down and closed his eyes. It was silent between them as the sound of people screaming and laughing along with the crash of the ocean filled the silence. It was calming in a good way and he opened his eyes to look at him when Derek laid next to him with a sigh. 

“So…how much masturbating did you do in these last two months?” Stiles said conversationally and laughed when Derek huffed amused.

“Do you want a head count?”

“Oh literally,” he whispered turning his head to look at him and grinning when Derek took off his sunglasses and narrowed his eyes at him. 

“Too many times,” Derek answered honestly.

“Same, it was rough, who knew I could miss sex that much?” 

“You get used to it.”

“Fuck, seriously?” Stiles murmured with a sigh. “Well hopefully not for long.”

Derek made an agreeable sound next to him. Stiles opened his eyes slowly turning his head to the side to look at him with his sunglasses now back on. He hoped that agreeable sound was for them in the future because for now it was only friendship based between them. It was made between them but Stiles couldn’t help but feel that frustrated edge to it. His mind screamed at him to lean over and kiss him but his heart told him to stick to his values and not go running back so soon. It was enough to give him a constant headache. 

“I’m going for a swim!” he announced sitting up and hurrying down the dune towards the water. The lifeguards were out and it was safe to swim when he looked at the screaming children splashing each other. The water was cool enough to step in and wade into the water when he let it cool his heated skin. It was nice, relaxing, and he stared up at the sky when he inhaled the smell of the ocean salt.

Stiles turned to look at the dune and saw no sign of Derek there. He frowned treading water looking for any sign of him walking around and felt confused further when he couldn’t find him. It left him worried when he realised that if he upped and left then he was left miles from home. He was distracted enough to not even think about Derek being in the water and couldn’t even cry out when he felt something tug at his foot and pull him under. 

Stiles heaved coughing and spluttering for breath when he kicked up and broke the surface to see Derek there smirking at him. 

“You dick! You scared the shit out of me!” Stiles cried smacking his wet chest and brushing his hair off his forehead. “I thought I was going to get eaten by a shark!”

“That’s what they are for,” he said pointing at the lifeguards on the beach. 

“Not funny,” Stiles hissed before attempting to breathe and gave him his back when he swam away. He didn’t get far when Derek caught up pushing him under the water. It turned into a full blown water fight when Stiles came back up and shoved back with a chuckle. They soon got bored and headed out of the water to go get the towels they had and sat drying in the sun. 

“I think you should go back in and do a James Bond,” Stiles suggested looking over to him with a chuckle when he rolled his eyes. 

“No, I’ll have middle aged moms all over me,” he said nodding at the people below them. 

“Plus angry dads wishing they were more attractive. You’d get family arguments by simply walking out of the water!” 

Derek didn’t answer as he shook his head more amused than exasperated at him. Stiles took that as a win when he laid back and let the sun heat his skin and dry him the best he could. They spent the last couple of hours at the beach before his stomach rumbled desperately for food and they headed back to the car. 

“Your car is going to reek of sand and the ocean.”

“You can clean it.”

Stiles snorted with laughter when he brushed himself down the best he could before getting into the passenger seat. Derek drove them to a local KFC under Stiles’ insistence that he needed chicken. He sat near the window wearing damp shorts but had a t-shirt now covering his upper half when he waited for Derek to come back. 

“If you look any sour you’ll look like an off lemon,” he said when he returned sliding his boxed meal over to him. “Chill, you can work this off in a workout!”

“It’s disgusting.”

“It’s fried, salted, and amazing. Shut up and enjoy it,” Stiles argued and grinned when Derek narrowed his eyes at him annoyed before digging in. “We can’t all eat salads.”

“They’re healthy,” Derek argued chewing on a fry. 

“Yeah and boring and unsatisfying,” he argued in return eating his boneless chicken dipped in the gravy. Stiles couldn’t hold back the moan of pure pleasure when he swallowed it down and paused to see Derek staring at him with barely controlled restraint. 

“Did you hear something you like?”

“You’re an asshole.”

“That’s my line,” he whispered picking up a fry and stroking his tongue up it slowly watching him. Stiles laughed hard throwing his head back when Derek looked away shaking his head. 

“You…” Derek whispered trailing off and shaking his head. 

“Oh it gets better,” Stiles said dipping the fry in the gravy before slowly sucking it off and laughed in his hand when Derek licked his lips nervously. 

“Stiles, stop it,” he insisted with an almost pleading tone to his voice. 

“Does it turn you on?”

“Do you even need to ask?”

“Wow,” he whispered chewing the fry instead. “Who knew licking gravy off a fry could cause such a reaction?!”

“You know exactly what you were doing.”

“Yep,” Stiles agreed feeling happy and amused when Derek flipped the finger at him before digging into his own meal. The KFC filled a hungry space in him when he relaxed into the hard chair with a sigh sipping from his drink. “This has been fun, like the beginning.”

“I thought that was what you wanted?”

“It is but it doesn’t help when all I want to do is kiss you and punch you at the same time.” 

“Which one is stronger?” 

“The kissing,” Stiles muttered quickly and glared at the smug pride in Derek’s eyes. “Love and hate is a thin line.”

“Which one is winning?”

Stiles didn’t answer but he didn’t have to when Derek smirked looking down at his finished meal when he put it on the tray to throw into the trash. The drive home was a long one when they played the radio in the background and Stiles was beginning to feel the day in the back of his eyes. It was almost a relief to get back to Beacon Hills and Derek drove him home parking outside. His dad’s car wasn’t there meaning he had the house to himself when he unbuckled and glanced over at him. 

“We should do this again.”

“Hopefully,” Derek agreed. 

“I’ll text you, if you’re lucky,” he muttered with a small smile opening the car door and paused when Derek reached out gripping his shoulder tight. “What?” 

He didn’t answer when he pulled him closer and pressed his lips against his. It was soft, nothing more than a brush of a kiss against his lips, but it left him craving more when Derek pulled away. Stiles stared at him breathing shakily before adjusting and moving out of the car. Derek stayed there till he was in the house and he leaned back against the closed front door. Stiles shut his eyes calming his racing heart and headed into the kitchen rooting through the cupboards till he found his Adderall and took two. 

Stiles grabbed his phone and sent a quick text to Lydia. 

_“Is it possible to fall even more in love with someone???”_

_“Yes. It’s endless.” – Lydia. 5:15pm._

Stiles swore as he ran upstairs to get into the shower and changed into clothes that didn’t stick to him and smell of the beach. He was dressed and lying on top of his bed when Scott text him asking him to come around. Scott was prompter than usual when he arrived fifteen minutes later looking glum and looking for a pick up. 

“You look like a kicked puppy dude, it’s killing my heart,” he said handing him a soda and sitting on the sofa next to him. 

“You’re sunburnt, where you’ve been?”

“The beach, Derek took me,” he said looking at his arms and pressing his hands to his cheeks. “We’re…working together to get a relationship again. It’s a little weird.”

“Just a bit,” Scott agreed with a nod. 

“But I want to make it work, I want him, no one else, but he’s a dick so we have to work together to move past it!”

“He hurt you though.”

“He’s not a saint, Scott,” Stiles protested sticking up for him. “He hurt me, I…hurt him, I kissed Danny, I…may have made up this little lie that we fucked and he was furious. We’re bad as each other really but a different kind of a bad.”

“I think he’s worse!” 

“Whatever, he’s mine,” Stiles muttered with a wave of his hand. “Why are you here and looking like a tortured puppy? If you say Allison though I’ll kick you.”

“I don’t want to be kicked,” Scott said sheepishly. 

Stiles sighed because it was the only thing he could do when he leaned back into the sofa. 

“I told you to be patient!”

“I am being, she…she won’t even talk to me, she avoids me in school. I miss her.”

“I can tell, it’s like how it used to be,” he muttered rubbing his forehead. “You need to give her time! Man up.”

“You’re one to talk, you were miserable after Derek dumped you!” Scott argued frowning at him.

“Yeah but I kept it to myself and like you noticed when you were wrapped up in Allison anyway. Look, she probably needs more time, she’s upset her parents hate you, right? So try and work around that.”

“I don’t know how!”

“God, you sound like Derek,” he muttered looking up at the ceiling. “She’s your ex-girlfriend, you can do it, think about it, and be who you are!”

“What?” Scott said furrowing his forehead and looking at him confused. 

“I don’t know,” he admitted honestly. “Just do whatever you need to do.”

Scott frowned at him but relented anyway as they decided to put on a few films ranging from Iron Man to Thor. It was relaxing and easy as they sat in comfortable silence till his dad got home and carried a takeaway. 

“Father of mine, two words, blood…pressure,” he said gesturing at his body. 

“Son of mine, my body, my blood pressure, stop…fussing,” he said with a small smile whilst Scott laughed softly at his side. 

“Oh god, fine, well when you keel over and I’m sat by your bedside…then you’ll be sorry! Are you staying?”

“Is there enough?”

“There’s enough,” his dad confirmed from the kitchen.

Stiles smiled at Scott in confirmation when he slapped his knee gently before going to sit at the dining table. 

“You’re pink,” his dad pointed out with a nod at him. 

“Derek and I went to the beach and I’m pale, stop staring at me,” he said with a scowl pushing fries into his mouth. 

“Is he still coming around tomorrow?”

“Yep,” he said and waved a hand at Scott who glanced at him confused. 

They ate dinner sharing stories about their day until they were in the kitchen and Stiles washed the cutlery with Scott hovering. 

“Why is Derek coming around tomorrow?”

“Dinner, dad’s instructions, he wants to get to know him better if I’m going to date him again. It’s not just dad, its Derek as well, he wants to do this,” he explained rinsing them off and drying his hands. 

“Wow, I never thought I’d see that day.”

“Neither did I, seriously,” Stiles muttered with a smirk walking out of the kitchen. 

Scott stayed another two hours with him before he reluctantly went home to Stiles’ surprise. He went to his bedroom and dropped on the bed wriggling on the cold sheets with a small moan because they felt so good on his skin. Stiles sighed happily enough before reaching for his cell and sending him a text. 

_“Are you coming tomorrow?”_

_“Yes.” – Grumpy. 7:21pm._

_“Good ;)”_

Stiles hummed closing his eyes and breathed in and out listening to the low chatter of the television downstairs. It soon drained away when he fell asleep without a problem. There was no nightmares, just endless darkness till he woke up on his own to stare around the dim light of his bedroom. He blinked confused before turning over to see it was nearly half past five.

“Shit,” he whispered realising he slept through the entire evening and through most of the night like this. His t-shirt and shorts clung to him from sweat and sleeping all night and he yanked them off before curling under the blankets for a little more sleep. He got another three hours before waking up at eight on a Sunday. 

Stiles did his morning ritual of toast and coffee before sitting in front of the television and putting on cartoons. 

“I was thinking chicken and fries for dinner tonight. He’s not allergic to anything is he?”

“Love,” Stiles muttered and looked at his dad who raised an eyebrow. “Ignore that, no, I don’t think so, we had chicken yesterday though.”

“When?”

“Three letters…KFC,” he said with a smile and watched him roll his eyes.

“Steak then.”

“Steak is good, he likes steak, medium rare, before you ask,” he said when his dad opened his mouth and he nodded satisfied instead. “He’s all man.”

“Fine, tell him to be here for four,” he said walking out of the living room. 

Stiles grabbed his cell shooting Derek a good morning message with the rest of the information before leaning back and watching the television. 

_“Looking forward to it.” – Grumpy. 9:02am._

Stiles couldn’t help but smile at that. The effort was being made which he appreciated and Derek still had his job. It was going well for him so far and for them it was all a matter of patience. He spent most of the morning lounging around in his sweats till his dad snapped at him at one for him to get up and get showered. 

“Just you wait, this will all I’ll be doing in college,” he said and watched as his dad’s expression faltered. It caused an ache in his chest when he got his clothes together before heading to the bathroom. Summer break was literally around the corner and when he returned in September he would be in his final year. It would mean final exams, applying for colleges, and Stiles knew what his dad wanted was the best. There was always Beacon Hills College but he knew he didn’t want that for him. His dad wanted Stanford, Yale, Princeton, Dartmouth, Berkeley, and so on and so forth. 

Stiles let the warm water wash over him when he scrubbed at his now sore skin still heated from yesterday’s sun. He got out and dried himself down before pulling on a blue top and blue shorts before heading downstairs. 

“There we go, much better,” he said nodding at Stiles who waved him off.

The hours ticked by slowly and Stiles was a nervous wreck when he paced and chewed on his thumb till it bled. 

“Stiles, will you please sit down! You’re making me agitated,” his dad shouted from the kitchen. 

“I can’t help it! Can you really blame me?” he shouted back and paused when he saw a familiar car drive up. “He’s here.”

Stiles didn’t wait for a reply when he headed to the front door and opened it up waiting for him to walk up to the drive. 

“You made an effort,” he said looking at the short sleeve Henley and jeans with a hum. 

“What did you want me to come in?”

“Naked, preferably, you’d make an impression,” Stiles joked and made a small sound when he kissed him briefly before pulling away. “Now that’s not fair.”

“What?”

“Kissing me like an aunt,” he muttered folding his arms over his chest. 

“Your aunt kisses you on the lips?”

“No, my only aunt lives in France, I never see her, and I mean in general, boring, a brush of lips.”

“You’ll have to wait, didn’t you say…patience?” he whispered leaning in close to stare into his eyes. 

Stiles smirked softly folding his arms across his chest and opened his mouth to respond when a cough behind them startled them both.

“Do you think you can move that inside?”

“I know, think of the neighbours,” Stiles mock whispered sarcastically and moved inside closely followed by Derek who shut the front door behind him. 

“Derek, can I get you a drink?” his dad said again all polite and he wanted to crawl under the kitchen table and hide. He had a bad feeling this was going to end badly. 

“Uh, just a water, please,” he said glancing at Stiles before sitting down. 

Stiles sat next to him and smiled weakly when he glanced at him again. “It’ll be alright, be prepared for questioning though. Worse than before and there’ll probably be a mention of college.”

“I’m ready, it’s fine,” Derek whispered into his ear, his warm breath tickling it, and sending a shiver down his spine. 

“You sure, you can run if you want to.”

Stiles stared at his knees instead of Derek who was silent next to him for a few beats before his hand cupped his chin and he turned his face towards him. 

“I’m not running anymore, figuratively,” he whispered. 

His fingers were gentle on his face and all he could do was nod when they pulled away and it was interrupted by his dad returning and handing him the glass of water. 

“So how’s the bar work?”

“Great, it’s a great way to get know people,” he said taking a sip and putting it down on the table.

Stiles knew it was a lie, Derek hated people, talking to them, getting to know them, but he wasn’t about to turn around and say that. He noticed the way his dad looked appreciative of that when he sat with a tumbler of whiskey in his hand. 

“So I guess now that you’re on the right road, I won’t be arresting for you for joyriding?”

“No, sir,” Derek said with a hard swallow.

“John, you can call me John,” he said whilst Stiles died slowly in shame. 

“Right,” Derek murmured with a small smile and let it fad when he stared down at his hands. “It won’t happen again. I’ll make sure of it.”

“I hope so, I really wouldn’t want my son’s boyfriend to be in jail by the time he’s thirty.”

“Dad!” Stiles muttered glaring at him. 

“No, I mean it, I want what’s best for you, and I’m sure Derek feels the same. I’m allowed to question, I’m allowed to worry,” he said taking a sip of his drink before standing up. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Stiles whispered slapping a hand over his eyes. 

“He’s your dad and he loves you.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Stiles muttered throwing a cushion over his face. 

He kept still when Derek removed it when he took his hands and pulled him closer to him. 

“I’m here because I want to be here, I don’t care, and I’ll answer any question he throws at me. Okay?” 

“Yeah,” Stiles muttered and closed his eyes when he pressed their foreheads together just for a short moment before he pulled away and he breathed easier. 

~*~

The tension at the dinner table was one to be reckoned with when they sat down for dinner. Stiles at his left and John in front of them eating steak, fries, and a selection of vegetables. The steak was done to how he liked it and he carefully cut a piece popping it into his mouth. It was juicy and seasoned to perfection and he hummed in satisfaction gaining a look from Stiles and approval from John watching him. 

“So are you two in a relationship yet or…?”

Derek looked at Stiles when he did and let Stiles answer. 

“Not yet, we’re getting there on our own.” 

“Well if you two were…what would happen with college?”

“Do we have to talk about that now?” Stiles snapped looking at him. 

“It’s only a few months away. You’ve in your final year and you need to start applying. You’re a clever boy, Stiles, and you can do better than Beacon Hills…” 

“Whatever he decides, I’ll support,” Derek said startling them to look at him. “I have no ties here. I have Cora but she’ll no doubt choose a college out of Beacon Hills.” 

“You’d follow him?”

“We’ll see what happens.” 

Stiles was speechless staring at him before he looked down at his plate. His hand was dangling by his side when he reached under the table brushing his fingers against his. They worked together when they slid them together interlocking their fingers together so they were holding hands. It was a reassurance. There was a faint blush to his cheeks when he ate the fries with one hand. 

Conversation then was stilted when John asked the odd question about his job, Cora and how she was doing, and he dreaded a family question but it was never asked. 

“I’ll just do the dishes,” Stiles said jumping up and heading to the kitchen. 

“I’ll help?” 

“No, I’d like a quick word with you alone if that’s okay?” John said when he went to stand up.

Derek nodded sitting back down. John leaned forward and looked him directly in the eyes.

“One warning, one final and only warning, you hurt him again and I will not be afraid to shoot you and then throw you in prison for having underage sex with a minor. That is my job as the Sheriff and as a father. I will not watch as he suffers again from a broken heart. Do you understand?”

“I understand,” Derek said softly in reply. 

“Good, you can go,” he said indicating his head to the kitchen. 

Derek collected his plate and glass when he joined Stiles in the kitchen. 

“What did he say?”

“He did what a dad does and threatened me,” he said grabbing a washed plate and a cloth to dry it with. 

“Oh my god, seriously?!” he hissed bowing his head to the water. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about, like I said, like a dad does.”

“Yeah, my dad, the Sheriff, we can get out of here when I’ve done these.” 

They worked in comfortable silence when they washed and dried the dishes together before they were finished and headed out.

“Dad, we’re off, I’ll be back later,” he said waving a hand in his direction. 

“Be careful and good!”

Derek followed him out and smirked amused when Stiles let out a groan collapsing against the car before they got in. 

“Did you mean it?”

“Did I mean what?”

“College, you’d support me and follow me?”

“We’ll come to that when it happens,” he said looking at him and away. “But in a way, yes, I wasn’t lying about it.” 

“I feel like I’ve woken up in another universe sometimes. Where are we going?”

“Mine, I have something for you,” he said softly.

“Is than a euphemism?”

“No, Stiles.”

Stiles laughed softly next to him when they arrived outside the apartment block and headed inside. Cora was out when they got in and he pointed at the bag waiting on the sofa. He watched when he crossed the room and peeked inside only to gasp and pull it out.

“You got me Lord of the Rings special addition with all the features?!”

“Yes, I thought we could change my mind.”

Stiles was quiet for a moment before he perked up remembering. “The beach! Oh yeah, I remember, are you serious? You hate it!”

“I haven’t watched it since I was thirteen.”

“So you want to watch it again?”

Derek attempted to remain nonchalant when he shrugged joining him on the sofa and Stiles beamed at him. 

“Okay, number one it is, the fellowship isn’t that good but hell we need to begin with it!” he said jumping up and putting it in the DVD player. 

Derek relaxed into the cushions and jolted when Stiles literally threw himself next to him happily enough. It didn’t take long at all really for Stiles to somehow get closer to him and lean against him. Stiles sighed as he rested his head on his shoulder and he rolled his eyes at the subtle movements. 

“Come here,” he said moving to lean against the arm rest and pulled him to sit between his legs and lean back against his chest. 

“Are you sure?” he said peering back at him. 

“Stiles?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.”

Stiles smirked leaning further into him as they settled watching Lord of the Rings until he had to go home. It was one step closer to what they were heading towards and a part of him couldn’t wait to when they reached it.


	18. Chapter 18

Summer break was here after endless amounts of crap, studying, essays, exams and now it was goodbye junior and hello senior year. It also meant a summer of heat and hopefully fun. It wasn’t looking that way though with Scott though who was endlessly miserable because his relationship with Allison was officially void. Allison had been flirting with other people as she should and Scott witnessed every second. It wasn’t going too well for him. 

In the meantime at least he had Lydia who had also officially called void on her relationship with Jackson who was moving out of the country. Stiles wasn’t too sure he wanted to see the consequences of that. Whilst everything was downhill for them his was hopefully going uphill. His whole arrangement with Derek was going well but it was leaving him pining for more when they shared a brief kiss, they watched films and he curled up in his arms feeling his lips against his hair, and in the few moments they hugged they clung to each other. It was leaving him desperate and he wanted him more than ever. 

Stiles dumped his bag and changed into fresh clothes before heading over to the loft. He used his key to get into the building and opened the door. He paused when he saw company over and recognised Cora and Isaac but the other two he had never formally met. Derek immediately made his way over to him when he hovered by the front door undecided. 

“I didn’t know you had company, I can leave?” he said stepping back.

“No, no, you can stay,” he muttered pulling him back in and pressing a kiss to his mouth before shutting the door. 

“Well this is news!” 

Stiles glanced over his shoulder to see who he assumed was Erica looking at them with a raised eyebrow. The guy sitting next to her obviously Boyd holding her hand and looking calm and stoic as ever. It left a funny feeling his stomach at the look in her eyes and he looked at Derek with a hard swallow. 

“It’s fine, come on,” he murmured close to his ear before pressing a hand to his lower back and moving him forward. 

Stiles felt awkward when he walked over there and sat down on the spare seat next to Cora who smiled faintly in greeting. 

“Keeping secrets, Derek?” Erica questioned with raised eyebrows.

“I have a personal life you don’t need to know about,” he replied sitting next to him and forcing everyone to budge up to make room. 

“We’re not in a relationship…well not yet,” Stiles said and faltered sitting back when everyone gave him a look. “Just thought I’d put it out there.”

“So it’s like friends with benefits?” Isaac said in interest looking over to them. 

“No, because we’re not…you know,” Stiles said with a gesture before slapping his hand over his face. 

“Seriously? I’m surprised,” Erica said glancing at Derek and away. 

Stiles did the same to see Derek with a clenched jaw and glaring at Erica. It left a sense of unease in his stomach when he stared down at his hands feeling confused. 

“So you’re like…dating?” Isaac said again and looked at Cora who nodded looking a little bored.

“Yeah, kind of,” Stiles replied weakly leaning into Derek. “I need toilet.”

Stiles got up and walked away feeling eyes on him when he got into the bathroom and closed the door firmly behind him. He pressed his back against it with a soft sigh feeling his stomach twist and turn with uncomfortable feelings. It probably wasn’t the best to feel so awkward around his friends but he couldn’t help it. He hovered looking in the mirror before flushing the drain and turning on the water to wash his hands and splash his face. 

He closed his eyes for a short moment before drying his hands and face and leaving the bathroom. Isaac and Cora were gone but Boyd and Erica still lingered talking with Derek. Derek looked angry when he was staring at Erica and looked over to him when he walked over. 

“Where’ve tweedle dee and tweedle dum gone?” 

“Out, they’re getting something to eat,” Derek answered gripping his hand and pulling him to sit next to him. “It’s not a relationship, not yet, but it will be and I intend to keep it that way.” 

Stiles felt confused when he looked at him to see him looking over at Erica who rolled her eyes. 

“Wait, why are you defending us?” he said looking between him. “What have you said to him?”

“Stiles, it’s okay,” Derek muttered.

“No, no, because isn’t this the lot who told you to cheat on me near the beginning…when you went out that time and they told you to end this and that other time as well.”

“Yeah with good reason.”

“What reason?” he demanded and smacked Derek’s hand on his arm. “No, come on…Erica, what reason?”

“Mainly that he’s a lot older than you and he deserves a lot better than a dorky school kid,” she snapped looking over to him. 

“Erica, stop it,” Boyd murmured sitting up straighter. 

“I think you should leave,” Derek warned looking at the pair of them. 

“Oh yeah and Derek should listen to little slags like you then should he? I hear you fucked the swim team. You’re really going to advise Derek to cheat and be like you when you can hardly keep those panties on,” Stiles said with a scoff bristling with anger. 

“You fucking shit,” she hissed going for him which he allowed when he stood up and Derek intervened pushing himself in front of him. 

“Erica, get out…now,” he warned in a voice laced in furious anger. 

“He told me it’s not the first time you’ve tried this, you fucking bitch!” he shouted after her breathing heavily when Boyd shot Derek a look before he dragged a furious Erica out.

“Stiles, look at me,” Derek urged cupping his jaw and forcing him to meet his eyes. “You need to calm down.”

“How can you be friends with her!?” he demanded. 

“I don’t honestly know but I know now that things have to change for the better and she’s one of them. You won’t see her again.”

“Yeah you better hope not because I’ll rip that pretty head off!” he hissed moving away from him and heading into kitchen to get a bottle of water. 

“You know I would never cheat on you.”

“I know that,” he mumbled screwing the cap off the bottle of juice and taking a gulp. 

Stiles watched him stand in the middle of the room staring at him looking a little lost and his heart tugged deep within him. It was an ache he wanted to lose when he put the bottle down and walked over to him wrapping his arms around his neck in a hug. Derek automatically responded when his arms went around his waist pulling him closer. He closed his eyes listening to him breathe in and out and breathed in his cologne. 

He opened his eyes when one of his hands cradled the back of his head and his fingers trailed in the back of his hair. It was a comforting gesture and he sighed softly pressing his face into his neck and staying there. 

“You know if anything happens…I can always blackmail you into telling people you are a cuddler,” Stiles murmured when he pulled back and smirked when Derek rolled his eyes. 

“You’re the one who likes to hug and cuddle.”

“I’m an affectionate guy!” Stiles protested and smiled when Derek huffed more amused than anything else. “You’ll have to get used to it.”

He hummed in agreement and Stiles shivered when his hands pushed under his top and trailed up his back. 

“Fuck,” he whispered arching into his hands. “This isn’t fair.”

“Life isn’t,” Derek murmured. 

Stiles wanted more though. He couldn’t resist pressing his mouth to his jaw and feeling him jerk underneath him. 

“I thought you came here to watch the last of the Lord of the Rings?” he whispered meeting his eyes. 

“You’re the one who started it,” Stiles whispered in reply. “Jerk.”

He was let go after that as they moved away and sat on the sofa to watch the rest of the lord of the rings. His chest was his when he curled against it and rested his head over his heart listening to it beat. His eyes slipped closed when it was halfway through and he ended up drifting off to his disappointment. Stiles woke up later with a jerk out of a confusing dream to find he was alone with a blanket draped over him. 

There was a note on the table from Derek when he threw it off feeling hot and sticky to see what it said. 

**I needed to go to work. You can come see me or wait for me if you want. I’ll be home at midnight. D.**

Stiles glanced at the time to see he had been asleep for a good three hours. He stretched out his limbs when he made the decision to head down to the pub and see him. Frank knew his dad but could keep the odd secret now again. The pub was already active on that Friday night when he passed the people smoking outside and headed in. 

“Hey, Sandy,” he said to the blonde barmaid who was Frank’s fiancée when she looked up at him and shook her head. 

“Stiles, you’re eighteen.”

“I know but I’m not here to drink!” I’m here for –”

“Derek, I know. Frank isn’t here tonight anyway so I’m letting you off” she said with a fond look. “Derek!” 

Stiles found a spare barstool when he sat down and waited for him to come out of the back. 

“You look hot all in black you know,” he said looking him up and down. 

Derek made a small sound when he poured him a coke and pushed it over to him. “On me.”

“Is it because I’m so cute?” Stiles teased taking a sip.

Derek didn’t reply as he walked away rolling his eyes to serve customers waiting. It was interesting looking around to see the many of customers wanting to let their hair down after a hard week of work. Stiles couldn’t take his eyes off Derek working like a pro when he handed drinks and nodded at the men and smiled pleasantly at the flirting women. 

“They all want your ass,” Stiles muttered when it died down and he leaned against the bar to talk to him. “Especially the one in the red dress.”

“She’s not my type,” he said glancing over at her and away. 

“Oh yeah, what is your type?”

“Annoying mainly.”

“That’s a trait,” Stiles muttered handing him his empty glass. “Come on, tell me your type.” 

“I don’t have one.”

“Liar, come on,” Stiles urged leaning forward. 

“What’s yours?”

“Older than me, stupidly gorgeous, dark hair, green eyes,” he said leaning back. “I know, there is so many of them out there but one in particular is a grumpy asshole and I’m really fond of him.” 

“Oh really?” Derek muttered giving him another coke. 

“So, what about you?”

“I don’t have one,” he repeated with a smug smile when he walked away.

“Oh so I’m not your type? I may have to rethink mine then. There used to be a particular strawberry blonde who caught my attention,” he called and smirked when Derek glared at him. 

“You want my type? Younger than me, dark hair, brown eyes, annoying as hell.” 

“Hmm, I wonder who that could be,” Stiles mused tapping a finger against his lips. 

Derek didn’t respond as he moved out from behind the bar to collect glasses. Stiles watched him cocking his head as he admired his ass. There was a particular group of ladies in the corner that he moved towards and he watched with narrowed eyes when they wolf-whistled at him dishing out the compliments. He zeroed in on the drunkest woman who slapped his ass when he walked away. Derek didn’t seemed to mind it when he returned. 

“You enjoyed that didn’t you?” he said indicating his head at the ladies. 

“No, Stiles.”

“You so did! You’re blushing!” 

“Hey, gorgeous, another two white wines here,” the blonde in the red dress called smiling at Derek who nodded walking over. 

Stiles couldn’t hold back his frown when he watched him talk and flirt back with them. It intensified by the second it seemed and he glared at Derek when he came back over raising an eyebrow at him. 

“What?”

“You were flirting with her.”

“I wasn’t, it’s called polite conversation.”

“Is polite conversation looking down her dress?” he said with a scoff. “Stop rolling your eyes at me! You were flirting with her.”

“Are you jealous?” Derek murmured leaning forward into his personal space. 

“No,” he lied looking away from him and down the bar with a sniff. 

“I think you are, you’re practically green with jealously, Stiles,” he whispered meeting his eyes. 

Stiles looked to see the two women down the bar looking over at them, mainly looking at Derek, and glanced in the corner to see the same. They were all looking at Derek and he hated it. It was the only thing he could do when he turned towards him and nodded.

“Yeah, probably,” he muttered before pulling him towards him and kissing him hard. Derek stiffened underneath him for a second before cupping his neck and kissing him back. It was exactly what he wanted when he listened to the whispers and talking around them when they parted and he licked his lips staring at him. 

“I’m feeling a little better,” he whispered when Derek closed his eyes with a sigh. 

“It’s always the good looking ones!” a voice called out before laughter broke out between the ladies in the corner. 

“It’s a good job Frank isn’t here,” Sandy said looking between them with a chuckle.

“Blame him,” Derek muttered with a roll of his eyes. 

“He was flirting with the two women over there,” he said looking at them from the corner of his eye to see them talking in hushed tones. 

“I wasn’t, he was just jealous.”

“We usually kiss each other out of jealously.”

Derek gave him a pointed look when he grinned around his glass drinking the rest of his coke down before heading to the toilet. He soon returned to a new glass and could feel people staring at him. There wasn’t a single doubt in his mind that by tomorrow the whole town would know that he kissed Derek. It wasn’t as scary as he thought it would be. 

Stiles sat back down on the stood shooting him a small smile when he looked over at him. 

“So you’re the one who snatched that gorgeous man up,” a slurred voice said when he looked up to see the blonde in the red dress next to him. 

“Yeah, kind of,” he said with a nod smelling wine and the heavy scent of her perfume surrounding him. 

“It is always the gorgeous ones,” she said with a pout petting his cheek before stumbling towards the bathroom.

“What did she say?”

“It was really me she wanted,” Stiles joked when he came over and took his empty glass way. “No, she was asking me if I was the one who snatched you up. It was fun.” 

“I have everyone staring at me thanks to you.”

“You’re famous once again!”

“You’re a pain in my ass,” Derek muttered wiping down the side.

“Yeah but it’s a good one,” Stiles said with a small smile and hummed in surprise when he leaned in kissing him again. “What was that for?”

“Getting you to shut up, it doesn’t work,” he whispered walking away to the other side of the bar. 

There was a happy ache in his chest when he fiddled with the beer mats and the minutes ticked by and more drinks were drank by the regulars. They were drunker whilst Stiles stayed a stubborn sober and his pleas for beer fell on deaf ears with Derek and Sandy.

“You’re lucky I’m letting you in here!” Sandy said turning him down for the fourth time. 

“You both suck,” he muttered pulling a tongue at the both of them before hopping down with a full bladder. The toilet was empty when he entered and went to a urinal. He was emptying his bladder when the door opened and a man he didn’t know stood next to him reeking of cigarette smoke. There was a nervousness as he finished off quickly moving away. 

“God doesn’t like faggots like you.”

“What?” Stiles said turning in surprise to see him staring at him with narrowed drunken eyes. 

“You’re a faggot, I – I saw you, like it up the ass do ya?” 

“I don’t think God cares to be honest. Billions of people and he’s focused on me and Derek? I don’t think so,” he said in retaliation and went to head to the door when his arm was gripped tight and he was slammed against the wall. 

The grunt of pain that escaped him was much needed when the drunk stranger pressed into him and leered. His arm pressing against his throat when he desperately tried to push it away. 

“Filthy little cocksucker aren’t you? He does see, he sees…all,” he whispered into his face whilst his other hand gripped the top of his hair and slammed his head into the wall. 

Stiles couldn’t stop the cry of pain and fought back the best he could but he was bigger, stronger and slammed his head into the wall again. He was beginning to feel dizzy and scared when the bathroom door flew open with a loud bang. Stiles barely saw as a livid Derek appeared yanking the stranger away and throwing him on the ground. 

“Derek,” he whispered but Derek didn’t hear him as he hauled him up and punched the guy hard in the face. It caused a commotion when Derek grabbed the guy by his jacket hauling him out of the bathroom. 

“Dirty filthy faggots! You deserve to burn in hell!” the guy shouted aiming a punch at Derek and catching his lip so it split. 

“You think you can touch him and get away from it?” Derek hissed kicking him to the floor. “No one touches him…ever. I’ll see you in hell first.”

Stiles watched as Derek punched him again and again till the guy was spitting blood. It caused a further commotion around them when people shouted and screamed gathering around, some getting their phones out, and Sandy screaming at them to stop. There was a look in Derek’s eyes had never seen before and it honestly frightened him a little when he watched unable to do anything when the guy fought back whilst his mouth and nose dripped with blood. His hand struck out catching Derek on the forehead so it cut and bled. 

The guy hit the ground again when Derek kicked him in the gut so he groaned before choking on his blood and he moved forward grabbing him.

“Derek, stop!” he shouted breathing hard gripping his bloody hands and staring into his eyes. “Come on, Derek, come on!”

They were escorted out under Sandy’s orders when she looked at them both, nodded, and pulled out her cell for the unconscious drunk bleeding on the floor. Stiles held his hand tight when he led him outside and patted down his pockets finding his car keys. 

“Get in,” Stiles whispered when Derek checked him over. “I’m fine, I promise, just get in the car before the cops arrive and arrest you.” 

Derek was quiet when they got into the car and Stiles drove them back to the loft. His head throbbed from being slammed against the wall twice. He parked breathing out shakily before getting out and waiting for Derek who followed after him. The loft was empty when they got in and he ordered Derek to sit down when he moved to get a bowl of warm water and a cloth for the blood. 

Stiles knelt by his side when he dipped the cloth in the water and washed the blood off his knuckles.

“Stiles…” Derek whispered. 

“You’re an idiot,” Stiles muttered meeting his eyes.

“He hurt you.”

“You could have killed him!” he protested looking up at him. “This is assault, this is something you can go away for if he presses charges, Derek. What am I supposed to do then?!”

“He hurt you,” Derek repeated without care. 

“I’ll talk to my dad, he won’t let anything happen, not with homophobic slurs being thrown around for everyone to hear.” 

The water was pink when he knelt between his legs and pressed the cloth over the cut above his eyebrow. Derek winced a little but remained quiet when he wiped the blood away from his face and his lip. 

“Why do you put up with me?” Derek questioned softly when he was done and put the wet cloth in the water and stared at him.

“What are you on about?”

“Why do you put up with this? You could have anyone, Stiles, anyone in the world. That Danny, anyone in that bar…but you put up with me.”

“Yeah I deal with your shit, the fucked up attitude to love and life, the dumping me for getting to know you, and everything in between. You want to know why?”

“Yes,” he whispered. 

“Because I love you and I know I shouldn’t. I really, really, love you but I hate you as well but it’s small and in the background. That’s why I stick around because you went and made me love you,” he said softly standing up to get a plaster for his head. 

Derek was thoughtful when he returned applying it to the cut and pressed a kiss over it.

“I kissed your boo boo,” he said with a huff of laughter. 

Stiles licked his lips when Derek stood up carefully checking him over when he checked the back of his skull and his neck.

“You’re okay, there’s a bump but it’ll go down. How do you feel?”

“I have a headache, I feel sick and nervous,” he admitted honestly. 

Derek was quiet when he stroked his hands down his back before pulling back to stare deep into his eyes. 

“Say it again.”

“What?”

“You know,” he whispered.

Stiles pressed his lips together gently before cupping his jaw and meeting his eyes. 

“I love you.” 

It must have hurt his lip but he didn’t show it when he pulled him against him kissing him hard. Stiles gripped him harder cupping the sides of his neck when he parted his lips letting him in and moaning when Derek pushed him towards the bed. 

“Oh fuck, I’ve missed this,” Stiles whispered when they parted to pull at each other’s clothes. Derek grunted in confirmation when they pulled their tops off and pushed their pants down. His back hit the bed and he watched as Derek hovered over him scanning his eyes down him for a moment before ducking into kiss his throat. His stubble scratched against his skin gently when he kissed over his throat and neck softly before capturing his lips once again. 

“I guess we’re in a relationship again,” he breathed and groaned when he moved down to kiss his left nipple. 

“Whatever you want, but…yes,” he murmured looking up to meet his eyes before moving to kiss down his stomach with intent. His hands stroked down his thighs gently when his briefs were removed and he was left completely naked. His body shivered in anticipation for Derek who kissed around his cock and completely avoided it. 

“Oh my god, will you just fuck me already?” he whispered gripping the pillow under his head. “Two months, Derek!”

“I know, I’m taking my time, be…patient,” he whispered moving up to cup his jaw and kiss him soft but deeply. Stiles breathed out harshly when they parted and couldn’t bear it as he brought him back in and for the first time flipped them around. Derek made a small sound of surprise when his back hit the mattress and he stared up at him in confused surprise. 

“I want to ride you,” he whispered and enjoyed watched the lust flame in his eyes when he nodded gripping his hips tight before grabbing the lube. Stiles pressed his hands into his chest and threw back his head letting out a groan when lubricated fingers breached him rough and hurried when he scissored him open. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he whispered over and over again when Derek pushed a third finger up inside of him. 

The burn was satisfying and exactly what he needed when he rocked down on his fingers needing them to be deeper. He whimpered when Derek removed his fingers and wasted no time when he wrapped a hand around Derek’s cock levelling up. They groaned simultaneously when Stiles sank down till Derek was balls deep inside of him.

“Oh god, Stiles, you’re so tight,” he hissed grabbing his ass cheeks and digging his nails into the skin. Stiles breathed out shakily when he gripped his shoulders and rose up and down his cock clenching around him. He hadn’t done this before with him and he didn’t know why so it took practise when he faltered for a moment. 

“You’re doing good, so good,” Derek whispered moving to sit up against the wall thrusting up inside of him to help him along. 

Stiles nodded seeking his lips and panted against them when things got rougher, faster, and more urgent when he moved his hips rocking against him. It didn’t take long for Derek to flip them around so he was yet again on his back and thrust into him. It was different, it felt different, and Stiles couldn’t help but stare into his eyes. It was instinct and what he wanted when he grabbed his hands and locked them together with his. 

“You’re all I want,” he whispered kissing him and stroking his tongue against his. 

Stiles removed one of his hands so he could attend to his neglected cock and stroked himself to release and moaned clamping down. It gained a groan of approval from Derek who fucked into harder. The bed groaning and creaking underneath them as they moved and worked together to bring each other to orgasm. His come splattered against his skin when he cried out and hit his own climax. 

“Come on,” Stiles urged Derek tiredly palming his ass cheeks when he urged him deeper and bit his lip satisfied when he reached it. Derek panted above him, his forehead and neck damp with sweat when he collapsed against him. 

“Fuck,” he whispered wrapping his arms around him and smiled weakly when Derek kissed him. “Does your lip not hurt?”

“Not really,” he murmured pulling out of him slowly and flopping onto his back. 

Stiles pouted at the loss but sighed content when he was pulled into his arms and they lay together simply breathing and letting their hearts slow down. The sweat cooled and the come on his chest and thighs dried so he shivered despite the warm weather and his heated skin. 

“Shower, come on,” Stiles muttered pulling on his hand when they stumbled and walked into the bathroom. He turned it on and paused closing his eyes when his arms went around his waist and he nuzzled his neck gently. The water was heated and perfect when they got in under it and he grabbed the wash cloth and soap. 

“So are we?” Stiles questioned when he washed Derek’s chest gently.

“What?”

“In a relationship again? Because I want it, I really do, but I don’t want to get into this if you’re just going to dump me again.” 

“No, I want this, it’s not going to happen again.” 

“You really went for that guy tonight…there was this…look in your eyes that I had never seen before. It was scary, slightly arousing, but like…you’d kill for me,” Stiles said staring at his wet chest before meeting his eyes. “Definitely a change of heart then.” 

“He hurt you, he forced his arm against your neck, and smacked your head in the wall. He’s lucky I didn’t kill him,” Derek muttered bitterly taking the wash cloth off him and washing him down. 

“Possessive, I like it,” he whispered with a small chuckle and kissed him back when he leaned it. 

It was hot and wet and unrushed when they kissed till their fingers and hands were wrinkly and their lips bruised and red. Stiles wrapped a towel around his waist feeling sleepy and hungry when his stomach rumbled and he grimaced at Derek.

“You got any food in?”

“No, we can order, you know where the takeaway menus are.” 

“I just want a burger and fries, maybe some garlic bread,” Stiles mused finding the menu. 

“Me too, order me the same,” Derek said as he pulled open his drawer to get some clothes out. 

Stiles did just that and pulled on the clothes on the clean top and clean briefs he left out for him. He pulled the collar over his nose inhaling deeply and smiled when Derek gave him a look. 

“It smells like you.”

“Well they are my clothes.”

“You just like me wearing them.” 

“I prefer you naked,” Derek said sitting on the sofa. 

Stiles rolled his eyes when he came over and straddled his lap so he faced him. “I can’t always be naked. I’ll get cold.”

“I’ll keep you warm,” he murmured looping his arms around his waist. 

“Oh! Cheesy line!” Stiles said with a laugh and held still when he kissed the side of his neck before biting into it giving him a hickey. 

“What is it with you and leaving marks on me?” he muttered with a grimace when he touched the tender area. 

Derek didn’t answer when he looked over it bemused. Stiles sighed as he leaned forward wrapping his arms around his neck and pressed his cheek into his hair. The delivery guy took forever with their food but he was relieved when it came but wasn’t allowed to answer.

“You flirted last time,” Derek said shoving him back down on the sofa so he flailed glaring at him.

“He flirted with me!” he hissed in protest watching him answer the door, hand over the money, and take the food before slamming it closed. Stiles made grabby hands when he handed over the sweaty white bag of food. 

“Oh god this is awesome,” he muttered when he opened it up and shoved the fries into his mouth. “I’m actually surprised you’re eating fast food.”

“I don’t really care about my body at the moment.” 

“We can work it off,” Stiles said coyly giving him a suggestive look. “We have two months of catching up to do. I have a whole summer off. I intend to do it having lots of sex, preferably getting drunk some of the time, and having fun before senior year.” 

“Works for me.” 

Stiles was happy, happier than he had been weeks ago, and he was stuffed when he ended up finishing his late night dinner. They headed to bed after they washed up and brushed their teeth before climbing into the bed and facing each other.

“Have you missed me being here?”

“No, you steal all the covers.”

“Liar, you let me, you kick them off.”

“I try and get them back but the last time I did you hit me in the face in your sleep,” Derek argued whilst he laughed silently into his pillow. 

“I’ve missed you, I know we’ve seen each other like every day, but I missed this,” he said gesturing between them and smiled faintly when Derek understood. He was more than ready for sleep when he shuffled closer to him resting his head against his chest. Stiles shivered when his fingers trailed into his hair in a soothing motion getting rid of the headache bit by bit when he drifted off in his arms ready for whatever happened tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing this part of the prompt. It was fun and a good way to get them back together. 
> 
> :)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all comments and kudos guys! :)

He was expecting the knock to his door that morning. It woke him from a dreamless sleep when he stared around the room before focusing on Stiles sleeping on his front carefree and snoring softly. Derek pulled on some clothes before opening the door to see the Sheriff looking tired in the early morning. He was silent when he looked over him and nodded.

“I can only guess my son is here,” he said softly.

“Yeah, he’s here, and I’m guessing you heard about last night.”

“I heard about you defending my son from a man with a tendency for homophobic behaviour. I’ve already spoken to him and he confessed to pinning my son against the bathroom wall before you came in and beat the living crap out of him.”

“He hurt Stiles, he deserved it, every bruise, every cut, and every broken rib. I’m sure I heard it crack.”

Derek stepped aside letting him in and looked over at Stiles still fast asleep. He gently shook him awake and smiled faintly when he peered up at him grumpily.

“Your dad’s here,” he murmured stroking the back of his head still feeling a slight bump there. He pulled back when he flailed keeping the blanket wrapped around him since he was naked underneath there.

“He was defending me! It was all that piece of shit at the bar who called me a faggot and said I deserved to rot in hell!” he said pointing at his dad who raised an amused eyebrow at him. “Derek doesn’t deserve to go to prison!”

“Stiles! I know, calm down, I’ve already spoken to him and I’m pressing charges against him for assaulting my son in a bathroom. He’s not pressing charges against Derek but I will give you a warning,” he said pointing a finger at Derek who nodded. “No more beating up people, I can’t get you off the hook twice.”

“If no one hurts Stiles I can guarantee it,” he said folding his arms around his chest whilst Stiles got dressed under the cover before hopping out and rushing forward.

“I see you two are back together,” John said gesturing between them.

Derek glanced at Stiles who met his eyes with a small smile before nodding. 

“Yeah, about time, but last night sealed it for the both of us.” 

“Remember my warning.” 

Derek nodded again watching him look between them before deflating slightly and heading back to the door.

“I better get back to bed, I expect to see you for dinner,” John said to Stiles who saluted in confirmation. 

The door closed behind him when he left and he couldn’t resisted moving behind him and wrapping his arms around his waist to nuzzle the side of his neck. Stiles hummed happily enough when he turned around and wrapped his arms around his neck.

“So you’re not going to prison,” he murmured happily enough against his cheek and Derek couldn’t help but kiss him and kiss his smile. “I think my dad is starting to like you.” 

“Well isn’t that a good thing?” 

“Hell yeah it is! It means family dinners and Christmases won’t be so awkward!” Stiles said and hummed happily enough when he gripped his wrist and tugged him to the bed. 

“Christmas dinners? Are we spending Christmas together?” Derek mused pushing him down and covering his body when he smirked up at him with a nod. 

“Yeah, turkey, stuffing, presents, you mister grumpy are going to learn the true meaning of the word Christmas spirit.”

“That’s two words.” 

“It doesn’t matter, you’re going to learn the meaning.” 

“I’d love to spend Christmas with you, Stiles, you know I would. To be honest…we haven’t really celebrated it since Laura died,” he admitted honestly hovering over him when he trailed his fingers through the softness of his hair. “I, no, we had no reason to…it was just another day. We exchanged a gift of course but we didn’t celebrate it. There was just no point.” 

“I want to change that,” Stiles whispered bringing him down so he was pressing his weight against him. “Christmas isn’t so bad. I had that Christmas, it was the year that my mom died…I just couldn’t do it. I woke up that morning and…she wasn’t there. It was the worst feeling in the world and my dad tried so hard. It didn’t work for both of us and it failed. It got easier when the years passed but it still hurts even now.” 

It was enough to make him frown and he wanted to make that sadness in his eyes disappear completely. Derek pulled him in when he kissed him softly and moved when Stiles moved them so he was lying on his back and Stiles took charge when he straddled his hips. 

“What about a bit of lazy morning sex?” he murmured cupping his neck before kissing him softly staring into his eyes. “I’ve missed you being inside of me, missed your touch on my skin. Do you know how many times I imagined the thrust of your big fat cock inside of me?”

“Fuck,” Derek replied feeling his cock harden when his blood rushed south towards the headed destination. 

“I masturbated so damn much, Derek, imagining you pinning me down, up against a wall, on the floor, anywhere. Your lips, your cock, your hands, all over me till I was desperate and begging you. I came so hard that I screamed your name,” Stiles whispered pressing a kiss to his throat. 

“Stiles, fuck,” he muttered desperately yanking him back towards him when he kissed him hard biting into his bottom lip. Stiles gasped in pain and pleasure when he gripped him tight yanking off his clothes till he got to the bare skin underneath. He was naked and horny when he remained in his lap when he kissed and nibbled on the skin of his chest watching him with a sense of smug delight when Stiles moaned exposing his throat. 

He was his. Stiles was all his, every moan, every soft pant and swear word from pleasure was all for him. There was no way he was ever parting from it again when he turned slamming him down into the mattress kissing down his navel.

“Tell me more, tell me how wet and hard you were,” he whispered against the skin of his stomach. 

“Three fingers deep inside of me, naked on my sheets, my thighs and legs spread so apart when I fucked myself. I imagined you, I imagined it was doing it to me. I was so wet with lube…I soaked the sheets and could hear everything, every sound when they entered my body and…when I stroked myself…god I screamed for you.” 

Derek swore pressing his lips to his pelvis before paying special attention to his cock when he sucked one of his balls into his mouth. Stiles’ groan of pleasure was enough for me when he spread his legs wider pressing his thumb against his asshole gently. His lips circled the head of his cock when he sucked on it gently tasting the sweat and pre-come lingering there. It felt good to have him back in his mouth again when he held him down when he sucked him down taking care to bring him off slowly. His hand did the extra work when he stroked him along with his mouth. His tongue trailed under the underside and he watched Stiles gasp squeezing his eyes shut and grasp the pillow under his head choking on his moan. 

“Derek, I –” he cried out before drawing out a moan when he spilled his load into his mouth so he swallowed it down and pulled off licking his lips slowly. 

Stiles’ chest heaved when he stared up at the ceiling and his legs gave out when Derek pulled himself up to hover over him flashing him a smile. 

“You okay?”

“That was…wow,” Stiles murmured with a nod lifting his head to capture his lips with his own. “I want more though, don’t hold back now.”

“You’re greedy, very…very…greedy,” he murmured pressing a kiss to his lips when he pulled off his own clothes and grabbed the lube from under the pillow. 

“Like you care,” Stiles murmured trailing his hands down his chest and digging his nails in leaving pink lines in its wake. 

Derek raised his eyebrows at him when he looked down and rolled his eyes at Stiles’ innocent smile. He was rough in retaliation when he pressed his fingers up inside of him and held him down when Stiles gasped arching up into him. 

“Oh god more!” he pleaded gripping his thighs.

Derek smirked when he wriggled his fingers deep into his feeling the wet hot heat of him when he opened him up for him. His eyes stayed on Stiles when he wriggled like he was possessed and gasped for him. It was amusing and arousing all the same when he pulled out his fingers and lined up before pressing inside of him. 

He was tight around him when he was pressed and moved till he was deep within him. It took everything not to climax there and then when he moved his hips beginning to thrust up inside of him slowly. He couldn’t hold though when he started to pound into him harder and faster and watched every reaction from Stiles when he panted against his lips. It didn’t take long at all when he climaxed deep inside of him with Stiles clenching tightly around him when he finished collapsing against him.

“Oh wow,” Stiles breathed kissing the corner of his mouth gently. 

Derek hummed in agreement when he eased his soft cock out of him. He watched when his come slowly dribbled out of him and collected it with his fingers before pushing it back inside of him. Stiles narrowed his eyes at him contemplatively before he pulled away to lie next to him. 

“That was awesome.”

“I thought it would be,” he murmured shutting his eyes.

“Now…how about making me a big cooked breakfast?” Stiles whispered rolling to place his chin on his chest and shoot him a grin. 

“No, if you’re hungry, go make something.”

“You’re mean,” he whined smacking over his nipple gently. 

“No, tired, go make it yourself.”

Derek pushed at his head gently and smiled gently when he huffed burying his face into his chest. They remained like that till Stiles growling stomach got him up and dressed when he moved to the kitchen to make some breakfast for the both of them. The smell hit his own nostrils when he got up and dressed to press up against him when he cooked.

“You just can’t keep your hands off,” Stiles murmured tilting his head to the side to allow him to kiss his neck softly.

It was ruined though when the front door opened and Cora came in humming along with her iPod. Cora paused when she saw the two of them and raised her eyebrows at them.

“Is this what I think it is?” 

“Yeah,” Stiles muttered leaning back into him.

“Good, it’s about time you two idiots realised you’re totally shit without each other,” she said going into the fridge and getting out a bottle of Gatorade before heading up to her bedroom. Cora got halfway before turning around and pointing at him. 

“What happened to your face?”

“I got into a fight, man hurt Stiles, and I tried to kill him.”

“Why am I not surprised?” she murmured looking at Stiles who smirked back at her before she turned on her heel and walked up the stairs. 

Derek watched her leave with a roll of his eyes and pressed his cheek into his hair before leaving him to get a quick shower before eating. There was a side to him, a side he had kept hidden for so long was starting to emerge because of him and a part of him liked it more than he should. He washed his body getting rid of the come and sweat covering him before getting out and rubbing himself dry before wrapping a towel around his waist. 

The food was ready and waiting for him when he got out and sat on the sofa bringing it into his lap. Stiles sat next to him turning on the television and turning it onto the cartoons. He didn’t speak as he looked over at him and shook his head when Stiles flipped the finger in his face. 

“That is my television you know.”

“It’s mine now, cartoons are the only thing to watch in the morning and you know it so…shut up,” he said settling back when he munched on the bacon. 

Derek settled back watching the crap on his television while he munched on his toast and Stiles was a warm presence by his side when he became enraptured by it. It was a nice feeling and one he wanted to keep when he watched him out of the corner of his eyes. It was a wonder to himself why he let it go. 

“Are you going to tell Scott?” he said when Stiles was finished and stood up.

“Yeah, why not? It’s not like a secret last time. This is a relationship, out in the open, official, you know the whole freaking town will know about us now. We, my grumpy pussycat, are going to be famous.”

“Pussycat?” he scolded folding his arms over his bare chest. 

“Yeah, you’re grumpy and pissed off and like to frown but inside you’re a giant fur ball of cuddles and affection with a wild side in the bedroom.”

“I’m doubting why I chose you now, you’re an idiot,” he murmured catching him when he jumped at him and wrapped his arms around his neck. 

“Because I’m awesome!” he whispered peering into his eyes. “Plus I cook a-mazing bacon and eggs. I’m also hilarious and quite sarcastic sometimes plus I deal with your bullshit.” 

“You’re not hilarious. You’re a pain in the ass,” Derek murmured slapping his right ass cheek hard so he yelped hitting his back. 

“That pain is you,” he whispered getting up and moving to get ready. “I have to go, I’m meeting up with Scott but I’ll be around later.” 

“I may have work. I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m fired,” he muttered with a soft sigh. 

“Sandy saw it, she knew what happened, explain it to Frank and if not…I’ll get my dad to talk to him.”

“Your dad is not fighting my battles. I’ll sort it out.” 

“He isn’t fighting them, he’s helping you, suck it up and deal with it,” Stiles said heading into the bathroom to wash his face and teeth before emerging ten minutes later. 

“I don’t need his help, Stiles, don’t tell him a thing,” he warned watching him walk over and duck down to press a kiss against his lips.

“Fine, I’ll text you,” he muttered with a frown. 

Derek watched him leave and shut the door behind him when he leaned back and shut his eyes. It wasn’t long before Cora joined him and sat down heavily next to him. 

“I’ve noticed a subtle change and it’s been what…a few hours?” she said giving him an amused look. 

“He’s brought it out in me.”

“I’ve not seen it in years.”

“Yeah, me too, it’s…odd,” he admitted with a nod. 

“Have you told him you love him?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because while he is ready, I’m not, not yet, do not push me,” he warned pointing a finger at her so she held her hands up in surrender. “I will tell him in my own time, without you there, or anyone else. It’ll be…when I’m ready.” 

“Okay, calm down, I was just asking,” she said rolling her eyes. “I’m just happy you’re back together. I was a day away from smacking your head against a wall.” 

“Thanks, love you too,” he said sarcastically. 

“But really, words of advice here from your little sister, do not fuck this up, okay? Don’t do it. I think you have a one shot here with him now and don’t let him go. He’s good for you,” she said with a small smile before getting up and heading over to make food. 

He was quiet when he watched her do her thing and contemplated her words of advice. She was right without a doubt. In the end their relationship wasn’t perfect, far from it, but for now it was going right and he wasn’t about to let it go. 

~*~

“Back together?”

“Yep,” Stiles said with a smug smile when they sat in the little café down the road waiting for their ordered lunches. 

“All forgiven for him dumping you like a piece of meat?”

“I forgive him weeks back when we started slow and got here. It’s about time we did it! I’ve been wanting him back for ages,” Stiles murmured with a sigh taking a sip of his soda. “I love him and we’re official now.”

“Please…rub it in deeper.”

“Don’t get bitter on me here, please?” he pleaded putting his hands together in a prayer. “You need to do the biggest thing here and…move on. Scott, I know you love her, it’s obvious, but you two…you argued like crazy, her parents hate you, and she’s…flirting with other guys dude.”

“I know,” Scott muttered rubbing his forehead. “I know! It just…sucks.”

“Yeah, it does, but do the honourable thing and start to move on. Think of senior year, college, moving away, and meeting new people!”

“Yeah,” he agreed with a tilt of his head. “Hot girls in college. What about you and Derek, you know, when college starts?”

“We’ve talked about it, well kind of, sort of, but when we come to it we’ll sort it out but he said he’d support whatever decision I made. He ever said he’d come with me! He said he had no ties!” he muttered and smiled when their waitress came over with their plates. 

“Seriously?” Scott whispered shocked. 

“Yeah, I know, commitment or what!?” he hissed sticking his fork into his sausage and taking a bite.

“Would you move in with him?”

“We’ve only just got back together!”

“Not now, moron, I mean…when we move to college and if you guys are still together then you’d be in a relationship for over a year! One year, Stiles.”

“It’s…still a little soon!” 

“You practically live at his apartment anyway!”

“Whoa, hey now, living together is different,” he protested shaking his head at him. “It’s…living together!” 

“It’s cheaper than getting one. You know how expensive college is!”

“That’s what my mom’s fund for. It’s what they’ve both had for me since I was born, twenty dollars every week for every year. I get it when I go to college when it will fund for my education.”

“Oh,” Scott murmured with a nod. 

Stiles hummed in agreement when he continued to eat and got fuller by the second from previously just eating before. He spent the rest of the day with him spending time at his house playing on his Xbox before going home for dinner with his dad. 

“Are you sure about this?” his dad when they sat together to eat pasta and chicken. 

“Of course I am, look, dad, you saw us, we’re together and hopefully this time for longer than five months. Do you know how many people stared at me today? Too many! Do you know how many times little old ladies tutted at me? Ridiculous amounts. I’m in this because I want to be. You have to deal with it.”

Stiles’ hand clenched around his fork when he pushed pasta into his chewing it slowly. 

“I am dealing with it, I’m wary of him.” 

“I know you are, but he’s…kind of different, not all different, not enough to scare the shit out of me but….enough to know it’s probably going to last.” 

It was silent between them after that when he they continued to eat. 

“Are you staying there tonight?”

“Yeah,” he murmured with a nod glancing up at him. “Why?”

“Just curious.” 

Stiles stared at him for a long moment before taking a sip of his milk. The silence grew between them again when his dad finished leaving the table and placing it by the sink before heading upstairs. There was a weird feeling left in his stomach when he was left alone and he felt like he had done something wrong by sleeping at Derek’s tonight. Maybe his hope for his dad finally beginning to not like him but understand was false hope. 

He washed the dishes that night leaving a note for him when he heard him in the shower and headed over. Derek was cooking when he arrived opening the door and giving him a small sad smile when he looked at him.

“What is it?” he said turning towards him frowning.

“Nothing, just my dad,” he muttered with a sigh leaning against the counter. “I think my suspicions of my dad warming to you were false.”

“It would take time.” 

“I know,” he whispered looking down at the floor. “Scott’s the same but he’s a little different. He’s all about us moving into together next year for college.”

Stiles looked up to see wide scared eyes and bit his lip amused. “Don’t worry, I told him it was a little too soon for us.”

“Yeah,” Derek agreed tending to the pan. “Just a little bit.”

Stiles smiled softly before pushing off the counter and circling his arms around him to rest his face between his shoulder blades with a soft sigh. Derek continued cooking his dinner letting him rest there drinking in his scent and warmth till Derek adjusted turning around. His hands framed his face when he tilted it up slightly to look into his eyes. 

“Go sit down,” he murmured stroking his thumb over his cheekbone gently. 

Stiles didn’t speak as he listened to him and moved willingly to sit at the sofa and tuck his legs to his chest when he wiggled into the corner. Derek soon joined him with a bowl of what looked meat and gravy mixed together and he turned the television on putting it onto one of his many programmes these days. For the first time he didn’t feel like speaking when he rested against the cushions waiting for him to finish. 

He didn’t speak when he was done and moved into his arms to press his face into his neck and sigh softly. Derek didn’t try and engage conversation either to his relief when he wrapped his arms around him and kept his eyes on the television screen. 

“Do you still have your job?” he whispered pulling back to look at the side of his face.

“Yeah, I managed to keep it. I got a telling off from Frank but…Sandy fought for me,” he murmured flicking his eyes over to him and away. “I did a good job apparently defending you from him. I got a lot of stares today, more than usual, people whispering behind my back, people side eyeing me from dark corners.”

“Same, told you we’d be famous,” he murmured with a small smile into his shoulder. “The new talk of the town. I give it a good six months before we’re forgotten.”

“You think?”

“Oh yeah,” he muttered with a smirk. 

Derek gave him barely a hint of a smile before focusing on the television and wrapping his arms around him tighter. They watched till it got boring and he felt sleepy when he shut his eyes resting against him heavily.

“Bed,” Derek whispered in his ear so he groaned protesting when Derek moved from underneath him and switched the television off. He was sleepy when he stripped off his clothes till he was in nothing but his briefs. The sheets were cool against his skin when he slid underneath the covers and rest his head on the pillow. The loft was locked up and alarmed before Derek joined him and rolled on his side to face him. 

“You’ve been unusually quiet tonight.”

“Just…thinking,” he murmured meeting his eyes. 

“About your dad?”

“No, not really, just about everything, us, college, our future, what’s happened between us. Just wondering if everything may be a little good to be true.”

Derek was quiet and thoughtful when he nodded slowly in understanding. His eyes closed on their own accord before he moved forward shifting till he was pressed against him and pressed his forehead against his. His breath was warm and gentle against his lips when they stared into each other’s eyes wordlessly. The smell of his hours old cologne and detergent filling his senses when he breathed in deeply. Stiles smiled softly when his hand cupped the back of his head and his fingers trailed through his hair softly. 

Derek was the first to drop off to sleep when his fingers went slack in his hair and his breathing evened out and deepened. Stiles watched him feeling a sense of comfort from it when he reached for his hand linking their hands together enjoying the sense of security, comfort, and the overwhelming sense of something right in his life for the first time.


	20. Chapter 20

Stiles sniffed miserably watching Derek in the middle of the living room when he worked out, his forehead and chest shining with sweat, his muscles bunching and unfurling in the best way. His cheek rested against his pillow and he couldn't feel more sorry for himself if he tried. His throat ached, his sinuses were blocked and achy, his nose was like a fountain of snot that wouldn't stop running despite how many times he blew into it. 

He had been here for the last two days now sleeping in Derek's bed and watching him walk around and do his stuff. Stiles was plain miserable and heavily aroused when he watched him work out. Sex was banned though, it was banned till he was healthy and could breathe without wheezing and hacking all over the place. 

“You're so stupidly sexy,” Stiles muttered watching him glance over at him with a small smirk when he grabbed the towel dabbing at his forehead and chest. “Like seriously...are you sure sex is banned? I mean it'll be bad for you because I look like a reject from that film Shaun of the Dead but it'll be great for me!”

“Yes, not until you're healthy and not looking like Rudolph with your red nose,” Derek answered with a small smile when he walked over and sat on the bed. His hand pressed against his forehead testing his temperature. 

“I feel like shit! It's two weeks to Christmas, I need to do shopping but can barely get a shower without feeling like complete crap!” he whined staring up at him trying his pitiful look. “Do you think I'll still be ill in two weeks?”

“No, I think you'll be recovering and fine.” 

“I hope so.”

“Can I get you anything?” he said pulling the cover up to his chin. 

Stiles smirked at him being comforting and looking out for him. “Yes, my cough drops, my medicine, and I would love some chicken soup and warm bread!”

Derek's look at him was flat when he pressed his hands together in a prayer and shot him a small smile almost pleadingly.

“I love you more than anything.” 

Derek huffed when he stood up and moved away returning with tissues, cough drops, and a bottle of medicine. Stiles went to grab it and pouted when Derek slapped his hand away unscrewing the cap and pouring the red liquid onto the teaspoon. He opened his mouth for it when Derek gestured at him and he gagged swallowing it down. 

“That tastes like ass!” he muttered with a sigh. 

“How would you know?”

“I've tasted yours,” he muttered and smirked when Derek rolled his eyes walking away and walking into the kitchen to make the chicken soup. The covers were warm around him when he settled stretching out on the large bed feeling comfortable and looked after. It was the best feeling in the world and his eyes strayed to Derek opening a tin and pouring it into the saucepan. 

It had been five months since they got back together and they had their ups and downs like any normal couple would. It was so far, so good, and it was no way perfect but it was exactly the way he liked it. He loved him a little more everyday and to spend Christmas and New Year with him was going to to be the best. 

In the five months together since the breakup Scott had finally accepted the both of them. He was even civil with him when Stiles hung out with him and Derek sometimes tagged along with him. It was odd watching them talk and now that Scott was over Allison and Allison was in a new relationship things were a little easier between them. His dad though was a different story, he was civil to Derek like the gentleman he was, but behind closed doors he was wary of Derek. Derek defended him, he defended his actions, and said it was every parents job to be worried about their children. Stiles couldn't hold the same thoughts and hated that his dad still even after the whole year they had known each other not accepted him as his boyfriend. 

They had the odd argument now and again, the silliest things, and it always resulted in one or both of them shouting at each other till one of them left. It also resulted in sulking for two to three hours before crawling back to each other. The make up sex was the best though. They often got caught though and it was mostly by Cora. The first time was embarrassing, the second embarrassing and frustrating, and the third time annoying when they waited for her to leave so they could continue to have sex up against the wall.

Stiles sat up when Derek came over fifteen minutes later with the soup and bread handing it over and sitting on the edge to watch. It was warm and soothing for his throat when he swallowed it down letting out a small pleased moan of pleasure. It was also satisfying to look up and see lust blown in his eyes after the sound was made. 

“Did you really have to make that sound?”

“I did,” he said with a wink before chewing on the bread. “Thanks for this...you didn't have to. I know you get...weird about it.”

“Why wouldn't I look after you?”

“Because I’m sick! No one likes caring for a sick person.”

“I don't mind,” Derek admitted softly brushing his hair off his forehead and testing it yet again before standing up. “I'm getting a shower, when you finish this, I want you to get some sleep. You'll feel better.”

“Sir, yes sir,” Stiles muttered saluting and coughing when his lungs contracted. 

Derek left him to it when he finished with his mid afternoon snack and dumped the tray on the floor. He was warm and and comfortable when he shuffled down and turned on his side to get some rest. The water in the background was comforting for him when he closed his eyes willing himself to sleep. It didn't take long what with the food in his stomach and the medicine flowing around his veins. His sleep was filled with the weirdness of Derek swimming in a pool of chicken soup and lifting cows over his head as weights. 

He woke up what felt like minutes later still lethargic and desperate for a piss. Derek was dressed and sitting on the sofa watching a film. Stiles sighed as he rolled out of bed and padded into the bathroom to relieve himself and stare at himself in the mirror.

“Oh,” he whispered jerking back to look at his hair sticking up, his eyes tired and bags underneath them, and his nose red and dry. He looked horrendous when he washed his hands and walked out standing there. 

“How can you like this?” he said gesturing at himself when Derek raised an eyebrow looking over at him. “I mean I look horrific.”

“You're sick, most days you look good,” Derek replied looking back at the screen. 

“I feel worse!” he whined walking over to him and tucking into his side and smiling faintly when his arms wrapped around him tight and reassuring. “I hate this.”

“I know, you'll be fine soon.” 

Stiles doubted that and looked at the television screen of some western film that Derek was watching and listened to the beat of his heartbeat underneath his ear. It was nice and he was able to enjoy it. It didn't take long for Cora to come in carrying bags of stuff and eyeing them both.

“Still sick?”

“Yes,” Stiles mumbled. “Christmas shopping?”

“Yep, a few bits, we seriously need a tree.”

“I've had this argument over and over again,” Stiles argued glaring at Derek who rolled his eyes. “I want a tree for this place, he said no, I begged, he said no, I pleaded, he said no, I...”

“I think we get it!” Derek said grabbing his wrist with a sigh. 

“It's because he's Scrooge!” Cora said and grinned when Derek glared at her. “Christmas is a time for celebration, love, happiness, presents, and spending a shitload of money. Have you got him a gift yet?” 

Stiles glanced at Derek to see his jaw clench and his stomach tightened at the expression. He looked down at his hands hearing Cora sigh and seeing her shake her head when she walked up the metal steps to her bedroom. His fingers twisted when he stared at them and felt Derek shift next to him and wrap an arm around his waist to bring him into his lap. 

“I haven't because I've been taking care of you and...I don't know what you want. Do you have something for me?”

“No...” he admitted and smacked his shoulder when Derek raised his eyebrows at him. “I've been sick! Look, fine, tomorrow...we go shopping, right, and we get everything we need from our presents, my dads, Scott's, Cora's, and everything else we need.”

“Deal,” Derek murmured kissing him softly and lingering before Stiles pulled back and smiled at him. 

“Still no way I can convince you to get a tree?”

“The real ones smell and the fake ones are tacky!”

“That's the point!” Stiles protested turning to straddle his lap and wrap his arms around his neck. “The tree, the decorating it, the cheesiness of Christmas and getting ready for it. I used to always put the star on when mom was alive. She'd help me out and...it was awesome. This place is so...dark and miserable!”

“Thanks,” Derek muttered dryly. 

“You know I don't mean it like that! It could just do with some cheer.”

“Fine!” Derek said with a heavy sigh.

“Really!?”

“Yes, tomorrow, we'll get a fucking tree with your stupid decorations and we'll decorate it!” he hissed kissing him hard before he leaned back and Stiles punched the air. 

“I love you,” he whispered pressing his lips to the corner of his mouth before pulling away to pull weird faces and sneeze. Derek blinked giving him a blank look when he sniffed deeply and looked at him in apology. 

“I know, I'm so sexy,” he muttered. 

“Yeah, extremely,” Derek murmured flatly. 

“You want this,” he muttered sniffing deeply when he gestured at himself and Derek's lips twitched in amusement before he shook his head. “You sure sex is banned?”

“Completely,” Derek whispered kissing him once before depositing him off his lap and ignoring his grunt of protest. 

~*~

It was winter and Stiles was glad to be wrapped up in the layers, his jacket and coat, his scarf, and his beanie hat that Derek insisted he wore when they went to town for presents and the tree. The place was heaving with shoppers and he held onto Derek's hand squeezing it reassuringly. 

“I think we should split up.”

“Wait, why?” Derek insisted when they stopped. 

“For our presents! I have to buy it without you, dumbass, look we'll give each other an hour to find and buy something. I'll text you and we meet up,” he said with a sniff. 

“Fine,” Derek replied with a hard look. “One hour, don't get lost, stabbed, or kidnapped.”

“You're cute,” Stiles murmured pecking his lips before he walked away. 

Buying for people was the worst thing in the world when you didn't know what they wanted. Scott was easy, he was constantly talking about the new game of his Xbox he wanted and he bought it from the local game store. He bought his dad a tie and cuff links and would persuade Derek to buy him his favourite whiskey for him. Stiles bought Cora some perfume he hoped she would like and then he was stuck with Derek and Derek was the hardest because he was difficult. 

He was miserable when he went around the shops and couldn't find anything for him. The hour was up when he sent him a message to meet him. Derek was pensive and moody when he met up with him.

“People are annoying.”

“Did you find something?” he said nodding at the bags.

“For Cora, yes, for you, no,” he admitted.

“Same,” Stiles said with a smirk watching him glance at him in surprise. “This isn't a sign is it?”

“For what?”

“How bad we are for each other.”

“No,” Derek muttered taking his hand when they walked down the street. “Let's go get a tree and decorations.”

“I was wrong, we're perfect,” he whispered trailing after him when they went to find a tree, preferably fake, and found the right shop. 

“The tackier, the better!” 

Derek's eyes were about to roll out of his eyes sockets when Derek picked out silver and gold tinsel, a star for the top, and a mix of different Christmas baubles. Derek's credit card was out and buying the stuff when they carried it together back to the car. The Christmas spirit in Stiles was electric and he was buzzed with excitement despite how sick he felt. 

“So what are we going to do about presents for each other?”

“How about...” Derek said trailing off to glance at him. 

“What?”

“Well I had an idea...how about we put the money we were going to spend on each other and put it together to book...a holiday for next year. You and me.”

Stiles gaped at him and pressed his lips together before nodding enthusiastically.

“Oh my god, yes!” 

“Really?”

“You, me, a beach, hot weather, hotel room, and no one to disturb us when we're having sex? Hell yeah!” 

Derek looked pleased when he nodded and adjusted the gear getting them home. The loft was yet again empty from Cora who was with Isaac or one of her friends. Stiles dumped his stuff on the bed and checked his cell to see one new message from his dad. 

_“You and Derek for dinner tomorrow, remember? Have you moved in and not told me?” - Dad. 4:13pm._

Stiles smiled softly shooting him a text back in reassurance before turning to face Derek when he pulled his winter covering off and walked over to him. 

“Where should we put it?” he said looking around. “How about near the window?”

“Fine,” he said moving into the kitchen to get a knife and scissors to get the box open and the tree out. 

The process was slow when they had to pull apart the branches and despite Derek's gruff manly protests that he didn't need instructions they used them anyway. It took twenty minutes but soon the tree was up and bare when they looked at it. 

“Halfway there,” Derek muttered. 

“We're halfway there, woah, livin' on a prayer!” he sang and chuckled when Derek shoved his shoulder hard so he stumbled to the left and coughed thumping his chest. “Come on, Scrooge, let's decorate.”

It was a calming process when they slipped on the baubles and tinsel and the lights when Stiles shoved the plug in. He stood on the chair when he put the star on top of the tree closely watched by Derek so he didn't fall off. It balanced well when he jumped down and they looked at the Christmas tree and the shining white lights. 

“It's awesome!” he whispered and grinned at him when Derek hummed looking at him. “Smile!” 

“No.”

Stiles rolled his eyes when he shoved his arm and stood back to go sit on the sofa and look at it. Derek joined him and chose to stare at the off television instead. 

“I'm an excellent influence on you.” 

“No, you're a pain in my ass.”

“It's a good pain.”

“No, it's not.” 

Stiles sighed rolling his eyes to the ceiling and away. “We have dinner with my dad tomorrow.”

“I remember.”

Stiles was happy to curl in his arms when they turned on the television to put it on a programme for the night. His eyes couldn't stop straying to it and he felt a punch of pride in his chest that he managed to do this. He managed to convince Derek to put a Christmas tree in his home without too much argument. It was a success in his eyes. 

Cora came home that night and laughed when she saw the tree and looked at Stiles who grinned back at her satisfied. 

“Well done.”

“Thanks, it's a high compliment from you.”

That night heavily dosed up on cough medicine he fell asleep in his arms well enough and the next day after doing nothing they went back to his. Stiles smiled at his dad when they walked in and glanced at Derek behind him no longer awkward and uneasy. 

“I thought you had moved out going by the fact that you haven't slept in your bed for three days.”

“I've been sick! It was easier, I felt like hell, and he looked after me.”

“Okay,” he said with a nod. “I'm glad you were taken care of.” 

It wasn't as awkward as he thought it would be when they sat down to lasagne on their plates and to his surprise salad when he spooned it on and put vinaigrette on. 

“So, Christmas, will you be there or here?”

“Here, I was, um, I was hoping that we could invite...Derek and Cora here.”

Derek glanced at him and away when they both looked at him as he looked between them also. There was a conflicted look in his eyes just for a moment before it faded and he nodded slowly.

“Of course, you're invited, both of you, it'll...be good to cook for more than just me and Stiles.”

Stiles couldn't hold back his smile when he chewed on the tasteless lasagne and hated his blocked nose. Derek ate calmly next to him when a comfortable silence filled the air between them when they ate. 

“So, Derek, how's Frank doing? I really need to go see the new bar...”

Dinner was successful after that when Derek and his dad shared small talk before it ended with him doing the dishes and saying goodbye at the front door. 

“Thank you.”

“For what?” Derek murmured resting his hands on his hips. 

“For being nice to my dad, agreeing to spend Christmas dinner with us, and just...being awesome,” he muttered resting his own hands against his chest. “It's going to be great, I know it.”

“Why wouldn't I not want to spend Christmas with you?”

Stiles tilted his head and nodded. “Point taken. I'll see you tomorrow.”

The lingered kiss goodbye was exactly what he needed when his fingers trailed into the back of his hair before Derek pulled away to leave. His lips were tingling along with his body when he watched him get into his car and drive away with a roar of his engine. 

“I'm going to get into bed, I feel rough, thanks for dinner, dad,” he said patting the top of his head and smirking when his dad rolled his eyes batting him away. 

His bed was cool when he pulled off his clothes and pulled on and old t-shirt and boxers to sleep in when he climbed in and wriggled to get warm. Stiles' excitement for Christmas was palpable and he couldn't wait to spend it with the people he loved. 

~*~

Waking up on Christmas Day alone wasn't something Derek had in mind that Christmas Eve. Cora was the same with wanting to spend it with Isaac who had no family so he was also alone. It was a week ago that it was decided Isaac would come to the Stilinski's for dinner under the Sheriff's instruction that no one should spend Christmas alone. 

Derek was looking at the tickets for next year for Turkey and jumped when the door opened and hid them underneath the blanket quickly.

“Okay, heads up, you three are staying at ours tonight!” Stiles said in announcement banging on the stairs so Cora and Isaac walked down them confused. 

“What?”

“You two can have the spare bedroom and Derek will obviously sleep with me. It's there, unused and you're with us for Christmas anyway!” 

“Are you sure or better yet is your dad sure?”

“It's both our decision, I talked to him, a lot of talking actually, and he said yes!” Stiles said walking over to him when he stood up and took his hand gently. “It means we can wake up with the people we love on Christmas Day.”

Derek felt his throat tighten and his chest expand with warmth when he looked into his eyes and nodded bringing him closer. His fingers stroked against his cheek when he kissed him and ignored the loud sighs from Cora and the uncomfortable cough from Isaac. He smiled faintly against his lips when Stiles flipped them the bird and wrapped his arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. His worries of waking up alone disappeared and he heard Isaac and Cora retreat back upstairs as they talked about packing clothes and presents together. 

“Well after this it's New Year and we are so celebrating that together!”

“What about your dad?”

“My dad always, always, works New Year's Eve,” he said with a twist of his mouth. “He can work New Year's Eve or Christmas Eve and he always chooses that.”

“We'll work something out.” 

“Yeah, right, you, get your shit together,” he said smacking his ass hard. 

It gained a scowl from him when Stiles smirked stepping away when he got his bag and shoved in some clothes for tomorrow along with the wrapped presents and hid the confirmation for Turkey. They waited for Cora and Isaac to get ready before they left leaving the loft and headed to Stiles' house for the night. It was warm and inviting when they got in and the Sheriff greeted them lifting his glass of scotch in hello. 

“Thanks for this, sir, really,” he said with a nod and kicked Cora who glared at him.

“Yeah, like my big brother said, thank you.”

“It's okay,” he said with a small smile.

“Come on guys, I'll show you the spare bedroom,” Stiles said heading upstairs when they followed after him. Derek dumped the stuff in Stiles' bedroom before walking down the hallway to the spare bedroom. It was nice, clearly a woman's touch was involved, and most probably Claudia Stilinski's work before she passed away. 

“House rules, not from me, my dad, but guys...don't...you know.”

“Oh, and your not?” Cora said with a scoff. 

“I'm going to try my very best!” Stiles protested with his hands on his hips.

“Sure,” Isaac murmured with a soft snort and shoved at Cora gently when she shoved at him. 

“But yeah, save it till tomorrow or even after! I don't care,” he said with a wave of his hand leaving the spare room and heading to his. 

Derek gave them both a look before following after him. Stiles sat on his bed looking at him when he closed over the bedroom door and did the only thing he could think of when he pushed him down. Stiles hummed when he covered his body and they shared sweet kisses. 

“I had to beg him! You'd think he'd understand my need to be with you.” 

“He's your dad.”

“Don't defend him! I had to beg him, Derek, beg to let the three of you stay and have somewhere to wake up to. There's being worried...and protective...but this? It's ridiculous,” Stiles argued poking him in the cheek. 

“Well we're here now.”

“It's not the point.”

Derek refused to argue with him when he was like this, stubborn and unmoving. The rest of the evening was spent downstairs watching Christmas films. John in his own seat dozing, Isaac and Cora curled up together as they whispered on one end of the sofa and Stiles and Derek on the other end when he dozed against his chest. His fingers reached up when they trailed through his hair watching him breathe softly and met Cora's eyes when he felt them on him. 

There was a soft fondness there and he knew that even after all this time she was pleased and would remain that way for some time. It made him proud in a way to bring that out of Cora of all people. The film ended soon after and Stiles was jerked out of his sleep when John woke up with a jerk and coughed slapping his hands on the seat. 

“Bedtime I think,” he said standing up and pressing a hand into his lower back. 

Stiles mumbled sleepily on his lap and squawked when Derek lifted him up in a bridal style to the amusement and the confusion of the Sheriff. 

“Ass,” Stiles muttered sleepily when he carried him upstairs. “Night guys!” 

Derek shut the bedroom door firmly behind them listening to the low murmurs of Cora, Isaac, and John in the hallway when he dumped him on the bed. He helped him undress till he was in nothing but his boxers. 

“You're so awesome,” Stiles slurred sleepily when he tugged his own clothes off and drawn the curtains across before climbing into the single bed. It was a tight fit but it worked when he wrapped an arm around his waist and pressed his chest to his back.

“Go to sleep.”

“I'm so glad you're here.”

“Me too,” he admitted softly. 

“Love you,” Stiles whispered before growing silent. 

Derek was left staring into the darkness feeling Stiles' words float around in his head. He had yet to say it back. Stiles didn't seem to mind, he never questioned, never faltered, and said it to him like it was easy as breathing. The part of him that wanted to say it was screaming at him to do it but the part that didn't was winning. The part that whispered into his mind that the last time he thought he loved someone and said the words they died. The fact he never got to say it to Laura before she died. He couldn't even remember he said it honestly to Cora. 

He sighed softly pressing his cheek into Stiles' hair when he slept on unaware. It took a long time for him to sleep and when he did it was uneasy. Derek eventually woke up hours later to see it was nearly seven thirty and it was Christmas morning. The first time in a long time he felt that tickle and warmth of the whole day when he looked at him sleeping in his arms. 

“Stiles,” he whispered into his ear watching him stir and hit out at him. “Wake up.”

“What...?” he mumbled opening sleepy eyes to look at him and glance around his bedroom. “Is it Christmas?”

“It's Christmas.” 

“Wow...” he murmured before turning his attention to him and smiling sleepily. “Hi.”

“Hello,” he murmured cupping his jaw when he kissed him.

“I'm actually waking up to you, this is insane!” he whispered snuggling closer to him. “Can we stay here?”

“No,” he murmured softly. 

“I know, let's go wake the others!” he whispered with a grin pushing up to pull on some extra clothes. Derek stayed in the bed watching Stiles open the bedroom door and walk out to go to the spare bedroom. 

“RISE AND SHINE!” Stiles shouted opening the bedroom door and began to sing loudly and out of tune Christmas songs. 

“Stilinski, I'm going to murder you!” Cora shouted back when Stiles laughed rushing back to the bedroom and jumping on the bed. 

“That was fun!” he said honestly. “Merry Christmas!”

“You too,” he muttered kissing him back and paused when he heard the Sheriff's bedroom door open. “We have lift off.”

Cora and Isaac were up and glaring at Stiles who grinned innocently back when they headed downstairs to open presents. Derek watched silently when Stiles unwrapped the ones from his dad ranging from iTunes gift cards, DVD's, CD's, clothes of his choice, and he watched the delight shine in his eyes when he thanked his dad. 

“What did you get him?” Cora questioned wrapping the scarf from Isaac around her neck when she smelt Stiles' perfume choice and nodded to him.

“This, it's joint, for me and for him.”

Stiles took the envelope opening it up and sucked in a deep breath. “Turkey?!”

“Turkey,” he said with a nod.

“Oh my god!” Stiles cried jumping at him and hugging him tight. “I thought it'd be somewhere...I don't even know what I was thinking.” 

“Ah...thank you,” John said in surprise looking at the bottle of the favourite whiskey thanks for Stiles who gave it to him to give to the Sheriff. “Thank you, Derek.”

Derek nodded in return glancing at Cora who shot him a smile before it faded. In the end he ended up with the tickets, an aftershave from Cora, a DVD from Isaac, and a book from John that he found interesting. 

“Turkey,” Stiles whispered when he sat in his lap when the television played in the background and Cora and Isaac were in the kitchen with John. “Why there?”

“It was the best deal and I've never been. It's for the summer, when you leave school,” he said resting his chin on his shoulder. 

“Do you think we'll still be together?”

“Why wouldn't we be?”

“You never know what the future might hold!” Stiles said in example meeting his eyes. “But hopefully we will be. I'm not about to give you up, not now, not ever.”

Derek was silent when he looked at him and let him leave his lap and arms when he headed onto the kitchen to help out with dinner. His fingers drifted over the confirmation letters and he let himself hope and smile. It wasn't for months, none of it was, but for now everything in his life was going perfectly.


	21. Chapter 21

The bonus part of a new year was the new things it brought. It was officially March and Stiles was in his final year in high school, choosing colleges and courses to suit his career, and had a relationship that was heading towards it's first year. He was happy about what was to come but also scared of the outcome. Everything was about to change for the better and he couldn't help but think it was rushing towards him at a hundred miles per hour. 

It wasn't just him thought, it was everyone. Scott was the same when he turned a new corner deciding to be a good student, a good friend, and a good son for his own mom. He was getting his head down with his studies and choosing his own colleges to go to. Lydia the same with her sights set on Harvard and getting far from Beacon Hills and Jackson who was set on moving to London. Cora was not part of this team after deciding against college and deciding to stay and get a job here. Stiles knew it just wasn't for her but for Isaac and Derek also. They were all on their own paths and nothing was going to stop them.

Stiles sighed as he laid out on Derek's bed studying for upcoming exams and feeling that itch of boredom in the back of his mind and eyes. His college applications lay at his side when he glanced at them and away feeling resentful. He jumped when he felt arms circle his waist and a warm weight press into his legs and back when he rested against him. 

“Can I help you?” he muttered looking over his shoulder. 

“You're ignoring me,” Derek murmured wanting attention from him when he let his eyes slip closed.

“Because I’m studying for exams. I told you this.”

“I'm so glad I'm not in school.”

“Well lucky for some,” Stiles murmured with a sigh scribbling down his notes. “This isn't the end for me. Wait till college.” 

“Have you decided where you want to go?”

“Stanford looks the best.”

“You have more choices than that though.”

“I know but it's not like I can go to Yale and Harvard!” he protested rolling over and onto his back to stare up at him. Derek frowned at him deeply when he met his eyes.

“You're clever enough to apply there and you know it.”

“You have to say that! You're my boyfriend and you have to be nice otherwise I'll kick your ass but it's not about that. It's money as well.” 

“I -” he started to say.

“Don't you dare say you'd pay for it!” Stiles argued slapping a hand over his mouth and rolling his eyes when Derek nipped his palm shoving it away. 

“For you and your career, yes, I would, I can help.”

“No.”

“Stiles...”

“No, Derek, I have money for college and I can afford Stanford if I can get my grades and I can do art and history there without a problem so...” he said poking him hard in the forehead and rolling back onto his front. Derek huffed behind him before dropping back onto his back and resting his head between his shoulder blades. 

“You're so stubborn.”

“I'm like my mother,” Stiles murmured with a soft sigh continuing to do his work and they rest together in silence. It wasn't just his school work and college that worried him it was also his relationship with Derek. It was going fine for now. They worked together in the best way and there was no mistake about that but it was a big deal for them both. If Stiles did get into Stanford then he would only be a few hours away from him but they had been together nearly every day because they could. They had their space of course but mostly spent time when they could after school and after work. 

His worries wouldn't fade and he wondered that despite the promises that Derek made in the beginning to follow him wherever he went he would leave instead. Stiles dropped the pen with a hard swallow sick of thinking when he pushed up disturbing Derek who huffed annoyed before he captured his lips with his. His hand cupped his jaw when he pushed at his chest and he groaned when Derek gripped his hips tight with his hands. Their mouths were hot and slick when they moved together and he couldn't help but shove him down into the mattress desperate for more. 

“I want you to fuck me,” Stiles whispered against his lips when they pulled at each other's clothes. He heard the rustle of the papers when they fell off the bed and thumped on the floor. He couldn't care about them though when he got Derek naked with his hands and kissed his throat listening and feeling him moan underneath his lips. It was enough to get him hard when he kissed and licked across his collarbone. 

“I want to fuck you.” 

“Good,” Stiles murmured when his hands gripped his ass cheeks tight with his hands, the nails digging into the soft skin, and he panted effortlessly against him when they rocked together. It was bliss and satisfaction rolled into one when their cocks rubbed together eliciting a simultaneous moan out of both of them. 

“You were studying a few minutes ago.”

“Sex is better, much better,” he breathed in reply and bit his lip when his tongue licked and sucked around his nipples. They were pink and stood to attention when Derek parted from them and he was hornier than he had been for a while. 

“Oh no foreplay, let's skip it, fuck me, please,” he begged grabbing the lube and thrusting it at him when he kissed him eagerly. Derek responded by biting his lip so he hissed feeling the skin break when he tasted blood and moaned spreading his legs when he hit the mattress. 

“Look at you spreading your legs for me like a little whore,” he whispered gripping the back of his hair when they kissed.

“Only you, now give me a reason for spreading my legs like a little whore,” he whispered gripping his shoulders and moaning louder when lubricated fingers breached him.

“So tight,” Derek whispered pushing a second and wriggling his fingers deep inside of him. “So tight and hot, Stiles. You're so beautiful like this.” 

“Fuck!” Stiles cried out when his fingers pressed against his prostrate and pleasure pulsed through him. “Oh god, please fuck me, Derek, please!”

“So fucking bossy,” Derek hissed when he pressed a third up inside of him. “Have to be patient don't you?”

“No, not with you.” 

Derek gave him a look when he removed them with a wet pop and slicked up his own cock before lining up to push inside him in one quick slide. Stiles gasped hooking his legs around his waist and digging the heels of his feet into his ass when he filled him up. He was balls deep in him and he could feel everything when he adjusted clenching around him. It was all he could think about in the end when his wrists were pinned next to his head and Derek kissed him lovingly when he thrust up inside of him. It was making love to him when he rocked back into him forcing him deeper. 

Stiles wrapped a hand around his own cock when he brought himself off feeling his orgasm curl his toes when he climaxed onto their stomachs. Derek's hands circled his wrists tighter when he pounded into him harder when they rocked together. Stiles pressed his lips to his cheek breathing hard when he felt Derek's come splatter inside of him when hit his own orgasm. It was satisfying when he wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him deeply before pulling away to close his eyes.

Derek rested on top of him till he smacked his back needing to breathe in and out normally. 

“We just had sex on top of the college applications,” Derek said slowly after a couple of minutes of silence. 

“Oh well,” Stiles murmured with a small smile. 

They got a shower when their bodies cooled and the come stuck to their skin became tacky and a weird feeling. It was done together to save hot water and he enjoyed the feeling immensely when Derek wrapped a hand around his hardened cock once again. 

“So horny all the time,” Derek whispered into his ear when he came into his hand a second time with his heartbeat loud in his ears. He set his teeth into his shoulder and grinned when Derek gripped the back of his neck to kiss his throat. 

Stiles hissed when he sucked a mark there and pulled back kissing over it. 

“You need to stop doing that,” he whispered pressing his fingers over the tender mark. “People keep staring at me.”

“Why?”

“Because it's tacky and I look like a slut.” 

Derek raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him when they finished washing up and got out to dry themselves. Stiles dressed himself in Derek's clothes and brought his strewn about papers onto his lap. 

“Where's Cora?”

“No idea, out, she's always out, I don't even think she lives here any more.”

“The same with me, dad doesn't even text me about staying here either.”

Derek hummed bobbing his head when he sat next to him and glanced over his notes. Stiles sighed when he glanced over his studies. 

“I am so sick of studying,” he mumbled pressing his pen into his mouth and nibbling on the end. “It's all the teachers are talking about. It's either are most important exams, colleges, applications, one to one talks. I just want to finish senior year.” 

“You will, when you study.” 

“I know that, I'm not stupid,” he argued sitting back. 

“You will be if you don't study,” Derek muttered glancing at him and catching his hand when Stiles went to hit his arm. 

“You're an asshole.”

“Yeah and you're annoying,” Derek said pushing him back gently. “Do your work.”

Stiles pouted but did just that when he focused on his work. Derek left him at five when he went to work giving him a kiss goodbye and giving him a feeling of the domestic life. It was boring but he studied till he got a headache and chilled in front of the television. He was dozing when Derek returned at one in the morning and gently picked him up and carried him to bed. 

“You smell like desperate women and beer,” he mumbled. 

“I smell like a bar then, sleep,” he instructed kissing his forehead before walking to the bathroom. Stiles sighed as he stretched under the covers and squinted in the dim light of the bathroom when Derek got a shower. He waited slipping in and out of sleep for Derek to come out of the bathroom naked and rubbing a towel of himself. 

Stiles hummed in delight when he got under the covers naked and warm smelling of soap and hot water. He buried his nose into his chest cuddling closer to him when his arms wrapped around him. 

“How was it?”

“Tiring, the local coming in for wine and beer, and I was, yet again, asked how you are and why I'm gay,” he whispered with a soft snort. 

“They're like hawks with a prey. How are we still gossip?” he murmured. 

“Because it's a small town and when a small town gets gossip they cling to it and never let it go.”

Stiles hummed in acknowledgement before closing his eyes fully when he settled for sleep and let it overcome him. His sleep was practically dreamless when he slept heavily waking up the next few hours with his face tucked into his neck. It was a Saturday morning which meant no school and he could rest in bed all day if he wanted to. He drifted back from him watching him sleep and reached up a hand trailing it over his cheek gently. His fingers inched to his lips when he traced over them. 

“Stop it,” he mumbled making him jump and chuckle nervously. 

“Sorry,” he whispered pressing his lips to his shoulders with a small smile watching him. 

“Stop watching me, go back to sleep, or just...go away,” Derek muttered pushing a hand into his face so he jerked away. 

Stiles pouted looking around when he dropped his head back on the pillow continuing to still watch him when he slept on. Derek didn't seem to know or even care this time around when he watched him and trailed his fingers up and down his arm slowly. 

“Stiles,” he muttered with a tired sigh.

“Sorry, not sorry, but I can't help it.” 

“Yes you can, knock it off,” Derek muttered rolling onto his front and burying his face into the pillow. 

He couldn't resist kissing his back when he leaned over pressing kisses down his spine slowly and smiling when he felt his shiver. 

“You're such a pain,” Derek muttered with a soft moan.

“I know I am,” he whispered kissing his lower back and moving down to bite his ass cheek gently. Stiles laughed when he jerked glaring at him over his shoulder until he crawled back up to him and pulled his face around to kiss him. 

“It's a Saturday.”

“It is, well done,” Stiles said with a fake smile patting his shoulder.

“Why are we awake?”

“Let's do something, let's not stay in all day, please,” he muttered. “Come on you're always dragging me somewhere.” 

“Where?”

“I don't care, anywhere.”

“I can't think, it's too early,” Derek grumbled shutting his eyes. 

“Let's go the fair! Come on, it'll be fun, it like...two hours away from us,” Stiles cried brightly smacking his arm so his eyes opened and he frowned deeply. 

“Why are you so enthusiastic in the morning?”

“I'm awake,” he said with a shrug.

“I'm regretting everything.” 

Stiles got his own way though when they eventually got up and out of bed to get dressed and make sausage on toast with coffee. The last time he went to the fair had been when he was ten years old and it was a day out before his mom got truly sick. It was a good memory and he was curious to see it yet again. 

The drive there was longer than he thought and there was a lot of families and couples around when they walked. Derek paid for them to get in and got them tokens to use. There was only a few rides but the stalls were the best when they walked through and Stiles smirked grabbing his hand when he found the one he wanted. 

“Let me guess, win you a teddy bear?” Derek drawled taking off his sunglasses when he eyed the hanging bears and the game. “Shoot a bottle?”

“Come on! This is supposed to be a fun day out!” 

“I'm not going on any rides.”

“I would never ask you to, come on, big shot, win me a teddy bear,” he teased leaning forward and smirking at the bored attendant when he took one of their tokens. Derek was an excellent shot when he shot them all down without missing to the shock of the attendant and Stiles who gaped at him. 

“What?”

“I'm...aroused,” he said with a nod straightening up and pointing at the blue teddy bear with a smug grin when the attendant handed it over. “We're now officially cliché!” 

“How is that a good thing?”

“It just is, now...goldfish, we can win two, call them after ourselves.”

“Maybe goldfish me will eat goldfish you,” Derek muttered poking him hard in the side so he yelped and hurried forward. 

They didn't end up winning a goldfish but Stiles managed to win him a small toy dog that he took with a roll of his eyes. 

“Hot dog!” Stiles exclaimed when they stood at the stand and got two each with a can of soda. They say at a spare bench facing each other when they ate them. 

“So...I was thinking...you know about the end of school and colleges and my life and your life and...everything to do with that.”

“What about it?”

“Well I know Stanford is a few hours away, if I can get in, but if I can in somewhere else I'm going to be moving there and I was just...” he said trailing off and meeting his eyes. 

“Stiles, what are you getting at?”

“Well we're going to be apart from each other! Cora is staying here and you need to be here for her and I can't ask you to come with me!” he cried leaning back and sighing deeply. 

“Cora is a big girl and she can take care of herself.”

“She still needs you.” 

“No she doesn't, we needed each other in the beginning but...not now, not really. She has Isaac, she has her new job, and her whole life ahead of her. Cora doesn't need her brother trailing around after her.”

“You can't just leave everything behind! You have a job, a home, a family, and I'm...going to college,” he said with a soft sigh. 

“Well isn't that my decision?”

“Yeah but you shouldn't do it for me.”

“Fine, I'll do it for myself.”

Stiles didn't want to hope, he wouldn't allow himself to do that, and he stared at him instead when Derek devoured his hot dog and took a big gulp of his soda. He didn't bring it up again after that but he could the tension in the air between them when the day drew to an end and they headed back to the car. They shoved their won prizes into the back-seat and he nibbled on the end of his thumb watching the passing sights when they drove past. 

He glanced over to Derek watching him focus on nothing else but the road ahead and couldn't help but reach out taking his hand and squeezing it gently. Derek responded after a moment squeezing it back and reassuring him with one simple gesture. 

~*~

Stiles blinked awake when he stared at the morning sun feeling the heat of it already when he stretched out onto his back and yawned. It had been a hectic couple of months from studying to exams daily, headaches, excessive amounts of Adderall and energy drinks, and the odd telling off from Derek and his dad. 

It had been stressful of course like any final year would be and the toll of it was not just on him but everyone around him when he argued on and off with Derek. They'd fight for days sometimes but always make up at the end of it remarkably. He was honestly waiting for the day before things got too much and things blew up around them. Stiles had chosen his colleges after visiting each one he wanted to attend and Stanford was his favourite. It was also his dad's and even better it was also Scott's when he applied for it also. 

He was excited to get things started but for now he waiting for his acceptance into the place. Stiles sighed as he pushed off the cover and walked downstairs to get some breakfast but mainly coffee. His dad was already up and dressed when he waited for him with a blank expression. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he said suspiciously when he sat down.

“Post came early, here,” he said handing over the brown letter. 

Stiles swallowed hard when he took it off him looking at the stamp and at his dad. “Oh...crap. I thought it'd be longer.”

“Are you going to open it? I'm already late for work waiting for your lazy ass to get up.”

Stiles glared at his dad half-heartedly before opening it up and straightening the paper out reading the words of acceptance. It took his brain longer to catch up when he looked up at his dad and exhaled shakily. 

“I – I, uh, I got in,” he muttered handing it over to him. “If I get my grades...but I'm in.”

The pride shining in his dad's eyes was enough to make him want to start crying like a little baby when he was tugged into his arms for a tight hug. He clung back and pulled away staring down at the words before shaking it and going to get his cell phone. He was about to wake him up but he didn't care when he sat on the sofa and listened to the ringing. 

“What?” Derek answered gruffly.

“Good morning to you sunshine, I have news.”

“What news?” he said softly with a tired sigh. 

“That I got into Stanford,”he muttered pulling at his pyjama pants. 

He could hear the rustling of the covers when Derek obviously sat up. “How do you know?”

“I read their minds,” he responded sarcastically. “How do you think!? I got the letter! I get what they want and I am in! I have the accommodation, I just need to get the books and pack my shit up but...I'm in!”

“I'm proud of you.”

“How proud?” he teased. 

“Enough to prove it later on if that's what you mean,” Derek mumbled with a huff of laughter. “I have things to do today so I'll text you.”

“Okay...” Stiles muttered in confusion before he as usual hung up on him without saying goodbye. It was annoying habit of his that he couldn't get him to kick no matter how many times he nagged him about it. 

His second call was to Scott who answered also gruffly and rough with sleep. He told him the news listening to him yelp in happiness before running down to see if he had his own letter. 

“Oh my god, I do, Stiles, I have one, my mom isn't here, what the hell do I do?!” he shouted down the phone. 

“First, you stop shouting at me, eardrums dude, and you open it with me on the phone to you so do it,” he said waving a hand at his dad when he left the house to go to work. He knew by five that the whole town would know he was off to college by his proud father. 

“Okay, okay, okay, I'm opening it...what if I'm not? I mean Lydia is off to Harvard, Allison...well she's off to New York, and...I'm off to Stanford!”

“You got in?!”

“Yeah!” Scott cried down the phone in an excited voice. “Dude, I'll call you back! I have to call my mom!” 

Stiles let him hang up in his excitement when he sat back into the cushions reading over his letter once again. 

“Fuck,” he whispered closing his eyes and tossing it one side when he jumped up and ran upstairs stumbling halfway and stubbing his toe. He hopped instead to the bathroom cursing about his clumsiness when he turned the shower on. 

Stiles showered and dressed before grabbing his car keys and going to see Scott. It was a warm day when the sun beat down on him when he climbed in. There a warmth and happiness in his chest when he drove over there and parked hopping out. Scott answered the door with a grin when they hugged slapping each other's backs. 

“We did it! We're in!”

“I know, my dad is like a happy puppy, and I called Derek who...well he'll tell me how happy he is later,” he said with a grin and laughed when Scott shoved him hard in the arm. “Look how far we've come though from last year!”

“Things are different, we're all different,” he agreed handing him a soda from the fridge. “Especially you...you were head over heels for the local bad boy.”

“He's still a bad boy...but he has his good days,” he said with a leer and laughed throwing his head back when Scott caught the suggestive tone.

“God, you're like addicted to him or something!”

“I'm happy!” 

“I'm glad for you, seriously, but...what's going to happen with him and you and college?”

“Well Stanford is only a few hours away and...I've made him stay here.”

“Why?”

“Because...because he has a good job, a wage coming in, a good loft for him and Cora and they need each other! I can see him at the weekends and when he comes to stay in the dorm.”

“I still can't believe we're not in the same room.”

“We knew it was unlikely,” he pointed out. 

“Still...you could meet someone else,” Scott pointed out cocking his head at him. 

“Shut up,” Stiles pointed out sitting down on his sofa. “I don't want anyone else.”

“I said that about Allison.”

“You two are not together! She's, well she was in a relationship, and she's now moving to New York. I'm with Derek, I’m happy!”

“You were with me two weeks ago drunk and slagging him off.”

“We argued, it's what couples do when tensions are high. I was moody and so was he,” Stiles said defending himself and him. He ignored Scott's pointed look when he flicked the soda top with gusto. 

“It might be better for us,” he said more to himself but not truly believing it. 

Derek was odd when he met up at him and secretive about what he had been up to most of the morning and afternoon. His pleas for him to just tell him were knocked back and he was left wondering what the hell was going on.

“Heard you got into Stanford, congratulations,” Cora said when he leaned back into his chest and he smiled at her in return. 

“Yeah, I'm smart,” he said with a small smile. 

“Or they've not noticed their mistake?” she said with a shrug and laughed when she walked up the stairs when he flipped her the finger.

“She's definitely your sister,” he murmured peering back and smiling when he kissed him lightly on the lips. 

Derek hummed in agreement when he pressed his nose and mouth to the back of his head. It was peaceful between them when they watched television before getting into bed and proceeding to have the quietest sex in the world what with Cora in the loft that night. His gasps were hidden into Derek's neck when he clung to him sweaty and breathless afterwards when they lay in the post coital glow. Derek slept whilst Stiles stared at the ceiling listening to him breathe and worried about everything to come. It was like a nagging feeling in the back of his mind and he hated it. 

His worries were for reasons that he needed when he prepared mentally and physically for his move over to Stanford. He had his accommodation, he finally had his results and got everything he needed and more, but he couldn't help but worry over him and Derek. Derek's behaviour left him reeling and confused when he would disappear for a day and not tell him where he had been, not respond to texts, and for the first time in a long time he had doubts about cheating. 

It left a sour feeling in his stomach and mouth when he thought about it, thought about him kissing and being with someone or than him. It would be probable though and kind of made sense from the last couple of weeks leading up to his moving date. Stiles wanted to confront him but didn't have the right balls to do it because he was afraid of the answer. The more time that passed the more the sour feeling grew to the point that he was snapping at Derek who snapped back with more bite. Their tempers were alike and he hated when they argued to the point of screaming at each other. 

Stiles couldn't even turn to Lydia face to face since she had gone to Cambridge already. Skype and texting was okay but face to face was better. Scott was no help and neither was his dad so he was left to his own damning thoughts. 

It was his last week in Beacon Hills when he sat cross-legged on Derek's bed watching him wander around the room on his phone. The call ended when he smiled at it for a moment before it straightened out and he looked at him.

“What's that look for?” 

“Just thinking,” he murmured softly. “Just...wondering something.”

“What?”

Stiles bit his lip hard meeting his eyes before pushing up to face him. “I want you to answer me honestly, are you cheating on me?”

“What?” Derek replied staring at him in confusion.

“Cheating, the act of deception when you cheat on your boyfriend or girlfriend with another human being, are you cheating on me?” 

“What the hell has gotten into you?”

“Me? You're the one acting all weird and shifty for weeks, Derek! Dodgy phone calls, disappearing all day and not telling me where you've been, smiling at your phone, hiding your phone from me! Look...if-if you are then just tell me.” 

“You don't trust me?”

“It's not about trust!”

“Of course it is!” Derek argued back with a heavy sigh. “You honestly think I'd cheat?”

“I – I don't know, I didn't think so! But...but the weird behaviour is a little too weird for you. It's not like...I'm anything special, I mean fuck, I'm moving to live hours away from you and heading into college.”

“So you think because you're moving away I'd go and cheat?!”

“It's...” he said trailing off and looking down at the floor. 

“What?” he demanded stepping forward. “Are you going to bring up my past behaviour, Stiles?”

“Well it's true!” 

Derek scoffed when he looked away and shook his head. 

“You're not even denying it!”

“I am denying it!” Derek shouted at him. “Fuck, I just didn't realise your lack in trust in me! I'm acting weird and the first thing you think is cheating!”

“Can you blame me?!” Stiles shouted back at him. “I mean, fuck, Derek, look at you and look at me! You could have anyone in the whole world! Why wouldn't you cheat?!”

“Because I'm with you!”

“You haven't even told me you love me and we've been together for more than a fucking year!” he yelled breathing hard and swallowed hard not meaning to come out with that. He saw the shock spread over Derek's face before it cooled into a mask of indifference when he licked his lips looking away. 

“I didn't mean to say that.”

“Sure,” Derek muttered with a nod. 

“It is true though...I'm not pushing you to say it though, not if you don't feel it, but it's just a little thing, only a little, it's mainly the thought of you cheating on me. You've been weird, Derek, what else could it be?!” he demanded. 

Derek was silent when he stared at the floor instead of him. Stiles sighed softly twisting his fingers together and didn't know what to say when the silence between grew uncomfortable and tense. 

“So what now?”

“I don't know, you've accused me of cheating and not saying I love you...what should we do now?”

“Well...you could do explaining why you've been weird!” 

“Why should I? I mean you've got it all worked out? I become secretive and suddenly I'm cheating on you like the last year and a half means nothing to me anymore because you're going to college,” Derek replied with a cold bluntness to his voice. 

“Can you blame me?”

“Why would I want to do that? Like I said you've got it all sorted out haven't you?”

Stiles felt sick when he looked down at the floor and wished he could turn back time and sit back down never questioning this. It was a mess and Derek was staring at him with such a coldness and anger that it left a hard stone in his chest when he tried to work past it. 

“I think you should go,” Derek murmured folding his arms over his chest. 

Stiles didn't even try to argue when he left the loft and didn't look back when he walked out of the building and leaned against the car for a moment closing his eyes. His heart pounded in his chest when he got in and drove home fighting the urge to cry like a little baby. He held it back though when he got home and rubbed his forehead sitting on the sofa. It wasn't one of their best fights but hopefully it would be resolved before he went to Stanford and stayed there. 

~*~

It didn't quite work out that way. 

Stiles kept to himself when he packed up and chucked away the stuff he didn't need but kept his phone next to him and kept an eye on the front door. In the end all he really wanted was an explanation for the weird behaviour recently. It would wrap a lot of things up in his mind but he also knew he was very in the wrong too for excusing him. Stiles did trust Derek, he trusted him with everything he had, but everyone had their moments of doubt. 

The only problem he had was when he tried to contact him and Derek didn't respond to his texts or his calls. His leaving date was getting closer and finally the day was here. His calls and texts were ignored and the only thing left to do was confront him. Stiles used his key when he let himself into the building and stood in the lift waiting when he got to the top and opened the main door. The sight in front of him left him breathless.

It was empty. There was nothing left in there apart from dust and an empty box on the floor. Stiles looked around the empty loft stunned when he moved to the stairs quickly climbing them to see Cora's bedroom also lacking furniture. The loft was empty and moved out of and Derek wasn't answering his calls. 

Stiles swallowed hard feeling confused and hurt when he walked down to the main floor and pulled out his cell to call Cora. Her answer phone wasn't helpful when he reached it and he angrily hung up spinning in a circle. His next destination in his mind was Frank's bar when he locked up and ran down the stairs with one intent in his mind. 

“Hey, Sandy,” he called walking in and smiled at her when she smiled back. “Is, uh, is Derek here by any chance?”

“Derek? No, he – he resigned I thought you would have known that.”

“No,” he muttered staring at the bar with a heavy heart. “Thanks, Sandy, see you around.”

He didn't wait for her reply when he exited and stood in the middle of the street breathing hard and feeling panic tease the corners of his mind. Derek was gone, his loft empty, and he was unreachable along with Cora. He exhaled shakily getting back into his car and clutching the steering wheel tight before driving back home with his mind thrumming with thoughts and unable to comprehend them. 

“Stiles?” his dad called to him when he arrived home and sat in the car unable to move. “What's wrong son?”

“Derek's...he's gone, his loft is empty, he's not answering his phone, and he - he has gone and left me.”

“Are you sure?” his dad said with a frown. 

Stiles nodded facing him. He watched a dozen of emotions flicker over his face before it settled on sympathetic. 

“I know this is the wrong thing to say but...we need to go if we want to get to Stanford on time.”

Stiles swallowed the lump in his throat not knowing what to do when he got out and slammed the car door shut behind him. He was leaving his car behind. It broke his heart more than he could imagine, well it was nothing now, but it was to be left here. 

“I just don't understand, we had a fight, I accused him of things, but this...this is insane! He's gone and left, packed all his things...oh my god was I right? Was he actually cheating on me but too afraid to say or...was it this? He freaked out about me, college, and...ran,” he cried looking at his dad when he helped put his boxes in the trunk. 

“I don't know what to say.”

“Neither do I,” he whispered.

They packed the rest of the car till it was fit to bursting and Stiles said a silent goodbye to his house and car before getting in. His dad patted him on the knee before he drove them away and Stiles leaned back in the seat and bit his lip hard when he felt tears coat the back of his throat and eyes. The one tear slipped out because it was a traitor and he attempted to deal with what had happened whilst also saying his goodbyes to Beacon Hills and not letting his broken heart crush him completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for comments and kudos.


	22. Chapter 22

Stiles was miserable when he stared up at the ceiling of his dorm room that second morning and listened to his two house mates next door talking. They were okay so far. The loudest and brashest one was AJ Michaels who went for a high five the moment he saw him and was all smiles and bright blue eyes when he immediately wanted to make friends. The other was Doug Jones who was the complete opposite when he was quiet and kept to himself and in his own room. They got on and he was glad about that. 

That was all well and good but he was far from home and still had no idea where Derek was. His phone calls went to answer machine now and he had already eaten two much ice cream and whined onto Scott's shoulder all night. They drank till he passed out and now his head pounded from a headache and his stomach churned miserably with him. He was desperate for aspirin and coffee when he stumbled out heading into the kitchen.

“Stiles, my buddy!”

“How are you so enthusiastic at this time?” he grumbled pouring water into the kettle. 

“College is awesome, the sun is bright, and it's a brand new day! Plus a whole lot of good looking girls out there,” he said with a wink.”

“Go get them tiger,” Stiles muttered sarcastically. “They're not for me.”

“Why? Girlfriend?”

“Boyfriend, well...kind of, it's a little complicated at the moment.”

“Gay! Gotcha, that's cool with me! My brother is as well,” AJ said with a smile.

“I'm...never mind,” he muttered with a wave of his hand pouring sugar into his mug along with the milk. 

“We should go drinking! I asked Doug but he's...a weird one.”

“No, hungover,” Stiles protested with a shake of his head. “I have a few things to do today anyway. You go though.”

AJ saluted him before walking into his own bedroom and leaving Stiles with his thoughts when he leaned against the counter sipping his coffee. Doug left soon after meeting his eyes for a moment before flushing pink and stumbling when he left the room. He blinked in confusion but let it slide that he was shy and sat down on the sofa dragging his laptop into his lap. The place was silent when he checked the news before bringing up Bejeweled for a quick session before hitting the showers. He got a high score and called it a success when he got his clothes for the day and his towel heading into the bathroom. 

The water was nice and relaxing when he tipped his head back letting it wash over him when he collected his mind and thoughts together. The shower was the place to think and whilst he was miserable he couldn't help but feel angry and confused. It was a whirlwind of emotions and all he really wanted was to know what the hell was going on and better yet the truth. 

Stiles climbed out rubbing the towel over his body before dressing and stepping out to see AJ stretched on the sofa on his phone. He eyed him carefully before getting out some food he bought yesterday and stuffing it into his mouth. He was about to head into his bedroom and wallow in self pity when someone knocked or more like hammered on the door. 

“What? It's not for me!” AJ protested when he glanced at him. Stiles sighed as he moved opening it up and pausing when he saw who it was. 

“I honestly don't know whether to punch or kiss you,” Stiles muttered when he took in Derek's appearance. There was nothing wrong with him, he looked carefree, relaxed, and had his hands stuffed into jeans when he stared at him. 

“Hello.”

Stiles clenched his teeth together angrily and pulled back glancing over his shoulder at AJ watching them with curious eyes. Those eyes widened when he took in Derek. 

“AJ, be the buddy you keep calling me and get out,” he said with a fake smile.

“You're chucking me out?”

“Yes, get out,” he muttered gesturing through the door. 

AJ blinked but nodded when he stood up heading to the door and saluting Derek before he hurried down the corridor. Derek watched after him with narrowed eyes before facing him again. Stiles turned walking inside and waited for him to come inside and shut the front door. He made his decision there and then when he clenched his fist tight.

“Stiles, I...”

Stiles didn't let him finish when he turned and punched him hard across the cheek so his lip split and an explosion of pain shattered across his knuckles. He hissed shaking out his hand when Derek's cheek and chin flamed red and his tongue flicked out catching the blood. 

“You deserved that! Five days, Derek, five fucking days I have tried contacting you and you ignored me! It was my last day in Beacon Hills, my last day and I go to the loft to see it's empty, you absolute fucking dick!” he shouted getting into his personal space. “I had no idea what was going on! We argue and you take off.”

“I never took off! It was planned from the start!”

“What? Ditching me?!”

“Moving out and coming to Stanford to be with you!” he shouted pushing into his personal space furiously. “That's why I was acting weird, Stiles, I have an apartment down the road and a new job in the Blue bar.” 

“What?” Stiles whispered feeling the shock seize his throat and chest. 

“You really think I'd stay behind?”

“What about Cora?”

“Cora is in a serious relationship and she's moving in with her boyfriend. It was our decision, Cora and I, she wanted to be with Isaac and I wanted to be with you. It was meant to be a surprise and then you go and accuse me of cheating.”

“Again, can you blame me? Why didn't you tell me when we were arguing?” 

“It was meant to be a surprise!” Derek argued. “I wanted to do something for you that you didn't ask for!” 

“You scared the shit out of me! It's the total opposite of surprising me!” he exclaimed gesturing at him. “I thought...I thought you left, Derek, I thought you packed all your shit and ran off. Why didn't you call me back?”

“I lost my charger, well...I left it in the loft by accident,” he said sheepishly. “But the other reason was I didn't want to talk to you. I was in the wrong by not telling you and not telling you about the new apartment but so were you. You don't trust me enough to realise I would never, ever, cheat on you.”

“I do trust you, I trust you with everything I have and own and all the trimmings alongside it! I had a moment of doubt, you've never had a moment of doubt before?” he said gesturing at him dramatically. 

“Of course I have.”

“Well that's what I had, I doubted just for a moment, and come on...you were acting weird, disappearing for hours, never texting, and smiling at your phone like your texting someone else. It doesn't mean I don't trust you because I do.” 

Derek was silent as he moved to go to the bathroom and came back pressing a wad of tissue paper to his lip. Stiles felt a twinge of guilt watching him and cradled his sore hand with his arm. He was angry with him still but there was also a shadow of relief as well. 

“So what now?” he said looking at Derek. “Do we go back to normal and forget this ever happened?”

“I don't know, what do you want to do?”

“I want us to be normal.”

“What's normal between us?” Derek muttered raising his eyebrows at him.

“Everything,” Stiles muttered sitting down on the sofa and looked over to him. “I honestly thought you left, Derek, I thought you had gone...forever. I was looking around yesterday at all the guys and girls here and...not one of them caught my attention like it would have done if you weren't around. I hate that, I hate you, well only a little bit.”

“I guess that's a good thing.”

“You're an asshole.”

“I think that's your saying now,” Derek said casually when he walked around the room poking at things and looking at them. He opened the fridge and wrinkled his nose before closing it and peering into his bedroom.

“One single bed,” he said raising an eyebrow at him.

“What was I meant to say? Oh can I have a double bed because I have a boyfriend and we're going to need to sleep together and have sex frequently?” he said with a roll of his eyes. 

“Not to the extent,” Derek murmured. “But it could have been interesting to see what you would have got.” 

“True,” Stiles murmured rubbing his nose. “Look, I'm sorry for excusing you of cheating. I'm sorry for doubting you, I didn't know you were going to do this. I told you to stay behind!”

“I ignored you.”

“I can tell, so what...you're literally down the road then?” Stiles questioned leaning back.

“Yeah, I told you when we got back together that I would follow you wherever you went. You came to Stanford and so did I.”

“But that's like...serious! It's like a serious relationship,” he whispered meeting his eyes and ignoring the raised eyebrows he got in response. “Oh come on you know what I mean! People don't do stuff like this.”

“Well I do.”

“People usually stay behind or...they break it off!”

“You want to break it off?” Derek questioned folding his arms over his chest. 

“No, but you literally left the loft and came to Stanford for the four years that I'll be here! It's insane, what if we do break up in the future? You'll be down the road!” 

“But wouldn't that be the same if we were in Beacon Hills?”

Stiles opened his mouth to deny that but instead faltered bowing his head to look down at the carpet instead. 

“It's just insane.”

“I thought you would have been happy,” Derek argued with a hard swallow. 

“I am, I'm happier than I was about an hour ago when I thought you'd gone and left me for good. I'm just...stunned. I can't believe you've gone and done this. I thought I would be seeing you at the weekends or whenever I went back home to see my dad,” Stiles muttered tugging at the sleeve of his shirt. “I do like that you're five minutes away though.”

Stiles licked his lips watching him walk over and sit on the sofa next to him. 

“I'm sorry for keeping secrets from you,” Derek said softly after a few beats of silence.

“I'm sorry for excusing you of cheating on me when you didn't. It was shitty, but so was yours, you can hardly blame me,” he said in reply twisting his fingers together. “We're basically bad as each other...but you're worse.”

He smirked when Derek turned his head towards him slowly and gave him a disbelieving look. Stiles was expecting it when he tugged him forward harshly and kissed him equally as hard. Their little spat and making up was far from over but he could gladly kiss him back just for a moment and inhale the smell of him bit by bit. He was being pushed down into the sofa by Derek and enjoying the warm steady weight of him when the door opened.

“Oh...sorry!” Doug cried staring at them both stunned. His eyes drifted over to Derek who parted from him straightening up to kneel while Stiles tugged his t-shirt down and adjusted his shirt. Doug stared at him for a moment too long, his eyes lingering on his midriff before a cough from Derek disturbed him and he spluttered hurrying out of the room. 

“He likes you,” Derek said flatly when the door slammed behind him. “You need to change rooms.”

“What? Oh shut up,” Stiles muttered pushing at him when he stood up. 

“He just stared at you for longer than necessary, Stiles, and I didn't exist to him,” Derek argued sitting down and throwing his arms out to lay against the cushions. “He then blushed and ran out.”

“Yeah he just caught us making out!”

“He likes you.”

“So what if he does?” Stiles teased turning to face him. “I'm irresistible!”

Derek gave him a blank expression when he got out his bottle of juice and drank from it. Stiles licked his lips glancing at the door and away.

“It doesn't matter if he does or if he doesn't. I'm with you, remember?”

“Frequently,” Derek muttered.

“Are you jealous?” Stiles said coyly walking over to him slowly and dropping into his lap as he straddled him and pressed his lips against his to stare into his eyes.

“Jealous of what exactly?” Derek said wrapping his arms around his waist and bringing him closer. 

“Doug apparently liking and staring at me. Just two days ago I accused you of cheating, you have lied to me for weeks and then you ran away to here, and now you're jealous of a guy I've known for about a day! How have we not won relationship of the year again?”

“Competition.” 

Stiles smiled slowly leaning in and capturing his lips as he let his eyelids close shut and embraced the warmth of his mouth and tongue against his. The small groan escaped his lips when his hands pressed into his back and he was lifted effortlessly. Stiles swore softly when he clung to him and let him carry him into the bedroom and kick the bedroom door closed.

“The caveman routine is still hot,” he murmured when he was laid out on the bed and Derek proceeded to kiss his neck and nip the skin a little too hard. “We're seriously doing this? I should still be kicking your ass.”

“You accused me of cheating,” he murmured.

“I had vital reasons!” 

“I wanted to surprise you, I failed and won at the same time. Your eyes widened in surprise when you opened the door,” he whispered cupping his throat to kiss him. 

“Because I thought you ran away,” Stiles argued closing his eyes and moaning softly when kissed along his collarbone slowly. 

“I couldn't if I wanted to,” he murmured softly into his skin. 

Stiles frowned mostly in confusion when he carded his fingers through his hair feeling the softness and gripped it gently lifting his head up. 

“What does that mean?”

“I couldn't walk away.”

“Why?” he whispered feeling something heavy settle in his chest. He watched him stare at him silently and knew he wasn't going to get an answer. Stiles sighed as he shoved at him and sat up leaning into his personal space.

“One year and we still can't even talk properly. Why am I having flashbacks to when you couldn't tell me about Kate and Laura?” he questioned and met his gaze dead on when Derek jerked back and clenched his jaw. 

“I would think it was obvious.”

“You're a closed book some of the time. You have walls and you throw them up, you know it, I know it, the friggin pope knows it, Derek.” 

“What do you expect me to say?” Derek demanded moving to adjust himself and stand up. He towered over him when he shuffled to sit on the side of the bed.

“The truth, why you really moved here, why you can't leave even if you wanted to, and...a nice explanation would be great,” he said awkwardly. 

“Does it need to be said?”

“Once, yeah, hell I'm not expecting fucking love poems and - and you skipping around spouting your undying love for me here!” he said with a heavy sigh standing up. “But a confirmation would be great!” 

“Well isn't me moving here a confirmation?”

Stiles bit his lip and shrugged his shoulders up and down once watching him. The walls were already up and he longed to knock every single one of them down. Derek's gestures of love weren't prominent. They never had been and Stiles had come to slowly and surely accept it. Their anniversaries were nothing more than a day to have enthusiastic sex all day. Valentine's day didn't exist. His birthday was nothing more than a card. Christmas a present like their previous holiday to Turkey. 

He didn't mind though, Derek wasn't like that, he didn't do the big gestures, he didn't respond to his “I love you” and simply held him tighter, but all of it was okay. It wasn't till he realised something was up and had his doubts about him cheating that it all changed deep within him. The longing for the well awaited “I love you too” was well overdrawn by now and he longed to hear it said back to him. Stiles also longed for one single gesture, something to show off, something to hold dear, and even though the move from Beacon Hills was a surprise and very much wanted he still felt selfish. 

Derek's eyes were sad but his expression tight when he shoved his hands into his pockets. 

“I thought you would never force me into doing something I'm not ready for.”

“I'm not forcing you.”

“Yes you are, you're waiting for an explanation or really a declaration.” 

The pain in his chest was real when he tried to swallow and shrugged again staring at his floor instead of Derek's eyes that were currently boring into him. 

“I'm not ready for that.”

“When will you be ready or...will you ever be ready?”

“I thought actions speak louder than words?” Derek said with a raise of his eyebrows.

“Yeah, they do, they both do, but you need both. You need the words AND the actions, Derek, I know you're not good with both of them.” 

“Well isn't moving here enough to realise?”

“Yeah, yeah of course it is, it's huge and...so unlike you but...” he said trailing off and feeling the urge to stop and turn back time all over again. 

“What, Stiles?”

“I need more. Fuck, I know, it's selfish, and I shouldn't demand more from you when I know you're not ready to give or even say more than you want to. I mean it's only been over a year right? Let's count the months before we broke up as well,” he said feeling agitated when he ran his fingers through his hair. “I mean I was the first to say it because I went and fell in love with you! Like stupidly, like...stupidly. The kind that suffocates you after a long period of time. I say it all the time! All the fucking time, I whisper it when we're having sex, in a text message, when we finish speaking on the phone...and there's just nothing.” 

Stiles knew he was ranting and rambling and he watched when Derek's jaw twitched and his hands were balled together at his sides. 

“Is there any more to add to that?” Derek said lifting his eyes to meet his. “You're on a roll, Stiles.” 

“Yeah, a whole fuckload I've been locking away because I had to!” he argued sitting back down. “It's not just the words, it's...it's the little things! Like...last valentines I had to remind you of the day and Cora and Isaac was there and – and I was forced to watch when he spoiled her! I didn't mind, not really, I mean the day's a big fad anyway and commercialised and why should you dedicate showing the person you love how much you love them for one day when it should be everyday?!” 

Stiles' lungs ached for air when he looked at Derek who was like a living statue in his bedroom. The tension was slowly ebbing away from him when he looked away from him and down at his hands. 

“It's just...I think, well maybe, I'm a bit of a hidden romantic and you watch all these romcoms and Disney films and you get false expectations of relationships. You become a dork in high school and pine and lust and imagine all these scenarios over one particular girl and...then it never happens because you don't exist in her world. You then get with the most incredible man in the world with a shitload of issues and problems and you never expect them to happen but you still kind of hope,” Stiles ranted slowly and licked his lips when he swallowed hard. 

The silence was uncomfortable and he felt ridiculous for spilling his guts and wished he had a time machine. Derek was still and tense in front of him when he glanced up at him through his lashes. 

“Derek, can you talk or even more?” he pleaded. 

“I didn't know you wanted all of that.”

“Neither did I! I think thinking of you cheating brought it on. I got a little paranoid,” he admitted with a shrug. 

“You want all that? You want the romance, the...declarations?” he said with an awkward gesture. 

“Well yeah and no, I – I just want to know that I'm loved and I know you moved here for me and it's one hell of a gesture but...a little more sugar could be added,” he admitted rubbing the back of his neck and staring at him watching the floor instead of him. “I don't think you can do that...can you? I mean it's been over a year and you can't even tell me you love me, Derek, three little words and a whole lot of meaning.” 

“I thought we were on the same wavelength.”

“I was waiting, it's called patience, waiting for you to push past those issues, move forward like you said you would. I mean you told me...you told me the last time you loved someone and said it out loud was with Laura and Kate who died. I can understand that but I'm not going anywhere!” he said spreading his arms out. 

“Sometimes the words don't need saying! They can ruin everything sometimes.”

Stiles was metaphorically running into a brick wall and the brick wall was called Derek Hale. It was enough confirmation for him to realise he was probably never going to hear what he really wanted to hear. He didn't doubt whether Derek loved him because it was there in the way he looked at him, held him, and now with the moving over here to be with him. They were obvious signs but the part that wanted to hear the words wouldn't let Stiles go without a fight. 

“Maybe that's why we keep fighting. Maybe...maybe after all this time we're not right for each other,” he suggested. “Yeah the sex is good and we have great conversations of what to get when we next go shopping and my dad kind of likes you now but...maybe we're not right for each other really. I don't think I've helped you, Derek, I don't think I've done enough to make you realise that love isn't a bad thing.” 

Derek's adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed and stared at him with wide eyes. 

“So what are you trying to say?”

“That after all these months together, the limited talking, the lots of eating health shit and takeaways, the lots of kissing, and endless amounts of sex and cuddling because you're a cuddle monster and you know it... is that we're over,” he said feeling tears burn in the back of his eyes. “You need real help. I suggested this months ago, and I think maybe therapy and talking to someone in a fancy suit with a notepad might help you.”

“You think telling some stranger is going to fix my problems and I'll come back a changed man wanting to give you flowers and quote powerful poetry of love and flowers and starting a family?” he demanded in a hard voice cutting through him like a bread knife.

“No, I think it could help with you dealing with your whole family dying when you were just a kid, your sister dying in an overdose you still blame yourself for, and for being manipulated by a woman who forced you into sex and false love. I'm not helping you, not really, and maybe this is the wakeup call we needed.” 

“So you accusing me of cheating and me moving here to Stanford to be with you and not want to be apart from you is the wakeup call to end our relationship because I'm fucked up?” Derek demanded with a short hollow laugh glaring at him. “You're probably right, Stiles, I probably will never say those stupid and pointless three words you desperately want to hear or give you flowers and chocolates or care about valentines day like it means something when it doesn't. I probably never will so maybe you're right, maybe we should break up and I should do what Erica told me to do months ago!” 

“That's not – not what I meant, Derek, I just wanted...”

“To help?” he spat back at him. 

Stiles could feel his bottom lip tremble when he looked at him and nodded feeling the tears push forward when Derek laughed humourlessly looking away from him. 

“Shit job so far, I think I've probably made the biggest mistake moving here haven't I?” he said giving him a pointed look before turning away and walking out.

“Derek!” Stiles called after him rushing to stand in the doorway. “I really do just want to help you, help us, work past this crap so we can move forward! We've come so far, you jackass!” 

Derek's back continued to face him when he paused at the front door before turning to face him with a blank and voided expression.

“Stiles, even with therapy and strangers in smart suits with notepads nodding and listening to my story I don't think I can ever tell you what you want to hear. I don't think I ever was going to tell you.” 

“So you'd never tell me you love me?” he whispered.

“I don't think so.” Derek answered honestly staring past him. 

Stiles bit his lip hard feeling the ache of pain wash over him like a wave and swallowed back his tears when he nodded and met his eyes. “Well there we go...the final chapter in our story. No happy ending this time folks...maybe next time.” 

Stiles closed his eyes turning away from him feeling the tears leak out and hearing the front door close behind him. He hadn't cried so openly since his mom died when he sat on the bed and let them flow because it was easier that way. 

He was downright depressed when he finished and called Scott. Scott didn't even question when he agreed to come around and walked into the room holding a bottle of vodka. Stiles smiled weakly at him where he was sat on the bed. Scott sat in front of him and touched his wrist gently in question.

“Derek came round, he moved here, it was meant to be a surprise, we talked, a lot of things came out, and he can never tell me he loves me. I ended it,” he admitted with a sniff looking up to meet his eyes. 

Stiles laid his head on his shoulder when Scott wrapped an arm around his shoulder tightly in reassurance and to be there for him. The pain in his chest was an ache he never wanted and hated when his eyes slipped closed and he very slowly attempted to deal with what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two didn't do as they were told and this is the outcome. Is it just me who has an outcome in their head when they write and it just doesn't go how you planned? 
> 
> These two aren't perfect at all in this fanfic even though they're perfect for each other. They just need to work out their shit. I love happy endings so be reassured this has one in the end. 
> 
> Thank you so much for all comments and kudos.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I caused quite a reaction with the last chapter. Wow, I am sorry. *hands out cookies and flowers*
> 
> Thank you though for all comments and kudos.

The day was warm with a cool wind blowing over him when he stood staring at the white building with narrowed eyes. It was fancy from the outside with gold and silver plaques covering the wall. It wasn't a surprise really when these type of places raked the money in when people troubled came for the help they needed. It had took a week for him to call and enquire about therapy sessions. It would cost him the money he had of course but now he was stood in front of it he felt unable to move. 

His eyes closed when he thought of Stiles' last words and felt a bitterness lodge in his throat at the memory. The end of their relationship yet again was enough to cost him one week of restless nights and using all his spare hours at work in the Blue bar. It was a student bar of course but in the last week he hadn't seen or heard from Stiles since it ended. Derek couldn't help but look for him every weekend and even during the weekdays in the hopes he'd come in. His cellphone remained quiet and it wasn't like he was expecting him to contact him. Stiles was the one to end it after all.

The apartment was quiet, it was empty, void of decoration apart from his sofa, television, fridge, and bed. It was too quiet sometimes when he was sat alone with a beer and he ached in a way he hated. It left a hollowness in his chest and with Stiles' words pounding in his mind so did Cora's. It was actually predictable when she sighed down the phone but instead this time around she was not dealing with it.

“You're a fucking idiot, seriously, sort your shit out, Derek, or don't I don't care any more,” Cora ranted on the phone before hanging up on him. 

It left him with a sense of loneliness when he came to the realisation that he was on his own in Stanford. The Blue bar was nice enough and he had made a friend in a young woman called Cindy Simpson. Her hair was electric red and he didn't have to worry about advances or secret desires when she made it obvious when she kissed several women in front of him. Cindy was the one to slowly encourage him when he finally told her what happened when they shared a drink after work.

“Do you love him?” she said tapping her manicured fingers against the table. “Come on, you can tell me.” 

Derek didn't answer her as he stared down at the lager he had and she sighed shaking her head at him. 

“I think you do but you're too scared to tell him.”

“You know this after five days?”

“I'm very intuitive with those around me. I pick up on things like you're heartbroken but you hide it very, very, well, and you're in love with him but you're scared of those feelings and admitting them.” 

“I don't like you,” he admitted and rolled his eyes when she laughed.

“Now that's a bad lie, you like me a lot, and I like you a lot because you're better than all these jerks in here,” she said finishing off her drink. “Relationships start and end every single day and most of the time people get back together. I know I did, twice, but I think it depends on the circumstance. Is it because he doesn't love you any more?”

“No, no, it's...um, the opposite, there's a lot about me you don't know that he does and...he suggested therapy.”

“Holy shit, are you secretly a head case?” she whispered with a raised eyebrow.

“Maybe,” he murmured staring down at the bottle. “There's a lot of crap in my past I still cling to and...”

“What?” she said softly when he trailed off. 

“The main reason he broke it off with me was because I couldn't tell him, I can't say the three words he wants to hear so much. He doesn't think I can love him.”

Cindy was quiet and observant when she stared at him. “Can you love him?”

“I can love him but I don't think he thinks I can love him in the way he wants me too,” he said picking at the label. “We've been together for more than a year, nearly two years, and from the get go he was able to tell me he loves me but I couldn't...I couldn't say it back.”

“Do you want to say it back?”

“I don't know.” 

“Do you want to get back together? No, don't answer that, I know you do, look it's not my place to dictate to you what you should and shouldn't do. It's your life and your love life but if this is something special and you love him but you're afraid to tell him then...get the help   
you need to say the words.” 

It's was those words and Stiles' words and Cora's silent judgement from miles away was the reason he was stood outside the building willing himself to move. It was a step in the right direction and he swallowed deeply before moving forward and climbing the stairs. The smell of polish hit him when he walked to the receptionist. Her eyes looked him up and down when he stood there with his hands in his pockets. 

“Derek Hale, I called in yesterday, I have an appointment,” he said with a sniff watching her nod when she typed into the computer. 

“Take a seat, she'll be along in a moment,” she said with a nod of dismal towards the plush blue chairs. Derek sat down feeling awkward and uncomfortable and wished someone was him and in particular he wished Stiles was here. The wait for his therapist to come collect him left him agitated and he looked up when he heard hills and saw a prim woman wearing a deep blue dress and heels appear.

“Derek Hale?”

“Yes,” he said with a nod standing up. 

“Follow me,” she instructed when he was led down a corridor towards a room. The woman smiled faintly when he stepped inside glancing at the gold plaque to see that her name was Miranda Davies. The room smelt of her perfume intermixed with the smell of polish and wood when he sat on one of the white chairs in front of her desk. 

“My name is Miranda Davies, Mr Hale, and you're a little early,” she said glancing at her watch and looking at him with emotionless eyes and no expression. 

“I wanted to get here a little early.”

“I see, that's fine, so, first of all, why did you ring us for sessions?”

“It's obvious isn't it? I'm fucked up, I need help.”

“Why do you think you're fucked up?” she said pulling her pen and paper towards her when she wrote something down and glanced up at him.

“Lots of reasons,” Derek answered bluntly. 

“What reasons would those be? You came here for a reason, yes, and those reasons are why you picked up the phone and came here.”

Derek felt a tickle of irritation but it pushed it down when he sat back. “What do you want to hear first? How my family is all dead? That my sister killed herself in an overdose which I could have prevented or how the man I love has ended the relationship because I'm too much of a coward to say the three words he wants to desperately hear?” 

Miranda was thoughtful when she jotted down a few words before looking up at him. 

“Your family, when did they die?”

“I was sixteen, they died in a fire,” he murmured staring at the desk instead of her. “My sisters, my uncle, and myself survived. The rest of them died.”

“You also mentioned your sister died, which one?”

“The eldest, Laura, I have another sister in Beacon Hills right now called Cora,” he answered slowly. “She took an overdose.”

“How did that make you feel?”

“How did it make me feel? She was my sister! We argued the night before she died, I screamed at her, she screamed at me, and she left. It was a couple of hours later that I got a phone call from the hospital telling me she had overdosed. I wasn't there when she died and I couldn't say sorry.”

“You blame yourself.”

“It was my fault!” he cried sitting back and drumming his fingers on his leg when he stared at the floor. 

“Often when in mourning the victims of the loss can blame themselves for the death of their loved one. It's not uncommon, it often helps to deal with the loss, to deal with the loss of them in your life. Laura passed away from an overdose by her own doing and only her own doing. You were involved in an unfortunate argument which led to her leaving and then Laura proceeding to take drugs and alcohol which in the end took her life. You need to learn to forgive yourself, Derek.”

“How can I? It wasn't just her, it was both of us, we both took drugs to forget what I did to this family!”

“What did you do?”

Derek swallowed and licked his dry lips fighting again the urge to walk out of there. 

“There was a woman, she came into my life out of nowhere,” he said softly. “She was insane.”

“Did you know that then?”

“No, it was the kind of crazy that anyone with a motive hid till the last minute when they're murdering your family.” 

“You were sixteen?”

“She seduced me, she was beautiful, smart, sexy, and interested in me. I was a horny teenager and she was insane. She thought my family were monsters and those monsters had to die. I let her in and they burnt to death.”

“You again blame yourself for something that isn't your fault to help deal with the grief you're still feeling for the loss of your family and your sister. It's understandable really, you were involved in the before parts of being seduced by an older woman and then being involved in an argument with your sister which led to Laura later on overdosing. Do you not think that if this woman hadn't succeeded in seducing you then she would have found another in?”

“I don't know, maybe,” he said with a shrug. 

“Again, do you not think that if this argument had never happened that it would have stopped the inevitable death of your sister?”

“I – I don't know, she was hooked, completely, I had quit for Cora and to get a hold on my life before then but...” he said trailing off and shrugging.

“You need to forgive yourself before you can move on, from both, and that's what we're here to do. Now, you spoke about the man you love ending the relationship.”

“Stiles,” he muttered softly.

“Stiles, how long have you been in a relationship with him?”

“Months, I've lost track, we got together when he was seventeen.”

“I see, and now that relationship has ended because you can't tell him that you love him?”

“Basically.” 

“Why is that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Is there a reason why you can't tell him, is is because you don't love him? There is a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. Is it a romantic love you feel for him or is it a love you feel for a friend or a relative?” she said with a question shining in her eyes.

Derek frowned when he looked down at the floor once again thinking it over. His eyes drifted back to her to see nothing more than a professional kindness when she waited for his answer but he already had it. He had always had the answer.

“He made my life better. I used to take drugs, smoke, drink, and have sex with men and women for the fun of it. Stiles was no one then to me, just the Sheriff's son, annoying, hyperactive, constantly talking...all the time. He still is but it's endearing most of the time. He just appeared out of nowhere when I bought alcohol and...he got in, he broke down the walls, and he stayed. We've had our ups and downs but...even when I ended it for the first time he just stayed around. I realised my mistake and I got him back, I had to work for it, we all have to in the end.” 

“No relationship is perfect.”

“No, I moved here to be with him, I didn't tell him, it was a mistake on my behalf, and he ended it because I couldn't tell him and he doesn't believe I can love him.” 

“Can you love him?”

“Yeah,” he said with a nod.

“But can you tell him?”

“Not yet, that's why I'm here, I need you to help me so I can help myself,” he said looking into her eyes and felt relieved when he saw the understanding there. 

“What do you think we've started?” she said with a small brief smile writing down on her paper and he felt himself relax for the first time since entering the building. 

~*~

Stiles' eyes burned from staring at the screen too long when he and AJ sat in front of their television and played GTA on their free lecture. It was enough to distract him from his own miserable thoughts when he won again and punched the air with a grin.

“Dude, I refuse to play with you any more!” AJ said with a pout shoving him hard.

“You're like Scott, a sore loser, face it, I am awesome,” he said throwing down the control when he stood up to get a drink.

“Yeah and obviously single since you play this every night,” AJ muttered more to himself when he looked over his shoulder to glare at him. “Doug is more fun than you lately!”

“I broke up with my boyfriend like a week ago!” he protested sitting back down.

“Exactly, the healing process is drinking and you know...getting back out there,” he said with a grin nudging him before it faded and he sighed. Stiles rolled his eyes staring at the television screen when he sipped his soda.

“I'm not ready for 'getting back out there', I still love him, and...I can't imagine kissing someone else let alone sleeping with someone else.”

“What are you? Fifty? You're young and single!” he protested. 

“Yeah and I don't want that! You can go fuck everyone you like it but it's not for me, not yet, Doug is better than you sometimes.”

“Doug is boring...but he likes you,” AJ teased looking at him and grinning when Stiles rolled his eyes. “He wants your dick.”

“AJ, I swear to god!” he cried smacking him on the shoulder hard and watching him laugh and jump up when he hurried into his bedroom. Stiles was left to his thoughts when he toyed with the controller. It had been a hard week, there was no denial about that, even though denial was involved mostly. He stuck his head into his work and distracting himself with Scott, AJ, and Doug with drinking, gaming, and getting up to everything that didn't involve him thinking about Derek.

It was probably stupid since he was the one to end the relationship but he had his reasons and those reasons would always be vital. The thought of even being with anyone else left a sour feeling in his stomach and the thought of Derek being with anyone else did the same. That was something he couldn't stop in the end and if Derek had or even if did have sex with someone else he couldn't stop him. 

Stiles settled switching off the game and turning onto programmes instead. It wasn't long before AJ walked out and Doug came in.

“Hey, AJ in?”

“No, out, probably won't see him till lunch tomorrow,” he answered looking at him with a small smile. “Where have you been?”

“Library,” he said dropping his bag on the side and joining him when he sat down and sighed deeply. “I got fed up, what are you watching?”

“Nothing, this is my life now, boring television, essays, and listening to AJ vomit and fuck girls in his bedroom.” 

Doug smirked shaking his head at him. “It's not all bad.”

“It is when you're going through a second breakup.”

“I thought you ended it?” he questioned turning on his side to look at him. “Shouldn't you be happy?”

“I ended it because I had to,” he said glancing at him and away. “It doesn't mean I'm happy about it. Why because a relationship has ended should I get back out there? I love him, I've wanted him since I was fourteen and he was joyriding around the streets. I got him, I got all of him, but not the part I wanted more than anything. Derek can't tell me he loves me and I'm selfish in the fact I want that. I ended it for both of us.”

“So if he told you he loved you would you take him back?” he murmured in wonder.

“I don't know, I don't think he ever will so...” Stiles said trailing off with a shrug and looked back at the television screen. Doug was quiet when he looked over him and silence filled the space between them. Doug eventually left him when he returned to his bedroom and Stiles sighed deeply kicking his feet back. 

It didn't take long for boredom to properly settle in and he jumped when a drunken AJ stumbled in.

“Hey! Stiles, my man, my buddy, come – come out, come on,” he said appearing in front of him.

“I'm not in the mood, AJ,” he muttered with a grimace when he yanked on his arm. 

“You're never in the mood anymore! Come on, it's time to drink, have fun, please,” he pleaded pouting at him. 

“Where?”

“Blue bar!”

“I can't,” he protested tugging his arm away.

“Why?” he demanded.

“Because Derek works there and I don't really want to see him right now,” Stiles explained standing up and walking into his bedroom to hide. 

“Stop being a baby! He's your ex for a reason right? Well don't let – let it effect you going out, everyone is there, and Doug is shit. He got drunk and we lost him for hours only to find the freak in a pool of his own sick.”

“Hey, he's okay, just...a lightweight,” he said with a roll of his eyes. 

“Come out, get dressed, come on!” he pleaded jumping up and down.

He was like a child and Stiles groaned giving in when he nodded and paused waiting for him to finish cheering and hiccuping. AJ left to go to the bathroom when he closed his eyes rubbing his forehead feeling a headache coming on. Derek would be there and his stomach swooped and exploded butterflies at the thought of seeing him after a week. He changed into tighter jeans and a tighter shirt because he had to make some effort. 

Stiles knocked on Doug's door waiting for him to open it. “Come out, if you're my friend, you'll come out.”

“But...I have an essay...” 

“Please!” he hissed fisting his t-shirt and yanking him forward. “I will buy all your drinks.”

“Okay,” Dough whispered. 

Stiles let him go relieved and went to get AJ currently drowning himself in aftershave. He dragged him out waiting for Doug to come out looking sheepish when he followed after him. It was the bar everyone went to because they were allowed in and it was cheap. Stiles was nervous when he let AJ and Doug go in first before he walked in looking around the people already there and drinking. The top forty played around them when he scanned the bar and didn't see Derek anywhere. There was the red head he usually saw and he joined the two of them when they reached the bar.

“Where's Scott?” Doug questioned.

“Sick, he's got the flu, I called on him before and he was miserable,” he said with a frown. “He took a few tablets so he's probably stoned and asleep.” 

“Oh too bad,” Doug said patting his arm. “Two beers please.”

“Hey, is...Derek here tonight?” he said questioning the red head. 

“Who's asking?”

“No one, just curious,” he lied. 

Her eyes narrowed when she collected two beers and slid them over. “He's sick, called in sounding like death, why are you so interested?” 

“I'm not, just wondering,” he said taking the beer. 

“You're his little toy boy aren't you?”

“Toy boy?” he questioned and hated the way she smiled at him leaning forward. 

“I knew it, well aren't you a cutie! I'm Cindy by the way, he always talks about you...well when he's drunk or I ask too many questions. You've got a good looking one there.”

“Oh really,” he muttered taking a sip of his drink.

“It's a lot for me to say that when I'm only interested in pussy,” she said with a smirk walking away. Stiles gaped at her and glanced at Doug who looked back at him with wide eyes. 

“Shall we find somewhere to sit?” 

Stiles nodded following after him when they found a table and slid into them. AJ was a force of nature when he bounced and danced around the room. The guys hating him and the girls backing away. His hand itched to his phone when he pulled it out to see no new messages and Cindy's words about Derek bounced in his head. Derek was never sick, he never even caught it when Stiles was sick and he took care of him. 

“You're thinking about Derek aren't you?” Doug said in his ear when he inched closer so they could talk. 

“Is it really that obvious?” he muttered. 

“Kind of but you're always thoughtful and miserable these days.”

“Thanks,” he murmured with a soft snort of laughter. “He's ill and there's no one to take care of him.”

“We don't always need to be taken care of when we're sick.”

“He took care of me, I had the worst cold, the sniffles, coughing, phlegm, the works, and he was there for me. He held me, made me soup, looked after me when I was miserable then this,” he said with a soft smile at the memory. 

“But you were in a relationship then, it's not like that now, so what if he's sick? Everyone gets sick, Stiles,” Doug argued meeting his eyes. “Forget about it.” 

Stiles nodded taking a bigger gulp of his beer. The thought wouldn't escape his mind though when he drank his beer till it was gone and he stood up muttering about the toilet to a confused Doug. It wasn't his destination though when he hit the bar and caught Cindy's attention.

“Where is his apartment?”

“What?”

“His apartment, Derek's, where is it?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“Because I do! I didn't ask him where it was, I...please?” he pleaded with Cindy who twisted her mouth before moving away to scribble it down on a piece of paper. He took it out of her hand and stared down at it for a moment before nodding and leaving the Blue bar. 

He knew exactly where to go when he popped into the local store before heading there. It was probably one of his stupidest ideas since they were over and really he shouldn't be doing this but it was like a stupid instinct. The main door was already open when he arrived causing him to frown and realise how unsafe that was when he searched around for number fifty five. Stiles found it as he paused looking up and down the corridor before knocking. His knocking turned into hammering when he waited and jerked back when the door opened. 

“Stiles?” Derek questioned staring at him with narrowed confused eyes. 

“Hi,” he said with a small smile taking in the tired eyes along with bags, the wrinkled clothing, and the red nose. It was slightly adorable and he was obviously ill. “I brought you this.”

“What?” Derek said confused focusing on the white bag. “Why?”

“I don't know.” 

Derek blinked but stepped aside letting him in when he looked around the dark space and blinked when the light went on. It was empty bar the usual furniture and it made him sad. 

“How do you even know?”

“We went to the Blue bar, I met Cindy, she seems nice.”

“You go the Blue bar the only night that I'm not there,” Derek muttered with a wet snort and walked over to the sofa sitting down. “So she told you I was sick and you decided to get me stuff and come around?”

“Basically,” he said handing it over to him. Derek gave him a bemused look when he pulled out a tin of soup, bread, lozenges, and medicine. 

“Thanks,” Derek muttered softly looking up at him. “You didn't have to.”

“You did when I was sick.”

“We were in a relationship, it was my job, this isn't yours anymore.”

“Well no one is here and I wanted to,” he said sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck and looking around the place. “You seriously need a trip to IKEA, this place is...bare.”

“I have stuff,” Derek murmured grumpily. 

“Barely, it's like...miserable,” Stiles muttered sitting down on the sofa and looking over at him. “Sorry, I shouldn't have said that, I shouldn't even be here, I...was with Doug and AJ...I better go.”

Stiles moved to stand up when Derek caught his wrist and shook his head until he sat down again. 

“It's fine, this is...great. I'm kind of glad you're here.”

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to tell you that I'm in therapy,” he said with a sniff opening the cardboard of the medicine. 

Stiles felt something freeze inside of him when he stared at him stunned. “You actually did it?”

“Yeah, her name is Miranda, and I talk to her.”

“You don't talk to anyone.”

“I think it's the allure, I actually talked to her,” he said popping a cough drop into his mouth. “She's nice.” 

“Is she helping?”

“I think so,” he muttered looking up at him. 

“What do you talk about?”

“My family, Laura, you,” Derek admitted with a sigh. 

“So us breaking up actually did it then. You finally got the help you needed,” Stiles said softly watching him look up at him and nod once in agreement. “I'm glad, really, because you needed it and maybe in a few weeks or months...you could be...well...better than you was. I want you to be okay.”

“I will be, it's doctor recommended.” 

Stiles smiled faintly at him when he looked down at his hands feeling that ache in his chest flare up but ease at the same time. It was good to see him again even if it was only for a moment. Derek sniffed when he leaned back into the sofa and silence filled the apartment. 

“I better go, I have early classes, and...” he said trailing off and shrugging when he stood up quickly followed by Derek who met his eyes. It was almost painful to look at him fully and he swallowed hard when he backed away heading to the front door.

“Thank you for the stuff.”

“You're welcome, heat the soup till it's hot, don't overdose on the medicine, and...use vaseline on your nose,” Stiles said with a nod and rolled his eyes when he smirked at him. “I know my mother hen act is hilarious to you.” 

“It's nice, it shows you care.”

“I never stopped caring, it's been a week...I'm not that shallow,” Stiles muttered looking over him. 

“So you still care?”

“You know I do.”

“But you ended the relationship.”

“You know why I did it!” he protested facing him. “Fuck, it's already showing results here, Derek, you're actually in therapy, talking to someone else, and getting help! I did this for us, I wanted to help you, I wasn't helping you.”

“Yes you were, you had no idea how much you were helping me, Stiles, and how much you've helped me since the beginning. Everything I am, everything I've done is for you and myself, and from the very beginning when I was hooked on drinking, smoking, drugs, and fucking everything that breathed. That was you.”

Stiles was stunned into stillness when he stared at him and could hear his own heartbeat in his ears. He felt unable to talk or move when he took that in. 

“I wanted you there, I wanted you to be there when I went to that place. You ended it because you don't believe I can love you like you want me to and I can't say the words. I can't say them yet but maybe I can in the future.”

“What do you want me to say?” he demanded.

“Nothing, I don't want you to say anything. I just wanted you to know,” he said stepping back when he walked away. “You can go now.”

“What you say all that and expect me to leave?!”

“It's not anything new, Stiles, you had to know that already.”

“Then why tell me?!” he cried pushing away from the door to face him. “Is this something else you learnt from therapy? Make your ex boyfriend feel like shit for ending the relationship.”

“No, Stiles,” Derek answered with a sigh. 

“I did this for you, for us, to help you.”

“You did it for your own reasons, Stiles, you ended it like I said. You didn't and don't believe I can love or say the words.”

“Yeah, my own selfish reasons, and fucking hell I have a right to feel selfish, Derek, because it's been over a year and sue me for wanting to hear them!” he shouted hitting his chest. “Seriously, it's all I wanted, and I am so happy you are in therapy, you have no idea, and I really hope it does fucking wonders! I hope – I hope it does what I couldn't. I hope this Miranda makes you see that saying them isn't going to make the world implode around us. That love isn't a bad thing...”

“Don't you think I already know that?” Derek asked standing up to look him in the eye. “I may not be able to say the words but I feel it, Stiles, and I have felt it for a long time. I have never felt it as much as I have felt it with you!” 

“You can't even say the word! You call it 'three little words' or...or that crap you just came out of it!”

“I can say love, Stiles!” 

“Oh there it is, want a medal now, Derek?” he snarked back at him sarcastically. “Congratulations, I think I better go.” 

Stiles turned walking towards the front door when Derek appeared gripping his wrist tight so he gasped and was forced back into the door. His back protested when he collided against it and he stared into his eyes before looking down at his lips. It was hot enough for all the blood to rush southwards when he pressed into his personal space. 

“We're arguing about love, Stiles, couples argue about finances, who's turn is it to do the bed or go shopping or pick up the kids...we're arguing about who loves each other more,” he said softly. 

Stiles swallowed hard inhaling the smell of his cologne. “That would me.”

“You think you love me the most?”

“Yeah,” he said looking anywhere but at him. “I've wanted you since I was fourteen, Derek, you were everything I could have wanted. They all told me to stay away and I couldn't. You were a bad boy, everyone loves a bad boy, and I wanted you. How couldn't I? Fuck, you were everywhere! I love you, I can't stop loving you, and I don't think I can even if I wanted to so yeah...if anyone loves someone more than it's me!” 

“You're wrong,” he whispered after a minute of silence. 

Stiles finally met his eyes and couldn't even argue the point when his lips settled on his in a hard kiss. He exhaled noisily pressing against him when he fisted his hands into his hair opening his mouth when they deepened it instantly. It was like a shock to his system when his hands clutched at his back and neck when they kissed heavily against the front door. Derek sucked gently on his tongue before he retaliated biting his bottom lip gently so it was swollen and red when they parted for air. 

“I have to go,” he whispered against his lips.

“No, you don't,” Derek argued softly closing his eyes when he pressed their foreheads together. 

“Yes, yes I do, because...fuck this doesn't change...” he whispered trailing off when they kissed again, gentler, almost loving, and it made him want to collapse and cry like the films. Stiles remained still with his eyes closed when he kissed down his neck and relished the feeling of him against him before he moved away. 

“I have to go.”

“Stiles...” he pleaded when he opened the front door and walked out closing it behind him when he left and ran down the stairs. Stiles stepped outside breathing in the cold air and exhaling harshly when he licked his lips still tasting him. There was only thing he could do or say when he walked away realising he was truly screwed.

“Fuck.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I...*falls flat on my face whimpering*
> 
> I did my best to sort it the hell out and I'm quite happy with the outcome of this. It's not perfect but neither are they.
> 
> The next chapter will be the epilogue and a couple of years into the future.
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos, you're all awesome.

The problem with running away is the overwhelming sense of guilt that wouldn't fade no matter what he did. He couldn't help but feel guilty and sad when he thought of their most recent argument and kiss. It had been more than a week ago and Stiles in all honesty shouldn't have ran away. He had a lot of time to think about it alone in his bedroom listening to AJ fuck one of countless girls and Doug whisper and whine about sums. It was enough to make him realise how lonely and also horny he was when he closed his eyes thinking of him. Stiles missed him like crazy. 

It also didn't help when Scott was no help at all when he nodded and listened to Stiles rant but was also texting a girl he had met. Siobhan was pretty, petite, and so similar to Scott it was scary. They were basically perfect for each other and while he was happy with him, he hated it as well. 

“Stiles, I only have one thing to say to you, this is from me...and Siobhan...because I keep talking to her about you....but look you're miserable, you're pining, you're upset, and...you're making everyone miserable dude! You love him, you've made your mistakes, and now you have to do the right thing here. Get him back, stop this whole macho “I did it for him, I did it for us, I did it for the whole world” because you didn't! They're stupid reasons, so...be the bigger man and get him back.”

It was the only thing Scott had to say to him and it left him reeling at the sudden change of heart from him. It left him confused to what to do and here he was ten days later lying on his bed and listening to AJ arguing down the phone to someone. He lifted his head when someone knocked softly.

“Come in,” he said and smiled faintly at Doug who came in and winced closing the door behind him. “Who's he arguing with?”

“I don't know, some girl, I think,” he said sitting on the bed and looking over him. “How are you?”

“Fine,” he muttered with a soft sigh.

“You've been miserable for days, Stiles, even AJ has noticed it.”

“Fuck I must be depressed then for AJ to notice,” he murmured sitting up and leaning against his headboard. “It's just...relationship issues.”

“I thought it was over?”

“It is, because of me, I ended it, and...even my best friend says I made the biggest mistake and he didn't even support the relationship at first. Scott just wants me to be happy.”

“He makes you happy?” Doug whispered. 

“Yeah, most of the time, some of the time he's a grumpy asshole and he pisses me off but...he's the best,” he admitted with a soft amused snort.

Doug was quiet when he stared down at his hands and Stiles watched him pick at his nails.

“I had a boyfriend once, my childhood best friend,” he murmured meeting his eyes.

“Oh,” he questioned raising his eyebrows. 

“It was an experiment, well he called it an experiment, but he took my virginity, and it was more...friends with benefits. We never told anyone but...we were exclusive. I fell in love with him and we continued for six months. I had it all, I had him, I had sex on regular basis, but then...it all stopped. He stopped texting, calling, and he didn't return my texts or my calls. He ended it and he didn't tell me. The next thing I knew he was dating the hottest girl in the school and when I did confront him he said – he said that the experiment was over and he liked dick a lot, especially mine, but he liked pussy more,” Doug ranted staring at the wall.

Stiles' chest ached for him when his bottom lip trembled and his voice cracked like he wanted to cry but he was desperately fighting it back.

“The communication was cut and my heart broke. I didn't speak to him again until I was moving here and he broke up with the hottest girl in the school and...the texts, the calls, everything was constant. He said he was wrong and that when he was with her...all he could think about was me, and that he had to bite his lips sometimes to stop from screaming out my name.” 

“What happened?”

“I told him he hurt me, he hurt me too much for us to start again, and then he flipped. He called me a little girl, a pussy, a dick, every horrible word he could think of. He then said I was shit in bed and why would he want me back? I moved here and I haven't heard from him since.”

“The dick, I swear if I ever meet him I'll make sure he knows who the pussy is! You're better off without him,” he said touching his arm gently. Doug looked down at his hand and smiled softly at the gesture when he stared into his eyes. It was silent between them but he could feel a tension there and he could almost swear he saw Doug lean in like he wanted to kiss him. 

“You're better off without him,” Stiles said with a cough straightening up so Doug swallowed and nodded. 

“Probably, so, um, you and Derek, what's happening there?”

“Nothing, well not at the moment, but I haven't seen him since I ran out on him. I know he's okay though, he's working, he's in therapy, and he's doing okay. Me on the other hand...” he muttered running a hand through his hair. “I'm starting to think that maybe...I made a huge mistake.”

“What mistake?”

“Ending it,” he murmured with a breathy laugh. “I keep thinking of the things he said to me when we argued. We were arguing about who loved each more and not being able to say it and our relationship and how...he went to therapy and he wanted me there. I should have been there. I mean...fuck, I did it, I ended it for him, for us, but...it wasn't for us. It was for him and I...”

He trailed off when he bit his lip and shook his head. Doug grimaced with him and patted his knee gently when he hid his face into his hands. 

“Love shouldn't be this hard!” he exclaimed looking at Doug who cocked his head to the side like he agreed. “Loving him shouldn't be this tiring and problematic. It should be easy. I shouldn't have fell for him, I should have kept my emotions down in the beginning. I can't be with anyone else!”

“That's because you haven't tried.”

“I have, I have looked and imagined and everything but no one, no one meets it.” 

“Then you've not tried, not really, you could find someone better, someone who will love you, love you back, and you could find something more then you had with Derek. You're only saying this because you still love him and no one else meets your standards or expectations.”

Stiles frowned deeply looking over to him and sucked in a deep breath when Doug leaned in and pressed his lips against his. It was a brief brush of lips when he pulled away and looked at him with wide eyes. He was honestly speechless when he stared at him and licked his lips gently trying to deal with just happened. 

“Doug, I...”

“No, no, you – you don't have to say anything! I just wanted to put it out there that I like you and...you have options.” 

“Right,” Stiles murmured slowly watching him stand up and walk back out of the room. He was baffled and he stared at his wall for a couple of minutes before moving to the side and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He made his decision when he went to seek out Scott. Stiles passed through the living room to see AJ moaning into the couch when he lay flat and Doug was nowhere to be seen. 

Scott was in when he knocked and he opened the door raising an eyebrow at him.

“Doug just kissed me,” he said throwing his arms out before walking inside. 

“Okay,” Scott said raising his eyebrows at him. “I thought we knew he liked you.”

“Yeah but we were talking about Derek and this guy he used to date and he said I had other options, better options, and he just kissed me! I – I don't know what to think.”

“Well do you like him?”

“Not...not like that, you know, he's a good friend, he listens, and he's funny...sometimes,” he muttered sitting down when he nibbled on his thumb. “Fuck! This is a mess.”

His hands covered his face when he threw himself back on the couch and kicked his legs like a child having a bad tantrum. Scott sighed patting at his leg when he sat down and looked at him. 

“Well it's easy, you tell him you like him as a friend and that's that.”

“It's not just that though...it's Derek.”

“What about him?”

Stiles was silent when he removed his hands to stare up at the ceiling. “I think...I think I made a big mistake.”

“You make a lot of mistakes.”

“My biggest being ending my relationship, Scott!” he said slapping at him. 

“I thought we already established that?”

“What is it with you and your massive change of heart?” he said with a sigh folding his arms over his chest. 

“Because I'm sick of you being miserable and pining and not the Stiles I know and love,” Scott argued meeting his eye line. “You obviously miss him, you love him, and...you're making both of you upset by keeping this on. I've been to the Blue bar, Siobhan likes going there, and I see Derek. I see him working hard, quiet, moody, and obviously pining and it's not for anyone else so...” 

“Fuck,” Stiles murmured after a minute of silence. “What do I do?”

“Get him back?”

“How?!”

“I don't know!” Scott exclaimed with wide eyes. 

Stiles sighed closing his eyes when he knuckled his forehead and hated his situation right now. 

“I need to go to the Blue bar tonight, you need to come with me.”

“I'm supposed to be meeting Siobhan!”

“Bring her with us, please,” he pleaded putting his hands together in a prayer and pouting till Scott rolled his eyes and agreed. Stiles thumped the air feeling a little better and sat back.

“Fancy a game?” Scott said nodding at the television. 

“The next few hours kicking your ass? Sure,” he muttered with a nod kicking his feet off and grabbing the spare control when Scott handed it to him. 

They ended up having a good few sessions when the next couple of hours passed and Stiles soon left heading back to his room to get dressed. There was no one in when he announced himself and he quickly hurried ripping open his drawer when he decided what to wear. He decided on a fitting black top and skinny blue jeans before yanking on his black converse. His hair stuck up when he attempted to adjust it and breathed out heavily when it wouldn't do as it was told. Stiles calmed himself down enough to walk out of there with his keys and wallet when he headed back to Scott's room.

“We're meeting her there,” he said when he knocked and Scott left smelling of his favourite aftershave and looking nervous when he tugged on the end of his jacket. 

“You look nervous.”

“I feel it, I like her, like seriously like her,” he muttered scratching his chin. 

“She's good for you, just don't get obsessed with this one,” he said patting his back and smiling when Scott glared at him. 

The bonus of the Blue bar was that it wasn't too far away when they walked down there and Stiles was starting to feel that flutter of nervousness. It was always busy and always open earlier than it should be when students drank and laughed. Fake ID’s filled the place but it was always kept on a low profile. Stiles followed after Scott when they walked in and music thumped in his ears. He already felt hot when his shirt stuck to him a little and he paused taking in the sight of Derek and Cindy serving when they talked to the regulars. 

His heart was in his throat taking in the sight of him and he wanted to go over there and jump him. It would probably get the worst outcome but who cared. Scott found Siobhan and Stiles watched with assessing eyes when they greeted each other and it was adorable. He sighed when he hit the bar and Cindy zeroed in on him. Her eyes brightened when she glanced at Derek on the other end of the bar talking to three girls. 

“Hey cutie,” she said with a small smile.

“Hey,” he said with a small smile in return. “Two beers please.”

“Sure, so I haven't seen you since you came in here and demanded his address. He told me what happened.”

“Oh,” he muttered sliding the money over. 

“You took the cowards way out, cutie,” she said giving him a look when she handed them over and gave him his change. 

“I don't need to be reminded. I already feel guilty.”

Cindy gave him a sympathetic smile when she walked away and handed Scott who was engaged in a conversation with Siobhan a beer.

“Thanks man,” Scott said gratefully. “Siobhan, Stiles, you've met.”

“The bestest friend in the whole damn world,” she said with a grin. “I know you.”

“You really called me that?”

“No!” Scott protested flushing and narrowing his eyes playfully at her when she smiled back at him tucking a curl behind her ear. 

“No, that's how I label you, he always talks about you, mostly how he worries...it's adorable.”

Stiles rolled his eyes when Scott made a soft sound of protest. They ended up finding a table and sat down together when they drank their beers. 

“So that's your ex?” Siobhan said nodding at the bar. 

Stiles looked up from where he was staring at the label he was picking at and stared at the bar. His eyes immediately locked onto Derek's who stared at him for a long moment before he moved away.

“Yeah,” he murmured.

“He's hot,” she said with a sigh. “Sorry, Scott, but he is, why did it end again?”

“Because I was stupid,” he admitted with a nod. “Ask Scott.”

“He did it for his own reasons, they were stupid, honest and kind of vital, but...” he said trailing off and shrugging. 

“What Scott said, reasons I thought were vital and now beginning to realise...not so much,” he murmured taking a big gulp of his beer. 

“How could you let that go?!” she exclaimed gesturing at the bar. “God, I think we need more drinks. Shots, we need shots!” 

Stiles hummed in agreement when she got out sliding over Scott's lap and Stiles laughed into his hand when he looked scandalised and cupped his hand over his crotch. 

“You got it bad!” he mock whispered. 

“Shut up, you're one to talk,” Scott hissed back at him.

“Touché, brother,” he murmured leaning back and waiting for Siobhan to return with the shot glasses. They were sticky and burnt his throat when they went down but he was feeling a little better when they kicked. Stiles returned to the bar to get another drink and got Derek this time when he raised his eyebrows at him.

“You're drunk,” he stated.

“Those purple shots are awesome, taste like grape!” he said with a shrug. “They're great because I feel like shit.”

“Why?”

“Realising how stupid I am, it's a life changing moment,” he murmured meeting his eyes when he was handed another beer. 

“You're only realising that now?”

“Oh look it's funny's cousin...not funny!” he exclaimed pointing a finger at him. 

“Hey gorgeous, another wine over here!” a pretty brunette called to Derek who shook his head at her amused when he walked away to get it. 

Stiles bit his lip watching when Derek interacted with three very clearly interested girls when they flirted with him and Derek flirted back. It wasn't like he wasn't allowed but it left Stiles with a stinging feeling of jealously when he watched them talk. 

“You're so hot, you can't be single,” she said leaning forward with her chin in her hand. 

Derek didn't answer when he smiled staring at the three glasses and held up a hand waiting for the money. They handed over the cash and giggled amongst themselves. Stiles stayed at the bar drinking and left Scott and Siobhan to have quality time together instead of being the third wheel. His eyes were trained on Derek when he moved up and down the bar with Cindy when she whispered in his ear and laughed. Cindy would often look at him with a contemplative look in her eyes but he couldn't stop staring at him, his hair, his arms, everything and hated the giggly girls at the end of the bar. They constantly called for him and Derek always went. 

“It's my friends birthday,” the red headed girl said pointing at her. “Is there anything you can give to her that can make it better?”

“You can have one round on the house,” Derek murmured with a nod.

“I think she wants something more than that!”

“Beth, stop it!” the pretty brunette cried giggling and hitting her arm. “I'm Rebecca by the way, and this is Sandy.”

“Nice to meet you,” he said with a raised eyebrow. “You can still have a free round.”

“You're looking a little jealous there cutie,” Cindy whispered leaning into him. 

“I'm not jealous,” he lied with a pout. 

“Oh you are and I think everyone knows it since you're staring at Derek like he's your favourite cake and glaring at them like they're the devil's minions.”

“They're flirting!”

“He's single,” she said with a raised eyebrow. 

Stiles opened his mouth to protest but it died when she walked away to serve a customer. He ordered more drinks as the night drew on and Beth, Rebecca, and Sandy got more and more drunker as the time passed. 

“Gorgeous!” Rebecca slurred calling Derek over. 

Stiles looked up when Derek looked up and they glanced at each other. Stiles swallowed hard when Derek passed him and placed two hands on the bar.

“Yes?”

“Come here,” she insisted crooking her finger.

“I'm twenty and it's my birthday and just have to know,” she whispered gripping his top and pulling him forward. “Can I?”

Stiles watched with his heart in his throat when Derek didn't say no and Rebecca's lips descended on his. The girls next to her squealed and she pulled flushing pink and giggling with them. He had enough when he pushed the half empty bottle away and walked away from the bar. Scott's tongue was in Siobhan's mouth when he went to stay goodbye and he chose not to when he headed to the exit. The first deep inhale of the fresh air felt amazing and made him realise how drunk he was when he was unsteady.

His eyes were bleary when he practically stumbled his way back to his dorm. He had to catch himself a few times walking down the side walk and paused when he heard someone calling his name.

“Scott?” he murmured turning around to see someone who was not Scott in the slightest when he zeroed in on Derek approaching him. “Derek? What are you doing?”

“You ran out,” he said nodding at him.

“Yeah, it's time for me to go home and sleep and...eat...I feel like fries,” he murmured rubbing his head. 

“I'm sorry about that in there, it was drunk harassment.”

“You – you didn't put up much of a fight.”

“It was a kiss, nothing more,” Derek argued. “It's not like I did anything wrong. I am single now.”

“Yeah, I guess you are,” he muttered swaying side to side. “My fault.”

“You said you realised you were stupid...”

“Yeah, I make stupid decisions, the stupidest decisions ever, like – like running out on you and ending our relationship and...and letting Doug kiss me,” he muttered and paused pressing his lips together when Derek raised an eyebrow pushing his hands into his pockets. 

“Doug kissed you?”

“Yes, a few hours ago, we were talking about relationships, he said I had options, and leaned in and kissed me.” 

“Did you kiss him back?”

“No?” he muttered shaking his head. “Doug is awesome but not – not – not like that, he's Doug, he's...not for me.”

“I told you he liked you.”

“You – you can't be angry because you just kissed...brunette in there,” he said pointing at the bar. “We're even now.”

“I didn't know this was a competition?” 

“It's not!” 

Stiles sighed feeling sick when he turned and sat down on the side walk heavily. Derek towered over him for a moment before he joined him sitting down next to him. 

“Loving you shouldn't be hard, Derek, we had it so easy before all this bullshit. The good outweighs the bad.”

“We've been through a lot,” Derek murmured. “Even in the beginning.”

“When you bought me alcohol and we fell asleep in the woods,” he whispered and smiled faintly when he nodded with a soft snort of amusement. 

“San Francisco...”

“Having sex in a pool...and then on the balcony,” he murmured finishing it off and fighting back his smile at the memory.

“Turkey.”

“You arguing with that waiter when he groped me, swimming in the sea at night, having sex on the beach and getting sand...everywhere! Getting lost and trying to ask for directions from someone who didn't understand English,” Stiles whispered and chuckled when he did. 

“That time we got caught fucking in that expensive restaurant,” Derek muttered and Stiles gasped with a nod.

“They were so angry, they marched us out and practically told everyone we were having sex,” he murmured remembering it clearly and smirking when Derek met his eyes. “I think they overlook the bad ones.”

“Yeah,” Derek murmured softly looking up and down the street. “They always have done.” 

“I'm sorry for walking out on you last week,” he murmured resting his cheek on top of his knee. “It was a low move...you called me back but I just kept on walking.”

“It's fine, Stiles.”

“It's not fine at all, why do we keep doing this?” he whispered meeting Derek's eyes when he looked over to him. “It's like...what two years since we met and got together. Why are we so hopeless? Why do we keep...running away from this?” 

“We've both ended the relationship.”

“That's not a good thing.”

“You ended it because I couldn't tell you I loved you and you wanted me to get help.”

Stiles stared at him stunned and nodded slowly staring out at the road. “Yeah, you did, you got help but you wanted me there.”

“I did.”

“I deserve...the award...for the shittest boyfriend ever,” he murmured and turned his head to look at him when Derek's lips twitched amused. 

“I'm sure there are worse out there than you,” Derek replied softly. 

“It doesn't feel like it,” he said burying his head into his arms. 

Stiles twitched when he felt his hand rub up and down his back gently. “I feel sick.” 

“You look pale.”

“Yeah, one moment,” he muttered raising a hand when he leaned over the side and vomited the contents of his stomach. He spat and sighed deeply looking up at the night sky when Derek wrinkled his nose in disgust next to him.

“Come on, you can come back with me,” he said looping an arm around his waist and helping him up when they went to find his car. 

“My dorm is like right there though,” he protested leaning into him. 

“Yeah but your bed is small,” he muttered in reply.

Stiles raised his eyebrows at him. “Oh I don't know about that, Mr Hale, would you still respect me in the morning?”

“I'd make you eggs,” Derek said helping him in when he couldn't help but laugh when he got in. 

The fact he was drunk made time seem endless and confusing when he looked around to find himself in Derek's apartment.

“What the hell..?” he whispered in confusion looking around and looking up at Derek who handed over a glass of water and two tablets. He took them both and swallowed down the water till it was gone. Stiles frowned but took his hand when he held it out for him.

“No funny business, just sleep, promise,” he whispered into his ear. 

“I have a bed,” he muttered but pulled off his clothes when he climbed into it anyway. Derek soon followed after him when Stiles pressed his face into the cushion inhaling deeply and realised how much he missed this. Derek was a hot heat on his back when he spooned him from behind and he felt the tickle of sleep roll over him when he let it settle over him. 

~*~

Waking up was like being hit over the head with a frying pan with a dry mouth tasting like dirty ass and his body and stomach protesting. It was the feeling of being hungover when he rolled over and realised that instead of a single bed he suddenly had a double. Stiles shot up when he looked around and groaned with his head in his hands when he realised where he was.

“Hungover?”

Stiles looked to the door to see Derek leaning against him wearing nothing but sweatpants. His eyes trailed over his chest and he groaned closing his eyes when he buried his face into his hands. 

“Coffee is hot out here.”

“Mmm, coffee,” he muttered when he crawled to the side of the bed and yanked on his jeans before padding out and walking to get the coffee. The air was cool on his chest when he grabbed the coffee pot and poured a cup with a lot of sugar.

“I'm sorry,” he muttered looking over at Derek.

“For what?”

“Well I was drunk, I'm here, and my mind is quite foggy but I've got quite a grasp on what happened. I think dragging your drunk ex back here isn't too helpful.”

“I didn't mind, I would have left you to it if I didn't care.”

“Scott's going to be worried,” he murmured feeling the steam heat his face up when he stared ahead. “Or he's with Siobhan, she's so nice, pretty, and just perfect for Scott.” 

Derek nodded sitting on his sofa when he stared at him and Stiles sighed deeply when he placed his cup down and moved to join him. 

“I remember almost everything from last night and everything I said I meant,” he admitted with a nod. “I've been an idiot. I ended our relationship for my own selfish reasons to help you, to help us, but it didn't help us. I don't know what I was expecting.” 

“I gathered that from last night.”

“Fuck, why am I so bad at this?!” he moaned into his hands when he brought up his hands and knees to hide his face. He wanted to curl into a small ball and hide from the world if he could and he opened his eyes when Derek tugged at his arm gently. 

“We both are,” he said. 

“We have serious shit to work on.”

“Yeah.”

Stiles closed his eyes a third time but mostly in amusement and exasperation. Derek was warm and solid next to him when his hand pulled at him again but more insistent when he pulled him over to him. His hands framed his cheeks and neck when he looked over him quickly and assessing like he was trying to see a protest. It was both of them in the end when they leaned in capturing their lips together in a soft kiss which grew harder and deeper when their lips parted and slid against each other. 

Stiles was desperate for breath when they eventually parted and he licked his tingling lips staring at him. 

“You're not running away this time then?”

“No,” Stiles murmured with a shake of his head. “I'm kind of sick of running. It leaves you breathless, sweaty, and it's just not attractive.”

Derek rolled his eyes at him when he laughed softly into the palm of his hand. “You had your reasons though when you ended it.”

“Yeah, I still hold to them but...I think...I'm good at waiting, you know...patience and that. I can wait, I think, no, I can, I can wait,” he said closing his eyes and shaking his head. “I'm sick of missing you, I'm sick of feeling guilty, and I want to make this better. Do you though?”

Stiles felt his stomach drop at how silent Derek was when he turned towards him. 

“You're like fire.”

“I'm like what?” he mumbled in question. 

“Fire, get too close and you burn enough to hurt but it soon goes away but you can't resist it. There's something appealing about fire, overwhelming, and you're like that.”

“Oh,” he murmured raising his eyebrows and humming when Derek dragged him into his lap and kissed him hard. His arms looped around his neck and he played with the back of his hair when he kissed his neck gently. 

“Does this mean we're back together?” he murmured and pulled back to look at him. 

“Yes,” he said with a nod.

“We still have our problems though.”

“Yeah, but what couple doesn't?” he questioned softly letting his hands rest on his hips. “We're like any other couple.”

“We're worse!” he exclaimed. “We're so shit at this.”

“Life lessons.”

“Cora is going to be so happy,” Stiles muttered with a small smile and closed his eyes still smiling when he kissed his throat. “You know we need to have lots of reunion sex.”

“I forget you're such a teenager sometimes,” Derek muttered biting into his shoulder so he yelped slapping his back. He was hiked up so his arms were around his neck and his legs wrapped around his waist when he was carried into the bedroom and dropped down onto the bed with his body covering his. 

“Oh my big strong man,” Stiles crooned up at him. “Come on, let's create fire together.”

He couldn't stop the giggle when Derek paused and gave him a disbelieving look when he hovered him. 

“You did not just say that.”

“I did, miss me?” he murmured with a soft chuckle when he rolled his eyes and coaxed him into a kiss. There was no more words said after when their pants and underwear was removed and he was laid out underneath him. The push of his cock inside of him left him panting in want and relief when they moved together effortlessly. It was three orgasms later when his body was stuck with sweat and come that he felt a sense of comfort and reassurance. 

They weren't perfect, they still had their problems, but instead of working apart they would work together to form a better relationship. That in the end was all they needed. It was another life lesson learnt for the both of them.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END IS HERE.
> 
> This was a whirlwind. I want to thank everyone who read, commented, left kudos, and bookmarked this beast. I always write too long stories. Seriously. 
> 
> I loved writing the final chapter. It got away from me and I wanted adorable and cute and a hint of smut. 
> 
> Enjoy. :)

###### Three years later.

The invitation lay flat on the kitchen table when Stiles read over it again and he couldn't push down the smile when he thought about it once again. The wedding of Cora Hale and Isaac Lahey was long awaited, maybe not for Derek, but for Stiles who had been waiting for a nervous and fumbling Isaac to propose to her. The invitations were sent out but they were going and Derek was walking her down the aisle. He would deny till the end of time that he got teary eyed but Stiles witnessed it and he loved him even more for doing it.

His eyes closed and he smiled when arms wrapped around his waist when he set his chin over his shoulder staring down at it also. Derek huffed gently looking at it when he picked it up and shook his head gently. 

“I can't believe they're getting married tomorrow.” 

“They're in love, come on, you know you're happy for them,” he teased turning in his arms when he looped his arms around his neck. “You're giving your sister away to a man you know is going to love and take care of her.”

“She's too young,” he muttered clutching him closer to him.

“No she's not! She's twenty one, that's not young, well not really, who cares? They're happy.”

“Divorce, six months, crying Cora in our apartment,” he murmured with a nod and Stiles couldn't hold back his chuckle when he kissed him gently.

“That won't happen,” he reassured patting his back and moving out of the warmth of his arms when he moved to make a sandwich.

He had moved into Derek's apartment last year after they decided it was beneficial since he was constantly there and never in his own dorm room. It was a month after they got back together that he grabbed Derek by the ear and dragged him to IKEA to make the apartment more homier. It had everything now and it was more welcoming instead of making you want to leave and never return. 

It had been three years since they got back together but sometimes it felt like no time at all. Communication in the end was the key to their relationship when they dealt with every problem one step at a time. Stiles attended therapy sessions with him, sometimes sitting with him, or sometimes sitting in the waiting room. Progress was being made for Derek and he could see it day by day when there was a lightness there, a shadowed forgiveness hidden in his eyes, and Stiles couldn't be more proud of him.

He bit into his sandwich feeling the mayonnaise spill over the edges of the bread when he chewed and watched him look at the invitation watch again. Stiles knew he was happy for Cora but Derek hid it well. 

“You're going to look like James Bond in your suit tomorrow,” he said with a small smile when he raised his eyes to look at him. “Or part of the FBI if you wear your sunglasses.”

“Shut up and eat your sandwich.” 

“I am, happily,” he said lifting it up and looking down at the kitchen tiles when a blob of mayonnaise hit them. “Well kind of happily.”

“Clean it up,” Derek muttered rolling his eyes when he walked away. He cleaned it up and sat down pulling his cell phone towards him to ring Scott. 

“Hey, how's my buddy doing today?”

“Hungover to doom,” he muttered with a sigh. “Why are you ringing?”

“Checking up on you because I'm your friend and I care about you. You know you're going to be okay right?” he said with a twist of his lips. Scott's recent relationship with a lovely young lady called Lauren had ended with her dumping him and leaving him for her best friend. It had been awkward for everyone. Scott didn't have the best luck with relationships and they either ended by their hand or Scott's when they just didn't fit. 

“I know,” he muttered with a sigh. “You're going to the wedding tomorrow right?”

“Yeah, you can come you know, come to the reception with us. I asked Cora and she said it'd be fine.” 

“No, no, I have essays to catch up on. It's our final year, Stiles, we need to knuckle down and being around happy couples like you and Cora is not what I need right now.”

“That's just bitter Scott talking,” Stiles murmured with a small smile.

“Bitter Scott has a right to be here.”

“Just...don't drink yourself to death, okay? You'll find the one.”

“What if the one was a girl I've already dated and now she's gone because....because!” he cried down the phone to him. “What if...what if it was Allison? Maybe I should have tried harder with her.”

“No because it wasn't and Allison is in New York and she has a baby, Scott!” he said rubbing his forehead. 

“Shit,” Scott said softly. “I think I'm going to go be sick so I'll call you later.”

“Okay,” he said and let it hang up on him when he dropped the phone to the table and rubbed his temples feeling a headache coming on. He was lost in his own thoughts when Derek returned pausing to look at him.

“What is it?”

“Scott, another break up, another meltdown,” he said in reply giving him a sidelong glance. “He got drunk, again, he's hungover, again.”

“He'll be okay.”

“You always say that,” he murmured with an amused huff. “I'm just worried about him.”

“Well stop, he'll be okay because he always is,” he said walking over and pressing a kiss to the top of his head so he smiled leaning it back. 

“I love when you do that.”

“What?”

“Kiss the top of my head, my forehead, my lips of course, but it's just...sweet,” he said with a chuckle when Derek rolled his eyes straightening up. 

Stiles pushed out and turned wrapping his arms around his neck when he pressed a kiss to his lips staring into his eyes. He shivered when his hands pushed up his t-shirt and settled on his lower back when Derek deepened the kiss invading his mouth with his tongue. Stiles cupped his cheek so he could drag his finger nails down his cheek scratching him gently. Derek groaned against him when he tugged him closer and moved him along with his body to the sofa. His body pressed against his in the best way when he parted his thighs and let him settle in between them. 

His stubble scratched against his cheeks in the best way when he opened his mouth wider and moved his lips against his. His cheeks and lips were tingling when Derek moved to nuzzle his neck and throat gently. Stiles could happily kiss him for the rest of his life, could even die happily with his hands and mouth on him. 

“What time are we setting off tomorrow?” he questioned breathlessly when Derek's lips were on his stomach.

“You're asking me this now?” Derek said raising an eyebrow at him when he looked up.

“Just curious,” he whispered and groaned when Derek rolled his eyes and bit his stomach gently. “I need to set the alarm early so we can get up, you know how much you love slamming it off the table so it smashes on the floor. I am so sick of buying new alarm clocks.” 

“They're annoying and persistent.” 

“That's why they're called alarm clocks.”

“Stiles, shut up,” Derek said with a sigh unbuttoning his jeans and yanking them down. 

Stiles bit his lip fighting down the bubble of laughter threatening to come out and watched him brush his noses over the patch of his pubic hair. He bit his lip harder fighting down the groan when his tongue trailed down the length and he could feel his cock hardening under his touch.

“Fuck, Derek,” he groaned cupping his head and swore louder when he took him into his mouth. The wet hot heat of his mouth was perfect when he expectedly sucked him down and trailed his tongue over the head. His fingers tightened in his hair when Derek's mouth went faster when his fingers brushed over his perineum and against his hole. He was a mess of breathy pants and encouragement when he finally clutched his hair hard coming into his mouth. Derek swallowed it down like he always did and licked his lips when his cock lay soft between his legs. 

“Blowjobs in the middle of the afternoon...I'm too lucky,” he murmured pulling him up to kiss him hard and could feel how hard he was against his stomach. “Do you want me to sort that out?”

“If it's not too tiring for you,” he whispered.

Stiles rolled his own eyes when he unzipped him and pushed his hand in to wrap a hand around his cock and slide it up and down expertly. Derek moaned weakly pushing his face into his neck when her jerked him off harder and used his thumb to circle the head and collect the wetness there. His mouth was bruised red when they kissed biting into his each other's mouths and he caught him when Derek clenched nipping his neck when he climaxed into his hand. It was wet and hot in his hand when he removed it meeting his eyes when he licked up his palm.

“Fuck, Stiles,” he whispered pushing him down into the cushions when he kissed and licked into his mouth. 

“I'm getting a shower and no you're not joining me,” Stiles murmured when they were done and heaving for breath. Derek hummed when he dozed on the couch and he headed to the bathroom. The water was warm when it pounded over him and he scrubbed himself with soap and removed the traces of come and sweat sticking in between his legs and hand. It shouldn't have been a surprise really when Derek ignored his instruction and climbed into the shower.

“You always waste the hot water.”

“I do not!” he protested and pressed against the wall when he invaded the hot water. 

“Oh so why is the water always cold after you shower?”

“Goblins,” he answered with a nod pressing his lips to his collarbone. 

“No just a skinny idiot who uses it all up whilst singing into a shampoo bottle.”

“You love my singing,” Stiles protested grabbing the soap when he helped to wash him down. 

They showered till their fingers and toes were wrinkled and wrapped towels around their waists when they headed into the bedroom. It was clean because Derek had to have it clean and he dropped on the end of the bed when he looked at their suits for tomorrow hanging on the wardrobe. He was looking forward to tomorrow and looking forward to going back to Beacon Hills. Stiles hadn't been to the church nearby in a long time, since his mom's funeral, and even now the memory stirred something sad inside of him.

“Hey, what is it?” Derek murmured distracting him when he tilted his head up and he looked at him now dressed in his work clothes. 

“Just thinking. You're doing six hours tonight right?”

“Yes, I'll be back before midnight,” he said trailing his thumb up and down his cheek gently before letting go. 

“Okay,” he muttered kissing him back when he leaned in. “Love you.”

“You too,” he muttered before he left collecting his keys and leaving Stiles grinning like an idiot when he fiddled with his fingers. It had been five months when they got back together that Derek said 'I love you' for the first time and Stiles could remember it like it was yesterday. It was a normal day, nothing special, get up, drink coffee, go to college for numerous lectures, and he kissed him goodbye that morning whispering “I love you”. 

“I love you too,” Derek murmured sleepily in reply.

It left Stiles reeling when he paused in the bedroom staring at him for a long moment before hitting his shoulder hard before he jerked away.

“What was that?”

“What?” he demanded confused.

“That, what you just said, the...you just said...” he said gesturing at him. 

“Yeah, I love you,” Derek muttered blinking at him. “Is that a surprise?”

“Yes!” he exclaimed staring at him with wide eyes before kneeling on the bed. “Do you mean it?”

“It's like eight in the morning, Stiles, you're asking me this now?”

“Yes!” Stiles cried again and closed his eyes. “Sorry, I know, you hate the mornings, but please?”

“I mean it, I said it, can I go to sleep now?”

It was just like that and it left him reeling for hours afterwards until it finally sunk in at lunchtime when he ditched his lectures to go home and shove him in the bedroom. They didn't leave till eight that evening when he was sore and starving covered in hickeys in between his thighs and on his neck. It still left a warm feeling now when he said it occasionally when he felt like it or his routine 'you too' when he said it to him. 

Stiles dressed in his own sweatpants and pulled on one of Derek's tops to settle on the sofa with that evening. His stomach was aflutter for tomorrow and he settled watching Game of Thrones for the rest of that evening. He waited of course till Derek came back till he could go to sleep in their bed. Stiles pretended though when Derek stripped off his clothes climbing into bed smelling of sweat, aftershave, and a faint tinge of alcohol. 

He was tugged against him gently and he sighed softly turning over to curl into his chest and into his warmth. Sleep was mostly restful that night and he groaned when the alarm clock blared waking them both up.

“Don't knock it off,” he mumbled sleepily slapping it off and he sighed deeply when he rolled onto his back and Derek growled burying himself under the cover. 

“We have to get up,” Stiles murmured kissing his shoulder when he flung the covers off and moved to get coffee. “Derek, come on.”

Derek made a muffled sound of protest and groaned when Stiles tugged the cover off his body and dumped it on the floor. 

“Stop being a big baby, we have a wedding to go to!” 

“I'm tired!”

“You're not a morning person, I know, I mean don't I know it. I'll have coffee ready in ten minutes so come on,” he called over his shoulder when he turned the heating on and moved to make coffee. His eyes ached for more sleep so he knew how he felt when he waited for the pot to boil. Derek soon joined him looking like a grumpy puppy when he appeared. 

“Coffee,” he demanded.

“Yes, your highness,” he said pressing a hand to it and grabbed a cup pouring it in. He watched amused when he huddled over it. 

“I'll get a quick shower, I won't use all the hot shower, and have your second coffee before I get out,” he said rubbing a hand through his hair and smirked when he huffed. 

It was the shower that woke him up when he rubbed a hand through his hair and got out with enough hot water for Derek. Derek was more alert when he walked out and he brushed past him. It was hard to keep down his smile when he walked into the bedroom to get dressed pulling on the shirt and pants before pulling on the jacket. It was easy to do the tie after his dad told him how when he was preparing for the funeral years back. Stiles stood turning side to side and nodded his approval when he heard Derek open the bathroom door. 

“How do I look? I don't look weird do I?” he said standing in front of him and enjoyed watching his eyes widen when he took him in and looked him up and down. 

“You look good, Stiles, very good,” he muttered walking over still dripping wet and he pulled gently on the jacket. “You should wear a suit more often.”

“No way, one time occasion for this bad boy,” he murmured looking down at himself and looked up when Derek walked away to dry off and get dressed himself. He left him to it when he exited the bedroom and headed into the kitchen for another coffee. It was a long wait but he drummed his fingers on the side and paused them when Derek appeared suited and fitting his flower. 

“Holy shit,” he whispered aggressively when he walked towards him. “Oh this is not fair, not fair at all, are you seriously telling me you have to look like that all day and I can't touch you?!”

“Yes,” Derek agreed and dropped his hands when Stiles fitted the flower for him. 

“Oh you're the devil,” he muttered stroking down his jacket. “Wedding is at one pm.”

“Yeah so we better get on the road.”

Stiles trailed after him when they got their phones and keys together when they walked out and got into the car. The drive over there and he felt an itch of nervousness in his stomach like butterflies and it wasn't even for him. He looked at Derek who hands were clenched on the steering wheel when they drove back to Beacon Hills and he knew that he wasn't the only one.

“Do you have your speech?”

“Yes.”

“Nervous about saying it?”

“Yes.”

“Want me to shut up?” he teased and smiled softly looking out of the window when he nodded. He reached over gripping his hand into his and squeezed it reassuringly and felt Derek respond when he clutched back. The sign after a good couple of hours was a welcoming sight when they drove to his dad's house and got out looking up at the blue sky.

“They chose the right day,” he commented looking over to Derek who was pale when he nodded agreeing with him. 

His dad was suited out when he knocked and he opened the door giving him a small smile.

“You look good son, you too, Derek,” he said nodding to him behind him.

“Thank you, sir,” Derek replied politely.

“I told you, you need to start calling me, John, come on in boys,” he said pushing open the door so they stepped inside wiping their feet. “Long journey?”

“Yeah with moody ass over there being silent the whole way,” he said jerking his head at Derek who scowled and flipped him the bird behind his dad's back. Stiles smirked when he sat down and kicked his feet back. 

“Boyd and Erica are coming to the wedding,” Derek announced to his shock when he looked over at him. 

“Fuck, that's going to be a nightmare isn't it?” he muttered rubbing a hand down his face. 

“No, just thought I'd warn you, we may not be contact but Boyd is Isaac's best man so...” he said gesturing at him. 

“You're only telling me this now though?” he said with a frown and narrowed his eyes at him. 

“I was only just reminded!” he said looking like a picture of innocence when he looked over to him and Stiles was having none of it when he sat back. 

His dad returned with tumblers of whiskey for them which Stiles gladly took when he took a sip and winced because it was the strong stuff. Derek meanwhile downed it all. Stiles shook his head at him slowly and looked at the window instead of him. 

“I better go,” Derek said looking at his phone. “Cora just text me where she is.”

“Okay, I'll see you in a bit,” he muttered leaning up to kiss him and watching him leave whilst his dad looked away from him giving them privacy. 

“It's just a kiss dad,” he said raising his eyebrows at him.

“I know, come on, we better get to the church,” he said picking up his car keys so they went out and took his dad's car. There was some people already there when they arrived. Stiles noted no family, mainly friends, and there was a twinge in his gut realising that both of them had no family. Cora had Derek, Isaac had no one, and all thoughts disappeared out of his mind when he went over and stood amongst people he didn't know. 

It was awkward till they got inside and he sat with his dad watching when people took their seats.

“I didn't even think Cora and Isaac was religious,” he whispered to his dad who shushed him and he held his tongue waiting. He turned his head when Isaac arrived with Boyd in tow but no sign of Erica and he couldn't see a blonde head familiar to him. It was a wait for the bride to come but the music soon changed when the priest who would marry them walked down the middle. He stood with the rest of them when they did and bit his lip waiting for Cora to come in. 

His breath caught in his throat for a moment when she came in a vision in white with Derek by her side when he met her eyes and nodded in what looked like reassurance. 

“She's a beauty,” his dad whispered.

“I give it ten minutes till Isaac is crying,” he whispered and bit his lip to stop himself from laughing when his dad shushed yet again. 

“I win,” Stiles whispered when they seated and Isaac had tears in his eyes when he looked at her. “I give it ten minutes till I'm crying, fucking weddings.”

The ceremony was beautiful and he did have his tears in his eyes for them when they kissed at the end. Everyone applauded and gave their congratulations. Stiles patted his dad on the back when he walked down the aisle to Derek who looked lost in his thoughts when he grabbed his hand with his and squeezed it gently. 

“Are you okay?” he murmured and smiled weakly when he leaned in kissing him and nodded. “Told you that you could do it.”

“She was a nervous wreck at the house,” he murmured.

Stiles looked around and noticed Erica standing with Boyd and wearing a bridesmaid dress. He didn't focus on her though and linked their hands together when they moved outside for photos. 

“Congratulations,” he muttered kissing her cheek and turning to Isaac when they stood for their photo. “You, you lucky dog, you cried.”

“I couldn't help it! She looked so beautiful,” he muttered with a sniff. 

Stiles smirked before settling into a smile when they smiled for the hired photographer and they moved away to stand near the edge of the grass. 

“You now have a brother in law!” he said nodding at Isaac. “They're going to be perfect, she evens him out and so does he for her. The perfect couple.”

“They're not the only one,” a voice said and they turned to see Erica and Boyd walking towards him. “Long time no see Hale and Stilinski.”

“I think the last time we saw each other I called you a bitch,” Stiles reminded her and glanced at Derek who silently wrapped a hand around his waist in reassurance and to keep him calm.

“I can't even remember but I know it ended badly,” she muttered and she sighed softly looking at the both of them. “I'm sorry, I should have realised even back then that the two of you were perfect for one another. I mean three years strong is a record here. I...I'm sorry.”

Stiles didn't know how to respond when he stared at her.

“Apology accepted,” Derek said with a nod.

“Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry too, I was angry and swept away in the emotions of that.”

Erica nodded and stepped back when she took Boyd's hand when she moved led them over to Isaac and Cora. Stiles turned to Derek who had the same surprised expression on his face.

“I didn't expect that.”

“It was long overdue.”

“Clean air and all that,” Stiles agreed watching them with Cora and Isaac. “God, I'm hungry.” 

“Same,” Derek agreed leading him away. 

The reception was going to be held at a small venue served with a three course meal. 

“How the hell are they paying for all this again?”

“I wasn't the only one who was left money and Isaac got insurance from when his dad passed away,” Derek murmured to him in a low voice. 

Stiles nodded slowly taking his place and realised that since Derek's place was brother and father figure he was sitting with Cora at the main table. He rolled his eyes shooing him away when he gave him an apologetic look. His dad took his place next to him to his relief and Stiles was grateful for that. Soup was served first before chicken and potatoes, and a chocolate cake for dessert. It was amazing and he felt full when he sat back patting the bulge of his stomach. 

“That was some good shit.”

“You've always had a way of wording things,” his dad muttered amused when Stiles looked over at him and shrugged. 

“It was, it was nice, we should come here when I come down again.” 

The speeches were made and he watched proudly on when Derek made his to Cora and felt emotional by the end of it. He smiled at him when he met his eyes and Derek gave him a half smile back when he sat down and Cora looked emotional when she wiped her cheeks. The small party was soon moved to the dance hall and Stiles finally got his hands on him when he grabbed his hands bringing him over to the wall. 

“That was awesome!” he whispered and he cupped his cheek gently kissing him hard. “I knew you could do it. The best big brother in the world.”

“Shut up,” Derek murmured softly shaking his head. 

“You are, I'm proud,” he said with a nod. “You kicked ass up there.”

Derek rolled his eyes but let him wrap his arms around his neck and coax him into a kiss. There was a deliberate cough behind them and they parted to see a group staring at them, some in wonder, some amused, and the odd two disgusted. Stiles flushed and grabbed his hand when they walked away from the wall and went to mingle around. He stuck to his side like glue and it was easier to talk to people with Derek there. Cora and Isaac were the life and soul of it and everyone stood still when they stood to take the first dance on the floor. 

“Rule the World?” Stiles whispered raising an eyebrow. “Who knew the Lahey's were such Take That fans.”

Derek pressed his lips together fighting down his laugh when they watched them dance across the floor. They looked stunning together and soon other people wanting to dance joined them and he raised his eyebrows when Derek held out his hand. 

“You can't dance,” Stiles said with a smirk. 

Derek simply held his hand out waiting for him to take it when he clutched at his hand and let him take him into the dance floor. He was the lead and he clasped his hand with his and let Derek take the lead. He was actually amazed when he knew the steps and simply followed his lead when he stared into his eyes.

“Well, Mr Hale, I am surprised,” he said in mock surprise. “You can dance.”

“Secret talent,” he muttered looking over his shoulder. 

“Secrets, I didn't think we had any between us,” he whispered shaking his head and made a small sound of surprise when he was spun out and back in again. “Fuck, dizzy, you asshole.”

“I have secret talents, Stiles, be very surprised,” he whispered pressing their foreheads together.

“I am, fuck,” he murmured again clutching him to him and kissed him back when he leaned in.

“You're stealing my thunder, guys,” Cora sang when they danced past them and she gave them the finger to Stiles' amusement. 

“Maybe we should get married next, properly steal it,” he joked watching them move away. “What?”

“Did you just subtly propose to me?”

“What? No, I don't think so, did I?” he questioned pausing when he cocked his head to look at him and shrugged. 

“I think you did...the worst proposal in the world goes to you.”

“Hey! I didn't propose, I said we should get married, was I down on one knee?” he demanded shoving his shoulder gently. “I don't think we could get married, I mean the ceremony, I'd so give it two months into planning and you'd have a Hale breakdown.”

“Hale breakdown?”

“Calling it off, shouting, screaming, hating me, and then you'd be fine after I cuddled you,” he said with a shrug. 

“I'd marry you without a problem.”

“Are you proposing to me?!” he mock whispered and hid his face into his shoulder laughing when he sighed rolling his eyes. 

“As much as I love my brother and his partner stealing my thunder, I want this dance,” Cora demanded looking at Derek. 

Stiles smiled at her before leaning in and stealing a kiss before he walked away to find his dad drinking and talking to a woman too many years below him.

“Father of mine, are you drunk?”

“Son of mine, no, I am not,” he slurred waving a hand at him. 

“Excuse me,” he said to the woman who happily walked away. “Yes you are.”

“Why did you do that?”

“Because it was embarrassing, stop it,” he said when he moved to stand up. “Do I need to take you home?”

“I think our roles have switched.”

Stiles agreed watching him struggle up when he walked over to the bathroom to take a piss. His attention was taken by the dance floor when the songs became catchier and faster when he watched Derek and Cora. The song ended and he bit his inner lip watching Derek refuse to dance any more.

“That was cute,” he said when he came over to him. 

“I'm ready for my bed,” Derek muttered sitting next to him and signalling to the barman for another drink. “Preferably with you naked in it.”

“Smooth,” Stiles muttered and laughed when Derek gave him a knowing look. 

The night drew to a close soon after when they decided to give up for the night and get the Sheriff home and get into bed. They said goodbye to Cora and a tipsy looking Isaac who waved at them. His dad was a slurring mess in the back of the car when Derek drove them back. 

“This is insane, my dad never drinks like this, I think he had fun,” Stiles mumbled looking over his shoulder to see him snoring into the leather. “Is it weird that I find it adorable?”

“No,” Derek said softly. 

They worked together when they got him inside and hauled him upstairs to his bed and took off his shoes. It was Derek who led them into the spare bedroom with the double bed that they stripped off their suits and climbed into bed. 

“That...was insane, good, sweet, romantic, emotional, and...insane,” Stiles muttered into the darkness. 

“My little sister...a married woman,” Derek murmured in wonder. 

“Cora Lahey...I never thought I'd hear that,” he muttered rolling onto his side with a soft sigh. It was silent between them when they breathed and Stiles could feel the hints of sleep washing over him when Derek spoke again. 

“What about...Stiles Hale or...whatever your first name is,” Derek murmured.

Stiles opened his eyes feeling a lot more alert when he turned over and stared at him. “What?”

“Your last name, what if it was Hale?”

“I'd say...what the hell, when did this happen?”

“Stiles...”

“Are you proposing?”

“Stiles!”

“Are you!?” he demanded shaking him gently. 

Derek sighed when he turned on the lamp flooding the room with a dull orange glow. “What if I was?”

“Then I'd say...world's shittiest proposal,” he muttered impersonating him and pressing his lips together when Derek gave him a flat look in return. “I'd say I'd want nothing more in the world to be yours and yours only. I'd happily walk down an aisle and marry you in front of our family and friends because I love you and have done since I was just a stupid teenager burying his head in the sand.” 

Derek swallowed staring at him before pulling him into his arms and kissing him hard enough for his body to rattle. Stiles cupped the back of his neck and pulled back to stare into his eyes. 

“But is this a proposal?”

“Sort of, no ring, it's a little shit,” Derek muttered and laughed softly with him when he did. 

“Well maybe some day soon...it can be done properly,” he muttered. 

Derek nodded moving them so they were lying in each other's arms and he stared the best he could into his eyes despite the darkness surrounding them. 

“You called me fire once...” Stiles whispered.

“Yeah, when we got back together,” Derek whispered in reply. 

“Am I still like fire?”

Derek was silent when he trailed fingers up and down his back gently almost contemplating.

“Yes but it's in my veins, you've got in them.”

“The fire in your veins,” he muttered and snorted. “Why are we so cheesy?”

“I don't know.”

Stiles smiled against his cheek when they settled down for the night and felt that overwhelming sense of love and contentment when he settled for the night. He didn't imagine this when he was fourteen and he couldn't have imagined it three years ago when their outlook wasn't perfect. It still wasn't but they made it work because they had to. Their first story ended three years ago and the sequel is so much better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on tumblr - agentbuckybarnes - come say hello!


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